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-   -   Dining alone (https://www.fodors.com/community/travel-tips-and-trip-ideas/dining-alone-398857/)

suze Jul 24th, 2008 02:06 PM

o2bnfrance~ What a beautiful story. Loved it! I can just picture you.

o2bnfrance Jul 24th, 2008 02:50 PM

Oh, and Suze, researching the menu and knowing what you want in advance also allows you to order wine before your dinner. Regardless, I agree with you, Suze. What’s the big deal?

Now, let’s move on to another important wine question: Why is it not okay to drink wine from the bottle?

awheatley Jul 24th, 2008 03:39 PM

Forget about "rules" - be confident, polite, express appreciation for the food (if it's good) and just enjoy. Dine at the time that suits you, order what you want to eat and drink and don't worry about anyone watching or critiquing you. Taking a newspaper or book is good for me, otherwise I end up being the one watching the others! I usually write in my journal while I'm waiting for the meal and write details of the food before the wine kicks in.
I was alone in Paris for 3 weeks over Xmas/New Year and had some wonderful dining experiences. The waiters were almost uniformly friendly and helpful; I was given complimentary drinks and invited out for after dinner coffee with a group of fellow diners. I even ended up asked to join the staff Xmas party for a very exclusive boutique hotel, when I was the sole diner at the restaurant where it was held.
I enter with confidence and assume if people are looking at me, it's because I'm interesting.
If you don't like the experience, don't tip - but don't go back there!
Enjoy.




Enjoy!

suze Jul 24th, 2008 03:49 PM

I always drink "house" white wine. Before and during the meal. Doesn't matter what I'm eating. So there's nothing I need to match up or wait for -lol!

SeaUrchin Jul 24th, 2008 04:26 PM

Thanks, o2bnfrance, glad you like what I wrote. I know if people watch someone it is either because they look really good or really bad, those in the middle are easy to ignore.

Hopefully, if people watch me, it is not because I have spinach on my teeth or toilet paper stuck to my shoe. At least that is what I tell myself and it makes for a better experience! I always figure it is better to be as exotic as one can in any social occasion, it makes things more interesting, but that is because it just works for me.


SeaUrchin Jul 24th, 2008 06:49 PM

I just read this from afterelton.com

Tim Gunn:

"What we choose to wear sends a message about how we want the world to perceive us. And I think the only way to do that successfully and to navigate the world comfortably is to be confident about what you're wearing and to feel that you look good. And I'm hoping that it's through interaction, engagement with other people that they'll understand other dimensions of you.

But if you look good – whatever that means, and it can be different for everybody – then you'll have carriage and bearing and the confidence to own the world in a manner of speaking."

And from me: and dine alone!

lvktravel Jul 25th, 2008 04:49 AM

What great suggestions and comments!
I will be traveling to Hawaii in April solo, for a few days before the rest of my family arrives.
I'm ok doing things on my own, but it was eating dinner by myself that had me nervous. Thanks to all of the suggestions I feel much more comfortable.
Suze thanks for starting.

panecott Jul 25th, 2008 01:51 PM

I never read a book or newspaper when dining alone. I love to people watch, and I find that a lot of people, even the waiters, will strike up a conversation with a lone diner. Once I'm seated I just enjoy the meal and my surroundings. I also don't hesitate to ask for a particular location, e.g., outdoors, or a different table if I don't like the one I'm led to.

But I will say that the worst part for me is entering a restaurant alone, especially an unfamiliar place.
A few years ago in Monterosso I was refused seating at a popular seaside restaurant. It was a casual place but I purposely went early b/c I realize that most places don't like to waste a table on one person during the busy hour.
The hostess - maybe she was the owner, I don't know - at first pretended not to notice me, and when I made her notice me, she pretended to be apologetic and said she had no tables available, which was obviously a lie. She then told me to come back at 8 or later, when she would be able to seat me.
I told her, in my very good and sarcastic Italian, that she was much too kind but not to bother holding a table for me because I would not be back at 8, or 9, or any other time.

Fortunately, that was the only time something like that ever happened. I only wish I'd noted the name of the place b/c I would have posted it all over the travel boards.

o2bnfrance Jul 25th, 2008 04:24 PM

Panecott, what a ratty way to treat a customer. Listen, with Google Maps’ help, I have identified nine locations in Italy with the name, Monterosso. But only Monterosso al Mare is located at a seaside. This is the Monterosso I will be boycotting in your honor.

