Treacle Down Effect
 

Anyone can write a trip report while en route or upon their return, this trip report starts before I leave. Do not expect practical advice or an accountant's account of every left-sided entry or the times of awakening. This will be what I remember and what I want you to know.

It is called the Treacle Down Effect, for many reasons not the least of which is whether the haute cuisine of the Gordon Ramsay and the like have had changed the menus nationwide or have just allowed people to say "Uh?" for a living after the curse at them. The other reason is why has the Pound, the money of a country that has slipped back into a recession, continue to increase against the dollar. In the US the Treacle Down effect is a discredited economic theory but one that seems to have currency in the UK.

We will be staying two days in London, because we have been there many times before. Then on to York to stay with friends, followed by 4 or 5 days in Edinburgh, I forget the exact amount with a grand finale in Dublin.

I am not sure when I will able to send reports from the front, but I will look for wifi (or wee-fee as they say in Spain) whenever possible to keep the two people glued their keyboards, due to the residue of previous snacks that fill the cracks between the letters, informed about my whereabouts.

Until then find something else to do.

Geez Adu, I think you've already eaten the treacle! Have a great trip.

“We will be staying two days in London, because we have been there many times before.”

Adu, so where do you stay in London? And will you revisit old haunts or check out something new?

Have a great trip…

We are staying at a new place for us called the Stylohotel near Regent's Park. And we are going to the British Museum becasue we have not been there in 30 years, the Tate Modern becasue we have never been, and Mrs. Adu wants to ride the Eye.

The old treacle should have worn off by now.

While riding the Underground we saw passengers reading the Evening Standard, a London tabloid, whose back page screamed, “What’s the best milk after Kate’s?” It was an ad for “follow on milk” and one can only assume that copywriter used hyperbole rather than personal experience. At least it was complimentary and confirmed that there must be a Royal groinacologist, as Archie Bunker would say, and probably a Royal Proctologist. But we all know royal proctologists.

After arriving in London, we made our way to the Tate Modern. It is quirky and proud of it. There was a few rooms dedicated to works that reflect dreams but there is nothing in the entire gallery I was tempted to steal, even though there were brand names such as Picasso, Matisse, and a few of the Dadaists. Often I want to steal the lesser knowns but not today. Installations were found everywhere. I find most installations befuddling as to why an artist would make those choices and why a museum or gallery accepts those choices. The gallery was filled school children, including many that spoke French. There was a Damien Hirst exhibit that required a13 GBP admission fee. I know he is or was a favorite Wall Street sharks before the Recession.

Mrs. Adu reserved a ticket for the London Eye at 8:30 PM. I am acrophobic, which means I would not go up in a ferris wheel where the pods are glass and you can see the Thames between your legs. We arrived early intentionally and for whatever reasons there was no wait. She loved the view of the City from on high. But as soon as she alighted from the ride, the lights that adorned the river bank became alive. Big Ben looked spectacular with its oversized black and white watch face against the dirty brown façade of Parliament and shone above the tint of green lights which provide highlights.

She had another view of “The Shard” the tallest building in Western Europe, according to those who decide such things. It is a glass structure with a jagged summit, hence the name. Coincidently we saw a documentary when we returned to the room on BEEB 7 ½. The upper floors will be apartments that will cost in the tens of millions for which the architects and engineers specially designed the floors so that the asses of wealth would not fell the slightest sway from the wind.

Today started the day at the British Museum. I love the smell of the spoils of war in the morning.. The entrance of the building is designed to impress and intimidate like a great cathedral. A few grand antiquities stand before you under a sunlit dome. The Rosetta Stone attracted everyone with a cellphone camera. It is a remarkable relic in what it stands for and what it is; a rather small rock that some how knew it would be a mirror to the past that would eminent courage for future thought.

We did see the Elgin Marbles, elegant and eroded with the heads of many of the figured missing but found scattered through Europe in other museums. And before we left we saw Lindow Man. He was found in a bog with a dent in his head made from an axe, pollen in his stomach, while the body freeze dried so it could be displayed. Until that moment he was about 2,000 years old. A little Folger’s in your cup. We spent three hours there and saw just a small portion of the collection.

We then visited the British Library. The building itself is light and airy with a large and welcoming plaza. It was odd that the woman at the information desk was unfamiliar with Lewis Carroll and Laurence Sterne. The Treasuries Room holds a number of extraordinary and evocative books, documents, and musical scores. Besides the Maga Carta, there is a original volume of O Rare Ben Jonsson, many Qu’rans, a Jainist manuscript, and the handwritten lyrics of Yesterday. Besides a Gutenberg Bible, there was also a printed document of indulgences with a space for your name.

