My lunatic sister in law is marrying a virtual stranger in Venice. Do I have to go to the hen night in Barcelona as well?
May 18th, 2004, 11:34 AM
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My lunatic sister in law is marrying a virtual stranger in Venice. Do I have to go to the hen night in Barcelona as well?
Ok, before I start, this is more of a rant than a question, but I need some laughs and advice from complete and impartial strangers.
My (future) sister-in-law is a serial engager. I mean, in her 32 years she's been engaged 6 times (never quite made it to the altar).
3 years ago she went to Sorrento with a guy she'd been dating 2 months. True to form, she came back engaged, with plans to marry in Sorrento. (He's engagement no.6, for the records). Anyway, the date never got set, they bought a house, and all seemed well. Then 3 months ago they split. These things happen, we all felt quite sad, including said sister-in-law.
This is a girl who can't stand being on her own, so it was no surprise when she said she was dating again. Nothing serious, just someone to hang out with, blah blah.
Anyway, she's just been to Venice with this, what shall I call him, the "rebound" guy, and , true to form, she's engaged again.
It gets worse. She's already set the date and booked the venue. Venice (naturally), end of July.
Now, we're all already going to Italy for a week at the end of June for my partners 40th. NOW said sister-in-law wants me to go on her hen weekend to Barcelona mid-July (what ever happened to a night down the pub with the girls?).
Would you go? How can I explain to her without offending that I don't want to? I can't afford it, I could just about wangle the time off at work, I can't even afford Venice but have no option there, I think she's mad.
Apparently she's booked the wedding so quick so she can't change her mind in the meantime. What is she on!!!
I really resent her hijacking all my holiday time and money by landing this on us. I am being really selfish?
My (future) sister-in-law is a serial engager. I mean, in her 32 years she's been engaged 6 times (never quite made it to the altar).
3 years ago she went to Sorrento with a guy she'd been dating 2 months. True to form, she came back engaged, with plans to marry in Sorrento. (He's engagement no.6, for the records). Anyway, the date never got set, they bought a house, and all seemed well. Then 3 months ago they split. These things happen, we all felt quite sad, including said sister-in-law.
This is a girl who can't stand being on her own, so it was no surprise when she said she was dating again. Nothing serious, just someone to hang out with, blah blah.
Anyway, she's just been to Venice with this, what shall I call him, the "rebound" guy, and , true to form, she's engaged again.
It gets worse. She's already set the date and booked the venue. Venice (naturally), end of July.
Now, we're all already going to Italy for a week at the end of June for my partners 40th. NOW said sister-in-law wants me to go on her hen weekend to Barcelona mid-July (what ever happened to a night down the pub with the girls?).
Would you go? How can I explain to her without offending that I don't want to? I can't afford it, I could just about wangle the time off at work, I can't even afford Venice but have no option there, I think she's mad.
Apparently she's booked the wedding so quick so she can't change her mind in the meantime. What is she on!!!
I really resent her hijacking all my holiday time and money by landing this on us. I am being really selfish?
May 18th, 2004, 11:41 AM
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You're letting this girl marry your brother?!!
There was an article about this in last month's Good Housekeeping. they reckon it costs about £9k to go to a wedding of this nature.
Give her a cheque for £8k and have a good fortnight's holiday somewhere yourself.
There was an article about this in last month's Good Housekeeping. they reckon it costs about £9k to go to a wedding of this nature.
Give her a cheque for £8k and have a good fortnight's holiday somewhere yourself.
May 18th, 2004, 11:42 AM
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No, you are not being selfish.
Given her track record, it all stands to be a big waste of time, money and energy. I bet one of them backs out.
Going to the local pub to be polite and not offend anyone is one easy to do thing, but flying all the way to Spain is a whole different situation.
Don't you have a very critical work assignment that prevents travel?
Given her track record, it all stands to be a big waste of time, money and energy. I bet one of them backs out.
Going to the local pub to be polite and not offend anyone is one easy to do thing, but flying all the way to Spain is a whole different situation.
Don't you have a very critical work assignment that prevents travel?
May 18th, 2004, 11:42 AM
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It sounds a little bit selfish on the sisters part, to me.
Maybe you can just tell her the truth, you cannot afford it?
Don't bring up the serial engagement part
Maybe she is mad but it sounds like she is having a good time ... this is her life, let her enjoy it.
I hope you get to go to the wedding though, Venice, sigh~
Good luck~
Maybe you can just tell her the truth, you cannot afford it?
Don't bring up the serial engagement part
Maybe she is mad but it sounds like she is having a good time ... this is her life, let her enjoy it.
I hope you get to go to the wedding though, Venice, sigh~
Good luck~
May 18th, 2004, 11:44 AM
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Not in my opinion. Rant away with us, but just tell her that you can't take additional time off work.
If she's your future SIL, does that make her brother your fiancé? Is he fine with whatever you do?
If she's your future SIL, does that make her brother your fiancé? Is he fine with whatever you do?
May 18th, 2004, 11:46 AM
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"What is she on!!!"....Ummm crack maybe! haha
LMAO! I am sorry but your story is hilarious! Who is your sis-in-law?
J-LO?
I dont think your being selfish at all. If you could afford the trip to Barcelona than why the hell not, you could humor her and at the same time enjoy yourself. But if you can't afford it, than tell her you've already made plans for Italy and will not have enough vacation time to go with her.
Good luck,
Nikkiz ;-)
P.S and thanks again for the laugh!
LMAO! I am sorry but your story is hilarious! Who is your sis-in-law?
J-LO?
