This is Why I Will Always Travel Solo From Now: Trip Report -Rome and Sorrento
 

Well I am finally getting around to doing my trip report. I came back to work on 10/17th to a huge pile of work and to a major job crisis, but for now at least the pile on my desk is down to a manageable size.

This report will not list the major sites to see and not even that many restaurant reviews, this report is to warn others thinking about going on a trip with a group of people to rethink your plans, or at least take some precautionary steps before you leave to ensure that your trip will not be a trip from hell. Actually, this trip had a few really good days, but unfortunately more bad days, but how bad can Rome and the Amalfi Coast really be.

A little background first: This was my 6th trip to Italy and my 6th time in my favorite city in the world Roma! My 5 travel companions had never been to Italy, well one woman had been in college, many moons ago and obviously did not remember one single thing about it. Two of the women I have known since high school (D & J), the other three (M, P and N) are neighbors of J and I did not know them prior to this trip. We are all the same age – 50 somethings.

In the early planning stages of this trip, the things I really stressed to this group (which incidentally changed characters a few times before we left) was that everyone really needed to be in fairly good physical shape, at least fit enough to carry their own luggage, be able to walk up stairs, handle walking on cobblestones and probably be able to climb up some moderate size hills – think Positano and Capri.

The other major point I wanted to make was that I would be more than willing to give them lots of suggestions – (via Fodors recommendations – sure hope they aren’t reading this - but if they didn’t during the planning of this trip, I doubt seriously that they are reading this now, lol), help with directions and recommendations for restaurants, etc., but I would in no way be their tour guide. I emphasized the importance of doing their own research and reading so they could decide what was really important to them in terms of where they wanted to go and what they wanted to see. In other words, this is your trip and you need to plan it.

During the next six months my decision to organize this trip would be questioned by me many times. After many phone calls and emails, an itinerary was finally agreed to. We would fly into Rome, stay there for four days with one day trip to Florence and then take the train to Naples and on to Sorrento as our base for 8 days. We would do day trips down the coast to Positano, Amalfi and Ravello and over to Capri and maybe Ischia, Pompeii and a day in Naples. Everyone agreed.

In the meantime I got the opportunity to go to Rome for 8 days in March and was really pleased to be able to secure for the group, 3 apts. in the same building, just off Campo dei Fiori for a great price. I also was finally able to meet my friend SeaUrchin and her friend S. for a few days, one of which we spent in Sorrento. In Sorrento I was fortunate enough to stop into the Hotel Lorelei on their opening day of the season and book us 3 seaview rooms. I had always wanted to stay at the Lorelei and I just knew the group would love it there.

I was very excited to tell the group the good news. While I was gone they decide to call the group the Divas. So, almost immediately the red flags started going up. Two of the Divas told me they had a bad fear of heights so the planned bus trips down the AC would be out of the question. One Diva revealed she gets seasick very easily and so would not be able to go to Capri or Ischia.

In June, D fell and injured her back and was in PT, her doc said she should be fine by the end of Sept. though. One other Diva had knee surgery in April which was still causing her some problems and another Diva had leg and feet problems, which she had failed to mention, which she was now concerned about. By July J was suffering from plantars faceitis (sp).

In August, foot/leg problem Diva P and now “torn miniscus” Diva N decided they would cancel their apt. in Rome for two days and take the train to Venice instead. I tried to explain that by the time they spent almost a day traveling there and back to Rome for our departure to Sorrento that they really would not have much time to spend in Venice, plus they would need to find a hotel and that might not be so easy at the last minute. Well, they found out the apt. in Rome would not rent to them for just two days so they decided not to go to Venice.

I had booked a Scavi tour for them, after telling them how great it was and how much I had enjoyed taking the tour. They all agreed – Well after waiting almost a month, I finally got the confirmation back. When I gave them the good news, two of them asked if there would be any bones, or graves or anything morbid about it and if it was in close quarters and underground – duh!!! yes. Well I had to cancel their reservation.

Now I am really having concerns about this whole trip.

We had our pre-trip dinner about a week before we left and everyone seemed so excited and so enthusiastic and everyone assured me that their physical problems all seemed to be under control and would not be a problem, so for the first time in months, I thought this is going to be ok.

