A thread for deliberately bad and misleading advice.....
 

This is inspired by an answer on another similar message board to the question “Where are good places to see London at it’s greenest?” The reply was “As the names suggest both Willesden and Bethnal Greens are truly bucolic and Park Royal to London’s west is a match for it’s namesake at Versailles”

Needless to say this is not exactly kosher advice. So let’s have a deliberately bad advice thread.

A favourite I have also seen elsewhere is “It is polite when entering a tube carriage to shake hands with the other passengers”

And from the top of my head. “In Britain we drive on the left. Therefore that is the side of the escalator that you should stand on”

In France when you see a building called a "Hotel de Ville" it means it is a government run hotel to provide free board and lodging for visitors.

Any more?....

You are carrying foolishness and prankishness to an extreme. I hope no one will participate in this idiotic scheme.

My thoughts exactly, Wayne, well said.

We have plenty of "bad advice" threads on here already IMO without having to make any up.

If you're visiting Glastonbury, the last weekend in June is quite quiet
The fields around Longleat House are ideal for camping
If you're invited for a game of croquet, it's traditional to give your host a gift of a dozen moles
Millwall fans are known as 'Fairies'
Never attempt to tip a taxi driver
Try the famous echo in the strangers' gallery at the House of Commons or the other one in the British Museum Reading Room.
Any passer-by is welcome to intervene in a game of cricket

Aaw, come on - given the thread title it's not as though anyone is going to mistakenly assume the "advice" given is legit...

Where's everyone's sense of humour?

Hmmm... let me see... one I've come across on more than one occasion is the response given to requests for advice on which dishes to order at an Indian restaurant if one wants mild dishes... answers being Madras and Vindaloo varieties...

That's definitely not one of mine though since I feel a strange responsibility, being Indian, to help people enjoy the cuisine of my ancestral country!

I'm a little braindead today, will have to see if I can remember or think up some better examples.

Kate is usually fairly good at these kind of things, and Sheila too...

In a french McDonalds, not only is beer on sale, but they also have a pretty decent wine list - remember it's red for burgers and white for filet-o-fish (you don't want to look foolish after all). Just ask to see the Carte de vins, and don't take "non" for an answer.

There is no dress code in the pavilion at Lords.

Arsenal football club are affectionately known as the "Arses".

Also Americans are famed for their lively sense of humour.

The worst advice I ever heard came from a college professor of mine who hadn't traveled the world since the Korean War. He told the class that the US dollar is a universal currency and is readily accepted everywhere. I told him as politely as possible that this is not true, but he wouldn't believe me since it was accepted in Korea during the war.

Another bit of bad advice came from my father. I was in high school and it was the night before I was leaving for my first trip to Europe. He came into my room to tell me that people will treat me with respect because I'm an American. HA!! Needless to say, Dad had not traveled much in those days. He has since learned a few things.

When I first went to italy (Florence) as a schoolgirl, our over protective teacher told us
1) Don't even brush your teeth with the water, you will get ill
2) Don't ever say the word 'mafia'. It's very dangerous.

On my second trip to Italy (Rome) as a university student, my Professor said 'when crossing the road, don't look drivers in the eye. If they think you've seen them, they won't stop'. Actually, I think that still holds true...

That currency story sounds oddly famililar and similar to the one here about English being the "lingua franca of travel in Europe" and if it isn't spoken, it should be..and no, I did not make this one up.

I'm bored so I'll Play!

Always pay London bus drivers with a twenty pound note!

White sneakers and golfing shorts are ideal for tea at the Ritz.

The London Dungeons are fantastic, excellent value for money and shouldn't be missed.

On entering a London pub find a table and wait for the barman/barmaid to come over to take your drinks order.

Don't buy theatre tickets from the booth in Leicester Sq but wait till you get to the theatre and buy from the `touts' outside.

If you want a royal photo opportunity the Queen can often be seen doing her weekly shop in ASDA in the Old Kent Road.

A taxi ride costs £2 no matter the destination

Chivalry is alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on the Tube. Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the escalators or on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored Tube musicians.

Nude sunbathing is accepted and common practice in all of London's parks

Lol !
and in France well-mannered people eat frog legs with a fork, and snails with fingers ((a)) miam!

Don't bother to stamp your ticket when boarding a vaporetto in Venice.

Always travel with the largest note possible and expect change from vendors.

Everyone speaks English in Amsterdam.

It's OK to handle the produce in open air street markets.

There are no Italians in Venice.

There are only Americans on Rue Cler in Paris.

(these two are recent quotes from this board)

If you are a great-looking person wanting to get into the movies, go to LA, hang out at the hip coffee shops and you WILL be discovered.

See this thread:

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34661976

Yesterday my father, who doesn't have a computer, asked me to check the air prices to his destination, non-stop only.

As this would be a long flight which I'd definitely break up in 2 legs, I asked him, why only non-stop? His answer was: "because it's cheaper!!"

Now, who'd given him this advise?? NOT ME!!

From someone who had never left her house before my first solo trip into NYC as a teen:

<i>Wear your purse around your neck. People won't steal it because they'll have to strangle you first.<i></i></i>

My stepfather, who had never been outside the US, told me before I went to Europe that I should check in at the American Embassy in each country. (I was going to England, France, Switzerland, Italy, etc.)

I know it's not Europe, but I can't resist: You don't need a sweater or jacket in San Francisco in the summer. After all, it's California in August.

You should always be a thoughtful and helpful traveler by improving the countries you visit. A good way to do this is to keep telling everyone the correct way to do is the way we do it in the US of A.

Before going to Europe, change all of your travel money into Euro denominated Traveler's Checks.

You will get the best exchange rate.


If you will ride a train at all, buy a Railpass from Raileurope before you go, no matter what your itinerary.

A car is always the most convenient mode of transportation in Europe.

You do not need to make hotel reservations in advance if you are going between May and October. Winging it is much more fun, and you will be able to haggle for the best prices.

Wear black.