I hate to be judgmental and usually say to each his own, but I think it's nice when people dress up for nice places and it makes you feel like you are somewhere special. Plus I think people who are dressed nicely tend to exhibit more manners and decorum at functions. Of course, if you are at a Chiles or someplace not so upscale, dressing casual is ok. The place and/or the occasion should dictate your attire. However, unless you are a homeless person and can't help it, I don't think being dirty looking or having clothes that look like you just rolled out of bed are ever appropriate. I hate all the dirty rubber flipflops that everyone seems to wear everywhere and those stupid pajama pants - the ones that really are pajamas. And you don't have to have a lot of money to be clean and look nice. It's just about giving a damn. If you are really that unwilling to dress or at least look clean - just order in! :)

<i>Plus I think people who are dressed nicely tend to exhibit more manners and decorum at functions. </i>

I display very good manners when I'm out in public, and I hardly ever dress up.

Patrick, there's a huge difference between what one is wearing (e. g. jeans or sneakers in a fancy resturant) and what one is doing (talking loudly on a cell phone in the same restaurant). The latter invades other people's &quot;space&quot;; the former just invades their mindset. If I exhibit good manners, and don't invade anyone's space, I fail to see how it's their business how I'm dressed. (P.S. Being dressed in dressy clothes doesn't mean being dressed attractively -- I'd personally rather see someone in lovely casual clothes than ugly dressy clothes).

I do agree with TxTravelPro - no toes and no armpits (I have a personal &quot;thing&quot; against men in tank tops).

I understand that people don't care to &quot;dress for others&quot;, but I just think it's really ridiculous to go to a very nice restaurant in the same clothing one might wear to Cosco or clean out the garage.

What to wear comes up all the time on the travel forums. I think most people just want to be assured that they can get away with whatever they have in mind.

And, I don't believe the &quot;comfortable&quot; excuse. It's possible to be &quot;comfortable&quot; in better looking attire, especially shoes.

The French Laundry required, when we went there for an evening meal, jackets for men. It was a warm evening, so we arrive in jackets and immediatly take them off to drape them over the back of the seat. Does that make sense?

Yes.

I grew up wearing coat and tie to school every day, for any church service and,it seemed, any occasion that was celebrated indoors. In HS detention was handed out for the grievous infraction of wearing a tie deemed not in good taste. In the military, other than during tactical training or operations, I wore class A's or civilian suit and tie on duty. (Let's not talk about the white polyester leisure suit- it WAS the 70's)
When I moved from DC to San Antonio my SA friends sat and chatted as I unpacked. As I took a handful, maybe a dozen or so, of ties out of a bag one of the friends asked &quot;What's that?&quot; &quot;Ties&quot;, I replied. &quot;Yes, I know they are ties, but why would anyone need so many?&quot; At that moment I knew I would love living in SA.

I live in S. CA where casual has been in for years but I agree it is getting too casual. I have been to many weddings and funerals lately where many attendees look like they are going to work on their lawn or cars. I find the women do a better job of dressing appropriately at these events and I wonder how some of these couples could even be together - do they realize they are going to the same event? I also find many of the people working in the stores are so casual that I can't even tell who is working there and who is shopping. I do think the East Coast is dressier than here.

Someone comapred loud talking and cell phones to dressing comfortably. And that your dress is for the benefit of all.

So are you suggesting, I take a survey of the other diners to determine if I am dressed correctly? Sir, does this tie match my suit or the draperies? No, I guess I should I leave.

To me wearing expensive clothing and jewelry, scream look at me I have money. I hope they do not sit next to me. Ostentatious behavior is a true sign of poor breeding. In fact, nobilty were once beheaded for such offenses.

Conformity is a moving target.

I Live in a country where people don't even dress up for a funeral (really - they go in jeans or whatever they normally would wear), or for weddings for the most part.
I enjoy the odd occasion to get get dolled up and feminine, with my smart suited and booted man by my side.
But if I go to a restaurant and the folks at the next table are wearing jeans I don't object. I am there for the company at my table and for the food.
I feel the same in a way about concerts and plays - at least people are going to these things. If you put a dress code in place it will put a lot of (younger?) people off going, which would be a shame.

hmmmm &quot;dressing down&quot;..perhaps the ultimate definition of &quot;hip&quot; for some

No, Audchamp, someone didn't &quot;compare&quot; dress to talking on cell phones&quot;. &quot;Someone&quot; merely pointed out that when you said you don't do things for the benefit of other diners you were WRONG. At least this someone HOPES you were wrong, as I hope that you DO lower your voice, turn off your cell phone, or don't talk loudly on it. Those things you ARE doing for the benefit of others. Just pointing that out. So if some people do have concerns for other diners, then they might consider not making other diners in a really fine and expensive restaurant uncomfortable by sitting near them unshowered or in ratty clothes, looking like they belonged participating in an athletic event or at a picnic. If you don't care to, that's fine. That's your privilege. Just as you can choose not to lower your voice or show manners at all when in a public place.

