Can a guy ask a question about breastfeeding?
 

I have noticed more and more Moms breastfeeding in public. I am OK with that. Sometimes they do this in a partially secluded area and sometimes in a public area. Do they expect me to avoid this area while they do this? Can I just go on about my business? Should I try to avert my eyes, and should I turn my back to them when possible? Do they even notice that I am there?

What's this got to do with a travel forum. Presumably your fascination with globes.....

Breastfeeding is natural. Most woman who are completely comfortable with themselves do not expect you to avoid them while they are nursing. The polite thing to do would be to go about your normal business and not stare. You don't have to avert your eyes like you are witnessing some taboo act, but don't stare right at the woman's breasts like you have never seen one before. I have friends over all the time who are nursing. My husband comes and goes, has conversations with them, etc. The key is to not act like a nursing mother is doing something completely sexual or disgusting.

what if I've never seen a breast before? Can I stare? Can I sit right next to mother and child and watch the event close up? Is picture-taking allowed, how about touching?

Steve-While your question may be innocent enough, it has no business being asked on a travel forum and it is the type of question that brings out the nutcases, trolls and perverts. Next time, think about what you are posting before you hit the send button....

In my mind, my question was travel related because this sometimes happens while traveling. The most recent example was a hotel lobby in the chairs near the payphones while I was making a call, and I was just wondering how to act. But it has come up on planes and in stores, too. I didn't intend to cause trouble.

Steve, I think I know how you feel. Well, sort of. I was in the furniture section of Crate & Barrel this weekend, and a woman began nursing on one of the couches. There was a cabinet near her, and I wanted to check the price of it, but I didn't want to invade her space, but I didn't want to wait for her to finish, either. So I just went right over and checked the price and pretended I didn't notice the nursing. I suppose she wasn't offended. <BR> <BR>The only thing that annoyed me when I nursed in public was when someone would come over and admire the baby while I was nursing. Mostly, I just wanted to be ignored.

I'll believe this is a sincere question. It's sad that people don't know how to act in the presense of such a normal activity. I found it very hard to go about taking care of my child's needs because Americans have such difficulties with nursing. I remember a friend telling me about a trip to Italy. She had just gotten her dinner, at a restaurant, when the baby demanded his dinner. Seeing how busy the Mom was, the waiter gallently came over and cut up her food so she could eat it with one hand. So matter of fact... <BR>I can't give you advice other than I appreciate your wanting to make women feel more comfortable as they take care of their children. I think you'll be a supportive father, someday.

Any decent smart nursing woman will conceal any evidence making it hard to tell that they're even doing so aside from the fact that you can't find the baby's face anywhere in the pile of baby, blankets, Mom's shirt, etc. <BR> <BR>I prefer to be ignored when I nurse in public. And, I don't even prefer to nurse in public, but babies don't understand that, they only know that they are hungry NOW! I would imagine most women don't set out hoping that they will need to nurse their baby while they are out shopping or what have you, but sometimes it's necessary. Yes, we notice that you're there because we're thinking, "I hope noone cares that I'm doing this here or watches me." So going about your business is the best bet to keeping both of us as comfortable as possible. <BR> <BR>

Peeing is a natural and normal function as well, but I don't plan to do it in the middle of a Crate and Barrel! Can't these women find some privacy?

I agree that nursing makes people (including the mother sometimes) and should not be done in public. Another surprise, I AM A MOTHER WHO NURSED MY DAUGHTER FOR THE FIRST 3 MONTHS. I would never have done it in public not only because I was afraid it might make others uncomfortable but also because as someone said, going to the bathroom is natural too, but I don't do it in front of people even discreetly. Yes there are times when you are out and your child gets hungry, but I never found it terrible to go to the car to nurse or the ladies lounge area. i would never want people to gawk

Amen, Sam. Maybe next time I'm in public I'll just find a corner, pull down my pants and relieve myself. After all, it's natural. Right? And if you're in public, well be prepared to stared at okay? <BR> <BR>To me, this is the same as blowing your nose at the table, leaning your airplane seat all the way back into the person behind you, or letting your kids run wild in public. Nobody wants to see it. Why must our society center around mothers and their babies? "I have a baby, so everyone else needs to accomodate ME." Whatever.

I agree with ??? and Sam-When I was nursing, I would go to the Ladies Lounge or my car not only for my own privacy, but out of consideration for others. I also had a bottle of pumped milk available in case I could not go to my car or the lounge. I do not understand why some mothers have to whip it out in public. Whatever happened to decency and decorum??? It just goes to show that people today and mothers especially feel they are owed some sort of entitlement by everyone else!

