Buzzy, I know I was kidding around above, but will seriously say now... With your husband's particular sensibilities I don't know why you are set on staying in the Marais. As I suggested earlier how about the 7th, or the 1st? The 5th or 6th? Paris is huge and many areas are beautiful.

Whether true or false you have picked an area often described as a "gay" part of the city, and targeted that for your stay. Why not simply stay in a different part of town? I don't understand the fascination, or setting yourself up for something that might make your husband uncomfortable.

Let me politely suggest (as I wipe the coffee spray off my monitor) that the OP has received sufficient response to her query about Paris and additional discussion on the spinoff topic(s)should move to the Lounge.

Couple years back while working on a project in Paris, I rented an apartment in the Marais for 4-5 weeks and loved staying in this area. It was convenient, lively, had great boutiques and shops were open until all hours. The apartment was in a residential block where other families lived.

Le Marais is a very old interesting part of Paris, I would recommend it to everybody. The Jewish area was extremely interesting to walk around.

What this thread demonstrates is that there are questions you can ask sincerely of a friend or associate that a public forum will misunderstand. Hereabouts you might ask "Which rental car company do you prefer in Italy?" and half your reponses might be along the lines of, "YOU'D HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO DRIVE IN ITALY!"

Buzzy's original post was pretty innocent and well-intentioned. Then pushed into a corner by some who read into it what wasn't there, she may have dug herself into a little hole. But I haven't seen anything there worth attack by others - and she has attacked no one or any group.

We all know that Buzzy's right: the Marais is called Paris's "gay quarter" in guidebooks and articles everywhere, even if it is many other things as well. She wanted to clear up what that meant exactly, before ruling it out as an apartment rental site. That a mature married couple might prefer not to reside in a center of gay nightlife (as some sources indicated it is) makes perfect sense; likewise a young gay couple would usually prefer not to accidentally book themselves into a family resort where they'd be uncomfortable showing affection for one another or just being themselves. (Never mind that they might like other gay people to talk to now and then.) The adventure of travel and new places notwithstanding, most of us enjoy places [hotels, restaurants, etc] where we "see ourselves" among the crowd. Even when we want a totally new environment, we generally have some idea what we're looking for.

And let's be frank: gay people are not anxious to have their favorite bars and cafes populated by people who will look at them with contempt or even curiosity! We're talking about comfort level here, and even open minded people often need to "segue" into a new milieu: this trip a stroll or shopping excursion into the Marais, next time a hotel. It's not necessary, important or even advisable to jump in the deep end of the pool.

On the tangent topic, what is considered "public display of affection" among straight couples is generally something more than holding hands or even a kiss goodbye on a street corner: we are quite used to seeing hetero couples in the clutch of what is basically foreplay, whether on a park bench, a subway platform or a restaurant banquette, and that's what we call "PDA" - but you'll have to be in a gay ghetto indeed before you see a gay couple go beyond simple affectionate gestures in public (so far.) Knowing that there are people around who will snicker at best or are cruising around with baseball bats at worst, means it takes courage to do what a straight couple takes for granted. Gay people far outside the gay centers would like to feel free, but don't. In one important respect, this is good: it gives us, if we want it, an appreciation for what it is to be the minority, even those of us who are white men in America! As Buzzy mentioned, none of us exactly likes to feel like the "odd ones out". But it's not a bad thing to experience what that means.

a simple "no, you wont find it uncomfortable in Paris" would have sufficed but since we all like to exchange thoughts here.
The point is, people should respect others.
I once wanted to go hot potting in a national park. So we suited up and hiked out to an area in a guide book. When we got there it was obviously a meeting spot and there were dozen naked men lounging in the water. I wanted a soak so I wasn't going to let that spoil my day.But if there was any intimate activity, I was drawing the line.People have differing sensibilities.

Give me a break, those people could have had the courtesy to put on a speedo!

Several years ago my wife and I stayed for 5 weeks in an apartment near Le Musee Picasso and very much enjoyed all the areas around there, especially streets toward the Seine and toward Place des Vosges. We would gladly stay in that area again, but we try to locate in a different area each time. So, next May we will stay in an apartment near La Mosquee.

Being "straight" was no reason for us to avoid Le Marais, just as being Jewish is no reason to worry about the area around La Mosquee.

Very funny, hypatia - with the distance of time, anyway!

Once while in Santa Fe NM I had the treat of spending a morning at Ten Thousand Waves, enjoying a massage, sauna etc. The unusual aspect was that the hot tub/plunge pool/sauna area was co-ed and bathing suit optional. I hadn't arrived with one, so the optional part for me was either go without the experience of the tubs, or go without my suit. (as had about half the dozen or so people using it at the same time.) The only problem was that a couple of guests seemed to deal with any nervousness by carrying on a non-stop conversation about nothing - which diminished the effect of being in the japanese-inspired setting under the open sky.

