What restaurant terms would you ban?
 

There are some terms that only show up regarding restaurants, and I would happily ban the following:<BR><BR>tasty<BR>zesty<BR>delectable<BR> drenched<BR>smothered<BR>broasted<BR>lovingly prepared<BR>secret recipe<BR>down-home<BR>garni<BR> and of course, delicious (if it isn't, why serve it?)<BR><BR>Then there's:<BR>buoys and gulls<BR>muchachas and muchachos<BR>guys and dolls<BR><BR>and for the front (and, frankly, on this forum), let's never, ever see the word "eats" again! (Does anyone remember the Gahan Wilson cartoon of a diner set out in the desert with "EATS" on a big sign on the roof, with a gigantic alien monster coming over a hill toward the building, salivating?)<BR><BR>There must be more.....

fusion<BR>melange<BR>bistro<BR>brasserie <BR><BR>decadent<BR><BR>downtown <BR>uptown <BR>midtown

Mmmmmm....I think I would ban Logophobic from posting again.<BR>"Eats" is the quintessencial designation for diner food. And I see nothing wrong with tasty, smothered, secret recipe.....

I just may commit homocide on the next person who, in writing, pretentiously refers to a restaurant as an "eatery."<BR><BR>Yeah, right. Now there's a term you use in conversation every day at work: "So, what eatery are you planning to frequent for lunch?"<BR>

In the wine world:<BR>buttery<BR>plummy<BR>smooth<BR>full<BR>F ood:<BR>healthy (I really don't expect anything to be unhealthy)<BR>condensed<BR>naturally raised (since when do they go out and hunt a wild chicken?)<BR>satisfying<BR>home made (whose home?)<BR>

Flavorful. The waiter used this term about a Tilapia dish at a French bistro in Chicago the other night and I nearly gagged.

Fresh-killed

These are phrases more than terms but here goes anyway:<BR><BR>"cooked to your liking" (Translation: Order it the way you want, we'll cook it the way we want)<BR><BR>"Prepared to your specifications" (see above)<BR><BR>"exotic blend of herbs and spices" (Translation: No person in his right mind would put these things together)<BR><BR>And the uber pretentious "House-made"<BR><BR>Rod<BR><BR>

Coulis!

Can I inject a “term” which many waiters and waitresses seem to use so often I want to scream? It irks me to no ends when I ask for something and they respond, “No problem.” Well, it’d better not be a problem to bring me some more water or whatever else I may ask for!<BR><BR>I would much prefer they respond, “Certainly, right away.” –or something in that venue.<BR><BR>Happy Trails,<BR>Paul<BR>

I will respectively submit this to your "amusing" names for restrooms:<BR><BR>At Outback Steakhouse:<BR>Blokes and Shielas<BR><BR>This caused my 9 year old to return to the table to find out just which classification he fell under. <BR>

Logophobic, could you give us a menu description of your favorite meal?

The obligatory name for a restaurant in almost every beach community:<BR><BR>The Rusty Scupper<BR>The Fishin' Net<BR>The Captain's Table<BR>The Lobster Shanty<BR>The Skippers Rest <BR>The Crows Nest<BR>or anything with "Ye Olde'..."<BR><BR>I always avoid restaurants that advertise their food with a photo of a giant lobster. Who the hell eats a 5 pound lobster, anyway? Anytime I see that, I assume its a place for fat, showy Italian guys who wear alot of gold jewelry. "Hey, gimme the biggest freakin' lobster you got"

Here's what I hate: a hot cup of coffee, a hot cup of soup (I want the soup and the coffee hot, not the container). "Baked on the premises." What does that mean? Stirred up somewhere else, and plopped on a cookie sheet right here? Also, Ice Tea. It's Iced Tea.

Gourmet.... I hate that word. I have seen billboards for highway burger joints that use _that_ word, as well as real restaurants. There is absolutely no standard for its useage.<BR><BR>I once asked a pretentious young woman, what kind of cheese she had brought to our group picnic - she answered, 'it's a gourmet cheese'.

I hate seeing the following terms used to describe menu items:<BR><BR>Donkey-smothered<BR>Gargled<BR>rodent-infused<BR>diaperific<BR>oozing<BR>Jersey-fresh<BR>Clotted<BR>The maddest cow<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR>

Hey Boss… don’t quit your day job – a comedian you’re not.

Unfortunately, the lameness of his jokes is about equal to the quality of David Letterman these days.