So I hate to nurse in public too, but sometimes it's not possible to go to the bathroom or whatever. I've had enough problems with the baby's latch and what have you to not be able to nurse in odd locations. I NEED to be in chair! Also, why should I go spend 20 minutes or so staring at a bathroom wall when you can't see anything when I'm nursing anyhow? Now I'm not saying find the most obvious place, but if a woman is discreetly in the booth at a restaurant or the most remote bench in the mall, is it really asking too much to just let her be?

another interesting discussion on the same topic in the Europe Forum. To those who equate breastfeeding in public with peeing in public: I don't want to see your genitals or your urine in public, but when women nurse discreetly in public you usually cannot see either their breast or the milk. (in spite of the fact that we seem to have no problem with the breasts that are plastered all over billboards in this country, and we have no problem looking at, or even DRINKING a glass of cow's milk). Peeing and drinking milk are not equivalent functions. I would much rather see a woman nurse a baby in public than hear a woman humiliating or hitting a child in the grocery store or McDonald's. I have seen a lot of women nursing discreetly in public but I have never seen one of them "whip it out".

I don't see why moms can't nurse their babies in public w/o everyone getting in such an uproar. Why do we need guidelines for bahving humanely. I don't understand why people would wish to look - a nursing baby on a breast ... wow ... check that out!! Oh, come on .. surely we've made some progress in this country. Moms feeding babies - what could be more natural? If it makes you concerned, get help.

Monica has a point and I think in the USA that it is appropriate to do just as she suggests. Discreet is the operative word. The problems come with lack of discretion. When you are in public places you are exposed to those who may not have your own enlightened attitude. I had a sister-in-law who thought it was her "right" to expose herself in a very inappropriate way to make the point of her entitlement. Many males and females alike are embarrassed by this lack of sensitivity. Last year I saw that same kind of behavior at the head table of a wedding. Full breast / nipple exposed and the baby too big and too uninterested to make it plausible. Half the people in the place were so uncomfortable that they were staring at their own plates. And not because of the nudity,but because the husband was red as a beet and obviously terribly uncomfortable.

When our society stops viewing breasts as sexual, then attitudes will change. I seriously doubt this will happen in our lifetime. Until then...go to the lounge, your car or carry a bottle of expressed milk. If you simply cannot abide by this---stay home!

I love it ... advice based on horror stories. Please explain exactly why someone should have to retire to a hidden place to feed a baby (or stay home) just because someone esle saw an actual nipple in public? If that's going to be the rule of the day, I'd suggest that guys on the beach need to cover up ... is that where we're headed? Every year we went to Guadeloupe, FWI, and guess what ... moms fed their babies right out in public on the beach. And topless women played baci ball next to the bar, in full sight of the guys. And we all managed to stay calm, and life as we know it went on. Maybe Hill was right .. there is a vast faith-based, right-wing conspiracy afoot, but this time it's to cover up the American breast.

FedUp: <BR> <BR>So, for example, on my recent trip to Oregon to my sister's wedding, I was supposed to miss my flight home because the baby woke up screaming with hunger right when it was time to board? Or maybe just miss the wedding altogether because someone might have seen a bit of my breast at some point during the trip (although I don't see how, unless they were absolutely staring from an angle above me)?

Moncia-Screaming babies don't belong on planes anymore than exposed breasts. You should either have left your kid at home, gave it a bottle or stayed home with your kid. I hope the next time you fly, you are seated next to a screaming kid!

Hey, Monica, they're a******s - pay no attention to their backwards ways. You can never reach that kind - they probably had a lousy childhood and never enjoyed the benfits of breastfeeding. When people start in on their "screaming kids on airplanes" complaints, it's time to tell them to kiss off.

You stupid feminists started this crap by dragging your screaming kids on planes and other places where they don't belong AND then exposing your breasts while breastfeeding because you feel that it is your given right! Well, guess what Monica and L and the rest of you...some of us don't like it and don't want it done next to us!!!!!

Well, sickofyou, fortunately for the health of my baby you can't do a thing about how I decide to feed her! And FYI, this flight was full of families, so I did get to hear babies crying. I survived! (My baby, on the other hand, was as quiet as a lamb because she was sleeping as she had just been fed). <BR> <BR>Also, another point I didn't realize until I had a child. Sure, you can feed the baby a bottle, but if you're breastfeeding sooner or later you're going to need to get rid of that milk or you'll explode! So all things considered, better to just feed the baby the way nature intended and be done with it. <BR> <BR>I would actually think feminists had nothing to do with breastfeeding. Aren't they out neglecting their families with their demanding careers? :)

As a nonbreastfeeding mother, I would have given the child a bottle adn gotten being embarrassed if my child continued to cry, as a breatfeeding mom, i would hve done the same thing the only differnce being the bottle milk would come from my breast pump! You cannot inconvenience others and should not or maybe you should have gotten a babysitter!

Guys, you did not understand our dubious friend Steve: he is asking what to do while travelling - that's why this forum exists - and you have answered what to do in stores, in restaurants...

I have news for the anti-breastfeeding-in-public crowd. Moms are nursing all around you, all the time. You just don't notice because they are discreet about it. I know this because people would interrupt me all of the time to ask a question when I was nursing in public. Sometimes they wanted to admire the baby, sometimes they wanted to know I wanted them to wait on me, whatever. They were always surprised to learn that I was nursing. That's because I practiced in front of a mirror to get good at it. <BR> <BR>So before you condemn all nursing moms, know that most of us are quite good at it and won't bother you.

