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I went when I was 22. My brother in law went when he was 17. My sister went when she was 18.
My sister's trip was interesting in that her friend backed out a couple of weeks before the trip, so my sister asked my mom if she'd be interested in taking her friend's place. My mom decided to go, and they had a great time. My mom was an excellent sport about backpacking and staying in cheap hostels. I hope you have a great trip! |
I'm a planner who likes reservations and detailed itineraries. However, I have to say that the weeks I spent backpacking in Europe without either gave me some of the most enthralling experiences of my life. I remember watching the Eiffel Tower from the Trocodero terrace with scores of other backpackers wondering, "Will I ever feel as young and free as I do right now?" And the fact is, I never really have. There is something intoxicating about training to Geneva on a whim, or deciding to stay an extra day in Rome because you just didn't get enough of the museums. Certainly, you should have reservations for your first night there, and research and planning are always good ideas. However, (and I realize this may go against a lot of people's parental instincts) I wouldn't lock yourself to a rigid schedule. Give yourself some flexibility to enjoy things as you find them.
Get a cell phone and call your parents frequently. Let them know where you're staying and when you get there. Stay in safe areas, keep your wits about you, and don't do anything stupid or irresponsible. But don't have a middle-aged man's trip. Backpacking is a blast when you're young. Have fun! |
I think this is all hugely dependent on personality, not age. Some people consider living out of a backpack to be exhilarating in a positive way; other people find it to be precarious in a frightening way. Age doesn't matter. I know of some young people who decided to backpack in Europe (without any previous experience of living in this way) and instantly hated it, to the point that they called home and arranged for a "normal" trip with a decent hotel, real luggage, and so on.
All of this means that it might be a great idea for younger people who <i>already</i> have experienced this type of existence at home, as in camping, backpacking in their own country, and so on. But if they've never done anything like it at home, it might be risky to test it out for the first time abroad. Most people probably know themselves well enough to figure out if they'd like it or not, but some people do get carried away and expect something that is very different from the reality (meaning that they either backpack when they shouldn't, or they avoid it and miss out on something they might have liked). |
My niece wanted me to help talk her parents into letting her do this last summer after she graduated from high school. I told her no go, but after a couple of years of college, showing that she can manage on her own well, I'd not only help with the persuasion, I'd kick in some $$. She is not really mature enough (and the friend she wanted to go with definitely isn't!). I think it depends on the kid! I do think that being on your own away at school for a couple of years teaches you a lot of life skills, while still at least somewhat sheltered from the "real world"... let's face it, dorms are easier to manage than apartments, but you have to make smart choices about how you live without parental supervision.
I'm amazed at how many people think that parents don't have any say-so over their kids once they turn 18...does the child still live in the parent's house? If so, parents rules rule! At 40+, when I am at my parents home, their rules apply! (luckily, they never did have unreasonable rules, despite what I thought as a teenager!) If parents are supporting a child, they get to make the rules. When you are grown up enough to support yourself, then you have complete control over your own decisions. My advice would be to wait a year, save more $$, and make the trip a bit shorter. Create a love for travel now, and it will stick with you forever! Anne |
Definitely.
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I concur with welltravelledbrit who went to Namibia in 1986 aged 20 (correct me if I am wrong WTB). I went to Uganda aged 20 in 1972. I will always respect and love my parents for letting me go.
I couldn't cover the whole fare (which was 120GBP at the time - haha) but I had saved liked crazy to make their contribution as small as possible. There have been very few posts addressing this. Cos there are two aspects to this question - will your kids be safe (for sure); should they go - have they earned it (and do you think they should earn it?) They can do so either by contributing directly to the cost, or by demonstrating that it is not just a party trip. If they do neither - then why are you even considering it - regardless of how competent they might be? |
When I was 17, I spent 3 months traveling around Europe all by myself, armed with a Eurail pass. This was before cell phones and internet, but my parents trusted me and supported me and knew that it was one of the greatest adventures that I would ever have. Could something bad have happened? Of course -- just the same as if I had stayed home. Did I do anything I shouldn't? Of course -- just the same as if I had stayed home. But freedom is the most precious gift that a parent can ever offer their child. When I returned from that trip, I had been from Narvik, Norway to Casablanca, Morocco and from Lisbon to Berlin and I was never again the same person.
