Add To My Roadtrip Rules?
 

Having to lay down the law for my family for upcoming roadtrip. Have some rules and want to know if anyone could add any useful rules?

1.) Only three stops between Columbia and Miami, don't care how bad you have to 'go'.

2.) Don't care if you want something to drink. There are drinks in the cooler.

3.) Don't care that you haven't eaten since yesterday. There are sandwiches in the cooler.

4.) Tough if you don't like mayo.

5.) Ditto for mustard. Trade with your seatmate/brother/sister/parent/stranger sitting next to you.

6.) Stop complaining about the AC and put on a sweater. It is June in Florida for crissakes.

7.) Stop complaining that the AC isn't working. Take off your sweater. It is June in Florida for crissakes.

8.) No, we are not there yet.

9.) I still don't care if you have to 'go'. Use empty drink can from rule #2.

10.) Don't aggrivate 'me' the co-pilot. I am responsible for your fathers/son-in-laws/brother-in-laws/friends happiness and if I'm aggrivated, everyone is unhappy.

11.) You will play whatever car games I decide and will be happy and enjoy them.

12. ABSOLUTELY no singing of "Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall"!!!!!!

I would change #10 to "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

GoTravel... or should we say, "GrrrrrrrrrrrTravel" :D

Have maps for everyone to follow along, that way when someone says, "where are we?", they can look it up for themselves. Good geography and map reading lessons involved as well! ;;)

BTW, thanks for the Black Mountain input on my Asheville thread!

GoTravel...remind me never to go on a car road trip with you!!!! LOL!

My only roadtrip rule is to go in a motorhome so you can avoid all your rules except #8 and #10.

With a motorhome I have a built in bathroom so I can go anytime I want with comfort. I have a built in refrigerator/freezer so we can even have icecream! All our groceries easy to get to so I can make the sandwiches any way you want them. I have easy access to warmer/cooler clothes and can change accordingly as we drive. I have even been know to curl up in a blanket. I have my lap top computer to work on or books to read but prefer to enjoy the scenery as we drive.

Utahtea

Please add:


Do not touch each other! Stay within your 24 inches of seat space.

Do not look at each other!

are only men going? I don't think a drink can would work to well for a woman - you must not like your car much! :)

a couple of others:

1) I don't care if he/she is touching you. stay in your own space.

2) play "sugarbowl" - whomever is silent the longest wins.

3) I don't care if you don't like what I picked on the radio/cd player/tape recorder. I'm the driver and I get to pick.

4) Do not sing along with the song - I chose this song because I wanted to listen to the singer sing it - not you.

Regarding games..."flipping the bird" and "mooning" is reserved for the driver and co-pilot only. Find another way to entertain yourselves!

Hi, Go! Your rules are good so far. I might add:

12. If I have to reach over the front seat because one of you is "touching" a sibling and making him or her shriek, I will rip off the offending toucher's limb and beat him or her with the wet end.

13. If W-CRAPPO ("All Billy Ray Cyrus! All the time!") is the only radio station coming in static-free between Podunk and East Toad Suck, we will listen to it and like it until we hit a town with more agreeable playlists. Complainers will be unpaid bellboys for the remainder of the trip. And don't you start whining about your missing arms from rule 12, mister/missie!!

14. Tough about passing that McDonald's. You didn't put in your Happy Meal order before we left-- don't come crying to me. Besides, what are YOU going to do with a Darth Vader action figure, Stumpy?!

15. Well, I'm sorry you've read all the books you brought. When we're at home I have to force you with threat of overwhelming nuclear force to read, and NOW you're complaining about being bored with your books?! Here! Have you ever read the Owner's Manual for the car?!... Have your brother/sister turn the pages, Stumpy.

A little violent, sure, but oh the mayhem of our road trips! I wish you the best in avoiding the mistakes of my family.

Enjoy.

NO FARTING IN THE CAR!!

If you absolutely have to fart and can't hold back, at least roll down the window.

In college I went w/dh and two of his roomates (we planned the trip, they tagged along) to Key West non-stop from Ohio. One of them (who is now a big time lawyer) farted CONSTANTLY. We asked that he at least give us fair warning to roll down the windows and get some air flowing. Aaarrrgh!! I as thrilled when we dropped him off at the campground (ie: parking lot w/tents) and went off to our motel. :-)

rjw: #15 has brought tears to my eyes, LOL!!! Very funny :D

These are hysterical!

No paper or map games since they will take them from me to turn into weapons to use against me!

After a rather eventful trip through the Maritime provinces with my kids (back when they were kids):
Do NOT barf in your brother's sneaker, even though by taking his shoes off he has provided you with a handy container.

