dan

My wife and I will soon have our first child. I am an inveterate traveller, and I am very determined to prove my co-workers wrong. They say that I may as well forget about travelling for a long time. My own thoughts are that I probably will not go overseas for 2-3 years and just travel in the U.S. in the meantime. After that I want to renew my quest to see as much of the world as possible. Our parents and other relatives live quite a ways away and are not retired yet, so we may end up taking the kids on a lot of the trips at an early age. I want to here how others have dealt with similar situations - the good and the bad. As much as I love this forum, I will not be content to travel vicariously. My wife feels the same way, but I am a bigger traveller than she. Any suggestions or advice? Thanks.

Marcia

Children don't stop your traveling, but they change it. And if you don't go with that flow, you will make them, yourselves and all your fellow travelers miserable. <BR> First of all, let us hope you have children who are flexible and are OK with traveling. Some kids aren't - it's just their personalities - and it makes it very hard. <BR> Secondly, you will need to plan different kinds of trips. When they are very little, you mostly have to plan for naps and food and facility stops all the time - it is pretty labor intensive for you. And you have to have the stroller, the daypack, etc etc etc. So simple trips, without a lot of moving around are good. <BR> Until they are somewhere between 9 and 12 (depends on the child), a variant on the simple trip will be best. Small children get bored. They don't want to hang out in one place too long. They don't like slow-service restaurants. They are usually not very interested in most kinds of museums unless it is very relevant to them - things that work, science museums, that kind of stuff. <BR> It doesn't mean that there aren't great trips to take them on. It just means that you may need to plan differently. Do lakes and mountains and beaches and short rides on intersting kinds of transportation (subways, canal rides, boats, steam trains - you get the idea) with some culture thrown in. And you have to allow plenty of "down" time - play time. As they get near the teen years, it changes again. They absorb more, remember more, etc., and you can go back to big cities , heavier culture, concerts, plays and the like. <BR> Other things that happen: it starts to cost a lot more, because eventually you need extra rooms. And sometimes parents are frustrated because they take a great trip - ewveryone has a great time - and then a year or two later you discover the kids don't remember half of what you think they should. I always figure the experience added to their experience - period. And sometimes when they revisit places from childhood trips they have very funny incidents of remembering and recognizing stuff - not stuff you thought was important, but stuff that made a dent on them. We just had a case of this involving Boston, and it was most amusing. Quincy Market and Faneuil Hall were complete forgotten by our then-13 year old. But he remembered some dusty momument I can't place for th e life of me. We figure he forgot Quincy Market because his father and I distinctly remember having to flee outside because both sons were having some kind of melt down sibling fight (hunger, tired etc.)!

Maira

Dan: I admire your determination and obvious love of travel...but the truth is that travelling with kids definitely puts a different spin in planning a trip. It comes to mind the first time I visited the Vatican Museum and this couple had their baby with them. The baby wouldn't stop crying (crowds?, hungry?, tired?...), the parents looked miserable!, most of the people in the room were so rude to this poor couple, but then again.... Definitely not the type of place to go with a baby! ...the bad news is the amount of parents who do this type of things over and over again!

ilisa

I don't have a lot to offer here, because my husband and I are wrestling with the same situation; we are expecting our first child in the spring. However, what I do firmly believe is that the way to have a well-adjusted child who can appreciate travel and adapt to it well, is to start travelling with them very early on, whether it be in the U.S. or Europe, to sightsee or visit family. For example, when the baby is 2 months old, we plan to take it to Florida to visit relatives. Fortunately, my parents have graciously offered to take the baby a few months later so we can have a vacation by ourselves, but I know we won't always be able to count on that, nor should we always expect it. I think Marcia gave some excellent tips on how to plan a trip with a child. We new parents must realize that we now have to consider the needs of a third person in making our plans. Regarding Maira's remarks about a baby crying at the Vatican museum, I agree that it probably was a bit disturbing. Perhaps the parents just didn't plan their visit accordingly. However, babies cry. It's a fact of life. For every crying baby I have encountered, I have encountered even more ill-behaved, bad mannered older children, and there is no excuse for that! <BR>

ilisa

I don't have a lot to offer here, because my husband and I are wrestling with the same situation; we are expecting our first child in the spring. However, what I do firmly believe is that the way to have a well-adjusted child who can appreciate travel and adapt to it well, is to start travelling with them very early on, whether it be in the U.S. or Europe, to sightsee or visit family. For example, when the baby is 2 months old, we plan to take it to Florida to visit relatives. Fortunately, my parents have graciously offered to take the baby a few months later so we can have a vacation by ourselves, but I know we won't always be able to count on that, nor should we always expect it. I think Marcia gave some excellent tips on how to plan a trip with a child. We new parents must realize that we now have to consider the needs of a third person in making our plans. Regarding Maira's remarks about a baby crying at the Vatican museum, I agree that it probably was a bit disturbing. Perhaps the parents just didn't plan their visit accordingly. However, babies cry. It's a fact of life. For every crying baby I have encountered, I have encountered even more ill-behaved, bad mannered older children, and there is no excuse for that! <BR>

Donna

Melt down sibling fight? What about the melt down parental cold war during the trip? Make a pact before the trip to be adultlike and nice to each other even when the kids are screaming. <BR> <BR>My husband and I became the designated parental unit for our 3 niece/nephews for a 5 day Disney trip a few years ago. What a riot. I laughed the whole time. The brothers (age 10 and 15) woke up and pounded on each other even before they got out of bed. The sister just said, "whatever" and ignored them. <BR> <BR>It definitely changes the trip, no matter the age. But don't stop travelling . . . maybe take a nanny along? <BR> <BR>

yolanda

I agree with Marcia --you certainly can and will travel post baby--but if you are realistic, you'll have a better time. There are PLENTY of places you can go that are more fun with younger children -WDW being just one. Perhaps you'll need to shift youor focus to domestic travel for a while. Very young babies are a little trickier. After the rigors of caring for a child, you will welcome a week at a beach house or even <BR>Grandma's. We reveled in those first few vacations even though it seemed to take us even longer to get ready for the day away from home. One suggestion to ensure you get more R&R if you don't have a relative around: offer to bring a teenager/college student as a parent's helper. She gets a free trip to the beach and you get a few hours a day of babysitting (perhaps dinners out or sleeping in). Should be a mutually beneficial exchange.

