This thread was interesting but this line made me wonder.<BR>"As far as formal place settings, that obviously doesn't apply in a restuarant because the place wouldn't be set, as no one knows what you will order and thus what utensils you will need."<BR>I think the original poster was asking the question in perhaps a better class of restaurant than that which you are speaking of.<BR><BR>Obviously, begs the question of which type of restaurants you are familiar with, or rather, NOT familiar with?

Patrick:<BR>You pronounce it BEE-chay, I pronounce it BITCHY.<BR><BR>Your waiter obviously woke up confused and thought he was Parisian.

I have a similar question. We often go out to eat at nice restaurants here in Chicago and I always feel uncomfortable with my drink order. I dislike all red wines whether a merlot or cabernet or whatever. I tend to drink only very "light" fruity (not oaky) white wine. I usually order a glass when I sit down or at the bar while we are waiting for a table. I am a red meat eater and I know that red wine goes with that, I just don't like it. Consequently when I order a second glass of my white wine for my dinner, I always get looked down on by the foodies and the waiter as if I am a country bumpkin (I'm from Kentucky originally and still have a strong accent) who doesn't know how to order properly.<BR><BR>It just makes me feel so uncomfortable that oftentimes, I just end up drinking bottled water with my dinner. Is it truply improper to continue with the light fruity wine through dinner (especially with a steak)?

I just have to say, you all worry too much. If I'm out to dinner it is to relax and unwind. If I'm in the mood for wine, I drink wine, if I'm in the mood for my usual vodka drink, I have that. I don't care how the wait person looks or feels about it. I'm paying, my rules. This goes for ALL restaurants.

Agree I'm gonna. Only a true country bumpkin would not order what they like in deference to what they consider proper. So Ang, go ahead and stick with whatever wine you like. Guidelines are just that. If you want a sauvignon blanc with your filet mignon go right ahead and order it - with confidence.<BR><BR>A really fine restaurant will not look at you "funny" or make you feel uncomfortable no matter what you order. They realize that the customer is always right, and they are there to make your meal pleasurable. You are not there to impress the waitstaff.

Ang,<BR> Nina is right. You, as the paying customer, have a right to enjoy your dining experience. If you wish to drink a white zinfandel or another light white with red meat, go right ahead. Any waitstaff that questions your choice, whether verbally or by body language/facial expression, requires retraining in appropriate customer service. <BR>ja

I don't want to be mean, but is it more important that you enjoy your meal and your evening out or more important that you try to impress a bunch of strangers that you'll never see again with your "cocktail skills"?<BR>Stop worrying so much what others think of you and enjoy.

I'd like to propose a toast to the good advice on this thread to ignore what others think and enjoy yourself!

A good meal is simple,<BR>Whatever you wish to drink + whatever you wish to eat. Who really gives a care what anyone else does. Life is to short for unenjoyable meals.

Where Do: What I meant was that, although a restaurant might choose to have tables "preset" with a basic service, the table would not, have something like, for instance, a fish fork. How could they know you would order fish? Those untensils would be brought with the course, and after you order, a waiter should clear away anything that happens to be on the table that doesn't correspond to what you'll be eating. For instance, if you were going just for dessert, the waiter might have to clear a dinner setting and replace it with one for dessert. At a dinner party, the host would know exactly what was being served and have what the guests would need ready.<BR><BR>But I think that what we've all learned here is that just because a restaurant serves in a particular doesn't make it good etiquette. Strong-arming people into taking extra drinks or food is really appalling.

Ang; I hate to think that you are not enjoying your evenings out in order to save face in front of a waiter!!! Stop that!! You deserve to drink any wine you choose and have fun doing it. <BR><BR>Klam: I have seen many a person nurse a drink throughout a meal in very posh restaurants. It's not the usual but heck why not if that's what you like. If I have a drink and also have wine with the meal they might as well get me a stretcher 'cause I'll never get out of the restaurant on my own. So, it's one or the other for me. I often see people drinking their Vodka martinis and keep them coming throughout the meal. But I live in the rough and tumble Southwest. Maybe you oughta move here! You do know that the more the waiter sells you the better they look to the boss and the more tip they get. So of course they are going to push whatever they can get away with.<BR><BR>And Patrick: I sure hope you never went back to wherever it was!

I think that it was Dear Abby(or maybe Ann Landers) that said, " No one can take advantage of you without your permisssion.<BR><BR>When I eat out, if something is brought to my table that I didn't order I would send it back. If I'm rushed and my entree comes out while eating my salad...I send it back.<BR><BR>If I want a leisurely meal with my wife, I tell the waiter up front to slow things down.<BR><BR>I do not hesitate to speak up if there is a problem....but I also tip VERY well.

I agree it is fine to do what you wish to do about what you drink when at a restaurant. I encourage you to do so in a completely relaxed, smiling, and unapologetic way, without communicating any anxiety about what the staff thinks.

Hey Dick - that advice came from my mom not Ann Landers. (joke) Actually I've always thought it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said it. But in any event its a great rule to live by. Thanks for the reminder.

Bennie,<BR>Are you sure that your Mom didn't read it in Abby's (or Ann's) column.<BR><BR>That's wwhere I read it many years agao. Its just stuck with me because it make such sense.<BR><BR>Elizabeth,<BR><BR>I'm glad you mentioned that. Of course, any questions or problems should be discussed in a friendly, polite non confrontational manner. I am sorry that I didn't make my self clearer.

Catherine, if you had ever eaten in a "fine" restaurant you would know that the tables are fully set and once you order, the waiter removes the untensils and glasses that you won't be needing.

In response to what Dick said. I hope you do enjoy your meals at your own pace and it is the kitchen/waitstaffs' responibilty to properly pace your meal.<BR>I will say i hope you dont go into a busy restaurant on a weekend night and tell the staff to "slow it down". Not only is it disruptive to the entire staff, (hosts/chefs/waiters) it also effects any other reservations that are booked for that table for the rest of the night. Three hours for dinner on a Monday night, sure. Saturday night with 180 reservations on the books and your just being inconsiderate. No matter how well you tip.

Ang, some people actually have an allergy to the tannins in red wine (somme members of my family) and can really never drink it. The waitstaff has no right to look down their noses at your choice of a white wine with your red meat. Ignore them and carry on.<BR><BR>I've actually had a waiter laugh at my wine selection once, I ordered an inexpensive Beaujolais with my dinner because I was really into Beaujolais then. I was embarrased at the time but I think back on that now and it just makes me smile at his faux pas. Of course, the worst breach of etiquette is pointing out someone else's breach of etiquette. <BR><BR>I work sometimes for my caterer friend and when I'm stressing about not folding the spanakopita correctly she tells me to get over it, it's just food!

Susan, just wondering... you said a waiter laughed at your wine selection. Did you still tip him?

Unfortunately, it was a party of six and the tip was added on for us. I hate it when they do that! The rest of the meal he behaved himself though.