Experience British haut cuisine at its best.
Dine at an Aberdeen Steakhouse or a Little Chef.
Stict dress codes apply at each venu.

Here are a few more....

The Elephant and Castle is named for it's two outstanding attractions - a world-class zoo and fabulous medieval castle.

Americans: Europeans will be fooled by the simple ruse of sewing a maple leaf flag to your back-pack. They will be gulled into ignoring your american accents, mad american shorts, american hair and sneakers.

Brits: Other countries CAN make tea properly. They just do it that way to annoy you.

If Rick Steves says that something is "off the beaten track" it will be practically deserted. After all he doesn't sell more than a few dozen of those books.

Grovesnor Square is a great place for a pic-nic. Make sure you take plenty of bags and boxes, for your convenience.

Cockermouth is a place not a suggestion.

I spent my entire childhood believing what my father told me about wasps. The ones with yellow stripes on black won't hurt you. It's the ones with black stripes on yellow you have to watch out for.

But it did distract me from worrying.

In Parisian cafés, make sure you avail of the free foot spas known as "toilettes turques".

In most parts of Europe, it is appropriate to barter for food and lodging by offering second-hand Levis jeans, sneakers, baseball caps, CDs, pens and other luxury items which are unavailable in the EU.

In Scotland, when visiting pubs in Edinburg or Glass-cow (note correct pronunciation), make sure you ask for Coke and plenty of ice in your single malt whisky.

If you need a light snack between meals in Edinburg, make sure you visit a fish and chip shop, where you should order a pizza supper with salt & sauce.

All Scottish people secretly wish they were English. Show your support by reminding Scots of this fact whenever you meet one.

After the recent London bombings, the taxi drivers need somthing to amuse them.
Provoke merry banter by taking a flash photograph of a quaint notice in the back of the cab.
Don't spoil the surprise by warning him beforehand.

BTW, I saw a blog where somebody took this advice.

I forgot to mention another photography rule.
In Trafalgar Square, do not offend anyone by omitting to take their photograph preferably in close-up.
Pay special attention to their children.

The Guards at St James's Palace are trained not to be ticklish, and welcome a refresher course....

There is an old French tradition to be deeply concerned for their family's welfare, and so it is customary to respond to any enquiry as to one's own wellbeing ("Comment allez-vous?") with friendly good wishes for the health of their sisters, with the familiar phrase "..et ta soeur"

LOL!

Of course, this friendly enquiry is often exchanged between car drivers.

Although we don't celebrate European holidays, the Europeans celebrate ALL of the American national holidays such as MLK Day, President's Day, and Thanksgiving. The 4th of July is especially popular in the UK.

(Remember that thread where the lady asked about 4th of July celebrations in Amsterdam?)

Crossword puzzles (and nowadays Sudoku) are a traditional ice-breaker on public transport in Britain. Puzzlers will be only too happy if you lean over and fill in the blanks for them - with their pencils, of course.

London cabbies really want you to pay with Scottish Pounds - they attract a premium

The French and Italians envy of the fact that Americans can get a Starbucks coffee at any corner as it taste so much better than the coffee they can back at home.

Yeah - that the Barracuda restaurant in Nice was a great place for dinner, yes if you want to eat with a bunch of Americans eating frozen entrees and frozen pizza dough - YUCK!!

The euro is used everywhere in the European Union. If a country doesn't use the euro, that means they are not part of the EU.

(I cannot tell you how many times I've had this arguement with non-travelers)

You cannot possibly see anything meaningful in Europe without a rental car.

You have to call the office every single day while you are on vacation because if you don't the sun won't come up ever again.

Railpasses are always a rip-off no matter what.

Rooms that are "perfectly acceptable" are just as good as the ones in 4-star hotels.

No Europeans ever go to Starbucks, KFC, or Mickey D's stores in Europe; those places are supported entirely by American tourists and they actually close down completely in the "low season."

Europeans are extremely interested in American Foreign Policy.

