Poll: Married women traveling solo
 

Hello,
I'm just curious to know how many married women out there who has traveled specifically to Europe ALONE leaving husband/kids behind or about to embark in this exciting journey.
Which country and for how long? your good/bad experiences?

My husband has only two weeks a year while I get about five weeks so I am in the process of planning a solo trip. I've traveled with a tour group last year and spent 1/2 time by myself, this time I would like go alone.
thanks!

I'm planning a solo trip or possibly with one neighbor for February 2005. I also have much more vacation time and the thought of just worrying about one person instead of 3 or 4 is wonderful!

Count me in. I have done this every year for the last several years for the following reasons:

1. He has only 2 weeks vacation, and I have 4.

2. He likes travelling, but does not have the passion for it that I have. He would be much happier breaking up his 2 weeks vacation into several long weekends througout the year so he can go fishing.

3. He would go nuts if he had to save up all 2 weeks and use it at once, instead of taking off a few days here and there. Back in the days when I only had 2 weeks vacation/year, I was happy to save up my time for a big trip.

DH and I have acknowledged these differences and agreed to do our own thing for major vacations, although we go on at least one trip a year together, even if it's a short one. Next year will be a little different, as he says he wants to go to the UK in 2005. I hope this comes to pass, but if he changes his mind, I will be off to Europe again on my own.

You asked which country, well, there are too many to name. My experiences have been good, but my only regret is that I hate eating dinner alone. I'm OK with breakfast or lunch solo, but not dinner. For dinner I often take food back to the hotel room, or go to an outdoor cafe so I can watch the world go by while waiting for my food.

I have no kids, BTW.

I'm married with two children, don't know if this qualifies... I've gone to Europe several times with a friend or my mother. My husband stays home to care for the kids. We take family vacations, too, but I really enjoy my trips to Europe without the family. I say go for it!

I went to Holland and Germany one year for two weeks alone. It was great. We generally go to Europe once a year together and those are great trips but my two weeks alone were very special. I did things I would never do with my DH (like going to mass at the Mainz cathedral.) The best part is doing exactly what you want to do when you want to do it. Next year I am going to the Christmas markets. I can't figure out who I would want to travel with so I'm going solo. (If I had any doubts about this, reedpaints' experience in Italy confirmed my plans.) Life is good. CJ

Not exactly alone but since I have a girlfriend who lives in Europe I have gone over twice without my husband. Once for 2 weeks and once for 5 days.

I'm married, no kids, one dog and one and three quarter cats.

I travel often in Scotland on my own, and I've been to Spain, and Belgium sand spouse.

it's fun and liberating

I've recently returned from a solo trip to US, Ireland, Europe and Greek Islands, leaving my husband, two kids and dog at home. I had an absolute ball. I did what I wanted to, not wasting precious time waiting for decisions to be made on what to eat or deciding on places to go. I was a free spirit for 7 weeks. Not once did I feel frightened or threatened, or even lonely. The hardest part was trying to manage my luggage which had tripled in size toward the end of my trip, or people that I met raising their eyebrows at me because I was a married woman travelling alone. Most people admired my courage, others thought I was crazy.

If you ask any experienced traveler, s/he will tell you: never take on a trip anything you can't afford to lose. So I leave my priceless husband at home.

<I'm married, no kids, one dog and one and three quarter cats.>

One and three quarter cats, Sheila? Is one of your cats missing a body part? Poor kitty.... :-(

Count me as another one who travels without DH . . . traveling w/hubby is twice the money and half the fun.

We've been happily married for over 40 years and I think this is why!

Happy travels,
Sandy (in Denton)

Yes, I have traveled solo to Europe and with one of my kids, and I am going to do so again shortly.

My husband who was born in Europe, lived there and traveled there, has no interest in going back. He hates the idea of flying, of jet lag, missing the comforts of home, eating food that doesn't agree with him, and even missing the kids for a couple weeks. None of these things bother me. (Of course I do miss the kids but they are quite capable of handling two weeks without me and don't mind.) Plus, my husband and kids typically talk to me for an hour or two every night while I'm away, thanks to cheap phone cards.

I haven't had any experiences that were actually bad. But being a solo female traveler does make you a more likely target of advances from men.

I wouldn't mind traveling with a friend who was very independent and non-whiny, but I'm not sure I know any who also have the freedom to go on a trip.

