I don't travel alone; DH loves to go as much as I. But we have had many a great conversation with single diners we've met along the way. One evening in a piazza in Rome there was a lady dining alone on either side of our table. The four of us ended up enjoying after dinner drinks and trading travel stories.

Even at home, we will tell our hostess (as she seats us) that we'd be delighted to share a table with another couple. We've met some wonderful people in our own home town that way.

I almost always travel alone!

I like the freedom it gives me to make a tentative plan, but then change it spontaneously if something wonderful (like an unexpected invitation from a newly-made friend!) presents itself.

But I admit that I really hate to eat a "sit-down", elegant dinner alone. Even here where I live, in NYC, I generally think of those occasions as social opportunities for long, leisurely chats with my companions (as such, I tend to prefer extended dinnertimes, up to 3 hours or more, in the European way!). But when I am alone, usually I am simply eating for fuel; even here at home, I rarely eat at a restaurant table alone: this is largely because I am petite (& eat several small meals a day, which works best for my metabolism) and I am very high-energy, so my "vacations" are filled with a lot of running around!

As a result, I will sometimes eat at a table alone early in the day (e.g., breakfast), when I can use it as an opportunity to consult my guidebooks, etc, & plan my day's activities. If my hotel offers breakfast included, I show personal interest in the breakfast room staff, who generally treat me like gold thereafter(!); on occasion, if I see someone else alone but who looks interesting, I will sometimes ask him/her to join me.

The rest of the day, I will either carry some fruit & water with me (if I am lucky, my accommodations will include a small fridge-not wetbar-where I can store local grocery purchases for late night snacks etc ); otherwise, I will pick up something at the neighborhood bakery, make a picnic out of a mixture of native foods, stop off for a snack at a coffee bar or sweets shop, or take the opportunity to sample local specialties (e.g.: crepes in Paris, herring in Amsterdam, empanadas in Buenos Aires, etc) found on every corner, giving me the opportunity to eat like the locales!

I love to seek out produce markets & workers'cafes & eat as they do; the people-watching opportunities (& sometimes the resultant conversations!) & the chance to sample unusual, but authentic & inexpensive, dishes can't be beat!

Since I do eat only a little at a time, but often, & also am usually on a budget, I take advantage of the Mediterannean custom that charges less for the same food item if ordered standing at the bar than served at a dining room or outdoor cafe table. By eating the little dishes such places offer (e.g.: tapas in Spain, cicchetti in Venice), I minimize my costs while maximizing my opportunity to try a variety of foods that I might be less adventurous about if committing to an expensive entree at table! I also increase my chances of meeting people in such a convivial atmosphere! If I find a place not to my liking, I can just go on to another! And I can go from bar to bar in this way, sampling the country's wine or beer, snacking, chatting, & soaking up the real life of the people! :)

If I do eat alone at a restaurant table at dinner, however, I will usually choose an outdoor cafe with a lovely view, if possible. Then I will sometimes chat with people at a nearby table, depending on the proximity & whether I find them interesting. Often I will strike up a friendship with my server. But I do both of these out of real interest in the people,not desperation for company. I admit that this may be easier for me than for some others: I may be an "older" single woman, but I don't look it or feel it (I have friends of all ages, from all over the world), am an artist & quite cosmopolitan with varied interests, & am genuinely curious about almost everything! An innocent question on my part can lead to a quick answer, a long conversation, or a lifelong friendship! It may be a function of my own personality, but I find that when I am alone, I am much more likely to speak to a stranger & possibly meet a local, than if I were with a friend, whether at dinner or elsewhere.

Of course, I find it helps if the restaurant is cozy & casual, & I absolutely avoid tourist places, generally preferring local hangouts, particularly those which are family-run. Learning even a few words of the language, showing respect for customs, responding to puppies & babies, can all serve me well too! :)

I also tend to spend at least a week or more in one city &, if I find a place I like, I frequent it often (& tip nicely, if not extravagantly); I make friends & soon find a happy greeting & my favorite beverage awaiting me when I arrive! Nice! :)

I am travelling alone by choice, so my natural curiosity, sense of adventure, & genuine interest in nearly everything cancel out any pity about my solitary situation & usually makes interactions with others more accessible. And for me, the people I've met on my travels generally trump the sightseeing, no matter how spectacular, nearly every time! :)

stardancer:
I could not have said it better myself! I also have the same MO as you do, and love solo travel. I think it is a great way to really experience any culture.