Mention your opinions on Iraq every chance you get.

hdm: No, I just live in a state that borders Canada, but one of my bosses is Canadian as well as several of the people in the lab where I work. I was once even mistaken for a Canadian in Florida. Somehow, that seemed much nicer to hear than "Oh, you have that Minnesota accent!" (Fargo, you know.) ;)

In Paris:

On the Metro, always transfer at Chatelet. It's always easiest there.

The higher the number, the better the Arrondisement (it's a ranking system). That's why all the savvy tourists stay in the 17th or 19th and avoid the 4th. Never stay in the 1st, it's dangerous.

It's rude to speak to strangers in France. Never greet shopkeepers when yuou enter the store.

Small children can be left unattended in the automatic toilets found on sidewalks.

Speaking of restrooms, French citizens pay a special bathroom tax of 40 eurocents when they use the facilities. This tax does not apply to foreigners. Make sure you remind the attendant you are American if they try to charge you.

When ordering wine, don't drink the house red or white. French people never do.

Paris is very noisy. Make sure to speak very loudly or your traveling companions won't be able to hear you.

The Louvre is mainly filled with crap. Once you see the Mona Lisa (French name: Le Mona Lisa), take off.

Make sure to see the Louvre and the Musee d'Orsay in the same day.

If you meet an older person, they love to talk about World War II. Ask them if they or their spouse had a 'shaved head', that's slang for being in the Resistance.

Don't take any crap from police, call them foul names if they harass you. You can be more aggressive with French police than American ones, as French police don't carry guns and are very nonviolent.

In Amsterdam:

Dutch is very easy for English speakers to pronounce correctly. Learn it- you will need to as almost no one speaks English there.

The Dutch hate their obnoxious royal family. Complaining about the Queen will make you fast friends.

Make sure to go to Amsterdam during the weekend. It's loveliest on Saturday, especially along the Damrak.

As you may have heard, prostitution is legal. Most Dutch women do this as a side job for a little extra cash. Feel free to proposition anyone you see on the streets. It's OK to make jokes about the Queen doing this, everyone thinks this is very funny.

Amsterdam is huge, like Los Angeles or Houston. Rent a car! The bigger the better- you will want to be comfortable while commuting.

The food is terrible in Amsterdam. Your best bet is to go to an Indonesian restaurant. Order a Chow Mein or a Balti Curry. Stay away from anything else.

You may see some people on bicycles. They are welfare recipients who can't afford cars. Don't ride a bike- people will think you are a beggar.

There is one really fancy restaurant in Amsterdam- FEBO (pronounced fay-bow). Insist on eating there. People will try to talk you out of it because they will think you can't afford it. However, don't brag about how rich you are- the Dutch custom is to say you 'make just enough to afford it'.

There are almost no Muslims in the Netherlands, so Dutch people will be very interested in your opinions on Islamic terrorism.

You can't go wrong visiting the Sex Museum. It's suitable for small children. "Sex" is Dutch for "Fun". If people ask you how you like Amsterdam, tell them you are just there for sex. They will appreciate your efforts to speak their language.

Contrary to what you have heard, Marijuana is not legal in Amsterdam. Cocaine is, but only if you purchase it in the street, not from a shop.

Dutch people do not like Americans. If anyone asks you where you are from, tell them you are from a made-up country like Surinam.

If it appears the #20 tram is running late, keep waiting.

When in Scotland- if you are curious what the blokes where under their kilts , just walk up and ask!! No matter the age!
Laugh with the heartiest gusto when you order spotted dick for desert!! Everyone will think that is just darling!!!

Make sure you stand right in the middle of Tower Bridge and look down at the water especially if you are on a school tour and why not take a photo by one of the turrets

Always meet people outside Leicester Square tube station

Make sure you drop the use of the word "Street" or "Road" when talking about places in the UK - always useful when giving directions from Gloucester to Liverpool (or my personal favourite courtesy of Fox News the London bombings happened between Liverpool and Margate)

"Stonehedge" isn't worth it

London has the best fish and chips and it's best at a pub called Ye Olde Sherlock Holmes

BritRail run the UK railways

All English people take "high tea" in hotels

Scottish people really like to be called Scotch

Cardiff is a minor city in the west of England

Basildon is worth visiting for its thatched condos