GoT: When there is a lull in the on-board action, you must give everyone a copy of these hilarious rules to read aloud. But line the seats with plastic first...just in case :D

"You've got enough room" If the circus can cram 35 people into a VW Bug, you can sit quietly and not touch your sister/brother/etc. for the next few hours.

Driver controls radio.

Please let them stop to use the bathroom. Mama will appreciate that.

No, you may not fog up the windows with your breath and write signs to strangers.

No, your pillow doesn't get more space than your sister.

No, your little sister cannot ride in the trunk, I don't care how bad her feet smell.

No, I don't want to talk about Harry Potter any more.

No, you may not shove pretzels up your big sister's nostrils while she's sleeping. I don't care how funny she looks.

No, we cannot turn around and drive 4 hours because you forgot your cd player and no we are not going to buy you a new one.

No, you cannot play with all the ring tones on my cell phone. And no, I don't think its funny to have the Hallelujah Chorus set as a ringtone.

I have actually tried many of these, often without much luck. But I couldn't stop laughing....Will have to take a copy along this summer driving 18+ hours in two days to Colorado with two kids!

Regarding how much stuff kids can bring - if you bring it, you carry it. It must fit in your allotted space, must not be alive and must not smell. If you forget it at a stop it is your problem. After the age of 10 you pack for yourself. If that means you bring 200 CDs and no underwear, too bad.

We will be hitting the road early. Beauty sleep is overrated and vacations are for doing things and going places.

We will be stopping at historical/educational sites on the way. I don't care if this is your vacation too, you will learn something on this trip. I would prefer that you act as though you like/appreciate it but I can get along if you don't.

ttt just because I'm laughing so hard - we're headed to California next week with our two youngest kids, and I'm sure some variation of these rules will be in effect!

Lee Ann

Oh good grief GoTravel, I don't know when I have laughed so hard!!! Too funny.

First of all this reminded me of when my parents took my younger brother and I on trips. Dad always threatened "I am going to stop the car and you two will be sorry" every 30 minutes. Couldn't figure out what HIS problem was.

Until - yep, taking road trips with kids in the back seat.

Uhm, about that "don't care how bad you have to go". Warning! my DH told our daughter that once when she was about 5 years old. She did have a tendancy to want to stop everytime we turned around. We were in our brand new TBird. Well brand new until the back seat got christened. Oh good heavens, that was not a happy or peaceful day, LOL.

Happy travels everyone!

Woah GoTravel and everyone, too too funny! Thanks for some GREAT morning laughs! We griswolds can totally relate to each and every post ;) Been there done that have the tee shirt! (lots of them ;) ) I'm printing this and will read it to our road trippin family this summer, when we're on our ninth cross country ADVENTURE. :D Estimated mileage for this 3.5 weeker, 7,000!

I'll add another: We WILL stop for directions the MINUTE we think we're lost. I don't CARE if we have ONSTAR and tons of maps, gas station peeps know better!

Happy travels road trippers! :D

I like to bring a box of Trivial Pursuit cards to read while traveling...sorry about the transfer company suggestion-I didn't realize you were coming all the way from SC...take a deep breath and come on down ! :-)

How funny, I bought 8 packs of Battle Of The Sexes and Worse Case Scenario Game Cards.

Oh no, that won't erupt into WWIII in the van.

Worst case ones are funny !..now watch, everyone will fall asleep and none of this will matter.....ha ha, probably not :-)

Great post !

I will add a few that may be unique for travelling with a 3 year old son, and dog...

1) You Will Pee on command, and I don't care how many people are watching from the road.( said to both dog, son, and husband ! )

2) You will not pull hairs from the dogs tail to make her jump...she doesn't think it's funny...

3) Dog drool is not a form of paint, and you will not use it on the back of daddy's seat...

4) No, we can't stop to pet the cows with the big horns...

5) If you say "why" one more time, Mama will call Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy and all the grandparents and tell them you don't want any more presents for the next 2 years !

Gotta love road trips.

2)

I forgot a couple of very important rules:

Do not kick the back of the seats!

If you call your brother "stoooopid" one more time I will take away your cell phone and stereo AND you will not get your drivers license until you are 21!!!!!!!

This all reminds me of the time I took my 4 kids to Disney World. We had a rental station wagon and were staying at a motel just outside of the park. The trip to the DW parking lot took maybe 20 minutes, and the two youngest kids tended to get a little rambunctious sitting in the back of the car. My reasonable, rational technique was to stop the car as soon as the yelling started, pull over to the side of the road, and explain sweetly that it wasn't safe to drive if the driver was being upset by the nasty racket in the back seat; as soon as the rabble calmed down, the trip would proceed. One morning there had been a couple of these stops and finally my 14-year-old eldest daughter said "Oh, for Heaven's sake," reached into her purse and pulled out a chocolate bar. She snapped it in half, gave one chunk to each of her little sibs, and watched while they abandoned their quarrel and contentedly munched on chocolate. "Mom," she said firmly, "sometimes you have to do what works."

GoT,

Why the 3 restroom stops? Wouldn't a giant box of "Depends" do the trick? :D

The Depends Undergarment would have to be disposed of in a responsible manner.


Please refer to rule #9. Aluminum is easier to recycle.

Yes, you will do that travel journal your teacher assigned.

Yes, the bathroom at the rest stop is gross and disgusting but use it anyway.

Yes, you will take the pretzels out of your own nose.

Yes, you will too do what I tell you to do.

Yes, I am the boss of you.

And yes, I will leave you by the side of the road and I don't care if I go to jail.

(Along the lines of the Depends, do they make Pull-Ups for 9 year olds.?)

And people wonder why don't have kids :))

Although you might be tempted to leave the kids by the side of the road- another good rule should be sure you actually have all the family members back in the car after a pit stop- I know a person who left their new baby sleeping under the table in a restaurant as they were driving across Kansas at night- had several other kids-everyone was tired, got back in the car and everyone fell asleep ( except the driver of course) Mom was dozing off and suddenly realized baby was missing and they didnt even know the exit number of where they had been.
They were finally all reunited and baby is alive and well -