daveyheats

hey everybody<BR>Im 18 years old, and have been dreaming of going to Japan for as long as I can remember. Only now have I got the chance however, with me working part time for the last year to get some funds up together.<BR><BR>However, after asking my Dad (the traveller of the family) if it was ok me going alone, he said hed rather me go with someone. Of course, I would rather share the experience with someone, but due to my friends being broke, or not interested in Japan, that seems unlikely to happen.<BR><BR>So, Im in need of your help. My dads back from vacation in a week or so, and I intend to have a lengthy chat with him regarding the trip. What are your thoughts about a 18 year old going to Japan alone? Ive travlled quite a bit in my lifetime, but only with my Dad, never alone. Ive been learning the language for over a year now, and I personally feel the experience would be something to remember forever. I just need to get this across to my old man.<BR><BR>I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.<BR>dave<BR>[email protected]

nickn

It looks like either your Dad knows more about you or that he is not familiar with Japan.<BR>The easiest way would be to be a part of an exchange program, such as your sister city program, or as a part of a school trip. I have sent my kids to these and only reason why some kids couldn't go was the money issue.<BR>But this confines you to specific places.<BR>You'll have to find specific objections from your Dad; some are misconceptions, some have solutions, while some have no solutions. I have left my home before I was 18 to goto a college in another country by myself. Many of my friends at the college did the same thing. 18 years old, in itself, is not too young to travel on his own. On the otherhand, I also know several thrity something people who are too immature to travel on their own.<BR>

Ryan

As I don't view it as my place to question a parent's right to decide what is best for their child, I'll just give you a few things to consider. <BR><BR>Definately talk this over with your Dad. When doing so, you might want to keep in mind the following.<BR><BR>1) A child going off on their own, whether to school or on a trip for the first time, can be a major event for a parent. To some, it represents the beginning of a separation that occurs, a loss of dependence on the parent, by the child, if you will. A parent essentially has become less important to thier child, in some way. This is probably felt most when it is the oldest child or when it is the youngest. Keep in mind that your Dad's response may be triggerd by these kind of emotions.<BR><BR>2) If your father is concerned about your safety and maturity, explain the plusses and minuses of both. For example &quot;Japan has very low crime rates and I've already planned out hotels, etc.&quot; <BR><BR>3) Make sure he knows that you'll be responsible and will get help if you find yourself in a jam, like running out of money. Tell him how you plan on manging your money and that you'll seek help at the consulate if you have a problem. <BR><BR>One final thought, just remember that your father is just trying to do what he thinks is best for you. Someday, you'll probably find yourself in the same position.

PeterN_H

In making the case to your father, I'd argue:<BR><BR>There are few countries safer in the world than Japan<BR><BR>Many people who can speak no Japanese at all, navigate around Japan without difficulty. With a year's worth of Japanese language it should be really easy. In most of Japan it's only necessary to stop and look puzzled for a moment, and someone will ask if you need it. There are small police offices every two or three streets. The JNTO has offices in all major towns. There are several travel guides aimed at young, budget travellers, all full of good advice<BR><BR>Thousands of 18-year-olds do this kind of thing every year. Europe is swarming with teenagers on rail passes every summer, for instance; which leads to an important point:<BR><BR>If you travel to Japan on your own, you're unlikely to stay on your own for more than about five minutes, especially if you favour the minshuku and ryokan listed in the budget guides, or stay at youth hostels. Either you'll start travelling around with other foreigners, or very likely with some other young Japanese, which will add more to the experience than taking a friend from home. I'm still in touch with people met on such journeys, in many cases more than a decade after meeting them, and have been to stay with them in their own countries, and vice versa, many times.<BR><BR>This isn't entirely relevant, but personally I drove from England to eastern Turkey in a Land Rover when I was 18, well before Turkey was a recognized holiday destination, and while Yugoslavia (en route) was still a single Communist entity.<BR><BR>Back then the major concern of parents was communication if something happened. With the Internet allowing you to report in daily if necessary, that's hardly an issue now. Promising that you'll do so might help your case.<BR><BR>Peter N-H<BR>http://members.axion.net/~pnh/China.html

