Opera Attire?
 

What is considered to be average, acceptable attire for an opera at the Met. on a Monday night (not that the night of the week necessarily makes a difference)? This question is for men and women. Thanks in advanced. I am currently opperating under the assumption that a nice suit (not a business suit, but a tailored navy suit with a tie) and for her, a long, black, simple evening gown. Sound ok?

The only time you will see a long gown at the opera these days is on opening night. Otherwise, unfortunately, you'll see anything and everything from jeans to suits. If she wants to wear a gown she can, but it's certainly not necessary. A nice dress, suit or even pants outfit is fine.

We go to the Met opera very often. A blue suit for a man is very nice, but few women wear long gowns unless they are going to a benefit after the performance. Monday night had been the most chic night as that was the night the "old line" New Yorkers went. Not really true anymore. A street length dress (a little bare) would be fine as would a pants suit with a dressy blouse. Most people come directly from work and are not "dressed up".

Ditto.

We were just at the Met two weeks ago for LaTraviata on a Thursday night. I think I saw more men in blazers or sportcoats than suits even. And I was actually surprised that I didn't see a single man in a tux or a single lady in a gown. There were a couple women in long skirts, but frankly I'd call their look more Bohemian than formal. Most were wearing nice street length dresses and perhaps due to the cold I saw more dressy pants outfits than dresses.

Opening night is for formal attire. The other nights? Little black dress for the woman or chic suit. For the man? A suit or nice slacks and an equally nice sportcoat.

I have worn jeans to the Met on several occasions. Nobody really cares what you wear.

People aren't really looking at you. It's more about what you are comfortable wearing. I don't mean physically, but how you feel about what you are wearing and how it fits in, if that matters to you. Black works well. Pants or a dress for a woman.

If you want to get really dressy, again, no one really cares. Middle of the road means that you will fit in perfectly!

Just go to a Simulcast, they have them around now LOL.

We attended a performance at the Met several months ago and I chose to wear a jacket and tie and which seemed to be pretty much the nortm. A businesss suit would be perfectly fine. As indicated above, formal wear is usually only found at opening night.
Even at places like the Met casual attire is becoming more and more acceptable. I find that to be a pity.

Thank you all, really. It is great that these forums exist. Also, the dress I think she will wear is about floor lungth, and not an "evening gown" per se, but more of a little black dress, but not so short as a typical cocktail dress. I just don't know how to express things well. Thanks again. As we will be in town celebrating our anniversary, I think getting dfressed up a bit will make it feel more special to us. Foprget what others may think... And to whoever would wear jeans to the Met: It is a free country and I for one would not tell you what to wear, but you should have within yourself a sense of cultural respect to dress up nicer than that, unless you truly cannot afford to do so, in which case I applaud you for chosing opera over fashion.

I've been biting my tongue about MM's remark "Nobody really cares what you wear."

I've been enough places like that to overhear many times comments like "I can't believe someone would wear jeans to an opera". It's fine if you want to wear jeans or even t-shirts, and you can feel good about doing so, but don't think that nobody cares. There are plenty of people who will think you are a slob for doing so. Many people who get dressed up for such things WILL care that those around them didn't. You might argue that's their problem, but don't suggest that "nobody cares". They do. And the post right above mine goes to show one such person who does care. I don't think Bob Dobbs is alone in his thinking, either.

Especially if you are going to the opera during this cold weather, your wife will be fine and certainly not "out of place" with a long dress/skirt. Style conscious and smart women dress for both appearance and the weather!!!

Dress codes everywhere have become so relaxed that I think there are those who tend to take that overboard a bit. For instance, business casual. That phrase has drifted a bit now, hasn't it?
I too have worn jeans to the Met, but only in really crappy weather. Otherwise, nice pants and a decent shirt or sweater is fine.

Dearest Patrick, the last time I wore jeans to the Met, to see Marriage of Figaro, I also wore a blazer, button-down shirt, and Ferragamo boots. You don't have to look like a slob in jeans. You can look like a slob in a rumpled suit, scuffed shoes, and stained tie.

Good grooming and cleanliness goes very far.

Pardon me, that should be "go very far."

I just read Bob Dobbs' comments about my suppose "lack of culture," and "not being able to afford better clothing."

That is the funniest thing that I read here in a long time. Thanks for the laugh, Bobby.

I suppose those same people whom some think are "underdressed" probably think all those other people are stupid for being "overdressed."

Some people think it is nice to get "dressed up" and I can understand why it is disappointing to do so and then be in a place where a LOT of other people aren't. But, historically, a lot of "dress codes" for a lot of places have changed over time.