I'm getting so inspired by all the input in this sight I'm actually starting to look forward to eating alone. Think I'll book a nice place tonight. LOL

A tip I observed at a bar: A woman seated herself right beside me and my partner though there were lots of other seats. She probably did that so she wouldn't seem to be alone or be hit on. Also when I last dined on my own at a nice restaurant, when I went away for a weekend, I put my cell on 'vibe' and texted back and forth with a friend while waiting for my food.

I think the journaling is a good idea too. But what about after dinner? How do you paint the town red when you are middle aged and no longer want to go to places for 18 year-olds?I usually use the dinner as my evening's entertainment so never go to dinner early as some have suggested. How to hook up with others for conversation over or after dinner?

Well, I'm really not interested in painting the town red, at home or when traveling. I make dinner my major evening entertainment, although I might spend some time just walking around afterwards if I'm in somewhere like Italy, or many parts of Asia. If I did want something more exciting (not always a good thing) I'd probably look for an Irish bar... Staying in hostels can be a good way to find people to talk and travel with, but I really prefer to stay a bit higher up the comfort scale.

I may have done the hostel thing 30 years ago but I like a few more creature comforts now myself. And the 'painting the town red' may be an exaggeration. Maybe 'peach' would be closer to it. lol

My point was that I so enjoy good conversation over dinner and after with friends and though I truly like to travel alone during the day, this is the hardest part; not being able to share your daily experiences,reactions to what you're tasting, sharing a meal. I guess it just comes with the territory?

MsLizzy - totally understand the desire for conversation - I handle some of that with email. I write a trip report as I travel and send it to an email list run off my website, plus I send some individual emails. Most places you can find cheap internet cafes (NOT hotel business centers!), although they are becoming rarer in more prosperous countries.

For after-dinner festivities if I am traveling solo I go to musical concerts. I usually find them posted on church notice boards or on any wall really. I really enjoy the music as well as the venue. Sometimes it is the only time a certain building is open to the public. Check posted bills for art talks and you could even take a night walking tour.

Also if you are staying in a small hotel, sometimes they have a little lobby where visitors meet for wine, etc.

I also write in my notebook like I am having a conversation on what I did or felt that day, if I linger after dinner in a restaurant. I find a resturant which is near my hotel or apartment to sit for an afterdinner drink.

<<this is the hardest part; not being able to share your daily experiences,reactions to what you're tasting, sharing a meal. I guess it just comes with the territory?>>

This thought proves the saying "everyone's different".

I live alone at home so I never have anyone to share daily experiences, talk about my reactions to a meal, whatever. So that is nothing I'd miss when I'm traveling.

Often times by evening I'm tired, and I am never real comfortable in extremely high-end restaurants anyways... sometimes I'll pick up take-away and a good bottle of wine and have dinner in my hotel room while watching TV (love this in a foreign language), read a book, or plan my next day's activities.

Or I find casual neighborhood bars, taverns, pubs, cafes to eat dinner. The kind of places with good food but little pretension, where a single person's welcomed as anyone else.

I rarely dine alone, but last week I did while traveling. I went for a late lunch and hit the local brewery/restaurant and opted for the outdoor seating. I found the smallest table under a tree and faced the street which was filled with people since this was a touristy area. I didn't bother to look at the menu, but just asked the waiter for what I was looking for. I had a tourist pamphlet with me so read through that during my meal, as well as people watched. I did text my DH though to let him know about the good beer I found and to rub it in;)

I felt totally at ease at this location by myself, but am glad I had something to do just in case I didn't feel comfortable.

At least for me when the question of "uncomfortable" comes up I picture myself under-dressed in a fancy Parisian restaurant where I reallly don't belong!

That 'nightmare' is easily avoided with exactly the kind of options, like mentioned above. Thanks mms (makes me want to sit in that same cafe!).

Here's a quick PS response from me:

Lollylo25:
You sound like my kind of traveller! I might not mind travelling with YOU! :) Thanks for the applause! :)

MsLizzy:
I find that the after-dinner issue can be dealt with in a variety of ways, depending on the time, place, or my feelings at the moment.

