I travelled to Paris alone without my husband and three kids six years ago for just three days. It was the most amazing experience - to do whatever I wanted, at the pace I wanted, without strollers, car seats, bathroom breaks, "I'm starving and I hate the food", etc. I am a stay at home mom and at that point I needed a real break. I walked all over Paris for two days, and had a car take me to Giverny for half a day. Truthfully, I was thinking the whole time "Oh my God, my kids would love this and this and that" and Paris is a very very romantic city, so I felt a little lonely at different moments, but it was so wonderful anyway and I saw so much in such a short time because I could keep moving. My husband travelled all over the world when he was little and I don't think it was the best experience because he just is not interested in travelling now. I think his parents made it miserable. But anyway, the only problem I had was that my car driver hit on me. Of course, now that makes a funny story but at the time it was uncomfortable. You should go and enjoy every minute. Where are you thinking of going?

By the way, I am finally taking my kids to Paris in February!

This one has pretty much run the gamet with so many wonderful answers for you. I'll just take up my little space here.

One long UK & Ireland solo when unmarried and while married, I went once alone to Eastbourne with trips to London and South Downs area; coming up in Feb. I'm going solo to Paris. Each married solo trip was/will be one week: my son joined me for a second week on the England trip.

Bad: Others haven't said this so I may be in the minority but there's no denying it, for me at least, alone has had it's wierd and lonely moments. Didn't Jim Morrison sing,"people look strange when your a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone"...? And solo for me sometimes runs along those lines. Sorry to report it isn't all peaches and cream for me, but you asked, and not everybody experiences this.

But I go! And this is why:

Good: The feeling of getting away from everyone you know (your hub, fam, friends - anyone who knows you) combined with getting far away in a different country of your choice is priceless! You are free, free as you've rarely experienced. Do what you want. I just love that part and you will too, I bet. It's cool.

Great thread!

Answers: Yes. Europe lots as a solo. Have gone with hubby too. As another poster said, I have way too many other solo trips to list.

Europe is cool but I have gone all over the world solo, with hubby or with the family or with a friend or two.

Length 6 months to 6 days solo.

Went with one tour group decades ago: UGGGHHHHH.

I get all kinds of responses, comments, advice, love, jealousy, hate, fears, cheers etc.

I spend all kinds of money, I save some, I spluge some...I dine fine and I dine casual. I dress up and I dress down. I never eat in my room or eat early.
I go dancing, drinking, exploring solo without a pause. I am cautious, curious and can say that while being alone I am not lonely. Homesick? you bet but I get homesick at times when I travel with hubby and the family too.

If you google you will find many travel boards for solo women travellers.

Enjoy!

My DH and I started having separate vacations back in 1972. I recall the neighbors in my "small town mid-America" being totally flabbergasted with the very thought of it all.

I have not been to any European countries on my own, but I have been to all 50 states, he has not. I have been to Australia and the south Pacific 5 times. He hasn't been once! I've been to places in Thailand and SE Asia that he hasn't seen yet.

The running joke became... are you taking your husband this time??? The answer is, yes, we did travel together during holiday times (spring break and Christmas vacation). Now I am newly retired from teaching elementary school, and we are traveling more together. We both enjoy seeing new places and old favorites. When we are there, we often go our separate ways for shopping and photo taking.

Traveling alone has its benefits. I'm glad I did it for so many years. And I still will!

tedgale wrote: "Most men -- straight or gay -- cannot manage alone and are petrified by someone who can."

What a cute, but totally out-dated notion. This is not the 1950/60's.

I travel solo all the time - Canada, all over the U.S., Scotland, England, Japan (a particularly comfortable place to be a woman solo). I highly recommend it. When "friends" raise an eyebrow and comment on how odd this is for two people who supposedly love each other I show them my 35th wedding anniversary gifts and they leave us alone.

do any women out there struggle with guilt because they feel pulled between the older generation attitudes and more modern attitudes of society. Particually women in mid forties range.

Of course! I often travel for business and always try to squeeze a vacation in either before or after the trip...I've been solo to Vienna (several times), Copenhagen, Stockholm, London, Paris, Milan and the lakes, Switzerland and so on.
At the moment we're sort of in a forced traveling apart mode. We recently moved to the UK, but my husband is still doing a lot of work back in Brussels, staying there for days at a time, so I head down to London twice a week on my own.
One of my best friends thinks it's very odd and sad that we're separated so much, but both my husband and I grew up in families where the father was away for long periods...my dad was a mining engineer and was often off for weeks at a time in Africa or South America (and seldom to places that my mother wanted to visit); my husband's dad directed major construction projects (i.e., he was in charge of building the Citibank Tower in Hong Kong, the Equitable complex in NYC [better known among Fodorites as the place where Le Bernardin restaurant is located], the Charlotte Coliseum, etc.). He spent several months in Indonesia on a project while his wife and kids lived in Perth, Australia.
Anyway, for us, while traveling separately isn't ideal or what we'd choose to do, it doesn't feel all that strange either.