The very next Monday I get an email from Diva P&N saying that they just thought there was too many stairs for them to climb to the apt. in Rome and they wanted me to cancel theirs and they would find something else, close to where we were. I’m thinking there is no way in h--- they are going to find something near the Campo di Fiori one week before we are to leave! But they did, amazing. Just around the corner from ours on the little side street between the Campo and Piazza Farnese. I told them they would have to contact RealRome and cancel their apt. themselves. Luckily, there was no problem and no penalty charge.

Now we are 3 days to lift off when I get an email from D saying that she is having second thoughts about going (she and I were sharing apt. and hotel room). Her back was acting up again, she was totally freaking out about her debit card not working in Italy – apparently some guy at her bank told her that he would never travel with just a debit card (she doesn’t have a credit card!!! Who doesn’t have a credit card??) and that debit cards get eaten or stolen and advised her to get euro travellers checks instead of using her debit card. I’m now trying to take deep breaths – The next day she emailed that she really thought she would not go – I emailed back that she would have to pay her ½ of the apt. and hotel room, but that I would totally understand if she didn’t’ go. I’m thinking that maybe this is a blessing in disguise! She emailed back immediately saying that she was going. She then emailed back later that day saying that she had gone to the money exchange and was taking her total trip budget in euro cash! She actually carried around $3,000 e in her money belt for the whole trip. She’s now calling me, talking non-stop about all her fears, doubts and paranoia about being robbed and worse. By this time I’m saying to myself, ok, we’ve been friends for years, BUT how much time have I actually spent with her over the last 20+ yrs – a few “girls weekends” 2-3x a yr. get togethers for dinner?? How well do I really know her now. Gulp.

Ok, I know I am going on and on about the dynamics of this group and we haven’t even left yet, but I’m hoping maybe this may be a warning to some of you who may be contemplating a similar situation.

Well, at my suggestion, we are on our way to the Vancouver airport in our stretch limo ($17 each) sipping Prosecco which I had been saving for a special occasion and after a little toast to the trip, I ask them if they had one thing to pick that they really wanted to do or see on this trip, what would it be. Dead total silence. The Divas are now looking from one to the other and finally J says, I really want to see the Sistine Chapel and I think, TG! then another chimes in – I want to shop!! The other Divas are still thinking about it. I’m now thinking to myself – I am so going to have to ditch the Divas as soon as we get to Rome.

We have a little light dinner at the airport and amazingly no great fuss when the bill came – more on that later. British Air was actually very good. First time for me as I usually fly Delta out of Seattle. I was a little worried about the 13 lb carryon limit, but I didn’t see anyone checking on that and I KNOW some of the Divas were way over as were most of the carryons I was seeing being shoved into the overheads. I think there is more legroom in coach and the in-seat entertainment is nice. Even the food wasn’t too bad and the FAs were just great – friendly, helpful and the free wine doesn’t hurt.

We finally are in Roma! The limo that I have arranged is there to pick us up – two of the Divas have apparently arranged for help de-boarding and are met with two wheelchairs being pushed by two incredibly handsome young men. The two Divas are very embarrassed and couldn’t stop giggling all the way to the limo. I think someone got pictures to blackmail them with no doubt. Our limo driver was a hoot and even pinched my cheek when I got out of the limo – no – I know what you’re thinking - the cheek on my face!! Our apts were a short walk up Via Cappellari from the Campo dei Fiori, through a huge wooden door which opened into a tiny, charming little courtyard and up one very steep flight of marble stairs. The apts are nice. Pretty basic, but very adequate for our needs. Mine even had a piano and floor to ceiling window with a tiny little iron balcony and a clothes line. It’s now 11:00 p.m, but everyone is hungry and wanting to see the Campo, so we walk around a little and then settle on Da Baffetto 2 for some pizza and vino. I couldn’t believe it’s now 11:45 and I’m sitting in Rome eating pizza. I’m very optimistic that this trip is going to be great after all. Back to the apt. I decide on the pull out couch and D gets the bedroom upstairs. After D is asleep and snoring upstairs, I’m leaning out the window watching the activity in the tiny street below and all the young people who are spilling out of the Campo and enjoying a Friday night with their friends and I’m breathing in that special soft Roman air and feeling like I am somehow where I was meant to be. It’s been worth the effort to get here and I am happy.

