Okay, mabye I wasn't clear as I should have been when I first posted my question. What I was asking was has this ever happened to anyone else and are European men more aggressive here than America and am I the only one who experienced this? <BR>I don't understand why some of these posters are so hostile. If you look on the Fodors posting you see ...."no rudeness." <BR>I am an intelligent 17 year old girl and I visit this Fodors forum quite often, and the other questions I've asked have been quite mature. <BR> <BR>All of you with rude comments, do not respond. Rudeness is not the objective of the Fodor's collum. <BR> <BR>Sincerely, Becky

I am sorry you were hurt Becky. Its a fact of life so get use to it. You must admit, it was a fairly immature question. This is a travel site - mainly frequented by adults and more mature people. I am sure there are plenty of teenage gossip sites, where they'll want to know all about your experience. By the way - one word of advice. If you got that excited over your episode in France - you'll have a coronary in Italy! <BR>No offence intended - except perhaps "harden up"

In regards to the rudeness, this site is often visited by Americans!!! nuff said! <BR> <BR>Anyways, I think the Italians and the French are more affectionate. The british are quite conservative when it comes to approaching women - however, there is always the exceptions. While in England, I was on the tube, and this guy stared and stared and stared. I thought he had a problem, but I just smiled back. When I got off at the Covent Gardens stop, he got off too, and then proceeded to ask me out. It was sorta creapy, but flattering...

I come here for travel help, not teenage petty questions and responses. I dont think this has any relation to travel whatsoever. It should probably be posted in maybe a teenage or relatonships forum - not in Fodors. <BR> <BR>Thanks

Becky, I believe your question is well within the bounds of what we construe as 'travel' in this forum. If haggis in a tube can be, why not this? We have fun here, and rudeness too,sometimes, but very human behavior displayed at all times, within a wide range, no matter whose nationality or place of origin. And yes, I do think your rephrasing youroriginal posting does help. Although, obviously, some other people don't think so. But, hey, that's life. Someone I work with reads Fodors all the time but won't post because she's afraid of having someone take a dig at her. She's three times older than you are, so consider yourself brave and hang in there. Great stuff.

Becky, <BR>I think you have a very valid question. I too felt that the first time I went to France, the men were very aggressive. I was stared at, wink at,pinched several times, blown kisses to, etc., all while simply passing men on the street, literally! By the way I was wearing sweatshirts and loose jeans! That was back in 1985. I was a bit concerned and asked the other American girls back at the hotel if they had the same problem and they did too. My last trip to Paris last year at the age of 37, proved to be almost the same as all my other trips there. When my husband crossed the street at the Arch de Triomphe to take pictures I had a man come over and try to pick me up in a matter of 2 mins! I am now used to it when in France. I know it is frightening at first, this is why you ask I am sure. So yes, indeed it is a very mature question to be concerned over strange men's advances. Hope this helps. <BR>

Sarah, that was a rather feeble attempt at a joke. And in the US, there is a word for someone who attributes a particular characteristic to an entire class of people: a bigot. <BR> <BR>But what is especially funny is that your generalization about American rudeness is, itself, quintessential rudeness. Welcome to the club.

Funny, I dont recall trying to make a joke in the first place. I'm stating that, all of you who are acting hostile to Becky's question, are most likely to be americans. Not all americans are rude, but people do make generalizations by just a couple members of a society. I feel that any culture can act rudely...whether you're British, american, German...whatever! Oh, and I'm not a bigot..I'm an american also!

Sarah...your comment implied that one should expect rudeness from Americans. How is such a generalization anything but rude itself? You've just categorized an entire nation of people as rude. <BR> <BR>While I do sometimes cringe when I see the behavior of some of my countrypeople abroad, poor behavior is not limited to Americans, nor do all (or even most) Americans behave poorly overseas. The rude ones are just the ones that get noticed; the multitudes of polite Americans pass unnoticed because one tends to notice rudeness, not common courtesy. <BR> <BR>And Sarah...simply because you're an American doesn't mean you can't make bigoted statements about your fellow Americans. So all Americans are rude...except you?