BTilke, our friends and family also think it's sad we do not vacation together more often. We don't think it's sad at all, and I wish everyone else would just get over it and stop making comments. As I said in my earlier post we have very different interests, plus he has so little time off. It makes a lot more practical sense just to do our own thing, that way neither of us is deprived of doing what we enjoy.

P_M, don't you love the way some people critique other peoples marriages when maybe their own needs some attention.

I sometimes took trips on my own, my late DH went off with the fellows for "deer hunting" (NO he never even tried to shoot a deer) for about 10 days every autumn. None of the fellows did, just an excuse for a "guys time away".

He played golf once a week and also played in golf tournaments. I had no interest in golf

I went on overnighters to SF with girlfriends for shopping etc.

We had a fantastic marriage. And always had interesting and fun things to talk about.

Most of the people that had raised eyebrows were so bored (and boring) in their marriages. It is funny but sad. I personally wouldn't have changed a thing.

BTW, our shopping trips, dinners out and vacations were fantastic together. Also our time at home, chatting over a glass of wine will dinner cooked etc.

I truly hope that no one worries about what "others think". Do what works in your marriage. That is all that is important. ((*))

thanks loveItaly thats is what I feel too, people are quick to judge, its disappointing.

enjoylife,
(my thoughts on this )
There is always someone who will have an opinion on how <i>You</i> should do this or that.
I have in the not too distant past had a couple of people (single women) who made disparaging remarks because my husband and I do everything <i>together</i>! When invited to go on a trip with someone I hardly knew, I said I would take that trip with him, I was critisized..
So my attitude on this is do what You and Your Husband are happy to do and who cares what so-called friends have to say!! ( My real friends are just happy for me to be happy, they never give me advise on how to live my life)

adviCe...sheesh..:)

<i>Never take on a trip anything you can't afford to lose.</i>

My only solo travel was in Montreal, but that didn’t really count. Tony was up in Montreal for some training and I flew up, stayed with him in his hotel and went out into the city on my own during the day and enjoyed the sights alone. I even dined alone for dinner, expect the one day he was off.

I have plans to travel to the Baltics on a 14-night cruise with 4 nights pre-cruise in London in May with my Mom Dorothy. However, she was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and will soon start chemo and radiation therapy. She and I are hoping she'll be done with the treatments prior to May so she can go on this trip, but we won't until she starts all this. We’ll have to see what the Dr. says. And of course, we won’t know the results of the treatments until about March or April when she’ll have x-rays to see if the cancer is gone. If so, then no more treatments - if not, then another round. We also won’t know how she’ll be feeling in May – if she’ll be up to a busy cruise schedule.

Mom offered to pay for my single supplement on the cruise knowing how much I want to go (and how much I love to travel) and all the planning I’ve done, but the cruises charge 200% for a single passenger! I told her, &quot;Thanks for the generous offer, that’s just too much for you to pay.”

Tony, my husband, has vacation scheduled for October (the pilots get their vacations based on seniority) and may not be able to move it, plus he would have to take some of the days without pay (18 day trip versus 12 days of paid vacation). The other problem is if USAirways goes bye-bye in the next 2 months, which he thinks will happen, he doesn’t know if that will include Midatlantic, USAirways subsidiary who he flys for. So he may be out of a job … again!

Up to today, I plans were “Mom or cancel completely.” After reading some of these posts and the one quote that I copied here, if Mom can’t go with me, I’m going to splurge and pay the single supplement. This IS a trip of a lifetime. There will be several couples on this trip that I met on my 2003 Med. cruise. With my cruise friends, I won’t be completely alone. And paying the single supplement will be less expensive than Tony coming.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Mom will be feeling wonderful and ready to go on the trip with me.

Monica ((F))

Good Afternoon!
I thought I would bring this post alive again....can anyone recommend a good Women's Travel Club?

Three weeks in Provence, two in Paris, One week to London.