Based on the prior responses, I would require a stop at a Beer drive-thru or other appropriate venue that serves alcoholic beverages in every state entered. This way I don't have to resort to the next rule which is to tie the annoying co-pilot to the roof...Vodka will go well w/the complimentary OJ or Grapefruit juice you get when entering Fla. LOL.

two more from this end:

- re the farting - don't pretend it wasn't you - we all know it was you and you aren't hiding anything - be honest and as stated earlier, give fair warning, b/c if you don't, the world will know of your issue with farting

- no cell phone conversations in the car unless someone is dying. I don't need to hear your loud conversation to someone I don't know while I'm trying to concentrate. If you attempt to do so, I will turn up NPR so loud you would have been able to hear it back from where you came.

- yes, I know the drive is boring - I don't need to be consistently reminded by you that it's boring as I'm trying to keep my eyes open and stay awake driving.

- No arm movements to "ask" a truck driver to honk his horn for you. First, I do not need to be scared that I'm going to be run over by a truck while I'm driving and hear the honk. Second, one of these days, one of those truck drivers is going to mistake that arm movement for another and then we're all done for.

sunbabe, the first thing I thought of was - "he's touching my arm, he's staring at me."

You forgot the biggest rule of all:

WINDOW ROTATION - I get the window now, you had it twice already. STRICT ROTATION.

And Go Travel, there is a great game where you do not need paper, pencil etc.
and it keeps them off each other for at least an hour or two.

You need to be the first one to see a sign with a place name etc.(YOU make the rules)with A, then B, then C. You go all the way through the alphabet.
No prizes or scores needed, finding the X & Z ones are always their own reward.

Sunbabe - I can't count how many times I've told my older son not to talk or even to LOOK at his brother! lol.

Based on past experiences, we've learned it's very helpful to have a map in the car (yes, we've forgotten maps). And in Florida this might not be as important, but in the non-populated west - make sure you fill the gas tank when you're in civilization. We've had anxious moments when the gas gauge was hovering on "E" when we were in the middle of nowhere!

A portable DVD player or in-car TV is the best invention in the WORLD for long car trips.

Forgot to say, about this last game.

If you take the same route more than twice or thrice, be prepared for the ones who remember where the Q or Z signs were. First one who "reads" the sign correctly outloud is the criteria.

Always be prepared for those who are visually challenged saying it is "Not fair."

You guys are awsome and Mr.GoTravel is howling while reading the responses and sends his thanks.

We will be in a 15 passenger van driving from Columbia, South Carolina (picking up stepchildren) to Miami, Florida via Interstate-26 (short time) and mostly I-95.

The youngest passenger is my soon to be 18 year old stepdaughter and the oldest my 69 year old mother.

You think Go Travel is strict!

My rules include no tv, video etc., hand-held electronic games when there are people present to talk with. And no books or newspapers at meals for 2 or more. Made up stories or any music is ok, as long as one person does not duel with another over type.

Believe it or not this last ended up once with no radio at all. My daughter 30 plus could no longer put up with my guy's jazz station.

GoT: When there is a lull in the on-board action, you must give everyone a copy of these hilarious rules to read aloud. But line the seats with plastic first...just in case :D

"You've got enough room" If the circus can cram 35 people into a VW Bug, you can sit quietly and not touch your sister/brother/etc. for the next few hours.

Driver controls radio.

Please let them stop to use the bathroom. Mama will appreciate that.

No, you may not fog up the windows with your breath and write signs to strangers.

No, your pillow doesn't get more space than your sister.

No, your little sister cannot ride in the trunk, I don't care how bad her feet smell.

No, I don't want to talk about Harry Potter any more.

No, you may not shove pretzels up your big sister's nostrils while she's sleeping. I don't care how funny she looks.

No, we cannot turn around and drive 4 hours because you forgot your cd player and no we are not going to buy you a new one.

No, you cannot play with all the ring tones on my cell phone. And no, I don't think its funny to have the Hallelujah Chorus set as a ringtone.

I have actually tried many of these, often without much luck. But I couldn't stop laughing....Will have to take a copy along this summer driving 18+ hours in two days to Colorado with two kids!

Regarding how much stuff kids can bring - if you bring it, you carry it. It must fit in your allotted space, must not be alive and must not smell. If you forget it at a stop it is your problem. After the age of 10 you pack for yourself. If that means you bring 200 CDs and no underwear, too bad.

We will be hitting the road early. Beauty sleep is overrated and vacations are for doing things and going places.

