Want boyfriend to love Paris as I do! (Kind of long)
 

After years of enduring my expounding on the wonders of France/Paris my boyfriend can finally take 10 days of vacation and wants us to go there. I want him to love it as I do. Problem: while he's interested in history and culture, I just know that there is a chance he'll get tired of an endless rounds of churches, museums, etc. I want this 10 days to be romantic (of course :))) but interesting and fun in a light-hearted way (he's not a demonstrative romantic). Although he'll want to play big spender I know he would really love it if everything could be done on the cheap so I'd appreciate your suggestions for romantic, fun, affordable, "cultural" accomodation, dining, sites, etc. If there are any men who can possibly identify with my boyfriend and have made the trip successfully I'd love to hear what you liked, disliked, what moved you to propose (hee hee) etc. I know it's a kind of tall order but I'd really appreciate your advice.

Thanks!

You need to tell us as much about him as possible. What does he normally like to read/watch as a film/do as a sport/spend his free time? You want him to discover the French version of himself/yourselves.

The comment about 'endless round of museums' sounds like you need to mix in some purely fun stuff. Do a search for the experiences of others with Paris Segway Tours featuring the latest people-mover scooter. Not particularly cheap, but a great time, according to those users.

Then there's Disneyland Paris - yeah, I know, but who's to say he wouldn't enjoy comparing and contrasting the European version with its North American partner.

Or get out of Paris for a day or so and bike in some quiet village. Too slow? Maybe rent a sports car for a day and do something similar.

Cheap but fun - flying a kite.

Not sure where you'd find it, but a place to try petanque - French version of lawn bowling.

If he's a Doors/Jim Morrison (or an Isadora Duncan) fan, a visit to the Pere Lachaise cemetery (interesting place in and of itself - and a cheap excursion.)

Good luck.

Pétanque (boules) in Paris? At the Luxembourg Gardens, the arena, and around Les Halles. There's a big tournament during the summer, sometimes in the Tuileries Gardens.

Do a text search for: 100 Great things to do in paris.

That is a wonderful thread that has many fun and romantic things to do. Many of them cost little or nothing at all.

Sue_xx_yy:
Where to begin....he's the kind of guys' guy who could easily be mistaken for a dumb jock, until the topic switches to history or economics and he can rant with the best of them. He'll turn his nose up at the idea of being your typical tourist, but would spend hours researching the stories behind various attractions and could easily substitute for a tour guide as he has an incredible memory. He hasn't travelled much and was utterly unimpressed with the idea of visiting Europe (except for their football/soccer) until he visited me in Spain when I was studying in Granada a year ago. Now he's passing up going to Championsworld football/soccer games here in the US to visit Europe with me this summer(I am duly honoured). He's not really a reader, unless he can clearly see practical applications in reality but watches almost any kind of movie ever made - except musicals (I torment him with My Fair Lady!) How on earth do you ensure that such a mass of contradictions enjoys Paris? Disneyland is out of the question-neither of us has visited the American one, nor do we want to. And petanque would not be appealing...not exactly a sport in his eyes. We'll most likely walk or take the metro/buses as neither of us wants to drive anywhere. As for discovering our French selves, I teach college French so I found mine a long time ago. He took 3 years of it in college and is actually quite good when he tries but would like me to believe that he's too 'gruff' to make a real go of it. Testosterone! Did this help or did I just bore/sicken the &%!@ out of you with my obvious adulation? Thanks for your help anyway!

Paris really does sell itself. It's the je ne sais quoi, whole ambiance thing that appeals to most. Now wouldn't it be funny if you turn out to be the "girlfriend" in another thread where some mother is asking for the most romantic spot for her son to propose?!

If you know he hates museum stuff, then I just wouldn't take him to one every morning and every afternoon! But I hardly find the Louvre, Orsay, Cluny et al to be your run-of-the-mill idea of a museum either.