There is no alone like being married and feeling alone.
Such was my case. I divorced him and my world almost immediately opened up. No children in that marriage, but I did get custody of the friends.
Once the doors and windows were all opened, I was free.
I go out to dinner here at home guess how? ALONE! The theater (one can often get GREAT seats because there is only 1!)
Then I started to earn more so I travelled. My joy was my one week to Paris. And it was my joy. I was so proud of me.
In a few weeks I am getting married.
Already, he and I've been to Europe so that I could meet his family in Germany.
He travels for work anyway and just loves it!
I'm blessed.
And as to the posters above, Scarlett has the right of it..why do people care sooooo much what others think?

Hello again....thanks Cigalechanta, for the travel itinerary, and congratulations, SusieC on your up and coming wedding. However, can anyone out there recommend a Women's Travel Club that offers various, active itinerary in a variety of countries...age group 40-65ish? Thanks...

Welig, LOL that's not my itinerary but where I've traveled alone through the years but I found this for you:

http://www.transitionsabroad.com/

Thanks, Cigalechanta, for the interesting website. If anyone can recommend a specific Women's Travel Club that they enjoyed and give reasons why.... I would appreciate any and all info.

Thanks again....

http://www.just-us-girls.org/ This is women's only cruise group. I haven't participated but a friend has.

I did a solo trip to Italy in May and LOVED it! http://www.luvtotravel.homestead.com/ItalyJrnl06.html

Monica ((F))

Hi welig,

Sorry , I don't know about any women's travel club. However, I just spent 3 weeks by myself, 2 of them I spent in Lucca, Italy attending an Italian immersion program. While I was there there were other women by themselves. Some were married, other single.

If you have any interest in languages, attending a language school gives you a great &quot;excuse&quot; to travel by yourself and , at the same time, have the company of others. I enjoyed the experience tremendously.

The past two Octobers I went to Europe with my Art Goes to School group. I wish I was going this October, too!

My husband and I are very compatible for our active vacations - hiking, biking, exploring, etc. But I love art and he hates it, so I went two years ago to Paris by myself. It was wonderful. I spent 6 hours in the Louvre - unthinkable with my husband or kids along. While I did miss them, all I kept thinking was how wonderful I thought things were, and knowing how much they would NOT have enjoyed them.

Last year I went to Italy. Again, I did so many things that my husband just wouldn't have enjoyed. I had started this great pattern (of going to Europe in Oct), and people actually started asking me where I was going this year! (Unfortunately our only travel this Oct. is to the Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos, with kids, obviously).

I got a few nasty comments from other moms (Well *I* could never leave my family like that), but what really amazed me how everyone just GUSHED about how wonderful my husband was to &quot;let me go&quot; and stay home with HIS kids. He travels a lot for work, and no one ever comments on how wonderful it is that I am home with the kids during all sorts of events while HE is away. It is expected of me, I guess, but he's husband of the century when he does it.

It was funny - I told my husband that I wanted to go Europe again, maybe totally by myself next time (no tour group) and that I wanted to see London. So he said he'd like to come and that we'd bring the kids. I do think my kids are ready for a trip like this, so next summer we're off to England! (And he'll have to do something with the kids so I can see the National Gallery, the Wallace Collection and the Courtland Gallery!)

I've traveled to Europe alone - I'm married, no kids (but have a dog). DH doesn't like to travel long distances in coach (he's tall), so that cuts down on the number of trips he will to Europe

I don't know of any women-only tours, but I've gone with Mountain Travel Sobek (www.mtsobek.com) to Machu Picchu and also done a rafting tour of the Grand Canyon with them, without hubby. Most of the people were couples but there were also solo adults like me so there were always people to hang out with. I really enjoyed it.

Love this thread! While I have yet to travel solo, my sister and I have been taking a &quot;sisters vacation&quot; every year now for about 10 years or so. We started out driving to Quebec, then we went to Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island several times, a Caribbean cruise, a driving trip to Key West (had to evacuate!), the Pacific Northwest, France, Ireland, and we leave for Italy in 8 days!

It's great and so much fun. I also vacation with my husband every chance I get (just back from Quebec and the Gaspe Peninsula), but he just doesn't have the travel bug like I do.

Anyhow, I am 60 and both girls are grown, but I STILL get some funny and inquisitive looks when I tell people. They invariably ask: Is your husband going? Drives me NUTS!

Karen, I know exactly what you mean! The double standard is very much alive and well!

Hi ladies,

yes, I know all about the weird looks when people ask you about your plans! LOL!!! But to tell you the truth, I couldn't care less. To me, the only important thing is that my husband and kids are Ok with it. They are the greatest and I was very thankful that they let me do this.

karens, your trips sound heavenly! I never get to see ALL the art I want when I travel with my family. It has gotten better than the first trip I took with my husband - to Austria in 1984 - when I got maybe a half hour in the Kunsthistorisches Museum. Luckily, I was able to return in 2002 and 2005.