Florence

Bonjour Davey,<BR><BR>Make everything you can not to antagonise your dad. As Ryan has pointed out, a child's first trip abroad is a traumatic experience for a parent (it is still when you're 47, believe me - my parents still make a fuss everytime I leave town for more than half a day - LOL)<BR><BR>A few arguments for your dad: <BR><BR>- There is almost no drugs in Japan.<BR><BR>- Drinking age is 21 and the law is generally respected (recently retired sumo champion Takanohana had to dring ice tea instead of sake when he won his first championship in 91 or 92 ...).<BR><BR>- As others have pointed, there is not much crime either, at least of the sort a tourist might be involved in.<BR><BR>- the fact that you have some knowledge of the language is a bonus that further ensures you'll be safe and will make you appreciated by the Japanese.<BR><BR>Try to convince your dad to come visit this board and ask questions to Japan &quot;experts&quot;. I'll be personally delighted to tell him about the dozen or so of my kendo students who have been to Japan on their own when they were 18 or less ;-)

Florence

I forgot a point: if you're involved in a typical Japanese activity at home (martial arts, flower arrangement, tea ceremony, ...), there is a chance someone has a contact in Japan who could act as a &quot;guarantor&quot; during your stay.

mrwunrfl

<BR>I hope you've been doing some research. You ought to contact the JNTO www.jnto.or.jp for info about the places you want to visit. Ask about the rail passes. I got one brochure from them that described how to use the telephones to get help in English.<BR><BR>Here are some questions that you might be prepared to answer:<BR><BR>How do you know that you have enough money to fund the trip?<BR>Is it safe?<BR>Where will you stay, what will it cost, and how safe?<BR>What will you do if you lose all your money? cc?, passport?, return ticket? (get an e-ticket and you can't lose it).<BR>Where will you go?<BR>What will you do? <BR>Japan is so expensive!<BR>How will you get around? and is the transportation safe?<BR>You'll get lonely!<BR>Who/how/where do you get emergency help?<BR><BR>When you build your itinerary, leave out any plans for a solo night hike up Fuji-san. That is to say, there are several activities that you may be interested in that you wouldn't do solo anywhere. Rock climbing, maybe. Leave that out or find an organization or group that you can join.<BR><BR>Build an itinerary that considers costs, safety, and emergencies.<BR><BR>Get web e-mail access if you don't already have it. Scan your passport and take a printed copy with you. E-mail the passport image to yourself along with contact info so that you can get it on the web.<BR>

mrwunrfl

<BR>Corrrection:<BR>http://www.jnto.go.jp/

Pauline

In 1992 my 17 year old son headed to the UK /Europe for 3 weeks or so. Part of that trip was 'organised' , (other people involved) the rest of it was him, doing his own thing that he had arranged. <BR>He left Australia a 'teenager' and returned an 'adult'. <BR>People had said to me that international travel was the 'making' of their children. Yeah, sure......(my thoughts)<BR>I ate my words for about 6 months.<BR>Davey, I hope you get to Japan. Overseas travel is a great education, whether you are 18 or 88....<BR>Ask your dad what he would have wanted to do (in the same circumstances), at the same age??<BR>I hope you achieve your dream. Be it this year, or next.<BR>[email protected]

jayM

Hey davey,<BR><BR>I can sympathize- I'm a 19 year old female going to study at Kansai Gaidai in Japan next year and my main worry wasn't the registration process, it was my mom. She's really worried about me going over there but she also thinks it's going to be an awesome opportunity- totally supportive which is great(she's been reading the messageboards ;P love ya mom!). Here are some ideas from the orientation class though that might help you with your dad:<BR>*Find out about insurance- do you have it and does it cover you overseas? Not only is this important info, your dad might be impressed you were mature enough to find out.<BR>*See if you can find out where the nearest embassy is to the places you are going to visit.<BR>*Come up with some clear-cut, future-impacting reasons why you should go (i.e. develops self-reliance, expands your horizons and world views, great to put on a resume or college application, and the old favorite “it builds character”)<BR>The other replies pretty much covered everything else. Good luck!<BR><BR>P.S. - maybe I need to bone up on -my- research, but I thought the legal drinking age is 20? Can anyone clarify that for me?<BR>

hightide

Good advice JayM - you sound like a pretty mature 19 yr old. I'm sure your mom's worries are not from a lack of faith in your abilities but from the fact that in Japan she won't be able to protect you - but I bet she realizes that at this point in your life she can't protect you anywhere - even stateside. But moms will always worry - it's in their wiring! The points you made were great...hope davey reads them. Want to add one more: promise to write / email EVERY DAY!!! =)

mattsigel

<BR>Drinking age is definitely 20.<BR><BR>1)Rent a cell phone and promise to call at least once a day.<BR>2)As part of your trip, organize a homestay with a Japanese family.<BR>3)Buy a railpass from JTB BEFORE you leave (then ignore it and hitchhike everywhere...)<BR>4)Beg.