AuntAnnie

I am headed to my work holiday gathering at a co-worker's home this evening. I made little cellophane bags for the season with a decorative tin of hot chocolate mix, a box of Xmas tea, some chocolates and a package of holiday cocktail napkins in each bag. I am ready for anything!

bobrad

My Mother always said to ring the door bell with your elbow when you are invited to dinner.

abram

If I am hosting a gathering, my usual response to the question, "What can I bring?" is "your party attitude". I would NOT be happy if someone showed up with food I ws expected to serve, because I've already planned the menu, the serving dishes and where to put the food. An unexpected dish is not helpful.

On the other hand, creative hostess gifts are always appreciated. Wine is nice only if they know us well enough to be aware that I can't drink red.

I like to be sure the gift is appropriate to the person, so try to pay attention all year to offhand remarks people make. I've brought a trivet, ornaments, oven mitts, candles, hors d'oevres spreaders, a glass pitcher, milk frother, cheese labels, holiday guest towels, cake knife, note cards--all selected with the host/hostess specifically in mind.

samschack

Mikemo#39;82 Gruaud Larose? Since Gr. Larose is one of my favorite Bordeaux wines I have decided to put you at the top of our invitation list for every party we throw from now on.
I also typically take a bottle of wine to guests and it always goes over very well. A good friend of mine has labels made up that say "from the private cellar of..........." that he puts on the bottles he takes as host/hostess gifts which is also a very nice touch I think.

likeswords

Okay, maybe I'm the only one who arrives empty-handed when invited to an event after asking "What can I bring" and being told, "Nothing." I do my hosts the courtesy of interpreting "nothing" as "nothing". Sometimes, if it's a dinner, I then ask if I can bring some wine. But I don't automatically assume I HAVE to bring something, since I am aware that I personally have far too much "stuff" and don't want to burden my hosts with something they will just have to find space for. (Flowers, pre-vased, being temporary, are my exception, but I don't feel obliged to bring them.)

emd

It isn't about "having to bing something." If you feel so inclined to show appreciation for your invitation and the work that the hostess puts into it, then bring a hostess gift. I entertain a lot and have received very nice and creative hostess gifts- a bottle of wine (once with a nice box of "chardonnay herbs" for cooking attached to it- very thougthful), chocolates, a small serving dish for candy or nuts, a nice candle, etc. But of course, you should not feel compelled to give a hostess gift if you are not so inclined, like likeswords. But likeswords, when your hostess or host replies "nothing" to your question of what to bring, I think they are saying don't feel inclined to bring food that needs to be served at the event. I do not think you should delude yourself into thinking that they are replying "nothing" to a hostess gift that you might choose to bring for them. A gift is a gift, not something asked for or expected. That is separate from what you mean when you ask "what can I bring?", which means food.

pollyvw

I was taught that whenever I'm invited to someone's home, I should knock with my elbows...meaning...I should have something in my hands for the hostess.

amwosu

Sometimes I give a Calgon Take Me Away bag with a box of Calgon and the sample/trial size of Calgon lotion and spray, a candle, a single serve bottle of champagne and a magazine like Oprah, More, Health or InStyle.

So many people are trying to watch their weight and having a box of chocolates around is sooooo tempting.

Maggi

Does the recipient then send thank-you notes for all the little host/hostess gifts?

christy1

In my circle of friends, if the host says bring nothing, it means bring nothing. If you feel like bringing something anyway, wine or chocolates are good. I STRONGLY disagree with those who suggest bringing an actual gift like a photo frame, candles or potted plant, especially if you aren't confident you know the host's taste. There are few of us that need another piece of clutter in our house, and don't we all already have drawers full of these types of gifts that we don't want?

virginia

i like to bring guest soaps or towels (paper) or cocktail napkins, a tiny dried arrangement or a pair of candles. or chocolate!
jj5 love you mini spice pack from your yard idea. i am inspired.
maggi,no - no thank you cards. well unless someone brings something brillant... but thats a whole other discussion

Cali

I have severe allergies and asthma so unfortunately when one of my well meaning friends brings something for the bath - soaps, bath gel, etc. I end up having to give it away and I feel bad but my health just can't tolerate it. It has made me more aware of things others can't have (such as liquor for someone with an alcoholic in the family) and I usually do candy or a plant or during the Holidays often an collector ornament or something like that. It does help if you know your hostesses tastes. I know I appreciate anything some gives me, even if it is something I am uable to use because of my asthma - they meant well.

grantop

Don't bring "tchotches" - no one needs more clutter for the garage sale. A small floral arrangement or something you KNOW the person will enjoy after the guests have gone (special bottle of wine, wine & cheese basket, selection of gourmet coffees, etc).

Intrepid1

Bring whatever you feel is appropriate..one person's tchotche is another one's dream come true sometimes..depends on what it is IMO.

Never arrive at anyone's home "empty-handed" and you will reap many, many rewards.

Yeah, and please, bring some WHITE wine instead of all that red.

Dreamer2

I subsribe to the notion of disposable gifts. Anything that can be used up is good: paper napkins, note pads, flowers, soaps, chocolates, wine... I bring this little something regardless of whether or not I'm bringing a dish, appetizer, dessert for the evening. Except for very close family/friends, I suspect this is the norm for proper etiquette. Of course, any of the above could harm someone with sensitivities to sweets, allergies, alcohol, etc. But you have to bring something, and they can give it away later, if necessary. Well, I guess that does leave "paper" as an option!
(Bobrad, very cute! )

AnnMarie_C

There's a difference between someone offering to bring something to dinner, brunch, etc. and bringing an unexpected gift. When a guest offers to bring something it's always a specific offer--can I bring a desert, salad, etc. not a question of can I bring you a gift--for if they did I would have to answer, yes--a shiny new car with a big red bow ;-) I never expect someone I invite to arrive with a gift--if they do I think it's a very nice touch but I have plenty of friends who arrive giftless and that's okay, too. I'm just all too happy they showed up!

joan

"tchotche"
I got a gift just from this thread!
I always wondered what that word looked like. Thanks!

elizabeth_reed

I like to give a little box of notecards. No pressure for the host to do anything with the gift at the moment received. I suspect they can use them up even if it's not the style they'd choose for themself.

GBelle

No offense, but I believe the spelling is
tchotchke

GoTravel

Oops! My poor spelling got everyone on the wrong foot.

There are also other ways to spell tchotchke as the translation is fuzzy. Kind of like the spelling of hanukkah.