HELP!! HONEYMOON REGISTRIES...
 

Does anyone know of a travel agent or honeymoon registry service that does not charge the service fee to the gift givers and will do the travel booking for you?<BR>Thanks,<BR>Amy

Dearest Amy - <BR><BR>I must say that your request is in terrible taste. A honeymoon registry? Come on. If you can't afford to take a honeymoon on your own, postpone the homeymoon until you two can get away on your own dime. Makes me think that you are two kids who don't know any better - I hope I am right. I guess the suggestion to just go to Macy's or Burdine's and register for Waterford or Lenox formal china will fall on deaf ears. You probably eat on styrofoam plates you bought at Wal-Mart. I bet you would want to go to Walt Disney World or Myrtle Beach for your honeymoon. My husband and I married almost two years ago and would haven't had a guest in the ballroom if someone heard we wanted them to finance our honeymoon. Our east coast wedding cost $40K -- honeymoon only cost $7K for 2 weeks in the Caribbean. Grow up.<BR>

This is desperate. You also posted on the Europe forum. Your guests will also think this is a desperate attempt to ask for cash.

I hope some of her wedding guests visit Fodor's and recognize her name and email address.<BR><BR>I think I will copy and paste this thread on the AOL Wedding Message Boards and get this little skank some action!!!<BR><BR>

I see nothing wrong with this! Many couples have all the household items they need especially second brides or those of a mature age who are getting married. People will still want to ge tthe happy couple gifts regardless. Why get them anotehr candy dish/vase/ or knickknack when that is the last thing they need or have room for.<BR><BR>That being said I have an aunt who is looking into doing this through www.honeyluna.com. She is also talking to her local travel agent to see if she can just do it through her. She and her groom have already purchased their resort stay themselves. They are going to hawaii and are hoping to put things on the honeymoon registry like "dinenr for two at the Hula Grill" or "Snorkeling trip with X tour company" or "Couples Massage from X Hotel Spa" They never anticipated that guests would pay fot he whole honeymoon, but might want to purchase soem extras for them. They are also allowing guest to jsut contribute to a general fund if they want to as the coupel is waiting until closer to time to purchase the airline tickets. (BTW this is a 41 yo widow and a 40something yo widower who are getting married and combining households)

Hey Miss Manners (NOT):<BR>Even though I agree that Amy's idea is not good one, I've got to say that your reply is not only lacking in class and tact, but that it's probably not the best advertising for theknot.com If you actually work for their website you may want to think twice about what you say and how you represent yourself. If you're not from theknot.com I would suggest you put some serious thought into the repercussions of representing yourself as such.

HEY WOW - <BR><BR>Bite me.<BR><BR>Now, with that said.<BR><BR>IT IS A WEDDING -- NOT A THE GOD DAMN JERRY LEWIS TELETHON.<BR><BR>Say "your presence is our present" and if they insist on giving a gift - pick a charity (not yourselves) that is near and dear to you and your values and donate ot them (ASPCA, AIDS research, cancer research, Make A Wish, etc.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>

"Bite me." Very clever!<BR><BR>The charity suggestion? I like it.<BR><BR>But.<BR><BR>Why is it that I find it impossible to believe that someone who would post such vituperative messages would be capable of being altruistic enough to donate money to charity?

WOW - <BR><BR>I went to a wedding where the above suggestion was utilized by most of the attendees. We sent the checks to the charity (we sent to MakeAWish) directly in honor of the newlyweds. The charity acknowledged our gift to us and also to the couple.<BR><BR>Good night all.<BR>

Honey,<BR>Why don't you just charge your guests an entrance admission of $25.00 at the church for your fundraising tactics or pass the collection plate around when you're saying your i do's.<BR>My goodness, what are we coming to when we have to hint for cash? If you don't want your umpteenth punchbowl, then don't register for such items but to actually ASK for money to be applied toward your honeymoon is way beyond bad taste.<BR>Miss Manners, you're language deletes your valid points even though I agree with Ms. Manners premise.<BR>I work as a wedding coordinator in Chicago and even though this is becoming popular with many couples, it is not looked upon favorably by most of their guests. Whatever your guests choose to get you is their business and you will probably collect enough money to use for a honeymoon, furniture, etc. so let it be without registering for a trip. <BR>Maybe the real issue is to scale down the wedding by style or guest list to accomodate your budget.<BR><BR><BR>

Great idea - try some of the wedding websites and post your question there where you won't get such obnoxious replies. Also look in the back of bridal magazines. As a recent bride - I know guests WANT an easy registry way to buy you something you want. I got asked about my registry before the invites were out. And no, I am not desperate and would never demand a gift of someone who came to my wedding - in fact, I refused to allow some guests to give gifts given their financial situation. That said - contributing to a honeymoon is a great idea, especially if you don't want useless china and duplicate appliances. You will always remember the wonderful trips you take together rather than a blender. isn't that what this website is all about? Maybe you could send out pictures of your travels with thank you cards.