Sadly the first two days of Treacle Down Effect have been an abysmal failure. It is combination of us choosing the wrong restaurants and the food at the restaurants we chose being awful. We stopped at one place for fish and chips. They were they fresh out. I was not sure whether they were out of the fish or the chips but Mrs. Adu had fish soup which fortunately needed a spoon rather than a pole and was filled with cheese. I ordered a leek tartlet. A small woman with a great deal of make-up and little clothing would have been better. The very thin, dry circle has all the charm of a rice cake and to make it appear modern, the little tart was placed atop a zig-zag of tart sauce and covered with some packaged grass. I know it was packaged because I saw her carry the packages across the fining area.

But the worst meal was at the Aberdeen Steak House. I am sure Londoners are shaking their collective heads in disbelief and if were present would be waving their arms wildly to go elsewhere. But whenever we passed, it was crowded and not cheap. The waiter no matter what anyone said would reply, “Wonderful, enjoy your meal.”
“Your mother is a crack ho and your father is a pedophile in a loony bin.”
“Wonderful, enjoy your meal.”

We ordered steaks that were once part of a cow that was fattened in the Orkneys. They were little thing pieces of beef that had some taste. The onion rings and the spinach sides that were extra were not bad. The check included a cover charge. There was no entertainment, except the fact the waiters were amused people were actually eating this high priced stuff. When I asked for an explanation, I was told it was to keep prices competitive with their imaginary competition. This implausible answer must have come directly corporate BS department, which must be fully manned. When asked if the menu contained such a warning, he showed it did appear twice in maybe six point type at the bottom of the pages. They took off the cover charge and so did we with the warning, DO NOT EAT AT THE ABERDEEN STEAL HOUSE.

Our hotel is the Stylohotel on Sussex Gardens. It is the usual claustrophobic London hotel room for a lot of money. How small? The TV could only hold two stations. How small? There is was only enough room for cold water. There was, of course, hot water and the staff was young, cordial, and helpful. One of the staff was a chunky fellow wearing a wife beater revealing plenty of ink. There is steel everywhere-the doors, the walls, the breakfast chairs with spikes at the top, the nightstand. The only thing that was not steel were the heavy sheets that covered the carpeting in the halls and left overnight to protect the rugs against the some work that was being done. The hotel was full with many Germans and other pale Europeans who fortunately were fully clothed.

The Express to Heathrow was 19 GBP per person. A value if you are by yourself, but expensive for more. In the past we just took the underground, which is considerably cheaper.

Take the buses whenever possible. You can get a view of city as the bus drivers navigate the traffic, as they seemingly crush bike riders, knock over pedestrians, and take off the doors of trucks.

We left from JFK and could see from the roadway, the Space Shuttle still sitting atop a 747, partially hidden in a hangar.

Tomorrow we leave to visit friends in York. This weekend is a Bank Holiday, this in the US is otherwise known as a bailout. We come bearing two gifts. One is oblong dish decorated with various NYC bridges, the other is maple syrup. The posters on Fodor’s helped us chose this, as they noted it was available in the UK, but it is expensive, making us appear ad generous.

To paraphrase a well known note, I would have written a shorter a pithier entry, if I had the time. I will not know when I will write next. We will be at the tender mercy of our kind friends for the next four days. I also apologize for any grammatical mistake.

"<i>But the worst meal was at the Aberdeen Steak House.</i>"

<B><red>OMG!!!!</B></red> You didn't????

(Even 30 years ago when you last visited, they were crap . . . .)

Our hotel is the Stylohotel on Sussex Gardens. It is the usual claustrophobic London hotel room for a lot of money. How small? The TV could only hold two stations. How small? There is was only enough room for cold water. There was, of course, hot water and the staff was young, cordial, and helpful. One of the staff was a chunky fellow wearing a wife beater revealing plenty of ink>>

what, pray, is a wife-beater?

what has the size of the telly got to do with the no of stations you could get?

what has the size of the room got to do with whether you could get hot water?

are you related to Joseph?

BTW, it's a shame you didn't find an Argentinian steak house. We ate at one in Delft , and it was excellent. and they didn't mention the Falklands. not once!

hope york was fun!

I've always wondered who ate in those. Now I know.

>>what, pray, is a wife-beater? <<

Miss, miss, I know this one, miss....

It's what we would know as a vest (as distinct from a T-shirt). Men who wear one as outerwear are popularly thought to be not the most affectionate of husbands.

annhig: A wife beater is a sleeveless vest mostly worn by cretins. http://www.blogcadre.com/images/stel...10_29_14_29_28

Patrick beat me to it (BTW - they don't usually have writing on them . . .)

Bookmarking to have a laugh in the morning, though it hurts me to say, as a curmudgeon myself, that another curmudgeon is funnier.

