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-   -   Where should I pop the question? (https://www.fodors.com/community/united-states/where-should-i-pop-the-question-272971/)

Me Nov 13th, 2002 12:42 PM

Where should I pop the question?
 
Hi,<BR>Ok, let me take a deep breath.......I've finally saved enough to buy my g/f an engagement ring and have money leftover for an awesome getaway. My hope is to fly somewhere for New Year's and ask while we're away(if I don't pass out from fear first...)<BR><BR>Now here's the question, folks? WHERE?! <BR><BR>We both love NY, so that's a thought. I've been to San Fran but she's hasn't-- somewhere in Napa Valley?<BR><BR>Are there any great engagement stories/ideas that I can steal?<BR><BR>Me<BR><BR>

Me Nov 13th, 2002 12:46 PM

I forgot to mention that we're in our late 20's and live in Georgia. I have about $1500-2000 set aside for the big w/e.

good Nov 13th, 2002 12:49 PM

dude,get real. You should have the guts to think of this on your own,not on some travel forum. She finds out about this and she may say NO!

Nancy Nov 13th, 2002 12:51 PM

My husband proposed to me in St. Martin. It's not the US, but very romantic. He came out on the balcony with a bottle of champagne and a towel over his arm like a real sommelier. It was sooooooooo romantic. If you need to stay in the states, the top of the empire state building could be very romantic. The Ritz Carlton in Naples Florida is beautiful or maybe somewhere in New Orleans. If you can, get rose petals and put them on the bed or somewhere in the room..........women love that! Good luck!

xxx Nov 13th, 2002 12:52 PM

Do it at the Rainbow Room in New York City. Get a room at the Waldorf or Plaza. Aren't you going to be a great husband. <BR><BR>PS Breath in, breath out. We all say yes.

xxx Nov 13th, 2002 12:53 PM

The top of the Empire State building is always crowded and windy. Not good advice.

xxx Nov 13th, 2002 12:54 PM

The Chateau Lake Louise. Nothing is more romantic than the Rockies in winter - ski during the day, sit in front of a raoring fire at night.

S Nov 13th, 2002 01:00 PM

My husband, with his wiseass sense of humor, asked me to get him a glass of orange juice. We were packing to go visit his parents for the weekend and his contract had just been renewed. I said &quot;Sure&quot; and opened the refridgerator to find the ring box open in front of the OJ.<BR><BR>Do you want her to get an idea of what's going on ahead of time? Then do the spectacular weekend - she'll get suspicious.<BR><BR>If you want the whole thing to be a surprise, don't go too far out of the ordinary.

OliveOyl Nov 13th, 2002 01:39 PM

Our son just did this. It was his girlfriend's birthday so he told her he had a surprise trip planned for her birthday weekend. He found a great getaway deal through Expedia, Dallas-&gt;Colorado Springs, airfare, 3 nights hotel and 3 days full sized car rental for $300 pp. Then he obsessed that he'd be stopped going through security and the ring box found and opened. LOL Didn't happen. His plan had been to propose at the top of Pikes Peak, but they got up there, it was frigid, blowing and snowing. Not the atmosphere he was looking for. He ended up asking her back at the room--with a view of Pikes Peak from their window. Got down on his knee then couldn't get the words out! She got the idea...and said yes (and cried) etc. Good luck and best wishes!!

duh! Nov 13th, 2002 02:45 PM

Make sure the answer will be &quot;yes&quot; !<BR><BR>A co-worker's son took girlfriend to Orlando &amp; popped question. Everyone surprised to hear answer was &quot;no&quot;, and the rest of their vacation was quite &quot;tense&quot;.<BR><BR>Better to do it at a special place near home, and use the extra money for honeymoon or house.

Me Nov 13th, 2002 03:07 PM

Hi!<BR><BR>Thanks for the ideas and for the positive poster, the votes of encouragement.<BR><BR>I'm not worried about whether or not she'll say yes--my g/f has been the one pushing to get engaged. She thinks after 4 yrs together (2 of them living together) that I've been dragging my feet. Yeah, right. I'm a guy, I don't drag my feet.<BR><BR>As for getting suspicious, she shouldn't be b/c we've established that we want to go away and both found out (this week) we have 12/25-1/3 off. Besides, she's also informed me that I need to plan something since she's done most of the organizing for the last couple of trips we've taken (It's easier for her and she's better at it.)<BR><BR>Anyway, I'm just uptight because I want her to have great memories of the proposal. I'm only doing this once, so I have to get it perfect!<BR><BR>Keep the ideas coming,<BR>Me

xxx Nov 13th, 2002 04:15 PM

Me: Do you have any special interests that you both share? <BR>Do you prefer big cities or relaxing resorts? Do you think she'd prefer to be proposed to in a public place in front of strangers or privately in a romantic setting? <BR><BR>Do you want a warm setting or is a ski resort an option?<BR><BR>

Jep Nov 13th, 2002 04:47 PM

I'm thinking one of the Bowl football games that way every year you can go back and see a bowl game for your ani. Now let the women start throwing things at me. lol

Chip Nov 13th, 2002 04:54 PM

What a knuckle dragger.