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I agree with the poster who commented on finding out if you actually like to backpack. I prefer suitcase with wheels and handle. And yes you will see many people pulling them through the streets of Europe even more so than backpacks these days. Having traveled all over Western Europe numerous times, I am now reduced to my favorite 22"(carry on size)Delsey Lite, very light, suitcase and then either my normal size backpack or small duffle bag. Thanks to the invention of packing cubes and space reduction bags you can actually get by with a small suitcase. You were seeking advise from experienced travelers, I laugh at the very large suitcase that is sitting in my attic from my very first trip to Europe. When I was in Nice this past December, I saw two 18ish boys from Australlia with huge backpacks on the bus. They looked so miserable, uncomfortable and tired. The one could barely manage the pack because it was so huge. My rule of thumb: Bring 1/2 the amount of clothes you think you will need and twice the amount of money in the form of an ATM card.
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"If parents are supporting a child, they get to make the rules. When you are grown up enough to support yourself, then you have complete control over your own decisions."
Very well said, Anne! Which sort of brings me to another factor involved in a trip like this. It doesn't seem to be a consideration for the OP. But, in response to those who have come down on we parents who would not allow our kids to do this... The cost of the trip itself has been discussed. But many kids, particularly those who are in college, or are about to start college, really couldn't afford to give up work for 4 to 8 weeks out of the summer. Our daughter has a work/study job at school. But that really doesn't give her much more than enough to go out for a pizza once in a while. She relies on what she can make during the summer to get her through the school year as far as clothing and other "bigger budget" items. My point here is that there is a lot more that goes into a parents decision on something like this than I think some of you realize. One other comment on the quote from Anne. There's a respect factor here too. I think that if we as parents care enough to make the sacrifices necessary to help with the cost of education, we're due the respect of being involved in major decisions. |
I know how you feel Katteaux, I have a daughter who is 19 and she went to Greece last year and is going to USA this year, and i was extremely worried when she was away last year, but she did fine, and it made her more independant, insist on an email or a phone call everyday, if it will keep your mind at rest.
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What AnnieO said, exactly. You said it much better than I did.
Where oh where are all of you finding 18 year olds that are self-supporting? I haven't seen more than 5 to 10 in about 10 years of working within this population, and I probably meet about 500 to 1000 new ones each year. The only ones I do know who are have been from Kenya or Mexico, and weren't USA citizens. And a dorm situation is entirely different than context of 2 on the road. And it isn't because I don't think it is an admireable thing to do eventually, or that it is so dangerous. It isn't only the age as much as the "entitlement" assumed that is the issue for me. Because I just don't see any one that age being self supporting and being able to pay their own way in reality. If they exist, fine. So you ARE paying for the trip, even if it in the regular insurances, home situation bills or whatever, that enables them to pay/save for their travel. If they were declared independent and self-supporting- it follows that an 18 year old has these kinds of absolute "choices". My parents and many, many I know do not put any age on restrictions if they are footing the bills for living. If you are under their house, you are under their rules. Period. Just as Annie0 said. And another thing. While they are trampsing around Europe and not doing any summer work, who is paying for the next year in college. OR anything that follows. They certainly aren't, are they. Most of the working class and even middle class people I know would say that their 18 year olds have no definitive choice, unless they are paying their way. |
It really is unfortunate how some parents never really <b>allow</b> their children to "grow up."
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First, lots can happen between now and 2007 when they graduate. Whether or not they save up enough cash is debatable, so this situation may resolve itself naturally.
