What do you do when someone is aggressively pursuing a GRATUITY?
 

We've encountered this situation numerous times during our travels, and we are just wondering what other people do about it. If you have already paid for a service, such as a shuttle bus or a guided tour, and the provider of that service drops verbal hints or even goes as far as holding out their hand for a gratuity, what do you do? <BR> <BR>My husband will inevitably reach into his wallet, but I feel really irritated when I've paid for a service and am then pressured by service personnel to give them even more money. To me, a gratuity is something I give freely, if I feel the service warrants it, not because someone has their palm out in front of my face. I'm not the Queen tossing coins to the little people, for heaven's sake, just an average, middle-class person trying to vacation without breaking the bank or being asked to provide a living to service personnel because their employers won't pay them a living wage. <BR> <BR>In one instance we paid an admission fee, a camera fee, a parking fee, a tour fee, and were then held captive by the tour guide who told the group a sob story about how he scraped by earning a living on his tips, and suggested that everyone "help him out." <BR> <BR>We always get into an argument over this. What do the rest of you do?

Its a tough call: I usually give a small tip unless I the quality of the service was subpar; if the tippee was very helpful or informative etc I tip far more generously. I do not think that because you are not the queen or are middle-class that is particularly relevant. Tipping is a cost of traveling. I do think that the hard sell such as the tour guide provided unless it was done in a charming fashion should be rewarded---just give according to th e quality of the service. You and your spouse should just reach a compromise beforehand.

JM, might I ask if the example you gave was at the Taos Pueblo? The same thing happened to us there. However, we were very touched by that particular tour guide and dh gave her a nice tip. We weren't too happy however, that we payed to take some pics of the residents, then saw others freely snapping away, people we knew hadn't payed.

JM <BR>I feel the same way and my husband used to be just like yours. Recently be both agreed that only very excepitional service will be rewarded.

the key word here is "aggressively". A few years ago dh and I were visiting "Au Sable Chasm" in northeastern New York. Part of the tour involved a short boat ride. There was a large group of non-English speaking tourists that day, and dh and I were the only English speaking people on the boat. A boy of about 12 years of age volunteered to translate for his people. The driver of the boat said to the boy "be sure to tell them to give me a tip". The boy said "I don't know how to translate that". Boater said "well, do you know how to translate gratuity"? Boy said no. Boater became obviously annoyed with young boy. When the boat landed, boater helped dh and I off first (we were in 6th or 7th seat back) and held out his hand. We deliberately looked the other way. I kind of felt guilty, but the boater was so aggressive to the young boy that we didn't feel a tip was in order.

I understand your frustration. However, the fact of the matter is that many of these people DO rely on tips for income and ARE paid well below a living wage because they get tips. I have seen service people becoming more aggressive because more people who travel are not educated on tipping. Just like you need to tip a wait person in a restaurant, you need to budget to tip tour guides, etc.

Our grandson was a waiter for Russian Tea Room in NY some years agoand every night he brought home between $400 and $500. He worked 5 days a week making more than $2,000 in tips only. After that he was hired by another restaurant where he got even more. Then he finished medical school and right now is making much less at least for a while.

Whilst I always tip when I feel it is warranted the fact remains that people should be paid a fair wage/salary for the job they do. They should not have to rely on handouts ( charity ) from strangers which is really what 'tips' are.

I tought guides always get tipped. Am I wrong? <BR>

I also wondered if this occurred at the taos pueblo, probably the most obnoxious <BR>tipping exoerience of all time.

TIPS=TO INSURE PROMPT SERVICE <BR>They are a reward for providing a service above the norm. Unforunately, tips are not universal. I agree that everyone should be paid a decent wage, but what exactly is that? In the US it is $5.35 an hour. Tips on top of that is IMO a decent wage. Subtle hints are tacky. Holding your hand out is sleazy. And do not come after me if you think I did not give you enough!! <BR>If you deserve a tip you get one. PERIOD&gt;&gt;&gt;

I agree that it is annoying to be aggressively pursued for a tip, but it is true that in many areas service personnel are NOT paid a living wage--and please don't confuse the issue by including waiters in high-end restaurants here! I think most guides do expect a tip, and I am not totally uncomfortable if a suggested amount is mentioned, especially if the tour was interesting. We stayed in a B&B in Oaxaca, Mexico, which was very enjoyable. However, the last few days of our stay were marred by our breakfast waiter's constant reminders about tipping at the end of our stay, who to include, etc. Again, I don't enjoy being solicited, but I do think it is expected and mostly justified. Of course, in a perfect world employers would set the charges high enough to eliminate the need for tipping, instead of it being kind of a hidden charge to the customers.