Steve, just do what you should do in any other situation: if the boobs are beatiful, take a quick look, pretending you are not looking. If they are bad , read a book!

Well, SickOfYou, the way you behave, it's a wonder somebody doesn't kick your silly ass. You're just the type of nut to go off on a plane. I do hope I'm never stuck on a plane with you or any of your ilk. I'll take the screaming baby over the screaming "adult" anytime. Ciao, AH.

Well, Leone, if you feel this way you probably have ugly ones... Hope not to see you in a plane either...

I am sick to death of mothers whining about their right to breastfeed in public. What about OUR rights not to see it? If you want to be discreet, go somewhere private, not at a restaurant table or elsewhere where it will bother people! <BR> <BR>I also have the right to fly in peace and quiet!!!! <BR> <BR>You people whine about your given rights , but when it comes to others rights, you simply ignore them!

Jimbo, Pops ... Report to the office.

<BR> <BR>Hi all! I have a wonderful story to share. One time I was sitting in a window booth while lunching at Walter's Fine Fish in Oswego, New York (don't try the steamers...yuk!!). My ten-month-old son Edgar, who had been happily gumming a day-old biscuit, suddenly began to wail like...well, like he was hungry. Nonplussed, I did what any normal mom would do--I fed the little guy! Unfortunately, he was only a few minutes into his liquid lunch when a man walking briskly down the street happened to glance over and spot us through the window. Apparently he was surprised by the sight because he ran smack into a "No Parking" sign, spun wildly into the street, and was crushed by an MTA bus. Now maybe that doesn't sound so wonderful, but get this: that man was my husband! That's right, old Frank Hawley. I hated his guts because not only was he a cheapskate a cheating pig (he slept with my sister Norma!), he didn't change one damned diaper in the whole ten months. What a lousy, stinking piece of garbage. Anyway, he was insured for $500,000 (why, I have no idea--to me he wasn't worth a plugged nickel). Now little Edgar and I are living on the beach in Destin. And before any of you other jerks get smarty-pants ideas: FORGET IT! I changed my name.

Why would you be breast-feeding a 10month old anyway? Most babies are eating food and walking by that time! I hope you don't turn out like that lady in Chicago who was arrested for sexual abuse for forcing her son to continue breatfeeding once he was past the age!

Pediatricians recommend breastfeeding for the full first year of life. Of course, once they start solids they aren't breastfeeding very much.

Historically, many children were breastfed for 18-24 months. The longer they drink breastmilk (up to 24 months), the healthier children will be. It's been proven in many studies. Many women give it up after 3 or 6 months because that's the maximum they can stand but the minimum to ensure superior health benifits. Breast *is* best--there's a good women women lactate! We should be doing everything possible to encourage it, including making it easier for women to breastfeed discreetly in public when they must. I can't believe some people actually think that doing the best thing for your child is a crime worthy of house arrest. If you don't want to see women breastfeeding in public, then just ignore them! The women flaunting their bare breasts while nursing are certainly in the minoity. Geesh.

I truly did not want to get into this as this is not the proper forum but looks like I will have to. PLEASE QUIT PUSHING YOUR OPINIONS ON EVERYONE ELSE. And yes, it is your OPINION that breastmilk is best! I was never breastfed as a child and I did not feed either of my children either. We are all healthy and have at least average (maybe above average) IQs. I do find nursing in public offensive and in my case nursing was inconvenient as I had to return to work after only 3 weeks when my second child was born. Yes people have the right to breastfeed not because it is best for the child (your opinion only) but because this is a free country. However, you shold not offend others by doing it in public just as you should not offend others by doing such things as smoking in some public places (also your right by the way)

As you can see from the previous post, there is nothing more defensive than a mother who didn't breastfeed. Breast is best, and everyone knows it. If you didn't breastfeed, that's fine. It's your call. But there's no reason to get hostile when people point out that breast is best. Don't take it so personally.

It's not just anyone's OPINION that breast is best. It is a scientific FACT based on multiple research studies over many years. Increased breastfeeding rates would save this country BILLIONS of health care dollars, and breastfeeding rates will only increase when people stop being so HOSTILE to breastfeeding moms, who are giving of themselves to their babies in a way that no one else can. Worldwide average weaning age is currently about 4 years old, by the way.

xxxx, as the above two posters stated, it is proven scientific fact that breastmilk is best and superior to formula. It is a choice that all parents must make, and no one is trying to demonize women who don't choose to breastfeed. Many, like yourself, cannot do so for various (including medical) reasons. And no one is saying that formula-fed infants are necessarily unhealthy or less-than-intelligent; good lord, if that were so the whole baby-boom generation would be ailing and stupid, as breastfeeding ws discouraged throughout the 50s by many doctors. But as I said before, if you find public breastfeeding offensive, IGNORE IT. But no, it is not opinion that breast is best, it is medical fact.