Four times in the last two years I have been seated next to an unaccompanied child under the age of eight. In each case, the child was unceremoniously dumped on the plane without toys or distractions for the flight. The flight attendants ignored the child and it became my responsibility to take her/him to the restroom and to request sodas, etc. I'm starting to wonder if this is because I'm a woman travelling alone or just plain bad luck. Has anyone else had this experience, and what, if anything, can you do about it when the plane is full?

Maggie, if you will retract the word "nightmare" (unless you meant for the poor child), we will wish blessings and thanks on you for taking some responsibility and being so kind to the kid, who undoubtedly isn't thrilled with commuting between parents. Four times is beyond your quota, I admit, but you have been doing a Good Thing and should be praised, however annoyed you may have been. <BR> <BR>But to answer the actual question -- if you are traveling alone, that means the seat next to you is probably a single as well, therefore a child alone may well be placed there -- simply because that fills up two single seats and allows the airline to seat couples (and triples) together. <BR> <BR>In addition, if you are traveling alone as a single woman, it's entirely possible the ticket counter or gate personnel put the child next to you on the assumption that you and the child would be a better match than putting the child next to a last-minute BigShot executive male traveller. I'm sorry that they can make that assumption, sorry that the male traveller might well just ignore the child or make a fuss to get seats changed, sorry that you consider it a burden, and sorry the child has to travel alone, esp. if he/she really is under 8 (I thought they had to be over 8 anyway). <BR> <BR>So, regretfully, I suggest that, if you find yourself again so "cursed," you go to the flight attendant before everyone else is settled and say you have something miserably contagious, or that you are hung over and too sick to help the child out. At the very least, it would put the attendants on notice that they have to pick up the slack. <BR> <BR>I suppose you could also tell the airline at the time of seat assignment that you are a registered sex offender...

Thanks for your comments! You have given me a new outlook to the experience. I am certainly not blaming the child, who is in what I'm sure is an upsetting situation. The little boy who looked up at me with big tears in his eyes as we started to takeoff and said "We're gonna die!" really broke my heart. But, I guess my point is, I paid my money to be a passenger, not a babysitter. I understand the necessity of sending children between parents and other family unaccompanied - but please, send some toys or a book along with the tyke. If parents think the flight attendants are spending any time with the little ones they are sadly mistaken!

Maggie, I repeat that I'm glad for the kid's sake you were there, and I also sympathize with you, since I hated being a babysitter for both siblings and neighbors and would be upset if I were pressed into service more than once while traveling. And as a matter of actual history, I would never have sent my son on a flight alone before he was 12, and I can't imagine doing so without giving a child lots of toys, books, etc. <BR> <BR>Moreover, let me share this with you and any other readers, as a point to ponder. My husband is a physician (actually a poorly paid academic pediatrician, so we only travel in coach) and has answered the "is there a doctor on board?" call many, many times. He's dealt with apparent heart attacks, a seizure, falls, etc. While the attendants are always grateful and usually offer him a bottle of wine or some such token, the airlines NEVER compensate him in any way. The general thought seems to be that if they did, it would negate the Good Samaritan law that protects doctors from malpractice in such situations. <BR> <BR>It always bothers me a little, although he and I are always glad he's there to help someone in distress. But it's clear that the airlines have an implicit assumption that there will be a doctor on board and that he/she will be willing to help in an emergency (think about who is supposed to use those defibrillators they now have as standard equipment). <BR> <BR>On our first trip to Europe in 30 years (cramped into coach), my husband spent the last 3 hrs. of the flight squatting over an injured and sick patient who was stretched on the floor between the aisle and the galley -- this instead of trying to catch a few moments of sleep before making our connections in London. The captain depended on my husband's judgment as to whether we had to divert to Rekjavik or not. The attendants were very gracious but all they could offer was a bottle of wine (which we declined as nondrinkers and which would have been a problem to carry for the rest of the trip). <BR> <BR>I have thought about posting about this before, but I know very well that everyone thinks all doctors are rich and greedy, so I was pretty sure the response would be that they OWE it somehow to the traveling public to step forward without a thought to compensation. And I assure you, that's exactly what my husband does, not because he owes it to anyone but because he's in medicine to help people and is happy to do it, mostly. But it has always seemed to me that at the very least, the airlines should send a formal thank-you letter to such doctors -- after all, they have put a lot of trust and responsibility on them -- and there are times when I've thought it would have been nice to have some kind of compensation -- some frequent flyer miles or an upgrade or something. <BR> <BR>Sorry to take your time to get that off my chest, but I thought you, Magge, might particularly understand. Meanwhile, less sarcastically than I did before, I would suggest that if this happens to you a FIFTH time, you alert the attendant that you are exhausted and had planned to sleep and relax but that you notice that the child has no one to watch out for him/her. That way, the attendant is helping you as well as the child. <BR> <BR>Good travels! <BR> <BR>

