Livng in the South
 

Have any of you ever moved south from the north? I will be moving to charleston sc in about a month, and am a little worried about the culture change, what differences can I expect? Are people in the south generally more friendly then people in the North? Any help or tips would be appriciated!!!
THANKS

Oh darlin, did I! We moved from NYC to Jacksonville Florida this past January.
I grew up in the South, so it all came back to me, day by day. The Yankee (my husband) had a bit of culture shock..I noticed he started saying "How ya doin" which he had never said in NY!
But he quickly grew to enjoy the slower pace of life. And all the bonuses of Southern living, new foods to taste, great weather all year ( except very hot summers) and the Friendly people.
Even I noticed that everyone is as nice as can be! Chatty, helpful and smiling..just a bit of a change from Manhattan:D
ACtually, I fit in here a little better than I did in New York.
You might find it takes about a year to settle in, to slow down, to be patient..
Charleston is much much prettier than Jax so I think you might be very happy there~
Good luck ((F)) Scarlett

I live in a suberb of Jacksonville and lived in Atlanta for 15 years prior to that. I love it in the south and would prefer this over any other place.
There is a gentleness and a charm that is not found so much in other places.
I also love the people. Like the above post mentioned, Charleston is a beautiful place and is one of our favorite places to visit. I think you'd have a nice time there.

tcapp, we are neighbors! :D

Thanks for the tips!! I am young and will hopefully adjust eaisly, but it will be hard not knowing anyone. Does charleston have alot of younger people arounfmy age 24? Also how are the schools? I dont have kids yet, juts a courious question for the future.
and thanks again

I moved from NY to Wash, DC to Atlanta, then back to Washington over the course of the last 25 years. While some would argue that Atlanta is not really the south, culture-wise, it was plenty southern in many ways. The pace is a little slower, and people a little gentler. Politics are a lot more conservative. Just remember in restaurants, if you ask for tea it will be cold and sweetened. If you want hot tea, say hot tea. If you don't want it sweet, specify that. Also, they will mayonnaise on all sandwiches--even corned beef--unless you tell them otherwise.

I was in Charleston(1st time) visiting in-laws. It's a lovely city and really quite cosmopolitan. I saw lots of young people while there. The summers are brutal-hot and very humid, but air conditioning is, of course, everywhere. Why don't you try the Charleston Chamber of Commerce website? You may get some helpful info.

I am a Jersey Girl transplanted to Richmond VA. We moved with kids to the suburbs and have found our home. People can be more superficially friendly, but all in all it reminds me of NJ when I was a kid.(a little slower). You will miss the ethnic food! You are the immigrant to the south. So, make sure you have your northern connection for special food items (Pizza being one!)
This was a great move for our family and we live in an area where everyone is from someplace else. So my best friends are from NJ, Boston, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, etc... Charleston is supposed to be a great city and you aren't far from the beach.

what! they dont have pizzain the south???, i hope you were joking!!! I have onlyhad sweet tea once and i hated it. But i love the idea of being near the beach!

Have an open mind. Enjoy learning about the history of the south and the complexities of its past and present.

I spend several years in the south, including VA, NC, GA, and a summer in Columbia SC. Be prepared for the celebration of Jefferson Davis Day and perhaps Confederate Memorial Day. It may seem like ancient history to many, but an elderly gentleman who used to turn the jump rope for my Mother when she was a child in Tennessee, had been born a slave.

In SC, you will learn that the Civil War was about a lot more than slavery. The south was devastated by the war and crushed by its aftermath.

Of course the south has changed a lot. I was, frankly, taken aback when a friend of mine from Oregon visited SC for the first time this year and returned with the comment that southerners needed to get over the Civil War. Remember, to many it was not that long ago. Also, remember that the rest of the nation is hardly the bastion of enlightenment that it likes to think it is.

Orcas, you bring up a very good point in mentioning the Civil War, or as it's called in the South, "The War Between the States."

We lived for ten years in Atlanta, having moved from the Boston area. I loved the South and even though we no longer live there, we still visit every year. The South is glorious for all the reasons other posters have mentioned. We were really happy there.