On my first London trip, I let myself get squeezed juggling family members' interests and only got 1 1/2 hours at the National Gallery. Boo. If you get a chance, you might want to check out Tate Britain. I found it to be more amazing than I expected.

Interesting. My husband, my brother, my father and most of the men I work with take regular golf, hunting and fishing trips without their wives or girlfriends. I can't remember anyone ever commenting on it, and I can't believe I didn't notice it until now. Hmm...

I really like travelling solo and first tried it when I went to Australia for 6 weeks. I did however have friends and family to visit some of the time.
Next it was solo to Paris and I intend doing that trip many times in the future!

Interesting post. I first travelled to Canada (Im from NZ) on my own - went to visit my penpal, was away for four weeks in all. In 2002 I went to the UK with my Mum, for a month - hubby and kids stayed at home. This time I am off to Europe for 5 weeks this Christmas - however hubby is joining me for this trip. He isn't particularly interested in travel like I am.

def a double standard... I leave my (very capable) dh behind with 3 kids (6,4,2) for a long weekend to Paris... he is a 'saint'. He travels constantly for work and.... nothing from those same people. Including family - who come out of the woodwork to 'help' when I'm gone.

For geez' sakes - he can handle a weekend alone. He's not incompetant and if he was, I wouldn't leave!

I like to take pictures, so my solo trip to Paris was spend with a photo tour shooting many pictures.

Another 'weekend alone' was spent at Pinehurst spa and Masters practice rounds. (many found it strange that I (bold) would go to Masters alone and not my dh! ).

I find it an opportunity to recharge my batteries. I absolutely miss my kids - but it makes me appreciate them.

I've decided to go solo rather than find a friend who has an understanding husband and a similar budget and interest. I like to do what I (bold) want to do!!!

Maybe men (especially married men?) should stay off of this thread - - and I confess to not having read every word of every posting on this thread...

...but every time I see this thread title in the left column, my curiosity is naturally piqued:

The poll question that comes to mind is:

If you're a married woman traveling solo (especially abroad), does it ever cross your mind to &quot;scratch an itch&quot;?

...and &quot;have you ever?&quot;

Best wishes,

Rex

(Now surely, we'll hear all kinds of commentary about married <i>men</i> traveling solo - - take a big swig of truth serum, please... those of you who say &quot;I have never thought about it&quot;...)

Rex, I'll be happy to answer.

nope.

thought about it? sure. who doesn't?

I have the greatest husband in the world and don't want to jeopardize that.

I'm just happy sleeping alone without anyone crawling in bed/needing me to take them to the bathroom/ needing a drink... !

rex, people of both sexes travel commonly travel solo, especially for business. I suppose that a certain percentage does cheat on their spouses. Heck, lots of people cheat without ever leaving town. I certainly have no interest in reading about it. Nor do I think it is an appropriate topic on this forum.

Personally, I don't think that ways of dealing with temptation, while traveling solo in Europe...

...is an inappropriate topic for this forum. The (&quot;so-called&quot;) glamour of traveling solo, to exotic destinations is associated with legends of both good and bad behavior. This is chiefly a forum for adults, isn't it? I think it can be discussed.

But the 75 previous participants on <i>this thread</i> may feel that it doesn't belong <i>here</i>...

...in which case, I would respect a request to remove my post from this thread.

And it's not a topic that would cause me to start a new thread about it.

Primarily, I was sharing what went through my head every time I saw the message header of this thread. After all, I've seen it pop back up to the top 75 times now. If it never occurred to anyone else (especially those who have already posted on this thread), then it shows that I'm out of touch.

My apologies, in that case.

I appreciate your further explanation, rex, and I can see your point. I wouldn't personally read a separate thread on the topic, but this forum is filled with threads of no interest to me! At any rate, I don't have much stake in this thread, and probably most of the previous posters don't either, since it's largely from 2004.

Wow, Rex. I'm impressed. An apology...

I took your question to be in the vein of fun. No harm, no foul.

over and out.

Rex,
Nothing wrong with your candid posts. But I think most women travelling solo are primarily concerned about safety and security, so unless a woman is planning to meet someone specific, pre-arranged, it's unlikely. Does the question come up for women otherwise? Of course, we're human and we have wonderful imaginations! Anyway, the point is that if you have a sister or partner who wants to travel alone, encourage it!

Ignoring the issue about temptation and just focus on the solo travel aspect, if the married woman is up to it, I suggest doing so. It's a great feeling to have your own itinerary and time schedule when you travel alone.