With 10 days you could take a little side trip somewhere--less expensive than Paris and would give him a different side of things.

klondike:
Now why would you toy with a gal's emotions like that? And whose mother does their research for them anyway? I agree that the Louvre rates a visit regardless of your interests (will decide later on the others) and after reading the post on 100 great things to do in Paris I am now near tears with nostalgia (thanks a MILLION CafeBatavia - no really!!) and have decided to attempt to do everything on the list! Some I've done before without him but the majority will be wonderful experiences to share (with and without kissing!). He's not too big on schedules anyway so maybe an unstructured trip will be just the thing. Add a quick run up to the Stade de France (he'll get a kick out of that) and I think we'll have more than enough to do. Now I'll just do some hunting around for decent accomodations...and we're off! Thanks again. :)

barfit,
I think we might be dating brothers. I hope you post how it goes.

I made a misstake. My boyfriends first Europe vacation was London. Not quite different enough to entice him, but I really want to take him to Paris.

Do you have dates for this trip? That might help.

I actually proposed one evening on Tower Bridge in London, but a while later we were in Paris, walking along the Seine at sunset and I would have done it there if I had not already.

If he is into history, you are there long enough to do a trip outside of Paris . . think about Normandy and the D-Day sites. Versallies is a day trip that offers a lot of historical interest. The Eiffel Tower is a guy thing as is the Crazy Horse Saloon. . albiet for different reasons!

Best of luck . . Rich

Hmmn, I would have tried petanque had I but had the time the last trip out, more for the fun of meeting the people who play and the chance to converse with them than for the game itself.

My husband grew up in Montreal - a long time ago now, and I still discover new things about him. But then again, he takes himself pretty lightly, which probably explains it.

Thanks for the good wishes Rich. Tower Bridge huh? I must say, the Seine at sunset would be hard to beat but as long as you got your answer :) I hope I didn't give the impression that I'm trying to set the poor man up to propose (I ain't nowhere near ready), we've just been dating for 8 years and haven't done something completely new and fun in a long time so where better to spice it up than Paris! I figured the ideal time would have been mid to late May but he's a banker and can't run away until late July/August (yuck). And since flights are beyond ridiculously expensive just from preliminary investigations, I might have to go with a flight/hotel package deal and take whatever dates we get around then.
CarolA, I've been planning our Paris getaway in my head for so long you'd think I would have had it all worked out but I didn't think we'd ever actually get around to it. Make the time as soon as you can. Maybe we should meet there just to make sure it's two different guys! (okay, so that's not really funny). Anyway, if this really does happen I'll definitely post the details.

I dont't know what your boyfriend would love about Paris-but one thing I have learned,(it might be too late for you though) is that over-talking a place, building it up so much, will often times give the person too great an expectation and they end up being disappointed.
So my advice would be to stop talking about how wonderful it is and get him to reading and planning with you, let him choose things that he would like to do.
The Yankee and I have spent so many days and weeks in Paris-wandering aimlessly along the streets, you don't have to be in churches every day or museums, the city itself is enough.

How lovely if at this moment, he is thinking about where and how to propose to you once you two get to Paris :)

1)I would consider an apartment - it forces more interaction with others and lends itself to a more "authentic" experience as opposed to being pampered by a fully English speaking staff at a fancy hotel. After a week, you BF will be on a 1st name basis w/ the beerman/wineguy/cheeseman/breadman/coffeeman/fruitman, etc.
2) go out to a SMALL club(s) at night and enjoy whatever kind of music appeals to him the most. The Marias is a great area for this. Get a copy Timeout Paris at your local book store for ideas.
3) dining suggestion: LE CAMELEON In Montparnasse, a charming bistrot rated as one of the top 20 casual restaurants in the world. Dinner for the 2 of you with app./entre/dessert/water/wine/coffee/etc. will be less that $75 total. Only about 8 tables, so reserve. A fun, laid back, relaxing, wonderful place with the BEST food.
LE CAMELEON - 6 rue de Chevreuse - 6ème arrdt. - Métro : Vavin - Tel : + 33 (0)1 43 20 63 43

Hi brafit,

>maybe an unstructured trip will be just the thing.<

Not totally unstructured. In 10 days you can see the best of all of the districts plus visit Versailles or Giverny or Chartres.

Look up "degas AND walks" for some thoughts on walking tours.