However, having said that, I never could quite get used to the way too many Southerners still "live" the Civil War. It comes out in ordinary conversation that there is the North, and then, there is the South. No other region I've lived in in the US is as fierce in its regional identity as is the South. Sometimes I thought it exhausting. Sometimes it made me feel that although I was graciously welcomed, I would never be one of them, no matter how long I stayed. Born in the wrong place!

That's the only negative I can give you, amatters. I suppose in the scheme of things, given that you are going to be living in one of the most incredibly beautiful cities in the US, it would pay to overlook this little idiocincracy. As Orcas said, the war wasn't so long ago to some Southern familiies. My good friend across the street, for example, was not only Daughter of the Revolution, but Daughter of the Confederacy. Makes for complex bedfellows in one's family tree!

Thanks for the history!!! Are there still alot of racial tensions in the south? I am very opened minded and have no problems with any race religion or sexual preference, so when my black friends come to visit me ( i am a white female) will i get alot of dirty looks?
Over all i am very excited by this move, Its my first living on my own experience (not counting college, and my parents paid the rent anyway) and Because i am moving away (11 hrs away) I having all these mixed feelings. I hope to find a roomate to help reduce costs and to network and i am SOO excited about not having to shovel snow, or worry about frozen gas lines. And i love the beach.

I have to say that I'm biased being one of the GRITS (girl raised in the South) but the South is where everyone from up North comes to relax. They wouldn't come if we didn't have something that they can't find at home. So welcome & enjoy yourself in Charleston.

I don't think that you will find any negative response to having black friends. You will be living in a larger city not the small town. Most people are too busy to stop & scrutinize too closely unless you live in a very tight neighborhood. Where I live there is still a touch of the separation mode but it is slowly getting better.

My advice is to go in with an open mind & don't have too many preconceived notions about what people are like. Remember that there are many transplants to places so you are likely to meet all kinds.

Try reading "Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love" before you go. It is a crazy book & gives you some insight into southern life. This site has a brief audio clip that gives you an idea.
www.lemuriabooks.com/audio/spq.asp

Have fun!

amatters: Of course there is pizza, just not the good pizza from NY!
The civil war is big like the above post said. My kids have spent the entire fourth grade studying it and will study it again in the sixth grade. It is well studied. I know more Virginia history than you could imagine!
You will have fun living on your own! I would think Charleston is a nice small city to start out on your own. You may even meet a nice southern gentleman!!!(If your not already married!)When we moved to Va I told my husband there are alot of mixed marriages in the neighborhood and he replied "really?". I said yes north and south!

haha thats great, i am not married, but my boyfirned will be living in pa :( for the next1 1/2 years to finish school.

girlonthego is right. Check out the southern gentleman. I found a Georgia boy over 20 years ago and he remains my wonderful husband today. Interestingly, 1/2 of my roots are southern. The other half are 1st generation American. My husband's grandmother wrote me off as a Yankee when she found out my parents lived in Illinois, the "Land of Lincoln." She'd always try to rile me with her southern chauvenism. I never let on that my ancestors had died alongside hers fighting for the South. I stayed away from her as much as I could!

I married a Southerner (well, not legally yet, but we're hoping things in Boston will show the nation we're ready).

Anyway, I'm a fourth generation Californian and he's a Virginia boy. Now, I have to admit that I never thought of Virginia as "The South" since it's just below D.C. and pretty near half-way down the map (as is the San Francisco Bay Area).

Let's just say that I learned my lesson when visiting my in-laws. I'm a Pepsi man, and they only drink Coca-Cola - as it's headquartered in Atlanta.

It also cracks me up that my man's favorite family quote is, "We had silver, until the Yankees came."

It's all very tongue in cheek - but there's definitely a basis deep in the roots of what it means to be southern.

We are proud of our roots. My mother's favorite saying, "what's yaw famlee nayme?". Translation, "what is your family name/what is your last name and who are your relatives".

