Hi gogo

Have you had the discussion yet? How did it go?

We too are in the talking stages of planning a trip to Europe. My friend and I would like to go on ahead for a week and then meet up with the guys for another week or two. I have already mentioned that they should go up the Jungfrau and to the Louvre without us since we have slready done those a few times and do not care to do them again, but certainly do not wish to hold them back at all. These suggestions have been accepted so I am optimistic. My next step is to discuss some of the other suggestions and see how they go over. Thanks everyone for all the helpful advice - this will certainly open the door to a healthy start.

We tried it with a couple we liked, sorta, but the trip was a disaster, as they never wanted to cooperate in anything, and would make a commitment to do something, then change mind at last minute, had to eat on 'their' schedule, and they were totally inflexible, which doesn't work when you are travelling. My thought would be to be sure you know them pretty well before you commit to this.

Even when you know them well...it can be a disaster. Discuss all plans in greatest detail in advance. Get plans in writing if going to certain sights is important to you, and most important, have it set up so you can spend time apart. All that said, we did a long trip to Japan with another couple, did not do the above thoroughtly and it was great. But we had another trip with a very, very close couple and did not speak after the trip for a year.

Friends whose trip I've planned would like me to meet them in Venice and do a little tour-guiding. I think it sounds like fun, but only for a few days. If I do this, I plan to spend a couple of days taking in the Biennale, and maybe another town, and meet up with them before or after my own adventures.

We did the same thing on a trip to Positano, and it worked well.

We stayed in a hotel and did several things together, but they were on their own before and after the meet up, as were we.

We invited our neighbors to come to Italy with us after they had been through a very difficult time. While we stayed in a two bedroom, two bath apartment in Florence, it was great. It was a little more difficult in a country villa with one car. I still resent the husband's refusal to go to vespers at San Antimo. He didn't like churches. We thought it would be too upsetting to take the car and leave them in the middle of nowhere.

And my own DH did not behave as well as I would have liked. He was grumpy a few times, and lost his temper after getting lost driving into Rome. I was embarrassed and so were they.

All in all, we like to be on our own best.

We shared an apartment with my brother in Paris this winter and it went well. But we flew on different days from different cities, each person went off to do whatever they felt like, and we did some preplanned things together. It was quite nice, really. The only fly in the ointment was DH, again. He was rather grumpy on a couple of occasions.

Basically, I do better than he does when traveling with others. He is a bit of a loner and really only tolerates my company, or that of DD and SIL, really well.

My cousin and I are planning a family trip to Paris in a couple of years, taking my DD and her little ones, but I am not sure I want DH to come. If he does, I'm making him take a vow of good behavior, with a serious penalty if he screws up. Maybe he'll have to buy me something really nice in Paris.

You've had some great advice on this thread. I can only reinforce what I have found to be the most successful strategy for travelling with friends. It is: each couple devise your own itinerary within the overall confines of the destination. Where the 2 itineraries match, do these things together. Where they don't, agree to do things apart. Avoid pressure along the lines of "Aw c'mon, come with us, you'll love it." The cost of overseas tripping is such as to make compromise a no-no. Each must do what each must do. It worries me that the other couple is saying "Anything you do will be fine with us." That puts pressure on you to make it good for THEM. That ain't fair!