Thingorjus - isn't Grace Poole the guardian of Mr. Rochester's mad wife in "Jane Eyre"? What a job!

For Patrick : " He's/She's one fry short of a Happy Meal " or " The wheel's turning but the hamsters dead "

Also for Patrick: The lights are on but nobody's home. I think the cheese slid off his cracker.

And I always liked: She lies like a rug.

And one I've come to use frequently when dealing with some of my clients: It's like herding cats.

A friend always refers the things as a "goat rodeo" when trying to get a lot of people to do the same thing.

For all you youngsters, "Don't let the bed bugs bite," is literal. When I was a child (granted that was a while ago), Mom would pull the mattress from our bed, take it outside and sun it. We kids would search for bed bugs (small, red bugs that lived in the mattress edge. The did come out and bite at night!

In Britain, one is "Taking the mickey" out of someone else when they are "pulling their leg."

St. Cirq, I love the line "It's like herding cats". Unfortunately, I use it quite often as well. "Kangaroos loose in the top paddock"!! HAHA... I'll have to try that one in a meeting soon.

I thought I'd heard all the ones like I was talking about, and most of the additions I'm familiar with, but Mathieu, that dead hamster one has me rolling!!!

Oh, and "better than sliced bread". What's that supposed to mean anyway?

I always liked
" he was all over her like a cheap suit"

Bob's your uncle!

Patrick

I think you're thinking of something being described as "the best thing since sliced bread".

I assume this refers to what people, probably housewives (at that time), thought about this new product. They were the ones who until then would have had to slice the loaves themselves.

"Lower than a snakes belly in a wheel rut".....but even lower than that is:
"lower than whale s**t".

I think the souther U.S. takes the prize for funniest epressions. One of my favorites, overheard in western NC..."God willing and the creek don't rise."

My favorites

Don't insult 7 guys if you only have a 6-shooter.

Don't throw rocks at someone with a machine gun.

As a Texan, I heard "God willin' and the creek don't rise" as long as I can remember. Another favorite: Slicker than deer guts on a doorknob.

And, also for Patrick: two tacos short of a Mexican (plate) special. And one I made up in honor of a family member: Two steps short of a 12-step program.

This is a fun break from a monotonous Monday! Here are a few from my restaurant days:

...I've seen better hair on a coconut.

...I've seen better legs on a table.

...I've seen more pleasant faces on poison bottles

...I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

...he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel!

Strive

Oh, heck, if it's Americanisms:

"Don't let your mouth write no check your ass can't cash."

Another Texas one, "Don't come to a gun fight with a knife."

From Henny Youngman:

"I told my grandson over and over feet first when you get out of bed!!"

Couple of expressions that make me go hmmm....

Dressed to Beat the Band

It's the Cat's Pajamas