The Hotel Bonaparte is a nice, well located 2* for about 115E/nite including breakfast.

Hi brafit,

Maybe he would enjoy the Musee de l'Armee in the Invalides. My husband, also interested in history, loved it. Actually, I did, too!

The displays of uniforms and weapons, etc. are amazing, and range from medieval times through WWs I and II. I know that sounds dull dull dull, but it really wasn't to us..

There are lots of scenes set us, such as Napoleon's camp during some battle, and complete with his horse, stuffed. That sounds crazy, but that's what I remember!

Napoleon is entombed there, too (in the Invalides complex, not the museum).

I'll bet he would enjoy going there!

Byrd

I too had raved and raved about Paris before our trip and was worried because my boyfriend did not seem the least bit excited...he said he didn't know what to expect, so he couldn't get excited about it. He ended up loving Paris and France! He is not at all a museum-goer: he is a techy and football fan and didn't speak a word of French. He really enjoyed taking charge of finding our way around, using the metro and the map. He loved going up to the top of the towers of Notre Dame, the catacombs, the Tour Eiffel, and the boat ride on the Seine. He also loved all the historic ruins and chateaux. He did end up loving the Louvre, much to my surprise. He went crazy taking pictures of everything he liked. And he did end up proposing :), although it was in the south of France, not in Paris. And now HE talks about "when we go back to Paris", so I consider the trip a complete success! Have a great trip!

As a Francophile, and a guy, I understand your reservations. French bashing is a favorite sport in the USA right now...and it is primarily a macho thing. For sure, take him to the Normandy beaches and the war memorials. Avoid the frilly restaurants with postage-stamp size tables. There are a number of steak houses in Paris; try the Relais de L'Entrecote spots. If he pines for a good hamburger, try Cafe Castiglione on St. Honore. Be flexible and give him options. Good luck! JP

A couple of ideas.

Saving money; go to some of the best restaurants at lunch time,instead of dinner.

Or, have picnic lunches, by visiting some grocery stores and heading for a park when you get hungry. You can buy gourmet quality takeout, and have the enjoyment of a park, forthe same price as mid-level restaurant food.

Day planning; Head to some interesting place on the Metro, and then walk back to the hotel all day long.

Movie planning: if you rent a few movies about paris, it gives you a focus of what to go look at that is pop-cultural, in addition to being perhaps Capital C Culture. American in paris and that Kevin Kline / Meg Ryan movie, and lots in between.

Does he have little kids as friends? Have him find a few souvenirs that meet the interests of American children. That will give him focus, while still allowing lots of flexibility, and forcehim pleasantly to look at tthings from a different set of eyes.

BAK

Hi,
A couple of suggestions. COnsider doing some guided tours. I did a couple of Parsi Walks' and found them to be entertaining and interesting...sometimes it's nice to have someone lead you around instead of following a guide book.
There are tours of the sewers ("egouts") and the Catacombs. A guy kind of thing. I think that anyone would also enjoy St Chapelle's stained glass windows. The Arenes de Lutece is a roman arena located on the Left Bank and is a neat place to go for a picnic.
Mixing in wandering with a museum would help minimize the chances of "museum overload". The Orsay Museum is interesting just for its building.

Perhaps a day trip to the Loire to see a chateau or two?

I have also read about Friday night organized rollerblading through the streets of Paris. And I have watched people playing petanques and pick-up soccer in the parks on the Seine side of Invalides.

And of course, wandering along the banks (up top) and bridges of the Seine or a bateau mouche at night is not too hard to take.

Enjoy,
Mike

This sounds a bit like my husband. His first experience with France/Paris (ok, they really only went to Paris) was a trip with some buddies they took when they were all in grad school (one was fluent in German, otherwise, no foreign languages). He had most of the negative stereotypes of the French in his mind and had memories of crowds and being confused.

I had one trip to France and Paris with my mom under my belt. It was a delightful trip, the people were friendly, we had a great time.

Our first trip together was 10 days or so in Paris and the Loire Valley. He loved it! We've made several trips back since then. What was the difference? I think mostly a little more organization in terms of we knew some things we wanted to see (medium structure - we develop a shorter must-see list and longer list of other possibilities, then decide each day what we wanted to do). And, for him, the fact that I could speak some French, so the communications were easier.