Second, you know your kids best. Are they level-headed? Responsible? Reasonable? This will be a major factor. Third, you can rent a cell phone for them. Try http://www.piccellwireless.com I have rented a phone from them. They will deliver the phone to your home in the US and you contract with them for a specific time. This phone works throughout Europe, and has a speed-dial number for emergency. You can contact them whenever you like. Fourth: They will go if they are determined. This will be a great experience for them. It is NORMAL in Europe to take time off between high school and university to travel. There are TONS of young travellers here, and I believe that it is much safer in Europe than in the States. Finally: If you don't "let go", they will remember this forever! They will have to make it on their own some day. If they are responsible, plan wisely, give you an itinerary, and have a cell phone with them, they will be just fine. YOU, on the other hand, will be HANGING ON WITH YOUR FINGERNAILS!!! Just as you have been since they started walking to school alone when they were 6, and when they started going to the mall alone when they were 12, and when they started dating. There will be no easy time! Let them enjoy this experience. |
What is normal elsewhere is considered "dangerous" from US standards.
The gap year is a very normal occurance from European standards. What happened to Fergie when her money ran out in the SW USA? She and her friend got a job as waitresses. My BIL grew up "European" and backpacked solo across Europe during school breaks from age 14 up. My parents would have never allowed this - and I married to get out of their control. This forum is full of examples of overprotective and indulgant parents. Katteaux, I hope you have the opportunity to do this. I have NEVER heard of anyone that did it that regretted it and/or didn't think it was a very positive experience. |
Just seems to me that "growing up" has a lot to do with understanding the realities of paying the bills. What's more "grown up", knowing that you have to work during the summer to pay for the coming school year, or traipsing through Europe for 4 to 8 weeks?
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And what better way to appreciate exactly how much things cost than to have to earn money for a trip, then budget religiously OR ELSE YOU DON'T EAT!!! What a great way to see how much things cost!
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I see the ones who do this, and I do think it is a good learning experience overall, but believe me I know what those phones are for too. They don't go hungry- they call home for more $$$ 90% of the time. I can overhear the calls every day on my campus. They get bailed out, more times then they pull off the "independent" action. And these are just home trips, trips to the city, etc. etc.
And this isn't about ALLOWING or letting go in many, many cases- but is much more in the cultural and financial set of "family as a unit". Most of the cultures in the world, the children have great responsibility towards their parents and home family unit far, far beyond adulthood- more than the other way around. It's just this skewed view of their being "independent" that is really the joke. And the fact that now they have no real legal connection or obligations to the parent in return. Ask any Chinese, Mediterraen culture etc. when the "ALLOWING" ends. That's why we have so many elderly in Western modern civilization with six children, and not one can find room for them within their own life or home. Selfish and all about the kid, nothing about the family. |
I took a year out before and after university to see the world. As with everybody else who has done it, they were great experiences, that I'll never forget. Whereas the first 10 years or so of work, I don't remember much, maybe the odd office party ;)
Finance is obviously an issue but I was extremely lucky to come from a country where education, including university, was free for all, therefore I didn't suffer from being held a financial hostage before, during or after I'd finished my education. (The pressure on some kids not to fail must be enormous given some of the comments here). For the kids that have saved up hard, I say just do it and for those parents who can afford to help out, it'll be the best 'investment' you'll make based on all the positive comments from people who have done it. Geordie |
I am not a parent yet but would say 100% yes.
My best friend and I backpacked for 7 weeks in the summer of '98 after our college graduation so we were 22/23 at the time and it was a life changing experience. I am jealous....they will have the time of their lives. If they are smart and mature they will use great judgement. |
I apologize to anyone who may have been offended by my last post. It was an emotional reaction to other posts. I certainly didn't mean to imply that backpacking through Europe is the antithesis of "grown up".
However, I stand by my point that, for finanacial reasons, a trip like this is sometimes just not an option. Despite all the benefits (and, of course, I realize there are many), for my children, I feel college is more important. And, nospam, with all due respect, your response really has little to do with paying for college. If you wanna talk about financing a trip like that *after* college, that's a whole different thing. But the kids in the orginal post are 17 and 18. And, while backpacking across Europe may be a rite of passage for some, the fact that a child has not been allowed to do so does not mean that the parents have not allowed that child to grow up! There have been an awful lot of statements on this thread to the effect that any parent who wouldn't allow a child to do this is overprotective and stifling their child. Talk about vast oversimplification! There's a hell of a lot more involved in raising a child than deciding whether or not they backpack through Europe! And, as far as I'm concerned, it's no litmus test either. |
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