Sending people information meets some psychological need of your own and the other person owes you nothing. If you do anything for anyone solely on the expectation of gratitutde, you are doing it for the wrong reason and have no reason to feel "used."

After more consideration,
I would like thank all those who posted replies to my queries.
In particular, I had concerns about a 90 minute transfer from American Airlines to BA at Heathrow. Thank you Flanneruk for your detailed explanation. I had printed it out and had it with me during the transfer. You were correct, it was really quite easy, except the elevator and escalator were not working, so we had to carry our bags down stairs to the shuttle, but it really was easy.
Thanks to Bobthe Navigator for recommending La Grotta in Montepulciano, great restaurant in a lovely town.

While it would be nice for a thank you, I never expect it..

I post for the fun of giving people the correct advice and helping them....

IF I was emailing someone back and forth personally, then YES , a thank you is the polite thing to do...

But things may have happened to prevent this- ie,computer problems,home problems etc..Ya never know...

Just breath a little easier and not let it get to you...

Tis better to give than to receive.

Any kind gesture that longs for acknowledgment is nothing more than a form of manipulation, an act demanding a response. If you can't give love without a condition then you shouldn't expect to be loved in return.

Of course, this doesn't excuse bad manners.

The board is its own thank you - - the chance to be part of this vibrant and active exchange. If newbies never return or say thanks or post a trip report, they have still "served their purpose" to keep the new questions coming in - - so that there is a reason for new answers to be provided.

I provide some (often minimal) answer to those who write me with questions by e-mail, but I am quick to send them back here, and point out that asking private questions will essentially undermine the forum. The issue of "bad" advice is particularly relevant on this score; a public answer is inherently subject to the "cross-examination" that occurs here.

Private e-mail has its place, for personal subjects, for "off (travel) topic" issues or matters not likely to be of value to others. If you have corresponded more than once before with someone before a trip, I see nothing out of pace to writing them a month after the trip is over, and asking - - "how was your trip?"

Best wishes,

Rex

One more opinion--I can't speak to emails and have to say I would not directly email any "fodorite" but would only use this msg board--but I think this board has a sort of "pay it forward" use. I personally would thank someone who had given me good advice, but I think the best "thank you" is to keep the chain of help to others going along--sort of doing something nice as being its own reward. That way a sense of community is created that does not rely on the "manners" of any particular individual.

Wow, NYCFoodSnob, these are for you: ((y)) ((y)) and >:D<

As NYCFS and others have aptly stated, a thank you is merely common courtesy, whether in cyberspace or real life.

What I find intensely annoying are those few who feel the need to include questions regarding every minute detail of their upcoming trip, their planning status, their packing status, their shopping status, etc. These people also feel the need to include extraneous, non-travel related details regarding their life, and those of their husband, children, parents...

It appears that these people post "just to hear their own voices." So much can be gleaned from this site by just reading. AND, IT'S O.K. TO HAVE AN UNEXPRESSED THOUGHT.

It would seem Ira, Bob the Navigator and I are peers. Evidently it is a generational thing. Thank you seems little to ask in return for helping someone, and in my book falls in the realm of good manners.

To me it has nothing to do with being a control freak. or arguing against giving is better than receiving. While I admit I've spent many pleasant hours on this board, both giving and receiving travel information, I can't equate the privilege of using the board with thanks enough for contributing.

I don't feel "used" only disappointed perhaps that lengthy info I've given by personal e-mail wasn't even acknowledged. You have the feeling "is anybody out there?" Nothing I lose sleep over mind you.

I guess a response wouldn't even have to be "thank you," but it would be nice to have a return comment on a thread one has contributed to to see something like "will look into the hotel you suggested," "good advice, now understand the train situation," or something similar.

platzer: <i>If you do anything for anyone solely on the expectation of gratitutde, you are doing it for the wrong reason and have no reason to feel &quot;used.&quot;</i>

NYCFS: <i>Any kind gesture that longs for acknowledgment is nothing more than a form of manipulation, an act demanding a response. . . Of course, this doesn't excuse bad manners.</i>

I think both of these comments make a good point, that the act of giving should, ideally, be its own reward. On the other hand, I think there are few, if any, people who give who wouldn't appreciate a simple &quot;thank you&quot; in return.

Emails may be a different matter but on this forum I never expect a &quot;thank you.&quot;

Good, thought-provoking question, Bnice, and I really enjoyed reading the various responses.

Thank you, everyone. :)

&gt;..apparently what you want is affirmation that practicing good manners means saying &quot;thank you&quot;.&lt;

That requires affirmation?

&gt;...I have provided information and opinions since I joined recently. I felt that was my way of saying &quot;thanks&quot;.&lt;

Why is that in lieu of and not in addition to a &quot;thank you&quot;?

If we met on the street and you asked for directions, which I gave you, would you not say &quot;thank you&quot;?

Perhaps some people were never thought to say Thank You...

&gt;Sending people information meets some psychological need of your own and the other person owes you nothing.&lt;

I think that this says a lot about the person who posted this bit of balderdash.

So much for the Golden Rule.

Selfishly, I think it is appropriate to thank posters who have brought something useful to this board in the hopes that it encourages them to continue contributing. I've acknowledged threads that weren't my own because of excellent info.

It is also good manners.

When I read the original post, I thought Bnice meant someone pushing a trip s/he had commercial interest in. It did happen to me 2 years ago. I got over it, but am a bit wary of communicating directly with others met on this board.

Bobthenavigator: &quot;I think it may be a generational difference. Those who have grown up in cyberspace seem to be the ones that expect gratification.&quot;

This is a ridiculous generalization. On what do you base this belief that the younger generation has monopoly on an expectation of gratification? I find that most of the inconsiderate, obnoxious, and down right mean posts on this board are the work of those over 40. It seems to me it is usually the backpackers, hostelers, and low-end travelers (typically younger folks) on this board and others are the most grateful and more often than not express their appreciation. In addition, my observations reveal that the post-babyboomer generations are more likely to stand and give up a seat on buses or metros, stop and pick up something that someone may have dropped, or hold doors open for others. Please do not take this as a direct assault however I think your assertions regarding younger people are distinctly incorrect.

Yikes--I've never ever posted a trip report (although I've been working on one from last year's trip to Languedoc for, oh. . . ten months).

Sometimes Trip Reports strike me as a bit narcissistic and that has held me back, although I have to say I have learned a lot from others.

I also worry a bit about posting one--the &quot;bite&quot; on this board can be pretty sharp (just ask any person who admits to eating at McDonald's in Paris. . . )

I tend to thank when the advice is given, but I can see how it would be appreciated to come back and say thanks for any particularly helpful advice after the experience (also a good thing to do for archival purposes).

I will not debate my point, but I will clarify it. A better choice of words would not have been &quot; gratification&quot; but EXPECTATION. It seems to me that younger people are more expectant of getting information from this medium. It has been the norm most of their lives. Does that make more sense?

This thread is interesting. I had a different idea about why most of these &quot;regulars&quot; posted. Maybe it is just my mood today, but I seem to feel an undercurrent of resentment here.