You don't want to inundate your boyfriend with information (unless he'd want to be), but if he's interested in history, etc., then hand him maybe one or two high-quality guidebooks (maybe the Michelin green guide for Paris, except I think the book is organized in such a bizarre way). He can flip through it and read whatever interests him. I'd suggest other books about Paris or Paris history, but if he's not a reader, they probably wouldn't interest him.

I haven't taken any guide-led walking tours, but have really enjoyed tours from the book "ParisWalks." There's history and other interesting facts, along with routes in areas of Paris that you might not otherwise get to.

Have a great time!

Keep seeing this thread and getting as far as "Want boyfriend" in the title and thinking, yes, well, you are not alone there! :D

Hope you two have a wonderful time.

I suppose it's relevant to wonder whether people who are so different can find a middle ground. Good luck on your trip, and if I were you, I'd set zero goals. Just let it unfold, and evaluate afterward. Let him breathe, and take your own free moments to go and do a few things you enjoy. You are not joined at the hip, so each of you have some freedom and free time alone. And then have dinner and champagne, recount the day, and you pay for some of the expensive stuff, and don't make money and cost a big thing. Good luck.

I second the Military (Les Invalides) Museum. Not my sort of thing usually, but I was just fascinated and have gone back several times. You don't say when you are going, but (at least they used to) summer time in the courtyard they present a wonderful sound and light show in English that is very impressive and entertaining.

So many great suggestions. I'm not worried about us being unable to mesh our interests or about over-talking it. He is like QueenMab's guy. Right now he just indulges me, thinks it's cute that I'm excited. He'll probably just go with the flow really and all my stressing will be for nothing. I've just wanted this trip to happen for so long that I don't want to ruin it by making it boring. (Paris? Boring? Unheard of!!) He'll love anything related to war, not that he's violent but you know...testosterone...Pick up soccer in the park oohh! He'll love that. Sewers and Catacombs, perfect! I'll enjoy whatever we do because I've done the mad tourist rush a couple of times so just chilling is fine with me. Maybe I'll just slap a guidebook in his hands and let him run the show because if he likes it he'll want to go back! And SoBeTraveller I'm not letting him out of my sight so he'll have to deal with it. We're apart enough as it is (5 years long distance).

Thanks much you all!

Yes, brafit, stay stuck to his side and enjoy every minute together!!
The Yankee and I have been married umpteen years and still go everywhere together, we are our favorite travel companions!
When you love the person you travel with, you see things in an even better light~
Enjoy!

You guys have been wonderful with your advice and suggestions. Unfortunately, I just ran some preliminary figures by the man and it's a no go. I guess we'll be going to those Championsworld soccer games after all...what do you suppose are the odds of a proposal in Giants Stadium? (trying not to get hysterical).:(

Sorry it came down to a money issue, and that you won't be going, but if you like soccer, enjoy his choice.

Speaking of sticking, I'll stick with my observations. Perhaps we really ought to transfrom this discussion into relational issues, and everyone can emote, :>.

LOL, but love isn't glue for all of us ... and for some it does involve fresh air, give and take, and at times some space. Have you considered a trip with friends? There are varying degrees of independence, and whatever works is obviously the best fit.

Interesting discussion, and have a good day.

LOL, SoBe, since the lady would like a special place to be proposed to, I think that lets out the trip with the girlfriends.
You are right. Love isn't glue - but when one is in love, the tendency is to want to be together. So when and where do we all meet for our weekly Relationship Discussions :)

if he's into cars - check out a trip to LeMans - you can tour the car museum, take a test drive and see how they are setting up for the race in late May.

Scarlett, see the lady's first post, and her desire to see Paris. I'm at a loss for what to say about her situation ... except, to one I loved who loved a place and craved to see it, I'd never say no! Here it apparently turned on money ... what can one say!

Personally, I'm a firm believer in being sure you want what you wish for ... she may get that proposal.

