Sue,

I am going to let the partially eaten chocolate mousse sit in front of me while I dip biscotti into my vin santo and munch.

I shall then slowly sip an espresso while taking very tiny portions of the mousse.

Then, just before you attack me, I shall ask, "Would you care for a bit of my chocolate mousse"?

Suggestion: Query the maitre d before sitting down. Typically customers will tip more if special services are rendered. Best restaurant sanitation practice requires that all food to the table not consumed be discarded! Do not hesitate to ask that remains be sacked for you. Rude? Why?

Capo !!!!

Ann1- what a surprise that must have been to you!

Who can share when the portions are so small? It should be a crime to charge so much and serve so little. And I've never had anything left on my tiny little plate to ever ask for a doggy bag! Its no wonder all those french poodles are so darn skinny!

Yes, well, maybe life or death was a bit much. However, I do think this has been talked to death. If the restaurant doesn't mind, then what's the big deal! As I said, we have done it many times and no one has ever said anything to indicate it was a problem. I can't possibly begin to imagine what every restaurant owner may or may not think about this situation.

Sharing a salad? too weird for me!

Nan, I find when using that method it's best to not chew too much. Otherwise, one is left with a sort of slurry that is more difficult to pass back and forth. :)

Elizabeth, if sharing a salad is your idea of weird, DO NOT go to San Francisco EVER!

geez, capo, I'm eating!

Quote: "I think for a good restaurateur it's obvious that, for dinner, guests stay the whole evening and not every guest will eat a full meal."

This is generally not the expectation in the US. (Some very posh restaurants are exceptions, but it is rare.)

I was a waiter for several years in New Orleans, one of the few cities in America where the meal *is* the event. However, even there, most restaurants fully expect to turn over each table every 2 hrs., three at the outside. American restaurants are usually open for dinner from about 5 pm until about 10 pm., and at a mid-priced restaurant, most tables will turn over 3-4 times in that period. If you attempt to linger the entire evening, your waiter will take subtle action to attempt to get you to leave. The most common technique is hovering; the practice of constantly asking if there is anything else you would like. They do it on purpose because they depend on tips for the bulk of their income; the more parties you serve, the more tips you earn.

A popular mid-priced American restaurant that seats 50 will expect to serve approx. 150 meals in an evening, so there is not as much loss in the situation where a party of 2 shares a meal. I know that when I worked in the industry, we used to make it a point to serve "sharers" as quickly as possible, so that they would finish and leave, opening up the table for another party.

uhoh, well you know what they say...

When you're eating, best not be reading.

I feel sharing is a lot more acceptable in France and Italy when you drink wine and especially a couple different wines with the courses. I really think many americans come in a want tap water or one Pelgrino and then share a salad and an entree, which really ticks off restaurants in europe. Also we like to travel in off season because I think they appreciate your business more, so most are more accomodating, like the that second warm plate we got when sharing an entree in Siena last year.

To Ryn2691:
In Belgium, and in many other European countries, it is perfectly normal to spend an entire evening in a (non posh) restaurant. Last week with our family dinner we arrived at 7.00pm and left the restaurant at 11.30. Not one table was booked twice. That's just not done here.
No subtle action of the waiters to leave, no asking if we would like anything else.
And the worst (for them) is that tips in Belgium are verrrry poor ...

Just read this in October's Gourmet magazine; "designing your own tasting menu. "My chef friends are going to kill me for saying this," Daniel Boulud confesses, "but you can ask the kitchen to divide your appetizers and main courses into two or four". So its perfectly allright in New York then!

Myriam, I do realize that long, multicourse restaurant meals are the norm in most European countries. I enjoy them, as a matter of fact. However, your statement made it sound as if it was universally understood that the restaurant expects the diner to stay all evening. I was just attempting to explain why most Americans *don't* assume that.

Many Americans don't understand that splitting servings can cause a real revenue loss for a small European restaurant, because they don't understand that the restaurant only expects to fill that table once in a given evening. It tends not to occur to them that if the house does not sell that second meal to them, they won't be able to sell it at all, and that many times the food will still go to waste, as the restaurant may not be able to serve day-old food.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going to a restaurant for dinner when you're hungry and ordering the amount of food that will fill you up. It doesn't seem right that you should be expected to order way more food than you could comfortably eat.

My husband and I always share our dinners, even when, as usual, we order two dinners.

My husband and I almost always share salads and appetizers. Most restaurants these days serve such enormous portions that if I ate one whole salad (sufficient to feed a family of 10 rabbits for an entire month - or so it seems :-)) ) - I would't have room for the main course.

So people - does "rude" have a new meaning these days (as in "not done")??

Remember that the context of this question was Italy. Italians tend not to be that prissy about this sort of thing, and in fact, when pairs or groups of customers seem undecided about their choices, curious about trying several options, but not hungry enough for a lot of courses, it is often the waiters who suggest sharing. (They probably do it themselves when they go out to eat.)

That's so true Carol, but also there is no rule in either contry if you don't want to order a fixed meal, you order ala carte and that means, order as small as you like.

I have been told by my close friend who lives in Rome that it is extremely rude to share an entree in Italy. It is entirely different if you order what in the States is referred to as "family style," with people sharing from large plates of various foods.

I can tell you as an Englishman that sharing food in England (I can't speak for the Welsh or the Scotswoman, Sheila Ritchie) is considered a social faux pas. I can remember as a child that you also never, ever said to a server, "Excuse me, I see that your lamb is served with roasted potatoes. May I have the apple compote that is served with your pork loin instead, please?" This would elicit a kick in the shins (under the table) from your formidable Aunt Gemma (who smelled like Woods of Windsor Lavender Water). You ate what was served to you. To do otherwise was considered "below stairs."

Hi, Mimi, Jackie Onassis has a cold. I have her wrapped in an electric blanket. She looks so cute. :)