Me Nov 13th, 2002 05:10 PM

Hello XXX--<BR>We both love big cities but we also enjoy relaxing in a great scenic locale. Neither of us are into the big hotel ballroom type of New Year's--and she would definately hate being asked in front of a room full of strangers (which is good because I'd never do it). It will definately be a quite moment, either following a special meal (we both like the finer things in life--wine, wonderfully prepared meals) or maybe sharing a sunset somewhere....I'm a football fanatic (Go Gators!) but the Bowl idea won't fly--too bad, huh?<BR><BR>Ske's not as big of a skier as I am so I think a warm or semi-warm place would be best. Anyone been to Aruba? (I'll post on the Caribbean board too...)<BR><BR>Another idea I have is for some great resort in Sedona but can't for the life of me think of what it's called....<BR><BR>

FootballFan Nov 13th, 2002 05:12 PM

Believe it or not, there are some women who would prefer tickets to a big bowl game if their alma mater was playing to rose petals (which seem trite in comparison). Welcome to the 21st century

Jon-Eric Nov 13th, 2002 05:24 PM

Congrats! I have a few choices. New Orleans is certainly romantic and lots of proposals (yes while sober) have been uttered in a carriage in front of St Louis Catherdral. Savannah, Ga which is even closer to you after a nice dinner at Elizabeths on 37th. Theres also Charleston, SC at almost any location is bound to be atmopheric espescially in the evening after a rain.<BR>Save the really long or farther away trip for the honeymoon. Good luck

Jon-Eric Nov 13th, 2002 05:34 PM

Forgot this earlier. Apparantly this is so prevalent in New Orleans that a lot of the better hotels concierge staff are very resourceful at arranging certain things in accordance with this, but I just had another idea. Fly to New Orleans and spend the night at Madewood Plantation, trust me, about and hour and a half from New Orleans. The rates include dinner which if requested can be served private on the veranda, sunroom, room etc Madewood is absolutely beautiful and I'm sure they'd arrange anything you might need.<BR>The dinners are great, five coarse affairs served off of the homes original china. Let us know what you decide

Jim Nov 13th, 2002 05:39 PM

You might be thinking of &quot;The Boulders&quot; resort, but thats in Carefree, Az and your 1,500.00 would be gone in 3 days.

Been there Nov 13th, 2002 05:43 PM

Why don't you just call and ask her now and get it off your chest. That is what I did. Then I had her pick the ring she liked (got it via a jeweler her mother knew at a discount). Not classically romantic, but it worked. And if you ever part ways you will still have your dignity and a few extra bucks.

J Nov 13th, 2002 05:47 PM

Why do men always think there needs to be staging involved? I've never had a female friend (or me!) who wanted to be proposed to that way. My proposal came out, during a quiet evening. Every single friend of mine who was proposed to in public felt it was a cliche, and the big trips are never a surprise. Better propose now, why wait? Then plan a getaway together, as your first act of making a big decision together as future husband and wife.

xxx Nov 13th, 2002 05:51 PM

Sedona's not a bad idea. I don't like the desert that much, so it wouldn't be my idea of a good place, but that's just me. The place that you're thinking of is the Enchantment.<BR><BR>Have you considered Santa Barbara? There are nearby wineries, nice weather and a beautiful coastline.

Braden Nov 13th, 2002 05:58 PM

J... because its the South lol. It isnt so much &quot;staging&quot; as consideration and making her feel special and again, ITS THE SOUTH :) But I agree a BIG trip might be too much, but something short like a weekend would be nice.

J Correa Nov 14th, 2002 07:06 AM

My husband proposed to me at a hockey game. I told him that if the Sharks won then the answer was yes. If not, we'd have to wait until they won and then we'd be officially engaged. The Sharks won and we were engaged. My mom thought it was a great proposal. My dad thought it wasn't romantic enough - LOL. To each his own I guess. <BR>

Steve Nov 14th, 2002 07:11 AM

Been to Aruba and didn't like it. Too commercialized and not very romantic. However, you will find people who love it. I think they are mostly timeshare owners.