MM, my statements were NOT a judgement call about your taste in clothes, nor about your ability to afford them. My only comment was that you are wrong when you say "Nobody really cares what you wear."
Obviously people do care what others wear to the opera. Many may not know the difference between Ferragamo and Payless shoes, or between designer jeans and those bought second hand at Goodwill. But to suggest they don't "think" they know when others aren't dressed up or care about what others are wearing is simply wrong.

And you are certainly misquoting Bob if you think he said YOU can't afford good clothes. Did you miss his "UNLESS you truly cannot afford. . ." If the "Ferragamo doesn't fit you, don't try to wear it!" LOL

Neo,

I thought it was pretty clear you were not commenting on mm's particular taste in clothing.

And you make an excellent point on that tired retort that "Nobody really cares what you wear". Just because the entire audience has the civility not to say anything to your face doesn't mean they are not silently judging you.

As a season-ticket holder to the Met, I just want to pipe up in support of MM. Honestly, "silently judging you"? I can't understand how what someone else is wearing affects your enjoyment of the performance. Judge away, I'll be listening to the opera, not paying attention to someone's outfit--no I didn't wear jeans last night to the Met, but I would have felt perfectly fine in jeans, boots, and nice blazer. As it was, I wore snow boots because of the weather--are you in shock? Did anyone judge me? Quite frankly, who cares?

In any case, the bigger worry is not what one wears to the Met, but the fact that the audience is aging and that younger people--some of whom can look quite nice in jeans--feel that opera is old and stuffy for precisely the slightly elitist attitudes presented in this post. Why do you think the Met is upping the marketing ante to children (1 hour version of Magic Flute) and to the public (live versions of Madama Butterfly, movie performances of The First Emperor)? Opera was meant for "the people," too, after all.

As Dukey pointed out, this kind of elitism in the theater and classical music performances was not always the norm and it's a shame. Classical music and theater can be enjoyed on a weekly basis, and if you want to dress up fine--but if it's a fun and casual experience for you, as long as you're not unwrapping candy during the music, wear what you want.

Mr. Dobbs, enjoy the opera. I think that you and your companion will love the Met. There is an exhibit of Callas' jewelry going on right now, too--the hall closes at 5, but perhaps it could be seen before your pre-theater dinner if that's what you're doing.

Here is the website for the Met. The dresscode is listed (there is no dresscode):

http://www.metoperafamily.org/metope...aspx#dressCode

I would just like to say one thing..
We have been to Operas and Ballets and the theatre in various cities and countries, every single place had people dressed in full formal attire to young people checking their backpacks in jeans and sneakers.
It is SO <b>Not</b> about what you Wear.
If you pay for those tickets to go see/hear an Opera or Ballet, it is for the Love of the Music, Dance, Spectacle. Not to show off your new dress or shoes or to see who is not dressed up to your standards..

I was so charmed in London one year when a young couple, he in jeans and a shirt with sneakers but wearing a jacket and she in a long skirt and top , huddled together, reading the program, so excited and full of anticipation..and it was not excitement over what everyone else was wearing.

Personally, I usually wear a black silk suit.. when I travel, it works for so many situations..
Enjoy, Bob &amp; Mrs Dobbs! ( we miss the Met :) )

I am certain that La Callas herself would have stared out into the audience and declared, &quot;It is not about what anyone else is wearing, EXCEPT ME!&quot;

I have every confidence in your clothing decision. Anyone who is sitting and wasting any time at all judging the clothing in the audience (and undoubtedly thinking they themselves look oh, so much better)isn't paying attention to the right things IMO.

I was at the Met on Saturday for an opera. I wore black pants and a nice warm sweater and I fit right in. The people who stood out were the two women in sequined dresses. It is cold in NYC right now and would be prudent, in my mind, to dress warmly. Wearing a suit is appropriate but a gown, not really. Do dress with the thought in mind that it is winter in NYC and you want to be comfortable sitting for several hours.

When I wrote that nobody cared, I meant that you would still be admitted to the opera. It isn't like showing up at Alain Ducasse in a t-shirt and being turned away at the door.

I find it highly amusing and ironic that the most critical of dress violations are those who neither live in NYC nor attend the Met on a regular basis.

What kind of snide comment was that last comment supposed to be?

What on earth does living in New York have to do with KNOWING that some people are offended by others' dress. Is that supposed to indicate that no one but a resident of New York has common sense? Or is it just another attempt to say that only New Yorkers have any class or taste? Come on MM, that comment is totally beneath you! Anyway, in my case I have made NO comment being critical of anyone's dress at the Met, so apparently your comments aren't referring to me at all. Nevertheless. . .