Little did I know what was to come – more later as I can,

Wow. This is better than the Da Vinci Code! Looking forward to hearing more.

Oh goody....more more!!

HI, Barb!

As for "group dynamics", this sounds more like "hearding cats" to me! :)

More, please! You have a great way of putting the reader next to you. I feel like I'm in Rome right now!

OMG...don't know if I'll be able to read the conclusion of this painful story. It just goes to show that the old saying, "He who travels best, travels alone" (or something like that) was probably stuck in Italy with the Divas!

Don't think me rude, but why in HELL would you even consider organizing something like this????

I shall follow your tale (which I suspect will be one of woe...) with great interest.

Almost every trip report and/or discussion about group travel that I have read on this board has been a horror story.

Question: Do only unhappy group travellers post trip reports or are all group travellers unhappy?

Barb, More, more, more....

Gosh - your story is bringing back so many painful memories of my last European trip. Don't get me started, I can probably kvetch for days about the travel companion from hell. :)

I am really enjoying your trip report and have complete sympathy - on a daily basis I fantasized about ditching my travel companion and going it alone.

And to think I've been given a hard time about traveling to Europe alone a few times in the past!

Barb,

It sounds like this was painful but I'm afraid your pain was my gain.

You do have a wonderful way of telling a story. Glad you had that lovely moment on your balcony on your first night!

kakalena

Barb, hope you had some wonderful moments to more than compensate for the Divas. I also planned a trip with a high school friend and Never Again! Solo works for me.
Please continue.
Judy

Thanks for the understanding responses. I hope phyllis_stein reads this. I think eliztrav really summed it up - clinging vine, no curiosity, no plan, none of your planning being appreciated and no-one listening to you once you are there. I actually had a really bad feeling about this trip about 3 months into the planning, but I kept trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, and I was trying to be very optimistic. I have to be really honest and take some of the responsibility here too, it was an opportunity for me to share expenses for accommodations, limos, etc., and therefore be a relatively inexpensive trip. Now I know better - I will never compromise my travel happiness for a cheap room. I'll try to get the next installment done this afternoon between work projects.

More! More!

Keep talking keep talking.
It makes we who love solo travel feel validated, and it makes we who travel with friends and family wake up to what should be avoided.

Yours is definitely a case of
no good deed goes unpunished.

I have a friend who was going with friends and family on a trip to London, she'd been there before, they had not. She told everyone that she was delighted they would all be there at the same time, and she'd be happy to offer suggestions. Most dinners were planned as a group. But, during the day, she was organizing her time as she saw fit, and while anyone was free to join her in any activity, they would be joining her under their own steam. Each room in the hotel was reserved separately by the people who would be staying in the room. Once there, if my friend chose to change her day's schedule, or not stay for the entire tour of the museum, or skip lunch that day, she made it clear from the beginning she would not be responsible for the others' getting back to the hotel, or their going on to the next activity.

Barb, yours was more difficult due to the apartment, and to the travel from one place to another.
There's always next time!

post more!!! im sooo intrigued so far.

This is hilarious! Only because I have had some similar experiences. Like..the traveling companion who decides she needs to have a sit-down meal 12 minutes before the train to Naples leaves on a track that we have yet to identify!

>Two of the women I have known since high school (D & J), the other three (M, P and N) are neighbors of J and I did not know them prior to this trip.<

UH, OH. :)

Looking forward to more of this very interesting report, Barb.

((I))

Barb, this is shaping up to be a really good, if painful, yarn! Can't wait to read the rest!

Elaine - your friend's plan is EXACTLY what I will do if and when I ever decide to travel with companion(s) again. Live and learn.

Sorry for the typo

that was "herding cats" not "hearding"

Barb, I know you don't want to hear it, but here it is: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Now you are going to say, NUTS to being stronger!!!! :))

Looking at your itinerary, I thought: seems simple enough, two 'home bases' and day trips therefrom. What could go wrong? (I have the feeling you're about to tell us...)

I'm wondering if you were feeling a little too responsible. If you weren't going to be their tour guide, it wasn't up to you to worry if people couldn't, or wouldn't, participate in planned activities (Amalfi coast, Scavi tour) or if they were about to embark on impractical plans (shorten apt rental, mini-trip to Venice). Yet it seems you did, and not surprisingly it was a heavy load to carry.