Is that any clearer?

Is this the problem?
&quot;<i>To me wearing expensive clothing and jewelry, scream look at me I have money. I hope they do not sit next to me. Ostentatious behavior is a true sign of poor breeding. In fact, nobilty were once beheaded for such offenses.</i>
Do some people see getting dressed in clothes other than a tee and jeans , wearing &quot;expensive clothes&quot;? Unless of course they are Seven jeans or something like that lol...

I think the casual trend in the US did get a little carried away. I have a friend whose husband wears a suit to work every day, it feels normal to him to wear one out to a nice restaurant .. My son has to wear them, ( he, like Seamus grew up wearing them in schoold too) so he loves his tee shirts and jeans, but adapts to the occasion...a friend in Fl looks horrified when he is told he has to wear a suit..
So I guess it all really boils down to an idividuals comfort levels and what they are used to.
Not what they can afford.

Ladies are lucky, we all like to dress up :)

Eating asparagus with one's fingers is perfectly acceptable, unless it is heavily buttered or sauced. Taking it off someone else's plate with one's fingers is not. The woman should have moved it to her own plate with her fork and knife, then used her fingers, always assuming that you find it acceptable to share food in a restaurant. In many countries, they do not.

For the life of me, I cannot understand why the dress or behavior of someone else could have the slightest impact on my enjoyment of a meal, concert or any other event.

I dress the way that makes me comfortable, which is probably slightly more formal than the norm, but certainly not like I did when I was in the business world and &quot;Dressed to impress&quot;.

As long as they are not taking food from my plate, I could not care less if they used hands or feet for that matter, to take from theirs.

&quot;Ladies are lucky, we all like to dress up.&quot;

Oh, Scarlett, how quickly you forget! I know you used to live in Florida. Surely you used to see many women who clearly did not like to &quot;dress up&quot;. Sometimes they are far worse than the men!

&lt;&lt;&quot;But if I go to a restaurant and the folks at the next table are wearing jeans I don't object. I am there for the company at my table and for the food.&quot;&gt;&gt;

hetis,
That's exactly how I feel.
I dress for DH or whomever I'm dining with. We may even go as far as asking each other what they're wearing to be on the same page when going with a group.

Part of the ritual (if you will) with DH is to not see each other until dressed and ready to leave so that we can enjoy seeing what we've done to ourselves.

Guess we make a big deal out of things like talking about the place we got the necklace that I may be wearing and obsessing about the food and wine, etc.

If someone walks by who's amazingly attired we may talk about that (or if someone is wearing something hideous, i.e. bolts permanently attached into their neck, etc. we'll gossip),
otherwise we usually don't notice.

As for jeans, if we're going to a hip restaurant, I may wear dress jeans with a stylish blouse and great heels.

It seems some people's defintion of dressing down is restricted to the tone of their argument.

I understand I am an inferior being but I am comfortable and not a slave to the caprice of others.

<i>bolts permanently attached into their neck, etc. we'll gossip), </i>

Oh boy would you have plenty of dinner table discussion if you were in Portland Oregon :D

Just curious. For those who have absolutely no feeling regarding the dress of others --
if YOU were having a wedding -- a huge and very expensive formal one with very expensive catered reception -- and a couple arrived in t-shirts, tattered shorts, and flip flops -- are you honestly saying it wouldn't bother or affect you at all?

Maybe I'm funny, but I would consider it a display of bad manners and lack of respect, just as I'd consider such dress at an expensive restaurant the same thing.

Although I guess from some responses, there's no reason in the world for me to be surprised that some people are not bothered in the least by a total lack of manners or respect.

Scarlett,
Wow, here I thought I was over- dramatizing.
Are those bolts functional or strictly decorative - perhaps they can hang themselves up by the bolts to dry to save towels, LOL.