Yes, ira, Bnice apparently wanted that affirmation ("Isn't it just good manners ..."), and both of us provided just that.

If people believe they are entitled to a "thanks", whenever they offer advice on this board, they are misled. Our words of wisdom help others but don't expect a thanks. Know in your heart that you made a difference in another persons journey and that should be enough.

As someone who has made many an inadvertent faux pas in my life, I'd have to say that we have to understand that there are people who may stumble on to this board without knowing the "culture" that us frequent posters seem to have fostered. Kind of like the first time I went for a massage 12 years ago, I had NO IDEA I was supposed to tip the massage therapist. Now that I know better, I'm mortified that I didn't tip that first time.

I guess it's good manners to say thank you whether you are in cyberspace or not, but I don't think proper cyberspace etiquette has been defined yet for the larger population to appreciate. At least, not by Miss Manners or Tiffany's!

I don't expect a separate post thanking me every time I offer advice or an opinion on this board - since I hardly ever ask questions myself and almost always just post information or opinions, that would totally clutter the board. It's my decision to come here to post, and I assume people are grateful for the advice they get here -and let's face it, when they're not they let us know.

Private e-mails are another matter. If someone writes to me and asks me for my personal help with a trip, that's coming into MY space to ask a favor, as opposed to showing up on a public message board where I can choose to respond or not. It's good manners for me to respond to a private e-mail, and it's good manners for the requester to thank me for doing so.

In about a decade of receiving e-mails from people and sending them information, there are only two people I can remember who failed to respond with a thank you. One of them, of course, was someone for whom I had provided an extraordinarily detailed itinerary for a 2-week trip - live and learn. The other, it didn't matter, as it was basically a cut-and-paste answer for me, but I did make note that I wouldn't respond to further e-mails. By contrast, I have had loads and loads of post-trip e-mails from people telling me how this or that worked out for them, I've had people send me photographs of themselves at various sites I've recommended, I've had people mail me chocolate-covered walnuts, I've had people send me their photo albums....so, really, this isn't an issue for me. I've gotten more thanks than I ever could have imagined.

I was thinking that it would be nice if every time a poster here used a tip I gave, he or she would send me $5! Only kidding.

I don't post here to receive some sort of gratification or gratitude, although I will admit it is nice when we hear back from someone that some tip they got here did or did not work out.

Pre registration when I always included my email address, I used to get a lot of emails thanking me for information given. And once when I offered an unused 10 euro German phone card to the first person who asked for it, the recipient send me a Starbucks gift card for it. That was totally unexpected, but certainly a very nice gesture.

Once, when I offered to help someone using an unknown screen name (someone I knew)..and they continued to post as that person, hiding their real identity from me while I helped them. Later they confessed..trivial but not a good feeling to be duped.

We are supposed to tip massage therapists?????? Thanks, Melissa! :)

lol, seriously, I would not have known that, never had a massage.

I don't expect a thank you, but it is nice when you do get one but I feel this is a give, and I get back so much, forum., that there's no reason to complain, when we did post our email addresses, I did receive alot of things as a thank you. One was a book, I will always treasure and he knows who he is.
So this is a big thank you to all.

Because I post my hotmail address, I've gotten many nice responses both pre- & post-trip. Now and then someone a bit needy or not really traveling picks up on my comments. But more often I've had feedback from great people, who I would never have "met" if it were not for the travel boards.

A complete hoot :>, users used. Interesting thread.

Sometimes people email me for travel files, which I freely and frequently offer here. Sometimes they follow up with specific quesitons, and we have a dialogue which I enjoy, and I ask them to let me know how the trip went, so as to glean new information or confirm what I said. If they don't get back to me, I don't mind much, I didn't set up an obligation.

I only feel annoyed when a very few people have seemingly asked me to plan every detail of their trip, down to what time of day they should book their walking tour, or, almost, what they should have for breakfast. "Used" is too strong a word perhaps, and I think the point made above is that some people just aren't as tuned into the culture of message boards and of travel. In a few cases they are just very needy, or at least, very new, and if they weren't asking me to help them plan endless details, they'd be bugging some poor travel agent. Which I sometimes refer them to, or refer back to this forum, when I run out of ideas or interest.

I am always trying to "thank" the Wizards when asking the questions and receiving responces.
And I think we should thank people for help.
But on the other hand you never know after return whether this person can still pay for the internet connection, whether his wife ranaway with a frenchmen and he is MAD at you for talking him into going, or they just still outspaces with emotions.
So, forgive them and keep posts coming...

Of course acknowledgement is always welcome, not only here on Fodors but in life too, positive strokes and all that. However I have thought about this and reading, contributing and receiving advice and tips are all part of this extremely inexpensive hobby that we all share. I think we are really lucky to take part in travel talk, I have been lucky enough to receive fabulous advice and got to meet some of the advisors on a recent trip to Australia.
I think the very best an most meaningful thank you anyone can give on this site is to come back on line and offer their newly found wealth of experience to those other people asking the questions.

Muck
;-)

Welcome back, SoTraveler, back from Africa?

Sorry, SoBeTraveller , lol~

Many years ago my mother told me, "You can only be used if you allow it."

My only experience of feeling "used" was when a distinguished member of this board tried to sell me a half interest in the Hotel Bonaparte.

I think you raise a good point, Bnice. I ask so many questions on this board, about many different aspects of travel, and I always get responces that are well thought out. For example, when the visa system for a country gets be baffled, I often choose to post a question on the Fodors board before I ring the Consulates, because you get a much clearer and nicer responce here. My way of saying thanks for your help is to try to answer questions on my home town or places I have visited. Give a little, take a little, I think.

ah, thx, dear scarletto, you're a bit abreast, but no, the calendar doesn't move quite that quickly, but tick tock. Immediate Q is fish with mama or pacific'o ... ah, some decisions are fun! and that's no joke, lol~ :>

I've always gotten at least a thank you when I've answered direct email questions. But the stars are the ones who write again after the trip. I really like to know whether my advice was useful, whether things have changed in that location, whether the hotel or restaurant is still good or has gone downhill.

I don't think everyone needs to post a trip report. How many times do you want to read about someone's first trip to Paris? I think it is more useful, especially for future searches, when people post about a specific activity or recommendation.

Anyone who asks for assistance on this forum and never comes back to the thread to say thank you is hereby condemned to Miss Manners special section of hell. I can only imagine what the rest of their life is like.