MollyDonnelly

Hi Dan, I posted this message yesterday and, "Poof!", it disappeared! So here goes again. My husband and I went to Colorado when my son was only 5 weeks old. We stayed at a friend's house that had an indoor swimming pool and jacuzzi. We got the master bedroom because of the baby and my "condition." While everyone went off skiing, I stayed in this wonderful house and relaxed with my newborn, went shopping and out to lunch with a friend. I would never had tried the trip so soon after delivery if it hadn't been for this house and it's amenities. When my son was 5 months old we took him Upstate (NY) for a wedding. At dinner one night, he behaved the worst- squawking and screeching like you wouldn't believe. My husband, my parents and I took turns walking him outside so that everyone else could eat in peace. (including the other diners) Most people were highly sympathetic, giggling and grinning at each adult rotation. Several years later, the night before a similar trip, he got a 104.5 fever and had to be taken to the doctor's. He was alright and we left as normal the next morning. We used to take our kids to parties. Our oldest used to sleep in the backpack/child carrier in the corner of the house. When they got older, we used to put them in our friends' beds. The moral of this story is that we have always included our kids in whatever plans we made and dealt with whatever was thrown our way. The result is that we have very flexible, well-adjusted little boys who are better behaved than most kids their age. We now live in Scotland and never would have considered such a big move if it weren't for their ability to deal with life's trials and tribulations. They simply have never known a different way of living. They have learned what is important in life; that no matter where they live, what type of house they live in, one thing is constant...family. So fear not Dan, it can be done! You just have to be incredibly prepared for every emergency. Never leave home without everything you could possibly need. (Even if you are just going out to eat at home, take a backpack with you of things your child can do quietely. We still do this for our 5 and 7 year old boys.) If you can't take it with you, make sure it's there when you get to your destination. Be prepared to have your child's diaper explode at the worst possible moment, or throw a tantrum while you are dining or touch the centuries-old statue and get caught! All those things will happen. Keep a sense of humor and don't worry about all those sour-pussed faces staring at you. You will probably never see them again anyway! Finally, know that you are giving your child a gift that will last a lifetime. They may never remember the Statue of David, but they will acquire a sense of family, the world and adventure. Go for it and congratulations to you and your wife.

marilyn

Yes, you can still travel with children, but it won't be the same nor--after you have the child--will you mind as much as you thought. There is NOTHING that can be more upsetting, annoying and labor-intensive than a child, and NOTHING that is more worth it! <BR> <BR>You do, however, have to be prepared. I am torn between recommending bringing lots of gear, and remembering how it can also be great to travel light. Babies can do very well on planes, but toddlers are unpredictable. I'm reminded of a trip to Mexico we took when our daughters were 4 1/2 and 17 months--the baby threw up all over herself (and me, unfortunately) several times on the way down, but slept, whereas on the way back she was a handful, including howling for 20 minutes straight when the seatbelt sign came on. I'll never forget the softly but fervently voiced sentiment of someone accross the aisle: "Let the lady with the baby off first." <BR> <BR>One of our best trips was to England when the girls were 6 and 9. They didn't like museums, but museums in CASTLES were very popular! Recently we took them to Paris--they are now 18 and 15--and that, too, made some very special memories. <BR> <BR>But in the early years, it is best to remember to build lots of outdoor time in, with regular naps, play, familiar foods, etc. Children thrive on routine even on trips, and forgetting this might bring unhappiness to even the most flexible child. <BR> <BR>Finally, remember, especially if you would be tempted to spend too much on trips to far away places, that it's OK to travel closer to home. A cottage vacation by a lake can be just as much fun in your home state as in Italy, and Italy is going away. And that would be my final tip: think about going somewhere pretty or interesting and renting a house or condo for your stay, touring locally but spending a major portion of your time at your destination.

Jane

Don't worry. I have done a lot of traveling (business and pleasure) with my two children, from the time they were newborns. As long as you are prepared with plenty of food, changes of clothes, and a sense of humor, everything works out. The best advice that I received when I was pregnant with my first child was "Assume you can travel with the baby/child". Also, the easiest traveling ages for "adult" type vacation destinations (museums, art galleries, etc.) are under 6 months and over age 4.

gina

<BR>jane has it right: under 8 months, they sleep a lot and usually you can take them out with you in the evenings, discrete breastfeeding is permissable in European restaurants. If they're warm, dry and fed they're usually happy. The next few years it makes sense to have a base - we generally hire a big house with friends somewhere dripping with the things you like doing nearby. Then you can all eat together, take it in trun to babysit, whatever. <BR> <BR>You should respect their need for routine and food and tell them where they're going to be (even if it's a different place every evening). When they're younger, I'd just say I found it one heck of a lot easier to have booked the next night's accom ahead. <BR> <BR>Don't stop travelling, but I really think that it's your pleasure you should consider. Until they're over 6 or 7, they really are too young to take in other cultures. But don't let them stop YOU doing it!!!!

Jen

Dan, I just ran across this website and thought of this post. Check this out. <BR>http//havechildrenwilltravel.com/ <BR>