Just to show that the "in-flight nurturing experience" doesn't just apply to children -- <BR> <BR>My brother (an English professor with no special medical or counseling attributes beyond a kind face) once spent an entire bumpy flight from Eastern Europe comforting an elderly German woman who was very ill and frightened. At the end of the flight, he got a big "thank you!" from the flight attendants and a travel bag of toiletries that they had purloined from First Class.

Jo - Thank you for sharing your story. Bravo to you and your husband for being the wonderful people that you are. Even if the airline didn't think to thank you, I'm sure the sick passengers were awfully grateful you were aboard. I have two doctors and a nurse in my immediate family and I know that all medical professionals are not rich and greedy, but caring individuals who truly have a calling to help others. <BR> <BR>You are right, the word "nightmare" is a bit strong, but after three hours on a hot Georgia runway with a little girl who constantly chattered away about "My Little Pony" (I swear the child didn't draw a breath), the word came to mind. I had to laugh to myself and felt a bit like that poor lady in the movie "Airplane" who sets herself on fire rather than listen to the hero drone on about his life. <BR> <BR>So, I suppose the best solution is to have a good sense of humor and a lot of kindness and take things as God gives them to us. <BR>

Maggie and Jo and Jo's Husband, <BR> <BR>Thank you all. There are not enough kind-hearted people in the world. You will get your reward some day, if you know what I mean.

The BA long haul flight was full, except for the seat next to me. I was thanking my lucky stars re: my good fortune when a young boy (about 8 or 9) was suddenly escorted on board and placed next to me. My heart plummeted. Oh no! Which just proves how wrong we can be. He turned out to be the most entertaining person I have ever met on a plane. He taught me "Go Fish" (which I'd never even heard of), corrected me when I referred to him as English (he was Scottish) and then took me through a half hour history of Scotland (he knew so much his Dad had to be a Scots nationalist), he told me about his tonscillitos (sp?) op and wanted to know my medical history (I lied and said I was real healthy) however that didn't stop him taking me, in graphic detail, through every op his Mum and Dad had experienced (they'd have cringed if they'd known and truly I couldn't get him off the subject). In short we had a pretty entertaining flight - I discovered quite a bit about operations, Scottish history, public schooling, rabbits (he had 2) etc. However, as we neared out destination and knowing he and I would be filtered separately on arrival I inquired (of the the cabin staff) who would be looking after this unaccompanied young traveller at the airport (we weren't landing at the easiest place in the world to navigate). The staff, in that cabin, didn't even know he was flying alone and had thought he belonged to me. Obviously someone somewhere on the flight was aware of him, but during an 8 hour flight no one had come to check on him. I thought that kind of sad. He was a great companion. I guess I was lucky!

A minor (child or teenager) has NO business being sent unattended on ANY flight. These parents need their heads examined.

Teenagers should not fly alone? Any kid who is old enough to hold a job and drive can surely sit in an airplane for a few hours. The kid isn't FLYING the plane, you know. <BR> <BR>Oh, brother! Some people will grab any excuse to attack parents.