Hand Carved

Wood fired<BR>Slow roasted<BR>hand picked (what, like we thought they picked them with their feet?)<BR>anything termed 'colossal'<BR><BR>Now here is my real rant: These places that have some lame theme about all the real life characters that name each dish because it's their favorite. You know the ones...Granny's cheesecake, or Uncle Sid's Oyster Pie. <BR><BR>(jump in anytime here folks)

Grilled Chicken, with home fried potatoes, and grilled mixed vegetables -$13.95<BR><BR>Wood-fired grilled Free Range Chicken with Sauteed Yukon Gold Potatoes, and a Grilled Vegetable Ratatouille - $24.95

I do not care what words they use to describe the food, so long as it tastes good. A restaurant could use the most unique, artful description ever thought of and it would still not make the food taste any better. Regarding the posting about wine words, I actually find words like buttery and plummy kind of useful in determining if I think I will like the wine and it it will go well with my food selection.

I must dissent....'the boss' was the only one who made me laugh on this post.<BR><BR>and I'd add:<BR><BR>NASCAR-approved<BR>Appalachian-style<BR>'from the Dahmer family recipe book'<BR>mob-style<BR>straight from the waters of Venice<BR>inspired by the WWF<BR>

Homemade.<BR><BR>No, it's not.<BR><BR>I'm not at home.

I love some of the contributions here!<BR><BR>My favorite meal? Grilled shrimp, artichokes, spinach with garlic, orange rice, and lime meringue pie. <BR><BR>For you? How about pate d'arachide avec scuppernong en gelee served on gently grilled pain de maison? (translate that, Sparky).

Add...<BR><BR>super-size<BR>biggie<BR>"house" salad

Some of the terms that people "don't understand" seem perfectly understandable to me. (It also seems some people are trying way too hard to be George Carlin):<BR><BR>Wood-fired: The oven burns wood, which makes a difference when baking pizza or bread.<BR><BR>Hand picked: Not picked by a machine (although I don't know why it matters).<BR><BR>Baked on the premises: Means they didn't buy if from an offsite bakery, which is supposed to indicate that the stuff is fresher.<BR><BR>Hand carved: Is supposed to mean that someone with a knife cuts the meat after you've ordered it, as opposed to using a slicing machine and cutting the meat ahead of time. You'll often hear the term at buffets where you ask the chef to cut your slice of roast beef.<BR><BR>And if you insist on "iced tea," do you also insist "iced cream"?

Logophobic, doesn't "gently grilled" fall under your original statement or I suppose that's how you serve your peanutbutter and jelly sandwhich.

The Boss's entry made me chuckle.

You know what I hate? When my dinner companions order using the whole name of the item -- for example, "I'll have the pan-seared salmon with baby carrots." If there's only on salmon on the menu, just order the SALMON, for Pete's sake.

Sorry to depart slightly from the topic, but I would ban these lines: <BR><BR>As you enter: "And do you have reservations with us this evening?" (No, if I did, I would have given you my name. Don't try to be so confrontational from the very get-go.)<BR><BR>While you are seated: "Have you eaten here at Wolfgang's before? OR: Do you know how it works here at Wolfgang's?" (What do I look like, an idiot? Yes, I know how it works: I sit down, I order from the menu and you speedily submit my order to the cook. Now beat haste or I'll smack you on the ass.)

I worked as a waitress during the OJ Simpson trial. A child seated at a table with her parents asked for a glass of OJ. Her Mom looked up and said sharply, "We don't call it that anymore!".

Ceaser Salad<BR><BR>What I wouldn't give to get a REAL Ceaser Salad. Dumping grated cheese, dressing and croutons on a bed of greens is NOT Ceaser Salad. And when they add the cucumber and tomato it puts me over the edge! Don't advertise what it is not.

Sheli:<BR><BR>Is a real "Ceasar Salad" the same thing as the more commonly served "Caeser Salad"?<BR><BR>

To Phrases,<BR><BR>Even worse, "And do you have reservations with us this evening", yet the dining room is only 1/4 full at 7:30 PM. Compliments of The Registry Resort, Naples, FL.

All of your replies are Simply Delish!

OK, I guess we have to educate the masses:<BR>When someone says, "Do you have reservations with us?" they're asking so they'll know if people who made reservations actually showed up, and then they can line-out their names on the reservations list.<BR>Or would you prefer: "Tell me your name so I can look at my reservations list and draw a line through your name"?

On a similar but different note, have you seen the latest dog food commercial where they say that the ingredients are "gently prepared"!? Christ! My dog wouldn't care if they were prepared by a chain-saw murderer. As long as it looks bad and smells worse he'll eat it!

LOL-dog lover, I agree! although I have been noticing that the fancy schmancy dog food I have been feeding my dog makes his breath smell like fish! They put Cod in it....ick ick, nothing worse than that hot fishy breath panting in your face!

Hey Boss, I think you meant "Caesar Salad," not "Caeser Salad." Don't you hate it when someone corrects you?<BR><BR>I personally hate the phrase "demi-glace." I think it's some kind of glaze, but it sounds more like an excuse to add another $7.50 to the cost of the entree.