Since I have lived alone almost all of my adult life here in NYC, going out for an evening's entertainment when not on a date or in the company of a friend is nothing new to me.

I suggest you try one of 2 things:
either find something in the vacation location in a category which would interest you at home or try something new that your vacation location might be famous for.

If you like theater, get tickets to a show, if music, try a concert: use intermission to strike up a conversation with someone who looks interesting & might share your opinion! The same for a sporting event!

If you like to shop & your vacation locale is famous for keeping shops open till 10pm (like Spain, perhaps), go do that!
Or just enjoy a walk in the evening, when your location can take on a completely different feeling & look from the one it showed you during the day! :)

It was winter when I went to Buenos Aires, but I am a dancer, so I was out ALL night long dancing tango at the milongas in BsAs! (I admit that on this trip I was with some fellow dancers, but whose company I really didn't want too much of, & also had a few friends living there with whom I also went out on occasion; but once I'd gotten the lay of the land with respect to the customs of such dance parties, I went out alone: a few times I ran into people I'd met at tango lessons & elsewhere, and at other times I was asked to dance by people I didn't know at all.)

In Venice, where most things shut down by 9 or 10pm for "family time", which is honored there, even in the warm weather of September, I confess to having been somewhat envious of the romantic couples in Piazza San Marco, touristy but lovely & one of the few places open later. But I went to enjoy the outdoor orchestras anyway! And one night there some unexpected fireworks precipitated a conversation with a handsome 19 year old young man from Cremona, who charmed me with his company for over an hour & rewarded me with an armful of roses! :) The other nights I headed to my favorite local bar for company, which included regulars happy to say hello & folks just newly arrived. Sometimes I met someone in my day travels who invited me for a drink; once I wandered into an art gallery, struck up a conversation with the owner, who, upon hearing I was an artist, invited me to a gallery opening the next evening (which, unfortunately, a late vaporetto forced me to miss!).

In Amsterdam I also had friends from nearby who came to visit me & spent an evening or two, but here things also close down early, by NYC standards, so I enjoyed bar-hoppping the rest of the week.

Etc,etc.............

Most places have some specialty in theater, art, film, dance, etc (bull-fighting?) Find a place & try it!
If the weather is good, most places have plazas of some sort filled with buskers to entertain you.
Or have a drink or a dessert at some lovely outdoor cafe & just relax & people-watch.

Almost everything, including getting lost, will be an opportunity to strike up a conversation! Sometimes it lasts an evening, sometimes it is over in a sentence.

Of course, things are more difficult if you do not know the local language. I try to learn at least a few words of whatever it is & also do very well with mime! But, unless you are going somewhere very out of the way, or very small, you are bound to find someone, whether a native or a fellow tourist, who has a word or two of English!

And yes, sometimes nothing works & you just feel lonely.
But, since I run around a lot in my travels, I am often up early, so, if all else fails, getting to sleep early can sometimes lead to awakening at 5am, as I did one day in Venice, when I used the opportunity to get to San Marco at dawn & pride myself on an entire roll's-worth of film pictures of the Piazza without a single tourist in it!! :)

An occasionally quiet evening, completely alone?
Try to remember the fun of the night before!
And also:
Tomorrow is another day! :)

Dining alone is the hardest part of solo travel and it takes a while to get comfortable. I have eaten in some very fine places alone, got dressed up, had a reservation for a party of one! I don't enjoy eating at the bar or a small hidden table, or getting carry out...I want the same experience I would have if I was with someone!! I never take a book or journal, I wouldn't do that if I had a dining partner and to me that screams "I'm uncomfortable dining alone". I chat up the waiter, people watch and even daydream a bit. Most of all I smile, enjoy the food and RELAX!!!

In Sarasota, FL one Sat morning i went to a French cafe for breakfast alone. There was a line and I was near the front but they kept taking the people behind me who were 2 or more. When this kept happening and i was kept waiting, I left and did not go back ever again.

I will be going to Venice solo in December and will try to take some of the advice on this post. I am usually exhausted by evening and it doesnt' seem like much fun to get dressed up and go out to a nice dinner alone. I'm not a foodie, either so I'd just as soon grab something on the run. This is the only time I really wish i was traveling with a companion.