Have travelled twice to England on my own which is not as adventurous as going somewhere where English is not the first language, but both times I rented a car and drove and navigated by myself (or attempted to).

First trip I was burned out from work and wanted to recapture my spirit in Cornwall, stayed at an ancient stone cottage in Crackington Haven for a month, then travelled around. Missed my husband terribly but he wanted the 'old' me back. And I came back.

Second time I wanted to attend a writing course at Oxford and he wasn't the least bit interested. Had an amazing time, then rented a car and a cottage in Chipping Campden and explored the Cotswolds in depth.

Both times ended my trip with a stay in London, which I love. Have also travelled with my sister-in-law, a sister and my mother on different trips.

My husband is a great traveller, but just doesn't have the passion for England that I do. We've been married 27 years.

I've gone to Europe (Italy, London) without my husband because (1) he has less vacation time than I; and (2) being 6'4', he doesn't like to travel far distances, so he makes very infrequent trips to Europe unless he can go business or first (expensive!).

No real problems traveling without hubby, as he doesn't speak any foreign languages, and I was always tasked with doing the research and reservations anyway.

I've gone with sister or friends, so I haven't really been "alone." I think I may feel a little "lonely" if I went by myself, as I am not good with striking up conversations with strangers. Also, I like having someone to bounce off ideas (should I go here, eat there, etc.).

I've just returned from three weeks in London, northern Belgium and northern France, without my husband. My reasons for travelling alone are similar to those given by P_M.

The trip went well. Although I love my husband and missed him greatly, travelling solo was also "fun and liberating" (as another poster says on this thread).

There were certain practical advantages as well: for example, I could eat when, where and what I wanted. My husband would usually insist on a big meal in a restaurant every noon hour and evening. On my own, I could have a picnic dinner in my hotel room (if I wanted) or just buy something from a street vendor and eat on a bench in a nearby park. I did that several times.

To my surprise, I also slept much better than usual: no snoring to wake me up throughout the night. (Never underestimate the value of a good night's sleep.)

I wouldn't want to make all my overseas trips alone; it is, after all, much more fun to travel with your soul mate. But travelling alone is certainly do-able, and can be enjoyable. I would much rather travel alone than not travel at all.

Heck - we should coordinate all of these married women travelling solo for dinners while in Europe!

I travel frequently in Europe and South America (well,for that matter in the USA) without my husband. He hates to fly, doesn't have the passion for travel I do and is basically a homebody. He stays with the dogs (we have four, and I remain curious about Sheila with a three quarter cat) and I go for a week or two at a time. In the last year I have been to the UK, France, Peru, Panama, Bermuda and numerous trips in the USA.
It seems to work for us.

cmeyer54, I think that's a good idea. I had dinner with a woman I met on one of the walking tours I went on during my last trip, and I enjoyed that.

Some years ago, whilst we were on holiday in France, we got a call from our friendly neighbourhood housesitter to the effect that our cats had disappeared the night before, and one had returned with a bad leg (turned out he'd been shot and the leg had to the amputated- don't waste your sympathy; the cat hasn't even noticed). The other came home two weeks after us.

The local gamekeeoer has since lost his job (heh, heh, heh!)

I hate to think of how many of our cats he's put paid to over the years.

Wow! this is so interesting with great encouraging responses and positive experiences.....keep it coming!!

My twin sister, our childhood friend and I plan a trip to the U.K. in May to celebrate our 50th birthdays. It started out with just the three of us but somehow their husbands decided to come along. My husband has no interest in traveling to England and would rather spend his time doing surf fishing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, so I know I'll probably have a better time on my own. Not sure how the other two husbands are going to react (I get the feeling we may hear a bit of "If I see one more castle ruin I'm going to be ill"), but we three women can only hope for the best!

Since I became a single again in 1994, I have traveled to Europe almost every year. I have gone alone, with my kids, with friends, in small groups and in large tour groups.
The small groups were great. It was very relaxing having someone else take care of the details and there were wonderful opportunities to meet like-minded travelers. But, I have to admit that I had the most fun traveling alone. It was so good to make all the decisions and to pace myself for myself.
My alone trips: I spent a week in London, seeing the sites and going to the theater. I did a long weekend in Iceland where I hired a driver to take me around the island - fabulous, like going to another world. Finally, I spent a week in Paris in 1997. Despite my high-school French, I found it easy to use the subway system. People were very nice, except for the occasional waiter. I even came to enjoy eating alone, especially in outdoor cafes where I could people watch.
My advice to women thinking about traveling alone is: GO! Plan, prepare and then do it. Don't wait til it's too late - go when you can and enjoy every minute.