Thanks for the responses, everyone. <BR> <BR>I wasn't going to mention Taos Pueblo by name, but obviously other people have had the same experience. After paying fee upon fee we were hearded into the pueblo church along with the rest of the group, the doors closed behind us, and before the tour had even STARTED the guide spent ten minutes telling everyone how and why they should tip him. I can tell you that I was not the only one with raised eyebrows and and a feeling of annoyance - it was written all over everyones' faces. But this tops it all -- at the end of the tour the guide launched into his tipping pitch again, and everyone, including me, scattered as rapidly as possible to take photos of the pueblo. Only my husband stayed behind and chatted with the guide. When he caught up with me he told me the guide was on a full scholarship to USC, which is someplace that I could certainly never afford to attend myself or send my own kids. Then I learned that DH tipped him! Grrrrr... <BR> <BR>Let me also explain about the "Queen tossing coins" comment, as it is a family thing. As a teenager, DH traveled with his parents to Australia to visit relatives. They left a tip on the table of a restaurant, and as they walked away, the waiter chased them down and returned the money, saying they didn't accept tips! DH's Australian relatives later explained to them that in that country, tipping is the equivalent of the monarch tossing coins to the "little people" and the Australians are too proud for that. Don't know if that is still the custom there but it was when DH was a teen. <BR> <BR>Let me also say that I have no problem tipping in a restaurant or so forth, but it seems that everyone has their hand out these days for everything, no matter what it is! I mean, what next, do I give the telephone operator my credit card so she can give herself a tip for providing me with a service? Do I tip every clerk at every counter in every store for their service? We once boarded a shuttle bus from an airport to the rental car area, because by design, the rental cars were several miles from the airport. We had no other way to get there. The minute we stepped aboard the bus the driver began not-so-subtley badgering us for a tip and continued the entire time. <BR> <BR>I worked in the service industry as a college student and would never in a million years have imagined badgering a customer to give me money. I work in a service-oriented position right now, and I deal with the public every day, but I certainly do not expect to be tipped for helping people. <BR> <BR>I personally equate this aggressive style of tip soliciting with aggressive pandhandling -- no difference. Thanks for your input, looking forward to reading more comments.

If I may use thread to ask something I've always rather wondered about... <BR>What about when all you have to bring to your hotel room is a light carry-on and the bell boy Insists on helping with it? Unless I have alot of luggage I am certainly capable of carrying my own carry-on to my room and opening the door myself. I will usually let them know I'm fine on my own and go about my business, but sometimes they just continue to insist upon helping me. In these cases I usually do not tip because I have already told them I don't need help. Do the hotels insist that these folks carry your bags or are these particular bell boys just aggresively pushing their services in hopes of making you feel quilty and getting a tip, regardless?

If someone is angling for a tip I give them one -- a verbal one. And the tip is: don't harass your customers for tips. You're far more likely to "catch flies with honey than vinegar" as we like to say in the South.

The answer to your question about the bellmen at hotels is yes. The hotels feel they are paying - although below min wage - the bellmen and want them to work, even if it is just a small bag. Also, many hotels use the bellmen as a tour guide to make sure you get to your room without getting lost (think Opryland Hotel) and to promote the hotel restaurants, shops, etc. <BR> The bellmen learn very quickly that if they don't carry something, they don't get tips.

A good portion of the bellmen's income comes from tips, but no, hotels do not insist that they carry your bags. We always do our own if we just have a couple of small things (and my husband works for a hotel company and runs a 500 room hotel). <BR> <BR>As for the restaurant, ice machine, facilities, and exit locations spiel, if you are staying in a AAA rated hotel, they insist that the bellman discuss all those things. If they fail to in front of one of AAA's anonymous inspectors, they are marked down for the omission! I know it may sound like he's "fishing" when he offers to fill your ice bucket, but he's not. If the offer is left out...oops another black mark.

My feeling is that I am not the employer of these people, so why the hell should I be paying their salaries? What a con game, that employers can pay service personnel next to nothing and expect their customers to not only foot the bill for rooms or food, but to pay the employees as well. Australia sounds like it has the right idea.

Thanks Jim well stated & if we all just stopped tipping what then, well the owners who do not pay their people enough without tips would probably not have any employees until they did at which time I'm sure the over all prices would go up,but then I would have the choice to deal with these people or not at least on an up front basis. <BR> The reason that a company uses tipped employees is to save on insurance (unemployment,workmans comp,etc) & if there is any money to be lost it is the employees not the employers.

We had a similar experience to the one described above on a Grayline day tour from Montreal to the Laurentians. The bus driver was emphatic about tipping. Most of the folks were Japanese. He went looking for the one who spoke the best English and directed that person to explain to all the others regarding tipping. He then followed up to ensure everyone had been told. And, the tour included a short boat tour, whereupon he re-emphasized tipping. I wouldn't have minded if he had made a brief announcement and requested one of the Japanese people to translate this to the others. But, I thought the over-emphasis and number of mentions was in very poor taste. Grayline tours are no bargain. And, this is the only driver we've encountered who "begged for tips". To me, tips for these services are optional. You tip when you've received extraordinary service. It's one thing to mention "gratuities are appreciated", but another to make everyone feel obligated, which in the case of our tour, had the opposite effect.