im the more adventurous international traveler, my wife is not. She wants a package tour with everything laid out ahead of time and an organized group tour. She will not listen to my idea of taking trains, renting cars, and wandering about on our own.

so, in an effort to keep her happy, I need to find a package tour. She has never been to Europe or has ever been out of the country. It was a major hurdle for her to get a passport, because she refused to leave the us in the past.

which package tours are good? Rome, Venice, and a couple of other places on a 9-12 day tour. She mentioned Pompeii too.

If anyone went on this this type of vacation, let me know. Which tour company do you advise?

I have to keep wifey happy. She is very stubborn, and not very adventurous.

So the best tours are? Is YMT tours good? Is there another one?

I will add that my first thought also was that a very stubborn person would find themselves having to give up that stubborness during the first hour of the tour. Having experienced an unreasonably stubborn sister, I have come to recognize that this is actually passive agressive behavior.

If you are willing to travel to her requirements, do a tour, but only after you have researched in detail and she fully understands what a group tour means!

if you do the tour and she has a great time, wonderful! Maybe some doors have been opened. If she comes back saying it was horrible and she will never go again, that can also be good - for you. You can travel solo and really enjoy trips in tue furture!

I sincerely hope you find a good fit and have a good time!

You have already got most advice I would have given and lots I had not thought of.
I will just include a bit from my own experiences. Wish your wife could understand that things can go wrong on a tour just the same as on your own, and when they do, you are in no position to fix them.

Because of circumstances, I have taken three, mostly bus, tours in Italy, France and Spain. While I enjoy almost any travel, I have to tell your wife that bus tours are the worst. Hours of time wasted seeing the country through the windows of a fast moving bus going down the highway is mostly horrible. Worse is being in the bus caught in a traffic jam. Though some do like them, HOHO bus tours through the middle of a city are equally bad.
At least, on a train, you have room to move around. Sometimes you have tables where you can eat, read, play a game, etc., and they are much faster than a bus.
A very big point for your wife: the three places you mention, Rome, Florence, Venice, are connected by very easy, fast trains. They go from city center to city center. Arriving in Venice and stepping out of the Santa Lucia Station to the sight of the Grand Canal right before you is surely a travel highlight.
Another point she might not realize is that DIY travel without a car is possible and easy in Europe, especally Italy, totally unlike the US where travel without a car in most places is actually impossible.

Where do you live? Can you take a short trip by bus so she would get a feeling for what it is like?

Besides just naming a few places, what are your wife's interests? Food, art, architecture, history culture, nature? Would she enjoy some hiking, cooking class, art museums, archeological sites? Perhaps, rather than a tour, you could visit one place with particular interests or experiences in mind: London with theater, museums, planned tours, etc., easier, one hotel, tours booked ahead.

I realize this is not the kind of tour you asked for and many will feel negative about the idea, but your wife might not and it could work for you to start. I still prefer DIY travel, but have done several cruises and enjoyed them a lot more than bus tours. At least you do the traveling at night, not during the day, leaving all the daylight hours for being in places. That is a huge plus! The same as a tour, you have to pick the right cruise line and an itinerary that has long days in port for sightseeing. You can choose to include an extra day or two in interesting places at the beginning and end. The cruise company can arrange that. It costs more than doing it yourself, but they can also arrange tours for each port. You could try it by doing a shorter, cheaper cruise from the US to the Caribbean, Mexico or the Bahamas. Caution, unless your wife is a party girl, don't do Carnival on a first cruise.
Not suggesting this one specifically, just an example of the possibilities.
https://www.vacationstogo.com/fastdeal.cfm?deal=35347