I'm married with three kids (one has just flown the coup - I mean nest, so I guess he doesn't count anymore). I have traveled with my husband, with husband and kids, with teenage daughter, and with friend. But last summer I did a solo trip for the first time and LOVED it. Definitly planning to do it again. (Although next two trips in planning stages include other people, one of them includes husband).

Same reasons as many of the others have given - husband gets much less vacation than I do, likes travel but isn't passionate about it like I am, someone needs to stay home with youngest kid (although older kid can now do that), etc. But whatever your reasons, if you are considering you should go for it. I really don't think you'll regret it. Of course I missed my family, and sometimes I wished I had someone to share things with, and once in a while it would have been logistically easier to be with another person. But overall the pluses outweighted the minuses and I had a wonderful time.

I went to Italy and Prague, but I really think anywhere in Western Europe would be very easy.

i am looking forward to my first solo trip to europe in either 2005 or 2006!

i go for weekends away in the u.s., leaving husband and daughter who do beautifully by themselves. i've been away for a week for work, which wasn't enjoyable, but i'm sure solo in paris (?) will be much better.

i say go for it!

I've talked to women who seem like they'd only go to Paris or Venice or wherever if their husbands or significant others had a sudden romantic fit and whisked them away, having magically arranged all details. In reality there are so few women for which this happens, and it really is a fantasy. It is quite true that solo trips for married women are not at all romantic, but there is much more to Europe than romance.

I can add that over the past several years my sister has walked stretches of Wales solo, taking in the various trails. She loves her walkabouts. For my part, I am male and ended up traveling solo to France last summer because I wanted to see the Tour de France a second time. I had been the previous summer to the Tour with my family and it was an absolute blast to have my children experience the Tour with me. But I must say that I can connect with many of the posted comments about the value of traveling alone. I loved being able to drive where and when I wanted (no back seat driving or fighting!), being able to make decisions on the fly, and being able to work on my French with anyone whom I happened to encounter. As much as I missed my family and sent home postcards with full reports, I really enjoyed the opportunity. I can say that I too am not keen on dining (dinner) alone, but I found bringing a novel or a stack of post cards and a pen eased that discomfort--not too mention, of course, the added help of the vin rouge!

It was serendipitous to see this posting after I just got home from Paris on my first ever solo trip.

I am married to a wonderful travel partner who gives free reins to my passion for travel planning. He was less understanding about my desire to travel solo because we have such great times together.

I wanted the challenge of being on my own and with the help of suggestions from this forum had a magical trip. As stated by many solo travelers on Fodors I was receptive to the people around me because I was on my own and because of that had some great conversations. I think it also helped that it was just before and during the recent election and Parisians were very interested in this. I did not feel uncomfortable eating on my own in Paris as others were also alone and never felt unsafe even while on the metro late into the evening.

For me I found Paris to be a perfect city to explore on my own but it also is my favorite city so that may have something to do with it.

So I say enjoy all the planning and enjoy your travel. Deborah

Not quite alone, but my friend and I are going to Paris, leaving the men behind. I'm actually looking forward to it. I adore my husband but there are some things that are better done without him along, from taking half an hour to pick the right shade of lipstick at the Galleries Lafayette, to staring at my favorite painting at the Musee d'Orsay for another half an hour! (husband looks, admires, and moves on).

And don't even get me started about how wonderful it is to travel without the kids! Mine are at that awkward age that their interests and mine are poles apart, heck, galaxies apart. I keep waiting for just a few more years to go by until they become fit travelling companions once more. Until that happens, they stay home while Mama flies the coop.

What a great thread!

I've just returned from a fabulous 2 1/2 weeks with a friend visiting Paris, Venice and Tuscan hilltowns. We both left spouses, and kids at home aged 5 - 17. Last fall I went with another girlfriend, she married with a daughter as well, and toured the Big Italian 3 along with the Cinque Terre.

I've always travelled with women friends during my 31 years with my husband: I love cities, he hates them; I love museums and galleries, he can leave them; and he wants to sail, sail, sail when he has the time. I like sailing but...

I've never travelled alone, but I'd now go solo if I couldn't find a travelling friend.