I was enjoying your TR before you left, and am enjoying it even more now that you are there, 'asses of wealth' and all, lol ! (If that was a typo on your part, it was a clever one :) )

Looking forward to what surprises York holds for you and the Mrs. (or Missus).

M

aha - it's a vest. pure and simple. well, simple anyway.

any answers for my other queries?

Adu we did try to get you bring ice-wine but you wanted to bring the dried out sap of some old tree. Keep warm it's 8C during the day and going to 2C tonight in Yorkshire.

A different style of trip report ;) - and I'm very much enjoying it. Hope you're having lots of fun with your friends.

I'll be sure to skip Aberdeen Steak House. Thanks.

The London Eye sounds very nice. I can't wait to "ride" it

Thank you for your kind comments.

We are in that part of the world where those James Herriot books were written like Up The Cow's Uterus.

Details to follow.

Annhig, in answer to your other two questions, I think Adu was being funny with hyberbole or metaphor or some such figure of speech.

Adu, I am enjoying your report, please continue whenever possible!

irish - I think I got that. i was being ironic too!

>>>We are in that part of the world where those James Herriot books were written like Up The Cow's Uterus.
Details to follow.<<<

Photos not necessary! ;^)

"..We are in that part of the world where those James Herriot books were written like Up The Cow's Uterus. "

lol ! Put your hand up a cow's bum and everyone's a vet !

I am not on the UK forum very often but since we will be ther on Monday am reading up. Your comment about taking the bus made me smile. We loved the bus in Paris for that same reason. They have to have nerves of steel.
As for the wife beaters, we actually see people board planes with those on. YUK, who wants to sit next to someone with their hairy armpits showing. We get this one guy that is so hairy and wears one everytime he flys from my airport. Men with tats love to wear them to show off the artwork. It is like a very thin low cut tank top.

Did you not check out the olympic venues?

Adu, thanks for the update. Particularly enjoyed your description of the British Museum (you lasted longer there that I did . Missed the British Museum but hope to visit someday.

Enjoy York. Will you be visiting any stately homes in the area?

Very fun report Adu! Hope you and the Mrs. have better culinary experiences in York.

I have to say, on my last trip to London, Norwich and Exeter, in 2009, the food was outstanding everywhere we went. I took my mom and we joked about how we were eating our way around England.

Thank you all for you encouragment. It is like throwing chum to a shark.

Frezzing our collective arses off. We visited some seaside resorts and thought of the Beatles song When I'm 64 and wondered which of these padding the streets screamed for the Beatles.

Full report in a day or two.

"Thank you all for you encouragment. It is like throwing chum to a shark."

This made me laugh out loud! :D
Looking forward to more...

Aduchamp1:

We are staying at a new place for us The Stylohotel hotel. Other than the location why did you choose it?

Any change of sharing where you purchased the oblong dish decorated with NYC bridges?

Enjoy your visit with your friends and stay warm.

Sandy

Frezzing our collective arses off. We visited some seaside resorts and thought of the Beatles song When I'm 64 and wondered which of these padding the streets screamed for the Beatles.>>

Adu - this time last year we were in yorkshire for a long weekend and [apart from the day of the Royal Wedding] the weather was glorious. sorry you've got the opposite - but you are perhaps experiencing more typical weather, and therefore enjoying more typical pursuits.

Annhig, sorry I missed your irony before. Sometimes I get it, sometimes one has to slap me on the head with a board. Pardon.

Our host had a problem with a clogged pipe. He poured a teaspoon of Marmite into the drain and it fixed it immediately.

Ann
Whatever our expierences are, that is what they are. They weather is but one factor. This fine May morning was -1 when we awoke, but warmed up quickly.
______
We chose Stylohotel for its location and price. It sounded quirky and different, so we chose it.

We purchased the tray at Fish's Eddy in NYC on Broadway and about 26th street. Fish's Eddy is the name of small town in the Catskill Mountains of NY State.

Annhig, sorry I missed your irony before. Sometimes I get it, sometimes one has to slap me on the head with a board. Pardon.>>

memo to self - be funnier!

Adu - an admirable attitude. perhaps the stiff upper lip is catching, or you were already imbued with sufficient phlegm to withstand even a british summer.

Ann

We have skin that has been thickened by all sorts of weather. (I cannot listen to people's travel stories that are filled with all their problems but without a sense of adventure and fun. We have had to return home from trips because of deaths in the family and have been in and around crime and terrorism. There are things much worse than rain and bad meal.)

We have skin that has been thickened by all sorts of weather. >>

sort of hobbits then?

<<There are things much worse than rain and bad meal>>

indeed there are, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't want a bit of sunshine and a good meal occasionally.

Just found this report and I'm flabbergasted that you went to an Aberdeen Steak House???

You redeemed yourself a little by questioning the phony cover charge and successfully negotiating the removal.

I do hope you didn't leave a tip!