It's all about food and people. You'll have a good time but don't ever tell someone, "this is the way we did it back home" or some other such nonsense. We do get tired of hearing that.

You may not be able to find good pizza, heck, I still can't, but you will find other things to eat.

Racial tensions? Probably not between blacks and whites. The crowd we run with is very mixed. In any case, it you will not find any Hollywoodized version of it here.

Charleston has a great young population.

Yes, I was fortunate to have a step father whose family roots could be traced back to French planters who came here before the Revolution and stayed. Although I was born in Az and lived in Ca before we moved to NC, I was able to use his 'credentials" to keep the old biddies from looking down their noses at me :D
From a mixed marriage also, Scarlett married to a Yankee. What would that make our children? the Pup ? LOL

GoTravel makes very good points.

When I met my husband-to-be, my Mama asked, "Oh, is he a Charleston Hannah?" My grandmother used to love her Daughters of the Confederacy meetings and riding in the DoC cars during the Azalea Festival Parade with the other "girls." (God rest her soul.)

Oh, PLEASE don't say the dreaded, "that's not how we did it (cooked it, said it, wore it, played it, etc.) up Nawth." That might get you injured (or at least made a social pariah). I actually saw a white work van here that had a bumper sticker on it that said: "I DON'T GIVE A #@!$ HOW YOU DID IT UP NORTH!"

You may get a little unnerved about the fact that EVERYONE wants to chat with you at the grocery store, in line at the movie or the concert or the bathroom, or just about anywhere for that matter. I must confess, if I try to start a conversation and am rebuffed, I normally think, "Yankee." (Probably not very charitable of me.)

True, I've never had pizza remotely as good as that I've had in NY traveling on business, but there's a lot to keep my taste buds happy here! :)

I've been to every state except Hawaii, and I enjoyed seeing the country, but I would never consider living outside of the South.

Where I live, we still wave to our neighbors and know them (and their kids) all by name.

One of my very favorite things about Spring and Summer is the AME church fried chicken fundraisers and volunteer fire department pig pickins.

No siree! I cannot see living anywhere else but here.

Y'll come visit and stay if you'd like. We'd love to have you - Bless Your Hearts!

HEAVENS! I misspelled y'all.

I may get banished forever! :D

Scarlett, sounds like the Junior League ladies approved of hubby's pedigree. (Eyes rolling...) :)

But also remember that the South is so changed from the days we are (mostly) speaking about.
You will find people in your area from other countries as well as the North and West Coast. We have Lebanese neighbors as well as folks from Tennessee and long time residents of Georgia and SC..
As long as companies from Up North keep moving down South, the influx of new blood will keep coming..which I think is a wonderful thing.
Some of those old Southern families have a few too many "odd" uncles and aunts or cousins, something that some new blood might correct in future generations :)
Of course, that does not apply to anyone on here!! We are all amazingly bright and witty and have no mental problems whatsoever LOL

Pepsi was founded in New Bern, North Carolina. Last time I checked, NC was part of the CSA.

Like GoTravel said, stay away from phrases that start with "Back home . . ." Charleston will be your home.

I think your biggest problem will be the fact you don't like sweetea. I love the stuff and wish it was on the menu in every restaurant everywhere because you must add sugar to tea when it's hot or else it will not dissolve. End of rant.

Charleston is a beautiful city, full of history and with some people who still live in historic times. Tourism is a big industry there (just check out how many times someone asks a question about it here) and so there might be more emphasis on history than in some other southern town.

However, like any city there is good and bad in everything. Seek out the good, be aware of the bad, stay positive and you should do fine.

Scarlett, that is so true!

We all have an "odd" family member but we don't hide them. We let their craziness play out in public and embrace it as an oddity.

Think of the book "Prince of Tides". The main character had a grandfather that strapped a cross to his back every Easter and preached on every corner.

Its not that i diliske sweet tea per se, i use sweet-n-low to sweeten my tea..lol
What is fall like in the south? While i hate the winter, I LOVE all the fall colors and "smells".