<BR> <BR>Grow Up: <BR> <BR>Since when has an eight year old been able to hold down a job and drive??? <BR> <BR>These posts have been talking about young kids, not late teens... <BR> <BR>I doubt anyone would argue that a mature teenager, say 15 and above, would be able to fly alone, if met at the other end.. <BR> <BR>But an eight year old? <BR> <BR>My sister and I flew without our parents once only, as we were being met in India by my family there, and my parents were following a coupl days later. They made very careful arrangements and we were escorted by airport and flight staff the whole time, we were looked after throughout the flight. That was about 20 years ago... sadly things seem to have changed a lot in terms of service aboard. <BR> <BR>I have to say, if I had a kid, I would NEVER send them alone on a flight until they were at least 15 and even then they would need to be a mature and sensible kid. <BR> <BR>Kavey <BR> <BR>(I just had to respond to moronic "grow up" who seemed to miss the point completely)

Actually Kavey, I think you missed the point. GKremer referred to teenagers and children. Grow up seemed to refer to teenagers in response to GKremer's post. Really, shouldn't we read all the posts to which we are responding? Regarding flying alone, I remember flying to Florida by myself many times starting at 10 years of age. At the time, my parents were able to walk me onto the plane and get me settled. I don't ever remember a flight attendant paying special attention to me, but then again, I didn't need it. Of course, back then, air rage and disruptive passengers was not as prevalent. Would I allow my daughter to fly alone? Quite possibly, but since she is only 16 months old, I have some time to think about it.

Yes, Kavey, I was referring to the person who said even teens should not fly alone. Teens are 13-19. Obviously, the person who said that is vulnerable to the remarks I made. And yes, you really should read all of the posts on a short thread like this if you are going to respond, and you absolutely must do it if you are going to lash out. Finally, you are entitled to your opinion, of course, but as you have no kids, I think you might want to defer a bit to those of us who actually have personal experience raising kids. <BR> <BR>Have a nice day.

I think it really depends on the child. My parents and I used to travel a lot together. When I was eleven, I decided that I was ready to take my first flight alone to visit my grandparents. I was well able to take care of myself and occupy myself on a plane. Parents should gauge their children's ability, and desire, to fly alone. <BR> <BR>And Maggie, I feel your pain. It's very kind of you to assist these kids when the overworked flight attendants can't, and try to remember (if god forbid it happens again), that you really are doing a good thing.

My daughter has flown alone since she was seven each summer to visit my sister and her family. The flight is a short one, and my daughter has developed a special bond with her aunt, uncle and cousins because of visiting all on her own each summer. This year, at 17, SHE got to sit next to an unaccompanied child, which brought a smile to her face. I really can't understand people who make blanket statements about what is or is not suitable for an entire class of people! <BR> <BR>My favorite story about sitting next to a child was related by a colleague. He sat down in first class to discover a seatmate he judged to be under 3 years old. Parents of said child were in first class a few roiws up. He offered to change seats with either one of the parents, but they said, no, they preferred to sit with each other!

My concern for minors being on flights unaccompanied is that this is not 1950. The world is not the place it used to be. Overbookings, flight delays, cancellations, unfamiliar surroundings, air rage, & more importantly the individual's safety from the typical criminal element that sees an opportunity to take advantage of the situation. I would rather see this person in the care of a trusted adult.

I have had a delightful experience on BA getting to know a British 10 year old going for his first visit to the US. He was fine but I was very disturbed that the flight attendants instructed me to help him fill out his customs form (this was not stated as a request). As a US citizen I was not familiar with the laws pertaining to him. I should have politely refused but was intimidated into complying. I can't imagine why they felt this was appropriate but I guess it saved them time on a full flight.

The only time I was ever upgraded to 1st class was on a trip home from Florida (to Chicago.) Next to me was <BR>a 3 to 4 year old who cried, kicked and <BR>literally wailed the whole way. He threw his food, because he didn't like it. I gave up trying to talk to him after about a hour. As we all left this flight his PARENTS came up from coach and claimed him. I was flabbergasted and <BR>so shocked that I didn't think of what I should have said until later.

Here is a good tip for parents of young teens flying alone. My daughter goes to school overseas and has to take two flights to get there from home and has an 11 hour layover in Frankfurt. Her airline stops insisting you pay extra for an unaccompanied minor but I pay anyway because she gets to spend the layover time a a special lounge for children that is supervised and has ninteno and snacks. She is 15 yrs old and is happy to stay in there playing video games and is not alone where any nutter can get near her.

Sorry, that should read: <BR>Her airline stops insisting you pay extra for an unaccompanied minor after the age of 12. <BR> <BR>Kudos to all those that help the helpless and shame on any parents that do not sit with their small children when they are on a flight together.