Planning that fall 2005 trip,

Cheers,
Linda

I don't have kids and my husband is a doll to travel with--flexible about what to do and when, agreeable to all but my most touristy requests. He tells me most of his enjoyment from travelling is seeing me have a good time. So I love to take him with me.

However, he has started his own business at a time that I'm started to increase my travels as I can afford to and I'm certainly not getting any younger :-). So I am facing this as well.

I've taken a niece with me to Italy this year for two weeks and that went great. I'm tacking on extra days or a week to business trips and exploring on my own as well. I've done this in London, Helsinki, and Seoul as well as in the U.S.

I find most of the time I do prefer a travelling companion to share the experience with. I tend to move quicker and not linger as much when on my own, which I don't think is a good way to experience another country. I don't go as far and wide in the countryside and parks alone. I also do not like to eat dinner in a restaurant alone. So I too tend to eat meals earlier and just take food back to room in evening. Last trip I got a studio room with kitchenette that was great for when I didn't want to go to a restaurant. I've also found a good break from being solo is to sign up for a walking tour as I did in London. Overall, I think I like the one city on my own better than travelling around solo.

I've got a business trip later this month to Spain with a couple of extra days to explore and at the end of the year I'm off to Thailand where my husband will join me after one week of mixed work/play in Bangkok when we will head to the north (he didn't want to stay home alone over the holidays and didn't like the idea of me off riding elephants and trekking in the forest on my own).

Hello: The first time I went solo (without my DH) but with 2 friends was in Portugal in 1993. And believe me,I swore I would never do this again.One "friend" drove me crazy.Very obnoxious,rude and loud.
A few years later, my husband retired and we made plans to go to Spain.Purchased plane tickets, rented an apartment in Nerja for a month.Two weeks before departure,he receives a call to supervise some work project.(he is a mining engineer).Well,I was not going to stay home.So off I went as planned on my own.My DH joined me on the 3rd wk. of the trip.
Since then we have traveled together to Europe 4 times.But this year DH wants to stay home. So I will be going back to Spain for 2 weeks solo. We really enjoy each others company (married 40 years,both 65) but I think this will be great.I believe I will do more exploring on my own.A friend was to join me but changed her mind.
Leaving for 2 weeks in Feb. Until then, Fodors and all of you great travelers keep me happy.I get my "fix" everyday.

Another thought--when on my own I prefer to stay in small hotels or B&Bs where I get to know the staff and may chat with others in the breakfast room or lounge. It just feels more comfortable for me, more homey, than a large business hotel.

thank you all gutsy women!
I will be in Paris in March 2005 with my husband for a week and then perhaps in September Budapest/Prague sounds inviting - ALONE!! So will get that in the works....

Three weeks in provence, One year two Weeks in England, Wales, Paris. If I drove, I'd try other places.

I am curious to know how others reacted to a married woman telling others she was going on vacation without husband.

Unfortunately I don't get any special reaction :)

Mesdames: I have enjoyed reading this serious, thoughtful and even joyful thread.

I can also tell you, without any fear of contradiction, that MOST of the men on this forum would break out in a COLD SWEAT at the unrepentant girl-power of this thread!

Most men -- straight or gay -- cannot manage alone and are petrified by someone who can.

Including yours truly.

But I would take my hat off to youse, if I were not sitting indoors, hence not wearing one.....

joymiccon, the responses I get are along the lines of, "Aren't you scared?" and "You're so brave!" and "Lucky you".

Tedgale, that made me laugh, but I think you must be underestimating yourself.

joymiccon, I found that married men friends and acquaintances were generally very supportive of my travelling with another female and not my husband (although a good male friend suggested I was "abandoning" my family). The really interesting responses came from other married women, which ranged from supportive to downright nasty.

I'm not married anymore (and haven't been for a long time), and LOVE to travel solo. I've traveled with the kids, of course, in the past, and went on various tour groups in Europe and the U.S. I enjoyed those, but after getting up the courage to go solo, I discovered that's what really appeals to me. At first I stuck to the big cities - London, Paris. Then decided to branch out and drive around the countryside in France. I've done that for the past few years - to Burgundy, Loire Valley, Provence, Alsace. Have had a wonderful time each trip, and found people to be so nice. However, I think my friends and family think I'm nuts to want to do this alone! The only reason I sometimes wish I had a husband is for someone to keep the dogs while I travel!