Love the comments about the "odd" cousins!
It's certainly true in our little town, where it's just accepted that every old family worth its grits has at least one "Cud'n Mattie," who keeps everyone laughing or crying.

Oh, the tales I could tell!

ammatters, you'll love the south. It may not be perfect, but it isn't dull!

Byrd

Also what are some regional "southern" food I should try? Also I read in ont of the erailer posts that Pepsi is from NC, does that mean I have to say good by to my beloved Coke? Also I was reading about apartmenst on-line, and most aloow pets! Which has me very excited becasue most apts where i live to not, If the south is pet friendly I will be alot happier!
Have a Great days guys
Ps I love talkeing to random people, this should be a great adventure!

Autumn smells for me would be the heady aroma of 100 year old boxwoods and deep whiffs of loblolly pines.

Diet Coke is everywhere amatters. I like mine with lime.

Coca cola is everywhere.

Depends on where you are as to fall in the south. Our Autums are very hot and we're on the beach until right before Thanksgiving.

"what are some southern regional foods I should try?"
-barbecue (the phrase "pork barbecue" is sometimes considered redundant), hushpuppies, corn bread (fried), stewed tomatoes, collard greens (with a bit of vinegar & chopped onion on it), turnip greens, black eyed peas, country ham, grits with red-eye gravy (made from country ham), sliced tomato sandwiches made with just mayonnaise and black pepper on white bread, pecan pie, succatash, squash, sweet potato, sweet potato pie, brunswick stew for starters.
Go to www.chowhound.com and browse the "South" part of the website. Lots of very knowledgeable and helpful people there can point you to some excellent Charleston restaurants.
Someone already mentioned it, but especially during the fall, there will be fundraising events held by local churches or volunteer fire departments/rescue squads which involve food. Huge kettles of homemade brunswick stew sold by the pint/quart or bbq chicken sold by the plate complete with vegetables. Usually pretty cheap and almost always real good.

I lived in the North ('44-67), the South ('67-75), the West ('75-'80) and the SouthWest ('80-'04). Other than auto traffic in the larger cities, flyover country is still the best.
All were wonderful, but now it's time to move on.
M

As a southerner, I can still get a little choked up when I read Shelby Foote describe a battle scene like at Second Manassas where barefooted North Carolinians held off Northern troops with rocks and counterattacked through a briar patch.

If I could recount what Sir Winston Churchill concluded about Lee's Army: "Lee had three-quarters, and several times only half, the strength of his opponents. These brave Northerners were certainly hampered by a woeful political direction, but, on the other side, the Confederates were short of weapons, ammunition, food, clothes and boots. It was even said that their line of march could be traced by the bloodstained footprints of unshod men. But the Army of Northern Virignia carried the Confederacy on its bayonnets and made a struggle unsurpassed in history."

Of such memories, and the memories of utter defeat, has had an indelible imprint on the Southern mindset.

I really know nothing about the civil war (even though i live near gettysburg) My school focused on more recent wars, and what we were told about the civil war was that it was basically just about slavery.

I'm the one who mentioned Pepsi. It was for SFImposter's boyfriend's parents who poo-pooed Pepsi. You'll have no trouble finding Pepsi or Coke products. You might want to try an RC Cola, another soda from the south. For local foods, visit a farmers' market and go wild over the fresh produce. There is also a thread around here with recipes. I don't remember the title but it had some yummy foods in it.

You're in a great area to learn about the Civil War (a/k/a "the late unpleasantness" "the war of Northern agression"). As a southerner we spent a lot of time in school studying the Civil War and missed out on other subjects. Travel is a great way to further your education.

Back to food! Sinehat has a good list. But don't forget to try the boiled peanuts! Once you've had them, you'll wonder why they aren't popular everywhere.

Beware of cream sauces and fried foods. Save your high cal intake for barbeque and hush puppy consumption. These delectibles vary by locale and you will appear intelligent if you can discuss regional variation.

There are so many different accents in SC, that a person with a learned ear can identify which town people hail from by their accent.

