Since Sept. 11 I have no hope in ever flying again. Yes, I know what people out there say to not let "them" win, that if people think like this they have won this pshycological war, one can die at any time or any place. However, no matter what people say I don't think I will ever be able to get on a plane and this hurts me. I have been to eight countries in Europe and I was returning in two months for my honeymoon and then all this happen. Anyone else feels this pessimistic????

I think the world and mostly, our perspective of the world has definetely changed. It doesn~t mean, though, that you are safer home than you would be flying. To me, what changed is the perception that safety is illusiory, and that we all, regardless where we live, are vulnerable. <BR> <BR>Other than this, all traumas take some time to being overcome. Allow yourself some time, and you will likely get used the this new world. <BR> <BR>Regards, <BR> <BR>Surlok <BR> <BR>

Thanks Surlok. I will keep your words in mind everytime thoughts like these cross my mind.

xxx, <BR> <BR>I think also that this thought " to not let them win" is the wrong mind set. I agree that terrorism currency is fear, the target is getting everybody frightened by one single terrorist act, but living permanently under a state of fear is not living at all. So, getting over it shall not be done(only) for the sake of fighting terrorism, but for ourselves, for the sake of our mental sanity. <BR> <BR>In countries where terrorist acts are normal and happen all the time, people get used to them sooner or later, and live their normal lives despite terrorism. <BR> <BR>Surlok

Of all the comments made since September 11, the one that has made the most sense to me was uttered by U.S. Rep. McDermott from the State of Washington, who is also a psychiatrist. His comment, made a few days after the attack, was that perhaps the most significant effect of the terrorism is that we Americans have lost our "sense of security."

"XXX" -- some things will never be "normal" again, but some aspects of normalcy very much needed to change anyway. If I start listing them, I'll draw all kinds of indignant fire, but let's just say a "wake-up call" was overdue. <BR> <BR>You sound young (about to embark on your honeymoon?) -- what life will bring you is a series of waves and troughs of big change, slow change, good things, and terribly sad or scary things. <BR> <BR>Once you marry, life will never be the same, but that is supposed to be a Good Thing. Once you have children, life is never the same. While having a child is a Good Thing generally -- I can't imagine life without mine and I am daily so terrribly grateful to know him -- you will also become more vulnerable to fear and pain on his behalf than you can now possibly imagine on your own behalf. <BR> <BR>Things were never the same after the telephone, the radio, the train, the press, the car, the atomic bomb, Hitler, Walter Cronkite, and Shakespeare. Some changes come slowly, some come suddenly. <BR> <BR>I am emotionally as pessimistic as you are, but intellectually I think that things will settle into a new pattern of economics and security and politics for a while, then something will change again. Might be terrifying. Might be positive. <BR> <BR>Get used to change. It's the only sure thing. But keep in mind that generally good change happens slowly and bad change can be very sudden. It's just how things work.

First: I would like to say, I have never seen any post, with anything from Surlock, that was not appropriate. She has responded, kindly, to questions that I have posted. Thank you, Surlock, I appreciate your kindness to me. <BR>Next, the issue at hand, We have in fact, lost the 'illusion, of security' things won't be the same, but, we must continue living our lives. I can understand not wanting to travel, ever again. But, I am going to, for I just, have to. It isn't a matter of 'not letting the terrorists win' it is just something, I have to do, for me. <BR>Travelling has become a real love of mine, and I can't give it up.

First of all, things will never be as they were before 9/11. Don't expect them to be. As someone posted on this board right after it happened. We will collectively get a new sense of what "normal" is as we gradually adjust to the horrible events that occured. <BR> <BR>In terms of risk, you statistically at greater risk when you drive to work then when you board a plane. <BR> <BR>The threat of these types of terrorists activities have been around for years. If you had travelled on September 10th, it could be argued that you were just as at risk as you would be on September 12 the simple fact is, you did not know it. <BR> <BR>I admit that I too, have been terrified, and travel is my greatest love. I have even experienced nightmares lately about, not only flying, but of a thousand other things the terrorists "could" do. <BR> <BR>If you feel that these fears will hold you back from fulfilling lifelong dreams then you may seriously consider speaking to a counciller, sometimes it helps to speak to a professional. You are not crazy, nor a coward and I am sure a LOT of people out there feel the same way. But if you really feel that your behavior will be dictated by fear then if for nothing else but your own piece of mind you should speak to a professional. I am planning on doing so.. just to help me talk through some of the things that are waking me up in the middle of the night. I wish you good luck and success... as said above, give yourself some more time, as well.

xxx, sorry to hear you feel that way, but bear in mind that it's only been a little over a month since the tragic events of September 11th, and the passage of time is usually a great healer, so I hope you eventually find the courage within yourself to fly once again. Good luck!

To xxx: <BR> <BR>I know exactly how you feel. The advice above is wonderful and intellectually, a can totally agree, but I still feel so sad that the "fun" has gone out of flying for me. I am a student in France, and my friends and family all live in the US. My sister phoned me crying after the Sept. 11 attacks, and she kept saying that the world got bigger that day. And she felt that I got further away. I guess that is what really makes me sad, the world used to get smaller every year as airfares dropped prices, and more and more routes began to appear to far off exotic places that I used to dream of as a child. The world got bigger that day. I don't feel free to come and go anywhere in the world (I know that sound naive but I used to FEEL free) Now I feel fear. I had to cancel a visit to my family scheduled for early October because I was still afraid. And now I can not bring myself to rebook the flight when I hear of Anthrax etc. I used to feel like America was somehow too big, too strong, too faraway from it all to be HIT in a catastrophic way. Now I believe that anything can happen, anywhere. The threat was from within all the time. I know, Surlock, it was a "perceived" sense of security before, but if noone hears a tree falling in the woods, does it matter that it fell? With "senses" like security, humour, well- being etc. , perception IS the reality. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!