You seem to have changed your tune, as it's hard to go back and believe that when you said &quot;no one cares what you wear&quot; simply meant -- they'll let you in anyway. Obviously people dress to impress (some of them even have to mention the brand of boots they wear for the purpose of impressing others -- so obviously what others think is important to some). It's only logical to point out that audiences are aware of what others are wearing. They take note and are impressed when people around them are wearing nice and fashionable clothes and of course, they also take note and are &quot;unimpressed&quot; when those around them do not. Simple.

One time at the met, 10th row center, a guy came in and sat down next to me. He looked like a street person, tatty and torn. I could not for the life of me figure out how he got in there, tickets being $100+ and him with his belongings in a plastic bag. And I will never know. But, he seemed to enjoy himself. And I did too, until he pulled a pink kitchen sponge from the bag and proceeded to wash himself with it.

True story.

Bob_Dobbs,

Been only to the Met once but I'm a regular seson ticket holder here in Houston. I still see, every once in a while, someone really dressed up and I like it. I however, prefer to be more comfortable in nice black slacks and nice top or a nice dress. I would never think to go in jeans, however, but that is just me. I have no issues with people who do. I think it's just great they are going!

In the end, it's what you are comfortable in going and seeing as it is your anniversary, I think dressing up a little will be an added &quot;fun&quot;.

Enjoy and what will you be seeing? Makes me jealous, wish I was going too!

Hmm. Maybe he was just getting into the spirit of things. Was the opera, The Water Nymph by any chance?

By the way, I have been going to the opera several times a year for the past thirty years and the only time I saw quite a few long dresses was at a opening night for a new opera. If you want to wear a long gown, feel free. But since the OP was asking and it seems to me they are concerned about dressing like the majority of people there, my answer stands. A lovely suit, dress, or pants and nice top are all appropriate wear.

OOOOOKAY...

Seems that I have stirred things up a bit more than intended with a simple question, although it also appears that &quot;MM&quot; wants to make an argument any way s/he can (I will not make any sex/gender call because this too would probably cause an argument). I would like to add a few things:

My intent was to get the feeling for what is the norm, not what is possible. I stated very clearly that anyone should be allowed in so long as they have clothes on (I will draw a line at nudity in the audience), and I only care about what others wear to a small degree. It is my opinion (MM- I said &quot;opinion&quot;) that just as dressing up a bit can make one feel different, the way all dress can affect the way an event feels. By dressing-up to some degree, everyone shows respect for the event and for the performers. We need not all wear black tie, but by avoiding the wranglers and birkenstocks (not to knock them, I own each... but not for the opera), we can make the entire evening seem a bit more refined and a bit more significant. This is the way I feel, and perhaps a casual-to-sloppy attitude will prevail in the future, however I will not personally contribute. That is MY decision.

Coming from a fairly humble background and being only 30 years old myself, I am not an expert on opera. I do, however, have some formal tarining and education in music, and I do truly enjoy the beauty and elegance of opera. I understand that the opera itself is far more important than anything happening in the audience. This is why I said that if one could not afford nicer clothes, I (quite seriously) APPLAUD him/her for still investing their money in opera tickets. If this is not the case, I personally don't see why certain norms of proper attire cannot be (at least unofficially) adhered to by the patrons.

Now, having beaten that horse to death, lets all move on with our lives.

I will be seeing La Traviata. :) I will most definitely enjoy it!!

Ooooohhhh! La Traviata was my first opera and what got me hooked, although Wagner operas are my favorite, La Traviata will definitely hold a special place in my heart.

Enjoy Bob_Dobbs and have a wonderful anniversary!

Another reason that I love Seattle. I'll never make it to the Met, so to that extent this response is off-topic, but I just want to note that I have seen men dressed in work clothes, carrying lunch buckets, at the opera, ballet, and symphony in Seattle, apparently on their way to a late shift after the event. It's love of the art, not clothes, that counts.

Bravo Bob Dobbs!

This is kind of funny.
Someone says: No one cares what you wear. I've worn jeans.
Someone else says: It's disrespectful to wear jeans to such an event.
Person One replies: Well, they were expensive jeans!

This thread is a hoot.
Have a great time, Bob!

Nowhere in my post did I mention my jeans being expensive. Please find that statement for me because I don't see it.

You are the one who is a hoot, Dreamer, because you make things up out of thin air. You obviously dream things up too much.

Perhaps every male should wear what was once called a &quot;Texas Tux.&quot; I don't know if they still do, but my family went to a wedding in Houston and that seemed to be the favorite outfit for the men.

It's the full tuxedo top, coat, fancy shirt, bow tie.....with jeans on the bottom.

Aileen79&gt;&gt; WOW. That's it, just, &quot;WOW.&quot; :)

Cheers.

An easy question: black tie, naturally. If others wish to &quot;slob&quot; it, they will simply be offering an appropriate backdrop to amplify your own elegant taste. I've always found it confusing why some will go to a special event dressed for Whole Foods.