We will be stopping at historical/educational sites on the way. I don't care if this is your vacation too, you will learn something on this trip. I would prefer that you act as though you like/appreciate it but I can get along if you don't.

ttt just because I'm laughing so hard - we're headed to California next week with our two youngest kids, and I'm sure some variation of these rules will be in effect!

Lee Ann

Oh good grief GoTravel, I don't know when I have laughed so hard!!! Too funny.

First of all this reminded me of when my parents took my younger brother and I on trips. Dad always threatened "I am going to stop the car and you two will be sorry" every 30 minutes. Couldn't figure out what HIS problem was.

Until - yep, taking road trips with kids in the back seat.

Uhm, about that "don't care how bad you have to go". Warning! my DH told our daughter that once when she was about 5 years old. She did have a tendancy to want to stop everytime we turned around. We were in our brand new TBird. Well brand new until the back seat got christened. Oh good heavens, that was not a happy or peaceful day, LOL.

Happy travels everyone!

Woah GoTravel and everyone, too too funny! Thanks for some GREAT morning laughs! We griswolds can totally relate to each and every post ;) Been there done that have the tee shirt! (lots of them ;) ) I'm printing this and will read it to our road trippin family this summer, when we're on our ninth cross country ADVENTURE. :D Estimated mileage for this 3.5 weeker, 7,000!

I'll add another: We WILL stop for directions the MINUTE we think we're lost. I don't CARE if we have ONSTAR and tons of maps, gas station peeps know better!

Happy travels road trippers! :D

I like to bring a box of Trivial Pursuit cards to read while traveling...sorry about the transfer company suggestion-I didn't realize you were coming all the way from SC...take a deep breath and come on down ! :-)

How funny, I bought 8 packs of Battle Of The Sexes and Worse Case Scenario Game Cards.

Oh no, that won't erupt into WWIII in the van.

Worst case ones are funny !..now watch, everyone will fall asleep and none of this will matter.....ha ha, probably not :-)

Great post !

I will add a few that may be unique for travelling with a 3 year old son, and dog...

1) You Will Pee on command, and I don't care how many people are watching from the road.( said to both dog, son, and husband ! )

2) You will not pull hairs from the dogs tail to make her jump...she doesn't think it's funny...

3) Dog drool is not a form of paint, and you will not use it on the back of daddy's seat...

4) No, we can't stop to pet the cows with the big horns...

5) If you say "why" one more time, Mama will call Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy and all the grandparents and tell them you don't want any more presents for the next 2 years !

Gotta love road trips.

2)

I forgot a couple of very important rules:

Do not kick the back of the seats!

If you call your brother "stoooopid" one more time I will take away your cell phone and stereo AND you will not get your drivers license until you are 21!!!!!!!

This all reminds me of the time I took my 4 kids to Disney World. We had a rental station wagon and were staying at a motel just outside of the park. The trip to the DW parking lot took maybe 20 minutes, and the two youngest kids tended to get a little rambunctious sitting in the back of the car. My reasonable, rational technique was to stop the car as soon as the yelling started, pull over to the side of the road, and explain sweetly that it wasn't safe to drive if the driver was being upset by the nasty racket in the back seat; as soon as the rabble calmed down, the trip would proceed. One morning there had been a couple of these stops and finally my 14-year-old eldest daughter said "Oh, for Heaven's sake," reached into her purse and pulled out a chocolate bar. She snapped it in half, gave one chunk to each of her little sibs, and watched while they abandoned their quarrel and contentedly munched on chocolate. "Mom," she said firmly, "sometimes you have to do what works."

GoT,

Why the 3 restroom stops? Wouldn't a giant box of "Depends" do the trick? :D

The Depends Undergarment would have to be disposed of in a responsible manner.


Please refer to rule #9. Aluminum is easier to recycle.

Yes, you will do that travel journal your teacher assigned.

Yes, the bathroom at the rest stop is gross and disgusting but use it anyway.

Yes, you will take the pretzels out of your own nose.

Yes, you will too do what I tell you to do.

Yes, I am the boss of you.

And yes, I will leave you by the side of the road and I don't care if I go to jail.

(Along the lines of the Depends, do they make Pull-Ups for 9 year olds.?)

And people wonder why don't have kids :))

Although you might be tempted to leave the kids by the side of the road- another good rule should be sure you actually have all the family members back in the car after a pit stop- I know a person who left their new baby sleeping under the table in a restaurant as they were driving across Kansas at night- had several other kids-everyone was tired, got back in the car and everyone fell asleep ( except the driver of course) Mom was dozing off and suddenly realized baby was missing and they didnt even know the exit number of where they had been.
They were finally all reunited and baby is alive and well -