It seems to me that it's not too "intelligent" for a nearly naked 17-year old girl to be "playing" in a pool with a nearly naked strange man...

Go easy on her, my God she's 17. Remember when you were that age? You looked at life very differently. It seems that at that age Boys (Men) are more important than just about anything else. It wasn't but a few years ago that I went to Italy alone and met men literally everywhere I went. Several even saved me from being acosted by Gypsys. I met some absolutely fabulous men, and a few that weren't. Needless to say, I had the time of my life! Becky, just be careful. <BR>

THanks for the above statement!! If Becky wasnt in the pool playing water tag or whatever with a strange Frenchman, then she wouldnt have had that problem. Some girls that have no idea how foreign men can be sometimes, have to business going overseas. Doing international travel isnt for the extremely naive, as i have experienced.

Maybe Trisha, that is why Becky asked the question in the first place. In order to get advice from people like you who have experience. <BR> <BR>It is unfortunate that you resort to chastisement rather than just offering advice.

What bizarre, extreme reactions to a relatively innocuous question! Becky never indicated any lewd behaviour/dress on her part and doesn't warrant the amount of condescension, antagonism, or scolding that has been posted. As someone else mentioned, she was simply seeking reassurance and information - just like all the people who post messages about what clothing to wear, street crime, attitudes, etc. <BR> <BR>Based on some of these responses, you'd think traveling was reserved only for those who are mature and worldly enough to act appropriately. Bah, humbug!

Right on, Vickie! Some of these "moralists" are a bit much. But, then again, forum is not short of so-called experts is it!

Thanks Howard! <BR>Thanks to my experience, I know now what to do if someone is making me feel uncomfterable with his unwanted advances. I'll tell him "no" and if that doesn't work, a good little smack should get my message across. I am not an advocate of violence, but my mother told me that if you tell a man (or boy) "no" and he dosen't stop, you have every right to give him a little smack. <BR>this is just my opinion.

One other thing I noticed: One of the posters posted that I must "have not been very intelligent for a nearly naked 17 year old girl..." Excuse me, but I was not wearing a bikini or topless on a French beach. I was in a public pool wearing a conservative one-piece black bathing suit. I just thought of this: Is it possibe that in this moderen age that there is still a double standard for women? It seems that (just my opinon) that if a guy flirts or something it's a "boys will be boys", but if a girl does that, she's a harlot.

Becky, you might want to rethink your plan about giving a guy who won't stop coming on to you "a little smack." Not that said guy wouldn't necessarily deserve it--but unless you are prepared to physically defend yourself against an angry guy about whom you know absolutely nothing except that he won't take no for an answer, I'd say it's pretty unwise to provoke someone in that situation. (Particularly if you're overseas, where you are less familiar with everything from social customs to how the police work.) <BR> <BR>If a guy continues to pursue you after you've firmly declared "NO" (understood in all languages, particularly with the appropriate gesture(s) and/or facial expression), and you're starting to feel threatened or just extremely uncomfortable, your safest and smartest course of action is to either remove yourself from the situation (walk, don't run, away), or find some help. I'm told by women who've had harassment problems on European trains, for example, that they found their best option was to find one or more local women, preferably older and "mom"-like, and ask them for help. (Again, this kind of thing is easy to convey across language barriers, particularly if the guy's continuing to follow you.) <BR> <BR>By hitting a strange guy, you've just upped the stakes: bringing into it his manhood, his utterly unknown level of temper, the possibility that he is armed. I strongly advocate that women who travel (and women who don't travel as well, but particularly women travelling alone) learn how to physically defend themselves--but that doesn't mean it's wise to provoke a situation where physical self-defense is more likely to be necessary.

I wouldnt say you're a harlot, but I would say you were asking for trouble by playing in a swimming pool with a strange frenchman. I think men take the opportunity when they see that the female is interested. If you're laughing, giggling, and splashing water at him, etc., I think that would quality as flirting..and I'm sure he thought the same.

Becky you are an excellent troll.Keep it up.I am laughing my socks off. <BR>These Fodors people might think they know it all,but we know different!!!!