Kat Nov 14th, 2002 07:28 AM

Bottom line, it doesn't matter. A proposal is a proposal no matter where it's done. My husband asked me to marry him while on bended knee on our kitchen floor. My engagement story is just as romantic as anyone's, BELIEVE ME! Go wherever you want...it will be a memory for life no matter what!

Jock Nov 14th, 2002 07:32 AM

ME: Just went thru this myself, this summer, we went (with our parents) as a treat to the Skamania Lodge in Washington (the state) stayed Fri, Sat Sun. Beautiful Rocky Mtn. scenery. I dropped the ring in a champagne glass during the lodge's Sunday morning champagne brunch, we had a great time and now we are planning a Carribean Wedding in May 2003. you can check their website, I think it is www.skamania.com or run a search. LOL

Lisa Nov 14th, 2002 07:45 AM

Coming from someone that would love to have her boyfriend get creative and propose like this, have you thought about a nice romantic B&amp;B maybe in Vermont or on the East Coast somewhere. Granted it won't be warm, but B&amp;Bs can have so much character and charm, making them quite romantic to pop the question after a nice meal. Im in Michigan and know of one that I would love to have the question popped at, although I know Michigan is not an exciting travel destination! Keep us informed of your decision.

TS Nov 14th, 2002 08:20 AM

As a woman, I think a proposal should not be made lightly. Only you know how what kind of person she is and what she would love. Personally, I think your idea to take her away sounds fabulous!<BR><BR>A lot of great ideas here, but since you mention Napa Valley specifically, I can tell you that it's a wonderful place for a proposal! I don't see how you could go wrong. There are a lot of B&amp;B's to stay at, many of which overlook miles of vineyards and orchards. Wonderful restaurants, including French Laundry, Tra Vigne, Brix, etc., if you wanted to do it over dinner. I just witnessed cousins of our doing it at a restaurant, and there's nothing like having the whole restaurant stand up and applaud you after she says &quot;yes!&quot; <BR><BR>If you wanted to do it during the day on a stroll through the vineyards by yourselves, here's a few places I've loved and can see having a proposal being done: Peju, V. Sattui, Coppola, Grgich, Thomas Fogarty (Calistoga), <BR><BR>I think your price range would get you pretty far, depending on how long you stayed, when you went and where you stayed. I've never stayed there because it's so close to where we live, but I've heard good things about the Oleander House and Auberge de Soleil. <BR><BR>Whatever you choose, I think it's going to be wonderful. Based on how much effort you're putting into just the proposal shows that you will have a great marriage. My DH and I are going on two years, and I can honestly say I've never been happier. Good luck!<BR> <BR>

Denise Nov 14th, 2002 08:22 AM

Wherever you decide to go, my best suggestion for you is to ask her early on in the vacation. She's likely to be suspicious all ready and is going to be waiting for every stop to be the location of the big question. And the longer you wait, the more nervous you'll become. Plus the sooner you pop the question, the longer you get to celebrate the special time!<BR><BR>Quebec City is so romantic. As close to a European city as I can imagine in North America. <BR><BR>Sedona would be a secluded setting for a relaxing vacation. And somehow it seems appropriate to say that you were engaged at the land of Enchantment. <BR><BR>Santa Barbara is also a lovely area, though I prefer Cambria (central coast of California - near Hearst Castle) a little more. Less crowded and I think the wineries in nearby Paso Robles are wonderful.<BR><BR>

gc Nov 14th, 2002 08:32 AM

Last winter, at the summit restaurant at the top of Loon Mountain in New hampshire, on a brilliant, cold winter day, a guy got on bended knee and proposed to his girlfriend .<BR><BR>It was awesome....Re-think the ski thing...

xxx Nov 14th, 2002 08:47 AM

If she's much of a skier, the top of a ski slope just isn't going to be that special for her. Nothing worse than shivering, having your nose running from the cold and have to remember this as one of the most romantic moments of your life. <BR><BR>I would be horrified to be proposed to in the middle of a restaurant. Just me, but I'd prefer it to be a private moment between just me and my guy. <BR><BR>Go someplace neither of you have been before, so the trip will only hold special memories between the two of you.<BR><BR>No matter where you choose, start booking now. Airline tickets will start booking up as will the best hotels in which ever town you choose. <BR><BR>Sedona's not a bad idea. Napa would also be nice. Santa Fe has some very nice hotels and restaurants. A small town with culture. Kind of cold thata time of year, but still so pretty.

a Nov 14th, 2002 08:53 AM

I don't know how much you make your what your ring budget is, but if you didn't atleast get a one carat diamond, I'd suggest putting the extra funds into the ring. <BR><BR>No matter where you get engaged, she'll be thrilled. Everyone asks to see the ring, but fewer people will ask her for all of the details of the engagement. <BR><BR>The ring will be something she'll wear the rest of her life, so go for the gusto and buy the best you can afford. <BR><BR>I borrowed a friend's cabin for the weekend and had a meal of her favorite dinner and dessert catered for a private meal for just the two of us. I bought a bottle of special champagne and got down on my knee and asked. A very special evening without breaking the bank. I saved the extra money and spent it on a 2 week honeymoon through Italy.

