He/She wouldn't say shi* if he had a mouthfull!!!

One I've always found amusing is: "It does/doesn't make my socks go up and down." LOL

Hells bells and cockleshells ????

My sister, a german student, likes to repeat what she says is a German saying, "I only know train station," which she translates loosely as "It's all Greek to me." For some reason, this saying amuses her greatly, but invariably, we look at her and say "Huh?" If indeed this is a German saying, some nuisance is missing in the translation. I always smile weakly when she says it, and then I change the subject.

Anyone ever heard of that saying in Germany?

"Deer guts" reminds me of one in Indiana from my youth. "Slicker than snake snot on a glass doorknob."

'This is like being nibbled to death by ducks.'

As a feeder of three cats, I can tell you that you do not herd them from the back, you lead them from the front. Try a bowl of kibble or electric can opener in front of the carriers.

The Canadian version of one brick short of a load usually involves something like 'one beer short of a six-pack'.

Nothing to write home about!
and
Dumber than a door nail.

"Don't let the door hit ya
where the good Lord split ya" :)
A military saying...."all ate up" as in "he's all ate up"..

for Patrick:
A half bubble off plumb.

There's more than one way to skin a cat. ick!!

You can't beat that with a stick.

Colder than a witch's t*t in a hailstorm.

He is so low, you have to pull down his socks to see him.

Dpon't know if these phrases are just British or more international:

"She had a face like a bag of spannners"
(actually means "she wasn't very happy")

And admiring an attractive member of the opposite sex:
"You wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crisps"

I like "dumber than a box of rocks" myself, and "if his IQ were any lower they'd have to water him twice a week." Both came my way courtesy of Molly Ivins, from the great state of Texas.

" He's/She's so narrow minded, he/she can peep through a key hole with both eyes at once. "

Here's one more: Your so skinny that you need to jump around in the shower to get wet.

Apologizing in advance for the scatalogical content of some of favorite sayings!
"Built like a brick sh*thouse"
"Fine as frogs' hair"
"Knee-high to a grasshopper"
and my very favorite, incredibly descriptive expletive.....
"Sh*t on a stick with sugar on it!"

Oh, just thought of another one, courtesy of a Liverpudlian pal:

Said of a very moody person "With him/her it's always up, down, up, down - just like a bride's nightie!"

Righty-ho, Pat, you are correct. Grace Poole is Berthe Rochester's gaoler in "Jane Eyre." It has been donkey's years since I have heard my aunt use that expression, but whilst travelling from Philadelphia to New York via train, I did hear a woman use a similar expression. She was saying to her husband, "Keep at it, Colin, and up to the nursery you go with Grace Poole." I burst out laughing. The woman looked at me and said, "My dear man, you are either British or a teacher because no one in this country gets that one."

"I've seen better legs on a piano."

From the South:
"Higher than a Georgia pine" (someone who's drunk)

"I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eatin' crackers" (someone handsome)

"Plime (plumb) blank" as in "She's plime blank like her daddy" (i.e. she's the spitting image)

"Crazier than a woodrat."

"Country as cornbread."

"Sweatin' like a whore in church."

"Slicker than a greased pig."

"Ain't worth the powder to blow his brains out."

"Sky's blacker than pitch."

"Dumber than a coal bucket."

"It's raining like a cow pissing on a rock."

"Rougher than a (corn) cob." (in reference to when corn cobs were used in lieu of toilet paper at the outhouse but means someone who has a rough manner)

"Can't hear thunder." (someone who's deaf)

"She'd do it if it harelipped Texas (or the governor)." (someone who's stubborn)

"As independent as a pig on ice." (again, someone's who's stubborn)

"Now that dog won't hunt." (what you've just said doesn't make sense)

"If it had been a snake it would've bit you." (looking for something that's right in front of you)

"Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs."



And I'm still mulling this one:
"Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" (someone who's insincere)