I really don't have any problem with Amy's idea. Many couples now have on their registry lists things like buying shares of mutual funds and even things such as letting the wedding guests contribute to the downpayment on a new home. This is actually easier on the gift giver, as s/he can give more or less than intended, and there is no shopping involved.<BR><BR>There are still many gift givers that don't adhere to the registry list. I'd rather have a short list of items that I want, instead of having 12 food processors.<BR><BR>Amy, check The View's website on ABC -- they did a few shows on new innovative wedding gifts and things like contributions to the honeymoon, mutual funds and contributing toward the downpayment on a home were some of the topics covered.

Amy, a similar approach was taken by friends of my husband's who live in NYC. They don't have a lot of room for bunches of china and crystal, etc. So, they, through word of mouth, asked for gift certs and money so they could purchase the same things you mention. The key here is WORD OF MOUTH. Although I agree that it's nice to get things you want rather than things you don't (like the candy dish), there are good and bad ways of going about it. Yours is a bad one.

Miss Manners:<BR><BR>You are pretty damn funny. I had no idea what a honeymoon registry was but I am enlightened now.

Whenever I recieve a wedding invitation with a strongly worded suggestion for cash gifts only. I quickly oblige by having dinner at my favorite restaurant. I pay for it with the funds I would have been spending on a nice and returnable wedding gift. I am a firm believer that any invitation that actively suggest cash gets thrown in the trash, and I get a nice meal. This is the tackiest thing ever, and I don't want any part of it, and will probably never interact with tacky and cheap bride and groom again. This is wedding etiquette hell.....If you have to beg cash from your supposed guests then elope or do something on a smaller scale, instead of giving your guests something to snicker and snide about. I wonder how many of these people actually make money on this...well they would die before they got a penny of my money.

As the mother of a bride in her late twenties I have to reply to this. My daughter and her fiance have owned their own place (condo), furnished it, etc., over the last year. She is having a lovely wedding that will not be lacking in any little extras for the guests invited. She is registered at a couple of traditional places. That being said - she is also registered for gift certificates for her honeymoon through her travel agent. It is not a matter of being needy. Several guests - and not all of them young - want to give money, but like to have it go to a specific. Have times changed? I think so, and find nothing wrong with the changes. Those who don't wish to use this registry certainly don't have to, but for those (and there are many) who are grateful for the ease of it, it is a blessing.<BR><BR>I was brought up with "proper etiquette" and know all the rules. Personally I find many of the changes coming about refreshing.

I feel sorry for Miss Manners' husband! He should be cannonized.<BR><BR>Amy, search the board at Ultimatewedding.com and you may find teh answer to your question.

just an idea. i know of a couple who organised their own honeymoon(it was a world tour)and then made a list of expeiences for people to purchase.ie a meal for two at the best place in town ,a massage in a spa ,they also had some quite extreme one's like a bungge jump in australia and a visit to an orangutang orphanage.<BR>we bought them afternoon tea in someplace in NY cannot remember the name of it.when they came back they gave us a photo of them enjoying our purchase.

I am wondering where some of you ever got the idea that Amy was going to include this information in her weding invitations! She never said this. I don't care what you register for even if you are asking poeple make charitable donationsa s Miss Manners suggested, none of this would ever be included in a mailing with the wedding invitations! That is poor taste. Maybe Amy is passing thi info about the honeymoon registry by word of mouth, how do you know she is not? FYI: I posted last neight saying my aunt was doing this but they are not referenceing this registry or any info period regarding gifts in their wedding invitations! If people ask her what she (which they are already starting to do) she tells them, "we don't really need anything but we are registered at X if you inist on getting us something" My mom and I are also planning to a do a small "shower" for her which would include some family as well as church members (she and mom are sisters adn go to the same church) When peole RSVP for the shower, we will tell them about the honeymoon registry, that doesn't mean we are ORDERING people to purchase from it, they can get whatever they want. How do you all (and especially the VERY rude Miss Manners) know that is not what Amy is doing?

I see nothing wrong with registering for a honeymoon. It is not different than registering for china and crystal. A distant cousin married last year and she and her husband both are MD's, didn't need a thing, so the wedding coordinator convinced them to register for the honeymoon. As far as Miss Manners goes, she needs to switch to Emily Post's book because the former is not doing her any good. I also agree with the above poster that no where did the OP say she was including this information on the invitiation.