That's the beauty of not having a companion, if you *want* to just grab something on the run and go back to the hotel... you can!

I just found this conversation again! I love all the suggestions and confessions. A few of my own:

When I'm traveling solo I always take a notebook because I often write about my trips. Plus, I get a little antsy waiting for my food when there's no one to talk to.
It's true what someone said above; that staff wonder what you're writing and often think you're a restaurant reviewer. Especially if you ask specifics about the food. Service starts to get very attentive.

Once I went into a restaurant alone with a crossword puzzle I was eager to work on. I was so into it, I didn't really think at all about other people in the restaurant.

Once I went to a nearly empty white-linen type of place in the hotel I was staying at. The only other diners were two couples. I felt really weird. But I didn't want to get into my rented car and drive somewhere else to be alone. And I was hungry and HATE eating in my room.
So I bit the bullet. That night the waiters and busboys turned out to be incredibly nice. We chatted a LOT. Sometimes in Spanish (I like to practice my weak Spanish skills.) I even got a recipe for the caramelized onion salad the server cooked tableside.
When I left, I shook hands good-bye with my main waiter and busboy and they walked me to the restaurant door.

One travel writer told me she makes phone reservations for two and shows up alone, saying her "friend" got sick. That solves the problem of restaurants that won't take reservations for one!

I never, ever go out to eat at a nice restaurant in my home town. THAT makes me feel uncomfortable. But out of town? No biggie. After all, I don't know anyone. Why do I care what anyone around me thinks??

And finally, I think I'll put a link from boldlygosolo.com to this site. Maybe more people will join in the conversation with some of their own tips.

My advice to fellow singletons is not too make such a big deal about eating, unless you're visiting a city or region specifically for the restaurants. Then, yes, some companionship comes in handy.

Breakfast is mandatory for me so I always stay someplace where breakfast is available or just down the street. I'm happier not having to talk at breakast, as many of you are, too.

Lunch is just something I grab on the move. When I'm exploring a new place, the last thing I want to do is spend an hour or two eating lunch. Snacking in a coffee shop or a cafe is all I need.

Dinner is the big deal for most of us. Usually, I grab something where I happen to be. But, when I want to enjoy a specific restaurant, I go. I don't take a book or anything else. I order a drink at my table and watch the other patrons. Trust me, they spend about as much time thinking about you as you would spend thinking about them if they came alone to a restaurant where you live. If they don't recognize you, they'll forget about you in 15 seconds.

And if I'm given a crummy table, I complain and threaten to leave. And, yes, I've left restaurants who refused to reseat me.

I've also found that if you go solo to a place you enjoy, tip generously, and return another evening, you'll be remembered and treated well.

Finally, every city has many places to dine that are habitually frequented by solo local folks. They won't be the best restaurants in town, but if you're really fretting, look for them.

BTW, I came here from BoldlyGoSolo.typepad.com, mentioned just above, which is in my RSS reader and deserves to be in more.

Interesting comment about never ordering wine before dinner. Must be an English thing. (Many restaurants in California do not have license to sell anything but beer and wine). I'd say never say never. If the restaurant has a good range of wines by the glass that are paired with the food, it's not unusual to order whatever looks good to drink with the bread and spread. Something else may or may not be ordered with the other courses.

The only place I've ever been denied a seat was a 2-star neighborhood place in Paris. I went in during the day to ask about a reservation for dinner and I guess they didn't like the way I was dressed. But that was the exception.

Most of the time the waiters will chat with you, especially if you lay a guide book on the table and attempt to order in the local language (although often they are just as happy to practice their English).

I've never had an issue in the United States with solo dining. You may get offered the bad table in the back by the kitchen door, but that also happens with two-tops. They are just trying to find someone who will accept it without asking to be moved. Once we watched a hostess try four different couples before someone took the bad table.

Chowhound is a good place to post and ask for restaurant suggestions.

I want to express my thanks to everyone who has participated to make this such a great thread!

THANK YOU, suze

This thread has become great as good restaurants are the one which matters to the travelers.

Traveling is my hobby even and I have found a great restaurant guide - www.boorah.com, through which I am able to find best restaurants based on reviews and ratings.