I dont think your being selfish at all. If you could afford the trip to Barcelona than why the hell not, you could humor her and at the same time enjoy yourself. But if you can't afford it, than tell her you've already made plans for Italy and will not have enough vacation time to go with her.
Good luck,
Nikkiz ;-)
P.S and thanks again for the laugh!
May 18th, 2004, 11:49 AM
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sounds like this is your SO's sister?
anyway, sounds like you have good excuses, never her mind if they are not 100% true. tell her you cannot afford it but you would of course will be at her wedding, you wouldn't miss it for the world.
of course you are not being selfish. on the OTHER hand, hen parties away from home are a lot of fun, I've gotten on planes to attend a few and they tend to be great times!
anyway, sounds like you have good excuses, never her mind if they are not 100% true. tell her you cannot afford it but you would of course will be at her wedding, you wouldn't miss it for the world.
of course you are not being selfish. on the OTHER hand, hen parties away from home are a lot of fun, I've gotten on planes to attend a few and they tend to be great times!
May 18th, 2004, 11:50 AM
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Oh, partner of mine is stuck in the family middle, as you'd expect. Parents think she's mad and selfish and they don't want to go to Venice (but then, they also have their own issues about travelling "abroad" which I won't go into).
Scarlet, you're right, I'm sure she is having a great time. The big worry is that she's already hinted that time is running out for her and she wants to start a family, and said rebound guy "would make a wonderful father" (like she knows...). GREAT reason to marry a virtual stranger.
That pressing work assignment is sounding very compelling...
Scarlet, you're right, I'm sure she is having a great time. The big worry is that she's already hinted that time is running out for her and she wants to start a family, and said rebound guy "would make a wonderful father" (like she knows...). GREAT reason to marry a virtual stranger.
That pressing work assignment is sounding very compelling...
May 18th, 2004, 11:53 AM
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Kate tell her you are happy for her, you'll go to the wedding but the hen party is an impossibility due to finances and work obligations. You don't want to be fired.
She may not know what she is doing.
Take care of yourself and have fun. We'll look forward to hearing about the wedding.
She may not know what she is doing.
Take care of yourself and have fun. We'll look forward to hearing about the wedding.
May 18th, 2004, 11:53 AM
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hey flygirl is that you? This is Gorringe of London here. I do love travelling, but do like to do it on my own terms.
And to bring it back to a Fodors travel question, what the h*ll am I going to wear??
And to bring it back to a Fodors travel question, what the h*ll am I going to wear??
May 18th, 2004, 12:00 PM
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Kate,
Sounds like your future s-i-l is rivaling Liz Taylor-maybe she has the same philosophy about marriage
. No, I don't think you have to go to Barcelona-that's an awful lot to expect in both money and vacation time. But take heart in the fact that at least she's got good taste in places, my s-i-law got married in Dallas and the other in Atlanta! I'll take Barcelona and Venice anyday!
Sounds like your future s-i-l is rivaling Liz Taylor-maybe she has the same philosophy about marriage
. No, I don't think you have to go to Barcelona-that's an awful lot to expect in both money and vacation time. But take heart in the fact that at least she's got good taste in places, my s-i-law got married in Dallas and the other in Atlanta! I'll take Barcelona and Venice anyday!
May 18th, 2004, 12:04 PM
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Kate, Kate, Kate, wake up, smell the gelati, this is your sister-in-law, not some flighty fluff, and nothing is bondier than the bond of blood and love. Of course you must go, so put on your game face and get your hen attire to the cleaners. It's going to be a party of pent up emotions - she is finally doing it!!! And Barcelona and Venice, how can you miss those venues for party-time! You'll be kicking yourself forever if you pull a no-show. Have fun, and post a report!
Next?
Next?
May 18th, 2004, 12:19 PM
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Kate
Sounds like your 'future' SIL is having a great time. Dont attach too much importance on the upcoming nuptuals -- its kinda doubtful that they will occur. Seems to me that SO needs to handle this one -- if you do, there will probably be repercussions. You are not being selfish -- for that matter neither is the nut case. When you get time look up the term egocentrism. It will shed light on why your future SIL is the way she is. I would suggest an appointmemt with someone but egocentrics NEVER change. Thanks for your post.
Sounds like your 'future' SIL is having a great time. Dont attach too much importance on the upcoming nuptuals -- its kinda doubtful that they will occur. Seems to me that SO needs to handle this one -- if you do, there will probably be repercussions. You are not being selfish -- for that matter neither is the nut case. When you get time look up the term egocentrism. It will shed light on why your future SIL is the way she is. I would suggest an appointmemt with someone but egocentrics NEVER change. Thanks for your post.
May 18th, 2004, 12:26 PM
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There are couples who have known each other for years and years, who marry then divorce right away.
Then there are those who meet, marry and live long happy lives together..
I don't think that really makes the difference in the success of a marriage, This guy really might be the One!
Stranger things have happened~
Then there are those who meet, marry and live long happy lives together..
I don't think that really makes the difference in the success of a marriage, This guy really might be the One!
Stranger things have happened~
May 18th, 2004, 12:41 PM
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The amount of money spent on a wedding bash is often inversely proportionate to the amount of time the couple stays together.
Kate, Faux would be glad to give you travel advice, but only you know what the dynamics of your family demand. What you want opinions on cannot be dealt with on a travel message board. Family therapy, perhaps?
Kate, Faux would be glad to give you travel advice, but only you know what the dynamics of your family demand. What you want opinions on cannot be dealt with on a travel message board. Family therapy, perhaps?