XXX Nov 14th, 2002 08:56 AM

Ben Affleck took J Lo to his old family home and had his mom decorate the place with rose pedals and candles. J Lo was swooning about the romantic moment last night on Primetime, so I guess even people with that much cash don't care where the proposal takes place. She did show off that pink diamond on her hand.

scarlett Nov 14th, 2002 09:09 AM

If you come to NYC stay in a small hotel, take her to a romantic restaurant and give her the ring during dessert. Do this the first night there! Then you can relax for the rest of the time:O)<BR>The Inn at Irving Plaza would be nice.<BR> I am from the South too. Good luck.

Debi Nov 14th, 2002 09:25 AM

You sound like my husband!! He wanted to do the perfect romantic proposal - which he did - on a gondola, at sunset, in Venice. As one of the previous posters said, do it early in the trip - not for your girlfriend, but for you. My husband was a nervous wreck - and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, I thought he was mad at me... Anyway, we spent part of our honeymoon at the Enchantment Resort in Sedona - and it really is wonderful. Sedona - as a whole - is one of my favorite places... I think there were so many great ideas - Napa Valley is beautiful, you could also try someplace like Sannibal Island in Florida, a small quaint place in Vermont would be nice, too. So many choices, so little time.... I also love New York - so there's lots of good options there that would be memorable (buggy ride in Central park, at the Plaza, etc). By the way, to show you how surprised I was when my husband proposed, as he started to get on his knew in the gondola - I thought he was getting seasick and was going to get ill..... He married me anyway!!!!

Sara Nov 14th, 2002 09:42 AM

I like the idea of it being a place neither of you have been so you remember it as special. The private cabin sounds wonderful to me. There are lots of vacation rentals (or B&amp;Bs) in wonderful places. I think southern California would be great at that time of the year. Maybe get a place on the coast (beach) close to lots to do for those days you want to get out but with a view and a fireplace you can cozy up to for those days of staying in. <BR><BR>New York is wonderful but it so busy and exhausting, if you are looking for romance maybe choose a slower place. I would think at New Years it would be especially busy too. <BR><BR>I also say do it early on so you can relax and have fun. Good luck!

Pam Nov 14th, 2002 02:00 PM

Napa is beautiful..book now though if you plan to be there for Christmas. My brther in law got down on his knees on the pedestrian walkway of the Golden Gate Bridge when he popped the question to my sister. Her first response was &quot;God,get up&quot;..however as the years go by they both continue to have fond memories of that night. From time to time someone gets them some bridge memorbilia and they still get a thrill.

Bliss Nov 14th, 2002 02:17 PM

How romantic! Don't listen to the nay-sayers. Any guy who will go to these lengths to make that moment special is a wonderful person! I suggest popping the question in Charleston, SC. It is close to you, your money will stretch further, and you can really splurge on some special extras. My husband proposed to me there with help from the now famous Sarah Ragsdale. She took us on a private tour of the city, culminating at sunset along the Ashley River at Middleton Place. She had left us to tour the house there alone and prepared a romantic setting under the Middleton Oak for him to ask me. We then had an incredibly romantic dinner at the plantation, followed by a carriage ride to the Middleton Inn for the evening. Sarah then picked us up to take us back into the city in the morning for more touring. I can't imagine a more wonderful way to be asked!

me again Nov 14th, 2002 04:02 PM

Hi Everyone!<BR>Thanks for all the help!<BR><BR>An update: I found a semi-decent airfare deal so we're flying into Oakland, Ca and out of San Francisco. We leave Atlanta on Dec. 26, returning on the morning of the 2nd.<BR><BR>I guess now I need to find a really nice place to stay. Suggestions, please! I think I'd like to split our time between the city and Napa Valley. I'm beginning to agree with many of you that I should ask early on in the trip and not wait til New Year's at midnight--I think I like the idea of proposin somewhere in the Valley better than in the hustle and bustle of the city. How hard is it to get a reservation at French Laundry?! Would there be a nice quiet spot where I could take her to watch the sunset and propose before dinner?! <BR><BR>Jon-Eric--You're suggestion almost won until I remembered we're going to be New Orleans in April for her friend's wedding.<BR><BR>To my fellow Southeners: The ideas of Charleston and Savannah were good but we both grew up around there...<BR><BR>The future groom


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