Seperate checks? rude?
 

Our family is looking forward to an approaching European vacation. London and Paris for 9 days and 11 family members.

Is is tacky to ask for seperate checks in either city? We can split the bill but we have a wide variety of eating styles. some folks drink, others do not, some are very light eaters, etc etc.

I was thinking that it maybe easier to ask for seperate checks.

TIA

For a group of 11, it would be rude in Paris unless you warn the waiter ahead of time, in which case it is absolutely no skin off his nose. However, I certainly hope that you are not actually asking for 11 separate checks but no more than 3 or 4.

When work colleagues have lunch together, separate checks are quite common.

I think it's a bit naff and a pain for the restaurant. Why not divvy up when you return to the hotel or take it it turns to pay the bill

We have often given the waitperson more than one cc and split the bill evenly..May not work for your group, however..Ask, you can only be turned down by the restuarant. Divvying up can be awkward after the fact.."I had only 1 wine, you had 3 so therefore" can spoil an evening out not to mention a trip!!!

It is a bit of a pain, but when we travel with friends, one person keeps a running tab for everybody. We all give that person money to pay the bills. Sometimes, we take turns paying, but that person still keeps up with everything and anyone who is getting behind is the next to pay. Every few days, we settle up.

I don't think I have experienced separate checks in either city.

Each couple just gives the waiter a credit card and they divide the bill evenly. Sometimes, when the restaurant seems uncomfortable with that or if it is a group of individuals and couples, one person pays the entire bill and the rest settle with him/her with cash. Some people love putting the entire bill on their card for the points

In Spain and France it's not normal if you're with a small group of friends or family to ask for separate checks, but it's not a problem with a larger group. I doubt it's any different in the UK. Just let them know that you would like separate checks before sitting down at the table, but hopefully you will not be asking for 11 separate checks. Now that would be rude.

What we normally do when dining with friends is one person pays (credit card or cash) and the others pay them, typically splitting the bill equally. If you're the light eater, then you loose.

You'll also have to plan ahead with a group as large as yours, especially in Paris, as most restaurants tend to be smaller and table spacing tighter. Few will have a table large enough to seat 11 people.

Frankly, it might even be better to use at least two different tables for the group -- I have never been able to follow the different conversations when there are more than 6 people sitting together.

Dividing the bill equally between 2 or 3, with different credit cards, is one thing. Asking for different itemised bills is something else; I really don't think you can ask that for 11 people, or even for 3 or 4. If you want to do that; take cash, and everyone can add up there own costs, and you pay the bill in cash.

You do have to plan ahead with your restaurants. There are places in London that do not take reservations for larger groups. They may also ask for credit card details in advance.

There aren't too many restaurants where you can go and easily get a table for 11, either. You would certainly need to reserve. I can't imagine doing that for my entire vacation, what a PITA.

Maybe none of them will be speaking to each other after two days -- that's often how it goes.

LOL, hey,hey, hey. We've vacationed together before and a few blows usually get folks in line.

Thanks guys,

We'll get it together.

If you are going to ask for 2 checks that is one thing - if you are going to ask for 4 or more I would think that is not really appropriate. It's your job to figure that out - not a waitperson's. Especially if, as I suspect, some people are going to "share" some dishes unofficially and everyone will have a taste of the desserts that only 2 or 3 people order.

Agree that unless you have totally different eating habits - one a salad with a glass of water and most with 3 courses with wine (or tiny children) you should just split the bill equally.

When my DH and I traveled with B and SIL we just took turns. One day we paid for lunch and they paid for dinner and the next day we switched. It all worked out in the end - esp when you are buying bottles or carafes of wine - who keeps track of which person drinks how much?

Of course, if you seriously inconvenience your waiter by asking for several separate itemised bills, then you will have to add a larger tip.

And then you have to decide how to share out the tip - per person, or by fraction of the bill.

Personally, I would prefer to ask for a single bill, then divide up myself, and then tell the waiter how much to allocate to each card. I would also limit the transaction to two or three cards. I loather ending a meal out with prolonged haggling over who should pay what, and it seems inappropriate amongst friends.

It seems to be a particular American thing to travel in large family groups, and I sometimes wonder if the stress of keeping everyone together is one reason why people are more susceptible to pickpocketing and other distraction crimes.

Of course since tipping is not done in Paris, that makes the Paris part of the trip so much easier than London! :-)

in Feb I went on a trip to Rome with 6 kids and 7 adults, none of us related to each other.

we tried the separate bills the first couple of times, and it was indeed a PITA. after that, we just got the kids to put in the money for what they'd had [they were very good at remembering as they were on tight budgets, or so we thought til they went clothes' shopping] and then split the rest between the remaining 7 adults. if one of us had more wine, it was usually made up for by someone else having a pud.

but there was no reason why we could not have put in what each of us had, just like the kids did; it would just have taken longer.

BTW, the MOST important thing we did was to check the bill - it was wrong EVERY TIME. somehow when there are lots of you, those little extras seem to creep onto the bill, innocently I'm sure. So check the bill thoroughly. There's nothing wrong with asking for the menu back to help you work it out.

>>>>><i> Seperate checks? rude? </i>

Yes.

Why do you need separate bills?

It's long been commonplace in English cities for skinflint customers to haggle with each other about how much of a bill each has been responsible. Overhearing "I had one glass of wine: you had two" isn't unusual from parties of a dozen or so destitute, students, or peculiarly finnickety women: it's unheard of among grown-up, settled, men. It's also always liable to attract audible disapproval or ridicule from other customers.

The British culture is that such nit-picking is entirely the nit pickers' responsibility. It's ill-mannered to other customers, and to the restaurant, to expect serving staff time to be diverted from their job of looking after proper customers to indulge the whims of the self-centred.

It's just about OK to hand the waiter 11 different cards, with requests for 11 different amounts, providing the total adds up to marginally more than the bill plus service charge. It's also more than OK for such behaviour to attract even louder disapproval and ridicule from fellow diners than the haggling.

But the onus for doing the sums rests entirely with the self-centred customers. Overtipping to compensate does not compensate the other customers kept hanging around while this nonsense is going on.

Overhearing "I had one glass of wine: you had two" isn't unusual from parties of a dozen or so destitute, students, or peculiarly finnickety women: it's unheard of among grown-up, settled, men>>

flanner - being grown-up settled woman I took immediate exception at this, because i never haggle over restaurant bills, except that I then thought about some "friends" of my mum who have been known to share one cup of tea.

so you might just have a point.