You can lead the horses to Rome, but you can't make them drink the water....or even the cappuccino....

Cheer up, we're all going to enjoy the tale.

This is better than Desperate Housewives - eagerly await the next installment!

Hi Barb, I knew there was a good reason you didn't meet me for dinner, and I have a feeling I'll soon know the details! Makes me so glad I went by myself. As soon as you said you had never met three of the group before, I had a feeling you were in for trouble...Looking forward to more!

Barb, just reading your report has me counting my blessings. I've travelled to France alone, with my husband, with our best friends(a couple) and with my sisters, daughter and three of her friends and had fantastic trips every time. Each was a different style of journey but enjoyable all the same. You have a very descriptive writing style, I can picture each of the Divas. Waiting to hear more. Deborah

Barb,

Many kudos to you for giving it your all to plan this trip.

After 6 successful group trips with about 15-20 people, I do know what you do go through.

However, I think there is only way to do group trips: one person really needs to be in charge ( as I am, what I says goes or they don't go) otherwise it is very difficult.

I can SO appreciate that you did not want to play tour guide; it is ALOT of work.

Fortunately I make the time( and have the time) to plan the trips A-Z with most of the responsibility on my shoulders. Knock every piece of wood in my house, that the trips are great and we all have a good time; but I do know this is very rare.

You should be congratulated on your a+ efforts!!!!!

"Two of the Divas told me they had a bad fear of heights so the planned bus trips down the AC would be out of the question. One Diva revealed she gets seasick very easily and so would not be able to go to Capri or Ischia."

OK, I would have been outta there at that point. This group had all the warning signs of being VERY High Maintenance. But your nightmare trip is our gain -- can't wait to hear the gory details!

"It's better to be alone than to wish you were."

Barb- Quite honestly you sound like a lot of fun. My comment is I think you should look around and try to make some new friends... people you have more in common with. There's loads of women who are independent, self-sufficient, interested, and interesting (but this group sure ain't them -LOL).

More, more! I can't wait!

Suze--i wish i could find ladies like that! I generally travel solo. Only took two trips with other folks--took my mother to europe in august and had a BALL--it was her first trip there. Mom's make good travel companions!! The other time was a 4 day trip to New Orleans with a girl I had known for about 17 years (most of my life, considerin we're both 21). I LOVED nola, but hated travelling with her--we didn't speak for months after returning home.

ALL she wanted to do was party. I honestly couldn't care less about "partying". I'm not into the frat house scene, which is what most of the bars on Bourbon are all about..so I told her to just go at it alone, and I'd be at this nice jazz club I found. She ended up just coming with me to the jazz club--i can't understand why people can't get a sense of independance!

I did end up going to a couple of places she wanted to go to, so we wouldn't argue too much. When it really wasn't my scene, I left. We both love Karaoke, so we had a lot of fun at this Karaoke bar and spent a lot of time there sinc it's something we both enjoyed.

OOOOHHHH MYYYYY....lol I'm sitting here feeling a bit guilty at enjoying the read so much while feeling your pain! I've learned to value good travel companions....they are a RARE breed! Recipe: some common interests, a sense of humor, a sense of independence, flexibility/adaptability (something will ALWAYS fo wrong!), ...

Eek - well at least you are back in one piece (right??)!

Looking forward to more... don't leave us hanging much longer, lol!

So, it’s a new day, the sun is shining, I had a good night sleep thanks to Ambian and I’m raring to go. We had decided to meet for cappuccinos on the Campo at 9:00 to see what everyone wanted to do for the day. Because D had the bedroom upstairs and the closet and drawers were up there too, while I was in the shower, D had taken it upon herself to completely fill the whole closet and most of the drawers with her stuff, leaving me two small drawers and 2 hangers. I also noticed she had placed all her toiletries onto two of the three small shelves in the bathroom. Oh, well, I don’t care, not worth worrying about, we’ll work it out. I think I can temporarily just put my folded stuff on the closed piano downstairs - this became my storage space for the entire stay at the apt. My coat and a few hanging things were draped over chairs.