Next time, try wearing dark glasses, and tell the hostess or maitre d' that you’d like a table where the paparazzi can’t find you. I betcha it works.

emilyjhon Jul 28th, 2008 04:08 AM

Hello all,

I am a newcomer. I found great tips and suggestions over here. Will be of great help for me as I travel a lot & I am foodie.


thursdaysd Jul 28th, 2008 05:51 AM

Panecott - I've had the same thing happen to me, but only one time. It was in Chisinau, Moldova, and they claimed an empty room was fully booked! And it's not a town overwhelmed with tourists, believe me! However, I think being a single often works to my advantage in Europe when I don't have a reservation - they'll find a corner for me when a bigger party might be turned away.

boots08 Jul 28th, 2008 12:23 PM

&gt;&gt;<i>I told her, in my very good and sarcastic Italian, that she was much too kind but not to bother holding a table for me because I would not be back at 8, or 9, or any other time.</i>

Panecott- ((Y))!

Kailani Jul 29th, 2008 04:59 PM

When I'm traveling alone, I'll often eat at the museum caf&eacute;, say, at the Louvre, or Mus&eacute;e D'Orsay.

I love museums, and I can spend hours there. Somehow I feel very comfortable dining alone, and the food is usually light and moderate. I feel safe and secure, and plenty of people are relaxing and writing postcards.

It is lovely to have a light salad, coffee and slice of torte in the afternoon. You don't need reservations, and they are usually not crowded at off hours.

o2bnfrance Jul 30th, 2008 03:01 PM

Hi, Kailani. I've eaten at the restaurant near the entrance to the Denon Wing many times and loved it. Quiet, clean, good food, friendly staff, and reasonable. I always make it one of my lunch stops. Also, there are usually other single diners there. It gives us an opportunity to study the museum floor plan and plan our exhibit visits for the day.

panecott Jul 31st, 2008 02:03 PM

o2bnfrance,
Yes, it was Monterosso al Mare, in 5Terre, which has become so popular I guess they feel they can be rude and still have enough business to keep going.
FTR, this place was way at the end of the new part of town, right on the water and had outdoor and indoor seating. Fortunately, other places were more hospitable.
Thanks for the boycott, and I like your other suggestions. I might just try them sometime. :-)

thursdaysd,
I don't know about you but I was mortified, and really amazed, when that happened to me. In so many years of travel, that was a first! But fortunately, I'm sure I didn't let it show and I let her know just what I thought of her &quot;hospitality&quot;.

boots08,
Thanks. :-)


thursdaysd Jul 31st, 2008 03:17 PM

panecott - yes, I was somewhat upset! Enough that I added a complaint about the restaurant to the feedback I wrote to Lonely Planet on the Romania + Moldova guidebook - not that they took any notice!

teach2travel Aug 1st, 2008 07:43 PM

Dining alone doesn't usually bother me. Think of it this way - when you dine with a group do you focus on single diners and pity them? Of course not, no one else does that when you dine alone.

I have an Amazon Kindle e-book. It always getrs attention from the waiter. I've had lots of lovely conversations about it - in fact sometimes more than I want. I think Jeff Bezos owes me some free books for the advertising I've done.

And Suze - as far as I'm concerned you can order wine any time you like. Heck have it with breakfast you're on a trip!

Kailani Aug 1st, 2008 09:00 PM

I will often grab a sandwich and fruit at a deli, and go to the beach, or a picnic area in a park, or a city square and eat while I watch people or whales.

Many towns have specialty fast foods, and when I'm by myself I might indulge in burritos, samosas or falafels more frequently than restaurant dining.

I am also more comfortable eating breakfast alone, so I'll enjoy a hearty omelet and eat light later in the day.

I'll pick up fruit and snacks to eat in my room, and catch up on reading and writing, and go to bed early to get an fresh start the next day.

I can often drop a few pounds when I travel by myself, versus eating out with my husband twice a day. I walk more, and I pretend I'm on a spa vacation.



ncounty Aug 2nd, 2008 02:18 PM

I get most attention when I travel and dine alone but it has always been the admiring kind. Perhaps it is because many are afraid to do this solo, they think it is a reflection of great strength and bravery? I also often take pictures of my meal when it arrives and didn't think about it till just now.....maybe some think I am a food critic or writer?

suze Aug 3rd, 2008 11:05 AM

Thanks to everyone for pitching in with great ideas. Both for comfortable solo restaurant experiences, and other alternatives.

I like the idea of museum cafes! I can picture that would be perfect for me.



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