First, please excuse my profound ignorance on these issues.

Backstory: going to London with my 2 best girlfriends for our 30th birthdays in late June. I'm in the intinerary planning stages and I thought high tea might be fun for us. Suggested it in one of my weekly update emails and one of the girlfriends replied that she heard high tea dress attire is quite fancy. This concerned her since we were really only planning on bring casual attire (sneakers and flip-flop type shoes). I'll be honest, I'm not even really sure if I know what high tea is, but is there a place that we could have a sort of toned down high tea experience?

Then this same friend recommended that we do a Sunday mass at one of the historic churches. This is not really high on my list (none of us are church goers and it makes me feel awkward to go in this circumstance). Also, I would assume that mass attire should be pretty dressy too, am I correct?

Thanks so much for any input!

Chandra

I expect you're thinking of afternoon tea--high tea is quite different and more of a supper. Afternoon tea is tea, little sandwiches and cakes, sometimes scones and pastries. It's a good way to take you from lunch to the late dinner hour, especially if you go to the theater in the evening. You can find typical menus for the Ritz, Fortnum and Mason, and possibly Brown's Hotel and the Dorchester Hotel on line. It really is an experience you should have at least once!

Afternoon tea at someplace like the Ritz Hotel or others in its league requires a bit of dressing up. At other places it's less so, although sneakers and flip-flop shoes might be a bit too much on the casual side.

As for Sunday mass at one of the historic churches, do you mean a Roman Catholic or an Anglican church? Unless a service would have some meaning for you, just go see the church at a different time. Westminster Abbey is a must-see for a first visit to London.

If you were to put London Afternoon Tea in the Search Box at the top you will find a multitude of posts concerning all the aspects you are asking about!

When people dress up for afternoon tea, it is usually formal, but more than dressy, it is stylish: a nice pant suit, a nice dress, perhaps some coordinated set. . . we are not talking Easter frills or anything like that.

My mom and i went to the Ritz in London and I wore a really nice black cashmere sweater and blood red slacks with black high heels. I did my hair and make-up and carried a purse that coordinated with the outfit. I felt right at home.

Thanks for the replies. I did do a little searching before I posted, but I guess I was hoping to hear of a more casual way to enjoy the afternoon tea experience Afternoon tea does sound really great though and might induce us to pack some nicer clothes and shoes.

As for mass, I'm not quite sure which she was hoping to attend. When we were in Sevilla she attended mass at the cathedral while I wandered elsewhere. I might just let her do her own research on this. I was just more concerned about dress code for her. I do love visiting churches and cathedrals; I just don't feel comfortable attending services.

Thanks again everyone!

One of London's most extraordinary resources is the range and quality of choral music in its churches. A summary of each Sunday's offers, including the intended music, is in the previous day's paper edition of The Times: the online edition no longer seems to provide this in a helpful form, but there's a pretty indigestible list of churches that take music seriously at http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...043666,00.html. The paper edition also lists Eastern Orthodox churches, whose music is among London's best.

There is absolutely NO dress code for Sunday services at any British church, unless you're attending some kind of social event (like a christening) where the celebrators have their own code.

CotswoldScouser: Thanks so much for that link and information! Exactly what I was looking for! I really appreciate it! I will certainly look through it and forward on to my friend.

I have attended both RC and CofE services in London and there is no "dress code." However, there is some obvious correlation with quality of attire and postal code.

If your desire is to attend a church service, either for the spiritual refreshment or to admire the building, almost any clothing is suitable.

For a church service, I'd recommend an Evensong (traditional service done pretty much every night at many churches). It's shorter than many Sunday masses (no sermon), so if you're not churchgoing the religious part won't be as boring. It is still a church service, though, so if you're not Anglican (or whatever the church is, but in the UK it's most likely to be Anglican), either sit in the back and sit/stand respectfully, or follow what everyone else does if you're close enough religiously.

Oh, and for clothes, as pretty much everyone mentioned, dress code isn't very strict (it'd be nice if you weren't in shorts and a t-shirt, though they'd still let you in).

"dress code isn't very strict (it'd be nice if you weren't in shorts and a t-shirt, though they'd still let you in)."

Wrong.

There simply isn't a dress code. Strict, relaxed or anything else. It most certainly isn't "nice" if you're not wearing shorts and T-shirt: there's no-one on this earth empowered to make such a judgement and we can be fairly clear that God has more important things on Her mind to make judgements about. And there's no "they" to let you in or keep you out.

Dress codes of any kind simply have no place in British churches.

Excellent information! The nightly service might be just the compromise we were looking for! I know everyone has a different idea of casual, but I was planning on bringing a skirt to wear with my flip-flops as well as some slacks to wear with some fashionable sneakers. Again, thanks for all of the information, this really helps!

Scouser: OK, yes, there isn't a dress code, it's true. But at least in the churches I've been in in Britain, you would have looked somewhat out of place dressed extremely casually, regardless of what God thinks. I don't think the OP was asking what is the absolute minimum she could get away with, but what would be normal and have her fit in; showing up in a dirty tracksuit, a wifebeater, and shower shoes might be permitted, but it's hardly normal. And if you were entirely unsuitable to be in a church, raging, violently drunk or something, I am sure that "they", being ushers and the like, would manage to keep you out.

A skirt with flip flops or a slacks with nice sneakers would be more than adequate, and you would fit right in.

Cotswald: amen!

Sorry, but he visual image of me and my friends showing up to a church service in wifebeaters and raging, violent drunk really makes me giggle.

Well, I think the drunken aspect is another story, but if the celebrant and churchgoers are Christian, they should welcome all visitors with open arms---even those in "wifebeaters."

Bad taste is not yet a sin, and remember that even if it were, no sin is unforgiveable. (Except, perhaps, to mkingdom!!!)

Again, I'm not saying they won't let him/her in, just that, as a tourist, particularly one who isn't a practicing Anglican, it'd be less awkward if you are dressed decently, not that you'll be turned away (it's not Italy, after all). If you're the kind of confident tourist who goes everywhere wearing whatever you want and feels comfortable doing that, than by all means, wear what you please. Just trying to give a sense of what would be normal.

If you go to evensong, pick one with a good boy choir (eg St. Pauls, Westminster) and sit with everyone else - no reason to hang around at the back. You may even wind up sitting in the choir, the fanciest part of the church. Slacks & sneakers will be fine.

Also, for a less dressy tea, go to the Orangery at Kensington Palace. For me, it's not afternoon tea without scones & strawberry jam & clotted cream. Mmmmmm...

I have heard positive things from people who attended evensong at Westminster Abbey and at St. Paul's. Another option is the lunch concerts at places like St. Martin in the Fields, which is right in Trafalgar Square (National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery across the street) so you might be in the area.

We attended Sunday Mass at the Brompton Oratory, but we're Catholic so it was high on my list. I was in hiking boots (only shoes I can currently wear because of an annoying foot problem) and corduroys with nice sweater and scarf (obviously it was cold weather!) - and I fit right in.

Yeah, I guess I didn't really mean the back, just don't sit in the front row if you don't really know what is going on (unless you want everyone to see that you don't know what is going on). Somewhere in the middle is fine, too (depending on the arrangement of the church, there may not really be a back, anyway, particularly if the service is in the choir, where it's just two semi-grandstand sort of seating areas facing each other, not sure how better to describe it).