At this juncture it may be important to this report to tell you that I consider myself a traveller, not a tourist. Now I know, no one is going to mistake me for Italian, as hard as I try, but I do try to blend in as much as I can. I have learned the customs, I am not loud, I am polite and I really try my hardest to communicate with my very limited Italian, usually sneaking peaks at my menu translator, or phrase book. The hardest thing for me is to wipe that silly grin off my face which seems to be a permanent thing, just because I’m so darn happy to be there.

So.. it is decided that the Divas will walk with me to get my cell phone charged up with more euros/time and then we will walk over to Piazza Navona, the Pantheon, taking our time. I would show them the nearest Bankcomats and also where the nearest taxi stands are located and point them in the direction of Largo Argentina for buses and trams.

The only Diva who has not made it to the café is now making her way through the crowd to where we are – it was almost like the crowd parted and a ray of light was beamed down from above right on to her – there she was in her black capris, with scenes of Paris in bright orange printed on them, she had on a bright orange t-shirt to match the Eiffel Towers on her capris and a neon lime green jacket, which matched her neon lime green messanger bag onto which was affixed a huge sticker that said “Canada” in red and white. She wore a hat, which was very similar to my late partner’s fishing hat, without the flies. Oh, and white tennis shoes with little socks trimmed in, yes, orange. She was apologetic for being late, but her enthusiasm made me overlook her lovely outfit. So off we went, Mama duck with her ducklings following. Along the way, they would ask what every single building was, the history of that particular building, what that tree is, why are there so many different type of policemen, complaining about the graffiti, the crowds, the cobblestones and were in absolute fear for their lives when they saw their first major street crossing. I said, ok, let’s go, one hung behind, decided to go, then got scared, stopped and then ran back to the curb. Now, she is on one side of the street and we are all on the other side of the street. She won’t budge. Eiffel Tower Capri pants yells in her loudest voice, come on, it’s ok. Bless her heart, she runs back over and grabs Ms. Scared to Death and hauls her back over to our side. By this time, a crowd has gathered to watch this daring rescue. I will come to really like Eiffel Tower Diva in the end.

Chuckle.

Could you tell us what the worst disaster is ahead of time? I don't think that I can wait that long.

:-)

I learned not to invite friends along for travel. The first time after a bad break up with my ex, a friend and I headed to Jamaica and all my friend wanted to do was sleep in!!! I didn't let that hold me back and did my own thing-she came along after that.

On a trip to NY with 3 other friends, all they wanted to do was shop and sleep in. (Granted, NY is a great place to shop BUT we live in CA where we have practically the same stores!).We had planned to go to Boston for the day and the day before, no one wanted to go. I bought a ticket and took the train from NY-Boston by myself. That was definitely the highlight of my trip. I got to do exactly what <b> I </b>wanted. When I returned to the hotel later that evening, they all said they wished they would have gone because they didn't do anything that day.

I have great friends that I have known for years and a sister I get along with very well, however, the only person I will travel with is my husband or alone.

I'm curious to see if there was problems when it came to splitting the tab for meals. This has to be one of the biggest problems when I occasionally go out with other couples. There's always someone who orders the menu and then doesn't put enough money to cover the cost, tax, or tip!

Looking forward to the rest of the drama!!!!

PS-When they named themselves the &quot;Divas&quot; you should have had an idea what you were getting into #o

I'm loving this trip report - I can hardly wait for future episodes!

Kudos to you, Barb, for persevering through your travel travails with the Divas.

Dear God...this sounds like a trip with my
inlaws....if they were to ever brave leaving their hometown. Can't wait to hear the rest!!!

Love the trip report so far! Anxiously awaiting Part II - can't wait to find out what happens next!

I really hate to say this, but this is very entertaining. That sounds terrible, but you just have a wonderfully descriptive way with words that makes reading this so interesting. Please - more!

Fortunately, I like traveling both solo and with others, but am picky with who I travel with. The worse vacation I had was a week in a small condo with a family with 2 teenagers - and I was single. YIKES! Never in my life have I gone out at 9PM to see a movie while on vacation, but I did that time just to escape the tension and all that teen angst. UGH! Never again!

Please, continue!

More!!!!
Ms Eiffel Tower Diva - I love it

Barb, I remember your wonderful report from Rome in March (same time the TN Trio of Terror was there)so I'm hoping you at least had some nice alone time. You sound like such a nice person so I'm afraid others take advantage of you. Can't wait to hear more!