I have to disagree with tomassocroccante (and wholeheartedly agree with Cimbrone). I found the original post offensive. Which is why I thought it was a joke. To my reading the translation of the original post went something like:

I don't like seeing gay people be "gay" and I've heard they tend to hang out in the Marais. So, do you think I should consider staying in the Marais?

Uh, no.

Buzzy has every right to hate whomever she wants -- be it for religious reasons or otherwise. But to foist that sort of bigotry on the board is bad form. For fodor-folk to say its ok is not good.

Someone ought to tell Buzzy that France is 95 percent Catholic. So, it simply does not explain her husbands homophobia (or hers, perhaps) to say he is a Catholic. Lots and lots of Catholics are tolerant folks. To be more accurate she should have said he's a narrow-minded, bigoted, intolerant person.

So, let's pretend Buzzy was totally serious (and not joking or lazy). Here's my answer. If you are homophobic then do not stay in the Marais. But, I should also add, that gays are often unpredictable and sometimes they drink, walk, and live outside their designated Quarter. So, these days, one never knows where they might be lurking. Same goes for communists, jews, blacks, etc. It is indeed a complicated and confusing world we live in.

Saying the 95% of the French population is Catholic when 50% of the population does not even believe in god is ridiculous. 95% are of Catholic origin. I don't know a single person who has had a child baptized in more than 10 years.

My comments are nothing to do with anything about gay lifestyle, it's about smart vacation planning.

I simply can't understand going specifically somewhere that you or your spouse may feel uncomfortable (even if you never see a gay person you'll be thinking of it, as is obvious by making this posting).

Stay in another part of the city and relieve your anxiety. There's all kinds of great neighborhoods in Paris besides the Marais.

Ruechapon...so you're one of those "my way or the highway" type folks? If someone disagrees with you then they're automatically a bigot? It's exactly that attitude that is doing so much damage to gay rights in this country. Why not just give Buzzy some advice on where to avoid something that will make her uncomfortable instead of judging and condemning her? Did she swagger in here talking about damnation of gays? Did she say gays weren't born that way or any of the other things narrow minded people spout off to hurt others? Nope. All she did was kindly (and a bit timidly) ask if what she read was true and to what extent they would encounter an overtly gay lifestyle.

If you read that she hates gays in her OP then you've got a very active imagination. Don't be so easily offended by someone who sees life differently than you (isn't that what gays are usually telling straight people?)...your day will brighten dramatically.

Wekiva -- yep, I'm a "its my way or the highway" type of guy when it comes to homophobia, anti-semitism, and racism. They are wrong. Always have been. I'm not afraid to say that.

How my position sets back the cause of gay rights is a bit beyond me.

Kerouac -- France is 95 percent Catholic. How do I know? Because 95 percent of French people SELF IDENTIFY as Catholics. Now, you might want to say they aren't REAL Catholics if they don't baptize or tolerate gays or whatever but that's your all you, my friend. I will take them at their word. If they say they're Catholic, that's good enough for me.

OMG tomassocroccante that's where it was, just west of Santa Fe!!LOL...the thing is I had a friend's college student daughter with me and so I told the closest one to please keep his legs crossed .... anyway

Uhoh, we're on to religion now...

let's just say if your Jew and Gay phobic pass on the Marais.If your snob phobic stay away from the 7th and Place Vendome.If your student phobic avoid the 5th.Couscous phobic -the St Michel.Dog and smoke phobic- the street and cafes.Tourist phobic-the Eiffel,Notre Dame,the Arch,the Louvre and the Concord.And lastly if you are Arab phobic stay way away from the Galleries Lafayette!!

Ruechapon...since we're in a conversation I'll reply but it's unfortunate to be heading in a negative direciton in such a great travel forum (not just you...the whole discussion).

I totally agree that homophobia, anti-semitism, and racism are wrong; hating anyone is wrong. But I don't believe that someone who disagrees with the gay lifestyle is a bigot. Negative action is required in my mind...something more than an opinion. I believe it's that attitude that turns many people off to the gay cause.

Either way I hope to get back to ANY part of Paris some day soon...gay or non gay area is fine with me.

I'm for letting Buzzy just have whatever kind of vacation she wants to have. I think she should stay somewhere besides the Marais. A vacation shouldn't be for compulsory cultural sensitivity.

Wekiva, we agree. I think I wrote, or at least meant to write that in my opinion she's free to hate whomever she wants. And I'm free to call her a bigot for her prejudices. But sure, if I didn't like gays or whatever then I imagine I'd want to avoid them too. I was just taken aback by how open she was about it. That's why I thought the original post was a joke.

But we agree.

And I agree with Gary.

8)

And I'm not kidding about the Vatican. Check out the hot calendar:

http://www.calendarioromano.co.uk/

>> Because 95 percent of French people SELF IDENTIFY as Catholics. <<

Actually it's somewhere near 65%, but whatever.

http://www.ifop.com/europe/universit...C3%BBt2006.pdf

superheterodyne -- yeah, you're right. interesting. thanks for posting.

someone ought to tell the US press. See for example:

The New York Times
Battle over the banlieues
By David Rieff
Saturday, April 14, 2007