Treacle Part III

(Sassy Cat, our hosts asked the same question, but he was just the waiter and not the ones who sets the rules.)

It has been days since I last wrote and we are currently now in sunny Edinburgh, the last place you will find a Sunglass Hut. We are in a rental apartment on Spittal Street. We just left York where the river Ouse is pronounced ooze. I guess tomorrow we visit a little town called Flemm. Yes, I know that Spittal has something to do with a hospital.

We visited Castle Howard in Yorkshire. I have decided to rename it Castle Howie because my cousin Howie and the building are both basically useless and many people stare at them. I have been inspired to write a new series for Masterpiece Theatre, “Downtown Abbie.” It is about a wealthy Orthodox Jew who needs a huge place to show off his every day and Passover dishes.

The grounds of Castle Howie are spectacular. They are manicured and pedicured as far as the eye can see. There are magnificent gardens and what the locals call follies. These are structures that have no intrinsic value and are jarring in this most verdant patch of the world. They take the form of pyramids, monuments without attributions, and obelisks, all from the whimsy of the architect. In this modern world where the owners of such estates no longer lead a Jane Austen life without the hope of marriage, some of the land is leased for farming, while the remainder is used as an excuse to charge an exorbitant amount to pad about.

The building itself is crammed with paintings and pieces of sculpture. The current owners live in a segregated wing. They do not have titles, even though their forbearers did. It has been explained to many times something about the ninth Duke of Carlyle was Anne Bolyen’s third uncle who was twice removed from the Earl of Colostome. This explains why they all have extraordinarily thin lips and hemophilia but not why the lost their title.

The rising entrance is impressive with recreations of 18th century figures just below a bell shaped dome. It is where Brideshead Resvisted was filmed. The guides were slightly miffed at the 2008 version.

The day before we visited Whitby, Scarborough, and Robin Hood’s Bay along the Yorkshire coast. These are seaside resorts of different standings. Whitby is a combination of real history tied to Captain Cook, honky-tonk rides and tourist shops, and an out of the way store that smokes its own kippers. Our hosts were not Jewish and did not get the young kipper references. The kippers were placed in the boot of the car and some how forgotten until the smell rose above that of the roadway. Yes, I now use boot, lift, fortnight, pitch, quid, etc and will do so until I get home. Here it is to be understand, at home it is pretentious.

The best meal we have had so far was in Whitby away from the tourisitng crowds in a restaurant called The White Horse and Griffin, which we immediately started calling The Merv and Griffin. The greaseless beer batter crust was crisp and tasty while the cod done to a turn. We also had proper mushy peas. I will never understand the attraction of tortured veggies and assume they are but another comfort food. Nonetheless the meal was truly worthwhile.

We were told that the rock candy in Whitby was not only outstanding but the name Whitby was inscribed in the candy itself. Impressive indeed. We went into one of the more famous rock candy emporiums but I did not see any. Rock candy in the US, looks like quartz and it is jagged and translucent, hence the name rock candy. I asked where the rock candy might be and the woman looked at me as if I was both stupid and blind. It was like entering a pet store and asking which ones were the dogs. It seems in the UK, rock candy could be of any color and is often in the shape of rods. The name was written into the candy. Of course, I dropped mine on the ground and shattered Whitby.

The sea and the cliffs are majestic and magnetic to many, but Whitby was overrun by tourists, Robin Hood’s Bay has limited charm and Scarborough on the day of our visit had tumultuous tides.

We will never conquer the pronunciation of these Yorkshire towns. My rule of thumb is whatever it the name looks like make up an absurd alternative and that is often correct. He did take a hike and ran into a group whom I thought were the Lumbering Lesbians of Sleights. Yes Sleights it is the name of a town.

Our hosts John and Margaret were more than kind and generous. We had only met them once by accident in France but have kept in touch for years. John was overwhelmed to learn that the York City football team must play twice at Wembley in the next 8 days, in order to win something or other. The last night we went to see an amateur production of Annie in which the grand daughter of one their oldest friends was leading a hard knock life. It could have been worse. But we could thank John and Margaret for their hospitality.

To lose your title is like losing your shadow. As you have seen we seldom have shadows in Yorkshire. Glad you enjoyed the trip

funny, funny, funny. You should be hired by Fodors to add a touch of humor to their travel books.

rfbk....by now, don't you know better than to encourage Adu?
This thread will go to the 300-mark, easy.

Hey Tower, you know you liked my young kipper joke.

Okay Andrea (Adu is probably napping now)..I actually guffawed 17 times as I skipped through the report, chuckled 6 times, giggled once and laughed aloud three times. The bestof the bunch...The Merv and the Griffin, the Earl of Colostome and the Lumbering Lesbians of Sleights....maybe you're right rfbk...just maybe.