klam: I have to agree with you. On average, I spend $100 - $200 on a wedding gift. Asking guests to spend $$ on airline, hotel, car rental & meals is asking a LOT.

Airfare and accommodations might be a moot point anyway, because guests frequently do have to travel to a wedding and stay over for 1 night, unless it is local to them. <BR><BR>The bride and groom are on the west coast and the parents are on the east coast. Where are the friends and the rest of the relatives? <BR><BR>The bride and groom should pick a location where they want to get married. It really isn't up to the guests to decide, but I think the date, in general, although romantic, is a bad date. Besides year end obligations that some people have for work, most people are tapped out financially at the end of December after buying holiday gifts. Also, a lot of people travel long distances to visit family members over the holidays too, which may incur additional airfare, etc. Now the guests will be further burdened to pay for travel and accommodations to a wedding destination for most likely more than one night. And then there is the gift ... Just thinking about this is giving me a headache.<BR><BR>Go with small, intimate and elegant, either on the west coast where the couple lives (and probably where most of the friends are), or the east coast where the parents are.

No blood test needed in NY either. Just and FYI. MA is the only state that still requires one.

Some suggestions: Lake Tahoe, Maui on the beach, Key West, Bahamas...

My sister and brother-in-law got married on New Year's Eve. And while it seemed romantic at the time, they've been celebrating their anniversary a few days early or later for the past several years. To celebrate on their actual anniversary would mean dealing with large crowds and more expensive dinners. So while it seems like a good idea for the wedding, in the long run it may be a lot less romantic.

Remember, Myrna already said the attendees would be only parents and a few close friends. They're talking a small, intimate wedding to begin with.<BR><BR>Europe, the blood tests were initially done for a venereal disease. Today, they would probably include a test for HIV just to be on the safe side. But each place, no matter where it is, will have their own requirements. I have friends who got married in Scotland 10+ years ago. They had to determine the requirements ahead of time to be appropriately prepared. The same would apply anywhere. The couple will have to do their homework to make sure they are adequately prepared.

Thanks everyone for the replies. Let me clarify the question. They do want something small with just parents and close friends. When my son was married the first time in LA, only my husband and I, my parents (who are now deceased) and an uncle, who is now 90 and cannot travel, came to the wedding from the east coast. My brother and brother in law and their respective families did not go because it was cost prohibitive for them. Therefore, I am assuming only the parents, and maybe her siblings will go to the wedding this time. That is why I asked for any location. Someone is going to have to travel. The bride and groom don't care about traveling because they would do so anyway for a honeymoon. The family is going to have to travel where ever the wedding is also.<BR><BR>From being attendants in weddings before, and knowing that shower gifts, wedding gifts, brides maids gowns, bachlor parties, etc is costly, they were hoping the guests would spend that money on themselves and put it toward the vacation/wedding trip. <BR>Basically, they wanted a little vacation for about 10-15 people where they could also get married. <BR><BR>Thanks for the advise on the blood tests and the divorce dates. I'll pass that on. But I still need location suggestions. Thanks everyone.<BR>

I agree with some other posters - if it is really important to them that East Coast relatives attend, then how about forgetting the vacation part and finding a driving-distance resort type place or very nice hotel near parents. Could be more specific if I knew where on east coast. I genuinely believe their intent is wonderful, but family, no matter how close, might not feel as warm and fuzzy towards a wedding vacation, even if the cost was the same. I have learned the hard way that vacations are an extremely personal choice and when shared (with other than spouse and perhaps minor children), rarely live up to "family reunion" expectations.

Here are some suggestions: New York City, Quebec City, Vancouver, Charleston, SC, Key West, Vermont, Chicago.

Sandi,<BR>Do you have any specific recommendations for the cities you suggested. Other than the obvious appeal for sightseeing, is there something specific you can recommend for the wedding celebration. Thanks everyone who are answering.

Myrna-If you want me to give you more information and plan you wedding I will be more than happy to for a fee. You can contact me at the above email address.

Sandi, I'm curious. Are you actually a professional wedding planner, or are you just tired of Myrna's ongoing questioning?

As with any wedding, the question to start with is whether the couple's needs and desires come first or whether they want to be thoughtful of guests. Nine times out of 10, the couple gets an attack of "it's OUR day, everyone else has to dance to our tune" and if your son and fiance are thinking that way, why bother to make suggestions when they are going to do what they want to, anyway?<BR><BR>HOWEVER, if they are serious about trying to be thoughtful about their guests, consider the following points:<BR><BR>1. Any Tuesday wedding means travellers will have to stay over the previous or following Sat. night. <BR><BR>2. It's Xmas/New Years/Hanukkah, etc. That means travel over the entire period will be horrendous. And a New Year's Eve wedding means dealing with New Year's Eve. Frankly, I'd MUCH rather be at a wedding on NY's Eve than at some stick-it-out-til-midnight brawl --no problem with that, sounds nice -- but there's still the question of traffic, accommodations, etc.<BR><BR>3. Someone's going to have to travel, no matter what. Who should it be? Turn the question upside down: for whom would travel be the most difficult? Take into account age, number of connections needed (going through Chicago or Denver or Ft. Worth in the middle of the holidays in the winter is a very dicey proposition), as well as whether anyone would like to spend any "extra" time in the area of the wedding.<BR><BR>4. Where is the honeymoon? If the couple is willing to have the ceremony on the East Coast, it's an easy hop to the Caribbean or Europe. If they are committed to Hawaii or Tahiti, best stay in L.A. but ...<BR><BR>5. They don't have to have wedding and family "reception" the same day in the same place, esp. since it's the 2nd go-around. They can get married anytime and then have the family celebration at a time when travel is less onerous and at a place everyone finds convenient. <BR><BR>This is what we did. We were married in our own city in Oct. with close, local friends around and my mother (for whom travel is easy), and had a New England honeymoon. Then we had a family reception in my husband's midwestern hometown on the Sat. after Thanksgiving for those who couldn't make it to the wedding, esp. his grandmother, who was frail. We had a great time but didn't feel we'd had to give up our own wedding-honeymoon plans. <BR><BR>They probably won't listen to you, let alone a "Helpful Hannah" stranger, but you might run that by them.

Judy-I was being facetious. I am tired of her endless questions. There are tons of sites on the internet for wedding planning or talk to a travel agent who specializes in destination weddings.

Sandi, no one is forcing you to read this thread. Don't read it. A destination wedding is travel-related.

Leslie-Myrna has had more than enough suggestions here. She keeps asking questions for locations and other things that only a wedding planner can help her with. Her constant nagging is grating and pushing the legitimate travel questions down to the bottom.<BR><BR>This is not a wedding site! There are tons of sites on the internet for planning a wedding. Brides magazine has one as well....

Hi Myrna: We got married at a B & B in Calistoga, CA. It was perfect: small, intimate and very personal. We then went to a great restaurant for dinner. Wine Country is a great place to get married because there are so many things for visitors to do there if they make the long trek, and so many great restaurants. You could also try San Fran.

ttt

My vote is for Las Vegas. You can go as fun, tacky, or elegant as you want. We had both a traditional family wedding and a Vegas wedding. Hands down the Vegas wedding was our favorite. Planning was ultra easy and we had plenty of choices.

Suggestions: New York City, Napa Valley, Palm Springs, Carmel, San Diego, Florida Keys, Kauai, Maui, Aspen, Breckenridge, Vail, Las Vegas.