I think you're on safe ground advising that people in love wish to be together. Sounds like with your experience, you'd be a good host for the Relational seminiar! And I'll bring the love potion #9.

..involve him in the planning..although you can be his "guide" to some of your favorite haunts be sure you leave enough strolling time and visits to places you have never been to allow him the awe of new discovery...if he doesnt like paris, you can plan seperate as well as joint vacations in the future..that or find a new boyfriend..perhaps a parisien???

>if he doesnt like paris, [SNIP] find a new boyfriend..perhaps a parisien???<

Now this sounds like a plan travelbunny!!! Nah, I'm just pi$$ed. Now he's saying he can get away mid-June if I can keep in under $1000 each. And he's the type who really want no part of the planning. So now I'm scouring francevacations.net etc for deals. I might just ditch him and take my girlfiend instead as a graduation gift!

Back to the wonderful worldwide web....now I KNOW I don't want any damn proposal.....(grumble, grumble...)

Well, as I have no advice for brafit,( Paris-yes, Ballgames,-no) maybe I will be an attendee but not give advice to any Relationship conferences :)

... a 101 level course is envisioned. Those with PhDs in luv ... well.

It peeves me to be given a monetary constraint by someone who has no clue what the expenses are, ie. a June flight will normally run $700 - that leaves $300 for 1/2 hotel, meals, sights, transport, etc. for 7-10 days. I can plan a nice Paris visit for us for maybe $2500 for6 nights, and we stay in 2**/cheap 3** hotels, don't each gourmet, etc. IMO, He's setting you up for big waste of time. (Unless he will spend $1000 and you can make up anything over that).

Sounds like your boyfriend is married.
You need to get a life.

Wow, this is quite a situation. Several thoughts come to mind:

1. Unless you stay at hostels and are fasting, can't see how you can make it on $1000, flight included. As I look back on my dark days when I might have made such a ludicrous decision rule (I'm a new millenium guy, now!), I'd have to say its because I didn't want to go. So, one suggestion is to decide for yourself if you want it bad enough to go it alone. Doesn't sound to me that he's working to help you make this fun.

2. I'm sensing that you are making the outcome of his liking Paris YOUR problem. Take it from a 50-something year old, this NEVER works. You can do all you can to make it enjoyable for him, but in the end, it's his choice. Getting frazzled in advanced and pissed during is not going to help matters--nor will it result in YOU enjoying what should be a great time. So, if Mr. Right isn't going to see things like you, I hope you can let it go and enjoy it for no other sake than your own.

Tell you the truth, this doesn't strike me as a situation with a high likelihood of "win-win". Reminds me of the time I insisted that my wife would ENJOY a hockey game in Chicago (on our anniversary and instead of the ballet, no less). I ended up ticked that she hated it (go figure) and she threatened to walk home. We still get the stomach churn when reminded of that. Luckily, again, I'm a new millenium person who would no longer consider that. But I digress: my point is, either don't force an unwilling accomplice to join you, or do your best to psyche yourself mentally to enjoy a fabulous trip even if he won't.

One last thing--and this is petty so forgive me. No offense intended, but I gotta ask: How/why would you use the screen name you have? Even "FoundationFit" would be better. I know: It's none of my d**n business.

Dump him and go out with me :)

Well, now I'm feeling pretty good about the fact that I don't have a boyfriend.... ;)

Am very much looking forward to my (4th) solo trip to Italy next month. Would certainly not give it up for any man.

It seems to me you are attacking this in completely the wrong way... :)
Somewhere you mentioned that the alternative to the Paris trip is Championsworld soccer in the US, I'm 100% sure you could find some very good soccer matches in Paris or the surrounding area in the time you are in France (they did win the championship in 98, so they know their football). Try to pull in his interest with this as well as the historical setting.

But as a second comment this might be a cultural thing, but I'm going to the USA this summer with my girlfriend and we both expect to split the cost in half, anything else would be just wierd. Especially since we earn about the same. If he wants to spit in $2000 that should easily cover the flight and most food, and you can then pay for the hotel and assorted other stuff or ? I'm just curious since that is sure the way we would deal with the money issue.

Cobos