Here's another tip. The coastal plain is called the low country; the Piedmont is the midlands, if I recall; and the Appalacians are the high country.

I think you are about ready for this adventure!

OK, back to food. Todays lunch at Barbara Jeans on the waterway in Ponte Vedra ..
drinks-tea, sweet
the breadbasket- bisuits, cheese cornbread, and pumpkin bread!
lunch-fried catfish sandwiches with cheese fries.
They offered a Chocolate Cobbler!! but I was already passed out from overgreasing!

'Odd" cousins, one who collected stuff and would ask everyone who came to visit to come upstairs to the attic!! and look at his boxes of junk..we kids used to hate going over there, mom would force us to go look and be polite.


I am longing for the Fall Smell! We will take a fall trip back to NYC to get our 'fix' :)

Slavery was the hot button issue that drove the emotional aspect of the war, but the regional/sectional differences between the northern and southern states had been a problem since the early 1800s. The north was mainly an industrial economy relying on immigrant labor to run its factories, while the south was mainly an agricultural society relying on slave labor to operate its farms. (Slavery in fact wasn't outlawed in some of the northern areas until the 1840s.)
The north was more populous, it was able to more effectively control Congress and pass laws more beneficial to the northern interests which the south came to bitterly resent. For instance, cotton was the cash crop for the south(it was in fact referred to as King Cotton) and the southern farmers made good money exporting cotton to Great Britain which had a highly industrialized cloth producing sector. The north also had an industrialized cloth producing sector, but was not able to pay the prices that England was, so a lot of the cotton was sold in England instead of going up north. Congress in the 1840s passed tariffs which said basicaly cotton shipped anywhere outside the US borders would be taxed. This meant that the southern cotton producers got less for their cotton, and the northern cloth producers got cheaper raw mateials. Resentments start to build.
The south was more homogenous in its people, most came initially from the southern part of England, they thought alike, the talked alike, they were in fact very similar. The north was less homogenous, most of the immigrants would arrive in New York, Boston, Philadelphia and tended to stay in the areas. They tended to come from places other than southern England, other parts of Europe, mainly Germany, Italy, Scandinavia, eastern Europe, and brought differing viewpoints. The results, very few Jews, Catholics, Greek Orthodox in the south. Mainly protestants in the south.
Two different areas of the the country, two different types of people in those areas. The south feels the north is taking advantage of it, economically, legally, forcing it into a position that is not good for southern interests. The south feels it needs the slaves to maintain its agricultural economy, while some in the north start to feel that the owning of slaves is in no way defensible, calls for the abolition of slavery. South says that the north should mind its own business and that the federal government does not have the legal right to tell a particular state what is legal or illegal. For the south, the individual state is king, for the north, the Federal government is king. North says it does in fact have a legal right to redress a wrong and the union of all the states is more important than the particulars of the individual states. The feeling in the south leads to the idea that if Lincoln is elected in 1860, the southern interests, southern way of life, will be trampled. Several states threaten to suceed if he is elected. He is, and they do.
Slavery was an issue even back to the Revolutionary period, but it wasn't the only issue that led to the Civil War. Just one of many. IMHO

Don't forget the honey for the hushpuppies and the biscuits.
In our house, it's also cornbread stuffin' for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
The word "coke" is descriptive of all carbonated drinks, and certainly is never referred to as "soda".
It's a screen door, not a storm door.
It's craw-fish, not crae-fish.
And, please remember it's not pee-can pie. But rather picon pie.
I married a Jersey boy, and this conversation has circulated in our house many times. (-:

A couple of more.
Beach music has nothing to do with Jimmy Buffett or calypso. It's R & B and motown. Learn to Shag.
It's "hey" not "hi".
The phrase "do what?" (rising in tone as you say it) means(amongst other things), "I didn't hear or understand you, kindly say it again", or, "you've got to be kiddin'?"

Yes, Beach Music is all about Motown. Learn to shag, it is a slow cross between the Lindy Hop and the Charleston. Wear slick bottomed shoes.