Ira, the info on the recycled tires is accurate. My brother had a 72-hour layover in Molvania last year, and is still recovering from it...he stupidly did not check his innoculations, and the whopping cough nearly killed him! Poor fellow is still recovering at his home in Edmonton, which he tells me is summer-like, even in winter, compared to the Molvanian climate.

uh-oh busted, if I were you, I'd try to bring some snowshoes if you're interested in seeing bears.

Bob the Navigator, I believe one of their largest exports is bear fat, so if you can use it, it goes for mere pennies. Another alternative is a bear-skin rug, but I can't guarantee US Customs will welcome you with it when you return to the USA.

BC

Molvanians ought to be well-protected against the whooping-cough, since they can grease themselves with a good layer of bear fat; but there is, sadly a shortage of brown wrapping-paper with which to complete the insulation. Hence their reputation for a certain slipperiness!

Arriving at Lutenblag in 3 weeks

Is it true that I have to bring 2 Pens (one for writing my name on arrival, another to give as a peace offering to the Molvanian Gods)

Is a single women safe walking at night in Lutenblag? a friend told me Moldavian Men have a ritual dance they do upon encountering a single female.

Do I have to bring toilet paper?, and if so how many rolls?

Do I have to bring a reversible waterproof coat or just a black pashmina?

I don't want to look like an ugly american, what do I have to do to fit in?


Thanks in advance!

PatrickLondon, I am one-sixteenth Molvanian on my paternal grandmother's side and I resent these slurs against a fine, if dentally-challenged, people. [-X

egads a Mole amongst us!!!

Oh fairhope, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Well, in case she didn't have travel insurance, at least you didn't have to ship the body home...so look at the bright side. Hopefully you recovered your donkey and found him in good health.

As one single woman to another:

"Is a single women safe walking at night in Lutenblag? a friend told me Moldavian Men have a ritual dance they do upon encountering a single female."

Yes, they dance to Bolero played backwards...wearing Lemer skins.

"Do I have to bring toilet paper?, and if so how many rolls?"

Someone else will answer if the two concepts are connected...Otherwise, I'd suggest condoms.

Please do not bring condoms to Molvania. Our balloon manufacturing jobs are already being sent to America where the wages are cheaper

Hmmm ! Almost forgot. I do have a wonderful photo of a Molvanian pensioner riding one of their famous native donkeys. Sorry I cannot post it here, but email me if you want a digital copy. [email protected]

If you are travelling alone, there's no reason to bring condoms. Based on what I saw when I was studying abroad in Molvania, there's nobody there you will want to get to know better, if you know what I mean. ;-)

And, whatever happened to the original poster GSTEED ?

I am traveling through Molvania next month and will only have one day in Lutenblag. What should I see? I understand the Molvanian Museum might be losing their prized molar collection - Rome wants them back as a national treasure they believe was stolen during the Mole Crusades. Will the collection still be there in November? Is it ok to wear jeans to the museum, or do I need to bring a Tux? What is the proper dress code for afternoon tea at the Rojal Palatz Hotjl and do I need reservations? Finally, how many carrots to tip the waiter? Any help is appreciated as I am too lazy to do any research on my own.

Every Molvanian man, woman, and child will fight to the death to keep the prized Colletzione Molarini! Those Italians! The nerve! They actually think their food and wine is better than Molvanian cuisine, not to mention their art. Hmmmph.

Wonderful news Marilyn! Thanks for saving my trip. I'll be sure to post a moment by moment trip report for my 24 hours in Lutenblag.

As for the cuisine, how can the Italians compare boring pasta to Wzrobkapazio (stewed mole entrails with potato dumplings) - mmmm, good!

lets go

carrots are for the donkeys. I am told you service charge is included - but if the service is exceptional you may give travel size toothpaste or the little boxes of glide dental floss. Exceptional service calls for a pack of the Crest Whitening strips.

It would be very helpful if the posters could tell us their Molvanian preferences before we go on a wild donkey chase. Are you going to Upper or Lower Molvania? Please tell us your carrot budget. Do you like to go bareback riding or side saddle. This way we can be more helpful. Please don't take this as a criticism of your silly questions

Its like pulling teeth trying to get those original posters to follow-up!

I was talking with some coworkers about my impending trip to Molvania and was astounded that none of them had ever heard of the place! And I'm a teacher!!! Is that not scary? Are Americans truly that ignorant and egocentric? How can they not know about this unique country that dates back to the early Middle Ages and is the best preserved example of life from the 1200s?!

Molvanians are dedicated to preserving their rich heritage, for goodness sakes. They forsake modern conveniences and survive just as their ancestors did centuries ago. Today's proud serfs living in their fiefdoms are still defending the manor and raising moles (a tedious and difficult job, from what I understand). Is that not something to respect?

I'm sorry if I'm venting but after the ethnic slur about toothless Molvanians on last night's Presidential debates last night and the idiots I ate lunch with today, I just had to let go.

Thanks for listening!

Don't worry, we know what you mean! I love the upper Molvania because I enjoy the goat herders who have many a tale to tell and when they invite you into their humble, squalid hut, you know you have not really enjoyed life to this extreme.But confidentially. I did not enjoy eating squirrel, though I want to kill them here in my back yard.

LOL, cigale!

I heard that those Molvanian sheepherders are very verry fond of their sheep. How sweet ~