Ah yes, the French and their dogs. Once, while eating in a small restaurant in Paris, we noticed a man at a nearby table who was feeding...his necktie. He would take a fork of food from his plate, carefully look around, and move it toward his chest. The fork would suddenly reappear...empty. Only by watching him closely did we see what was happening. He had a Mexican hairless dog tucked inside his vest. Its tiny head would dart out at the fork, snatch the food, and just as suddenly retreat. When he got up to leave, he carefully buttoned his coat and departed with a tip of his hat to the proprietor. We asked the owner if he knew that the man had a dog under his vest. He smiled. Yes, he said; that man has eaten here every evening for five years. "He thinks I do not know he has that dog, and I pretend that I do not know. That way, we are both happy." Ah, the French, they are a funny race.

<BR>This reads so much like something the humor writer Dave Barry wrote that I wonder if this isn't really something of his? In any case it's quite funny and I'm surprized that some folks couldn't tell it was a joke! I guess you have to be someone born without a sense of humor to not see the obviousness of this.

I spread the first message around to friends (all French) and they all laughed! May I add that French people are going to be even worse (if this is possible) considering the recent victory (World Cup...). Post-scriptum: I am not a soccer fan and I don't own a dog!

I'm so glad I've read this! To think I almost went and spent 2 weeks on the French Riviera, basking in the sun, eating shelled slugs and watching topless beautiful women walk by. I have now cancelled the trip and decided to go to Cleveland instead. With my baseball cap on backwards. :) <BR> <BR>Frankly, I think Keith loves France and just wants to keep it to himself. Nya-nya-na-nya-na!!! Aint gonna happen buddy!!!! <BR> <BR>Bob

I am the one who posted the first reply....I fell for it in a big way!!!Let's just say that English is not my first language and it takes me a while to get this type of humor....well, for what is worth, it is kind of funny....

<BR>My family is travelling to Paris in December. We are not sophisticated travellers and will be on a limited budget. Would the Left Bank be an interesting place to stay for a few days? Any suggestions? <BR> <BR>Thanks

MERDE! I'm sitting this one out... <BR>:-)

Interesting comments. Funny that such a message draws such a diverse response. Lighten up! It's really a beautiful place - a nice escape from the ordinary - come see France for yourself - stay at our place (...small "plug"): <BR> <BR>http://cyberrentals.com/FRA/GleaFRA.html, or http://www.classifieds2000.com/cgi-c...?P1+C235+R4599 <BR> <BR>Who knows - you might enjoy it! (p.s. I agree with Bob Counts' message!)

My favorite French things are Provence, French bread, and the "bidet". Love the south of France, hate Paris and all the inflated press (very dirty city). French consume less soap than any other european, girls have hair under arm sometimes, salespeople don't care if they wait on you or not, will NOT speak English, even if they know it, and truly believe all roads lead to Paris. These are me negative observations and sterotypes; met many lovey people everywhere, so it really doesn't pay to generalize. However, on the whole, French are as different as night to day from the English, who value order, fairness and timeliness. <BR>

Apart from the good humour I just want to say: <BR>Before you go to a foreign country you should always decide whether you go there because you want to experience something different (no matter if you consider it better or worse than good old home) or whether you want to invade and change it to your standards. <BR> <BR>If you want to invade etc or if you before experiencing it consider it all worse: <BR>PLEASE STAY HOME!

Well Keith, I'm in love. I am sitting here alone in my office having the most wonderful laugh. I'm sending this on to the other secretaries. You are a hoot!!

The "Ugly American Does Exist".

I've had bad experiences from pea-brained french people in Britain - if you are asian or black, don't go to France as they have a very narrow perception of us, which explains why the nazi party in France occupies a third of the vote in elections. <BR>It is easy to walk down the wrong street and get yourself killed. <BR>

Keith, you are a talented, funny, writer. Don't let Maria's comments upset you, I feel sorry for her. <BR> <BR>How about Japan?

Monsieur Rowland - J'espere certainment que vous n'etes pas serieux. L'un ca ou l'autre vous etes un idiot.

Monsieur Rowland - J'espere certainment que vous n'etes pas serieux. L'un ca ou l'autre vous etes un idiot.

Allow me to translate:<BR><BR>Mr. Rowland, I certainly hope that you are not serious. Either way you are an idiot.

This is an old post that still makes me laugh. Tongue in cheek humor, obviously.....

"The Germans qualify perfect happiness as "happy as God in France". (...) Everybody agree that France would be Paradise on Earth ... if it wasn't for the French!" (Claude Gagni&egrave;re)<BR><BR>"France is divided into forty-three millions Frenchmen. France is the only country in the World where if you add ten citizen to ten others, you won't have an addition but twenty divisions." (Pierre Daninos)<BR><BR>"The French love revolutions, but they hate change" (Anatole de Monzie)<BR><BR>"There is nothing better than what the French do well and nothing worse than what they do badly" (Benoit XIV)<BR><BR>"The French government is an absolute monarchy, mitigated by songs" (Chamfort)<BR><BR>

Keith,<BR>Everyone knows you can't get good Mexican food outside Texas, you fool!