How's Nyamera's Planning for 2008?

Old Apr 18th, 2008, 01:13 PM
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Nyamera~If I read your post right, things are looking up? Keep at it girl, your dream will come true!
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Old Apr 18th, 2008, 05:15 PM
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I'm with Dennis on this one--sounds like things might be good!

You hate time-wasters? On Fodor's too?
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Old Apr 19th, 2008, 04:23 AM
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I donít really know if things are looking up. Iíve been given a quotation that might be a scam, but Iíve also been given an idea that I donít know if Iíll share on Fodorís Ö

Leely, I donít hate time-wasters, I just hate hagglers. :-" Iím not sure about the definition of a time-waster on Fodorís.
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Old Apr 19th, 2008, 07:10 AM
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If a company mentions that wild dogs are easy to see in the Mara and that black rhino are seen in Amboseli, then I would forget them.

Filling out that questionnaire is a reasonable strategy to find operators and learn about pricing. If nothing else, it confirms that the quotes you have are in the ballpark.
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 01:10 PM
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Maybe I should return to Bushbuck. It looks like itís the closest thing to my ideal camp that Iíll find. The guiding wasnít stellar though, but the guide was a really nice guy and not in a hurry back to camp. I did communicate with the owner of Bushbuck a couple of months ago, but then my emails started bouncing back. I suppose they got a good virus protection after receiving a Trojan horse from me Ö Now Iíve started consulting Tripadvisor. Thereíre some really nice people there and you donít even notice that theyíre wearing skimpy swimwear.

When I commented on a blog some time ago I got good advice about the most important part of this trip Ė staying in Kenya. Another person commenting there said I should seduce and marry an MP. I just have to find out when parliament is in session. I already got the names of the bars I should visit. Regarding the seduction itself, I was just told to use ďthe usual charmsĒ and I was too shy to ask what those are. Does any Fodorite know?
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 01:17 PM
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As a Fodorite, I'm pretty sure the usual charms are:



and lots of

a bit of

plus some of

but watch out for 8-X !
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 01:23 PM
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Don't offer cheese that you've been carrying for weeks as your dowry!
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 01:34 PM
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Thanks, Leely! Youíre a geniuos!

Dennis, the good thing here is that whatís called dowry in Kenya really is bride price, usually livestock, but in this case Iím sure my family will get $$$ and a Mercedes or something.
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 01:49 PM
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Hurry and go please Nyamera, I just can't WAIT to read the trip report!!! (and yes, I expect one even if you ditch the return air ticket)
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 02:35 PM
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Lynda, Iíll hurry, but first I need some sort of planning. Or, maybe I should just spend all the time in Nairobi looking for MPs?
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 03:07 PM
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While your MP husband is off MP'ing, you can open a b & b or preferably a camp and invite all of your Fodor's friends!

And don't settle for a Mercedes, get a LandRover or LandCruiser to take us around on game drives. I don't think a Mercedes will hold up too well in the bush.
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 08:34 AM
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When you are based in Kenya, you can be our foreign correspondent.

I am sure the charms referred to are your charming personality and character.

I agree you should ditch the cheese.

One thing that generated several emails to me from African men who were interested suitors, was my mention on this forum of a lion hairball as my favorite souvenir. Feel free to steal the lion hairball tactic from me.

In the meantime, best of luck with your planning.


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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 08:37 AM
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Dennis, the Mercedes was the payment to my family. Iíve heard itís the kind of vehicle that MPs like. With my connections Iíll definitely open a camp with many Landcruisers and Land Rovers. You are on the VIP-list.
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 08:42 AM
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Thanks, Lynn. Now I must find a lion hairball. Maybe I should have my email address visible on Fodorís. Iím afraid of Trojan horses (they arenít good for game rides), but it sounds like you get some interesting mail.
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Old May 21st, 2008, 01:27 PM
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An update:

Iím not getting anywhere. Iím just contacting expensive camps hoping to get an incredible offer because I want a longer stay and it does NOT work. I have to become more serious now when thereís less than a month left before my departure.

Whatís really important is to find a way to stay in Kenya and the only serious advice Iíve got is to visit some bars where I can seduce an MP Ė and I did not even get this advice on Fodorís.

Iíd have to make a Kenyan version of my business card to appear as what in Kenyan English is called a ďbig personĒ At the moment is just says:
ďMy civilian nameĒ
Nyamera
Kenya Imports
Telephone
Email

Iíd have to write something that would imply that I could work as a consultant to safari camps, or something in that style, or just anything Ö Any ideas? Kenyans arenít shy about these things. On the business card of my favourite hotel cleaner it says:
ďNameĒís Tours and Safaris
Dealers in: Excursions, Luxury/Camping Safaris, Mountain Trekking, Car Hire, Hotel & Lodge Booking, Slums, Curious, Africa Batiks.
ďNameĒ
Director
Telephone
Email
Insumption of: Needy Children, Widows, Widowers, Orphans, H.I.V, Victims, Women Projects.

Then thereís a problem with the phone number on the card. I use my Swedish mobile phone and I donít want anyone to phone me as it costs me a lot of money. If I write ďSMS onlyĒ, will I still look like a ďbig personĒ?
Tafadhali nisaidieni!

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Old May 21st, 2008, 04:54 PM
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"Civilian name"
Nyamera
Cheese Importer
"Hand Delivered to Your Lodge"
(In Return For Lodging)
"So Exclusive You Have to SMS Me"

Good luck Nyamera! If anyone deserves a break and whose dreams come true, it's you!
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Old May 21st, 2008, 05:45 PM
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I have been wracking my brain about all this, but I am the wrong person to give advice. Dennis has better advice than me. What does that say about me???

Nanny/governess/pastry maker? Swedish masseuse? (That might also help with the MP.)
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Old May 21st, 2008, 07:46 PM
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I've been wracking my brain wondering what Leely2 meant by that remark!

(and what happened to Leely1?)
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Old May 21st, 2008, 08:18 PM
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Eek, Dennis, I was being serious-jokey. You really have given better advice and that's not shocking. I do so wish I could help.

And I have really been racking my brain since posting, because I think it's not "wracking." D*mn you, lazy head and no dictionary at hand.
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Old May 22nd, 2008, 08:46 AM
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Dennis and Leely2, thanks for wracking your brains!

The cheese idea isnít all that bad. If it werenít because Iíve tried some good Kenyan cheese and bought a bit of it, I would consider becoming a cheese importer, but I really wouldnít want to import the produce of over-subsidised European farmers.

As a nanny/governess Iíd have a lot of competition from people working for less than I need to buy sunscreen, and I mean this literally. Pastry making is actually the only thing I get favourable comments about from people in my surrounding, so Iíve fantasised about becoming a dessert consultant to safari camps, but the camps that spend a lot money on silly things already have excellent desserts Ė Iím thinking of Intrepids Ė and I prefer the camps that just serve some fruit or a dry sponge cake that grows in the mouth, and Iíve stopped all dessert activities to become thinner and more attractive to MPs. The masseuse idea sounds almost serious. I think Iíve actually heard something about an expat working as a masseuse, but that must have been in Tanzania. Iíve got the impression that itís the profession with the best ratio of duration of studies/good money coming in, but an uncle of mine has tried it without success and heís better at self-promotion than I am. To get a diploma before my departure Iíd have to be very decisive and really believing that it would work. Iíd like to have ďmasseuseĒ on my business card though.

I wonder what Leely2 has done to the old Leely Ö


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