HELP.. DO not know what to do now?
 

I need good advice. My husband and I are supposed to go to london-paris-Venice-ROme for 22 days. We were really excited since we have been planning for this vication the last year. Originally, my mother was supposed to take care of our 10 month old daughter while we are away but she just called last night saying she does not want the responsibility. I do not know what to do now??! My mother in law passed away 4 years ago and I have 2 unmarried brothers who know nothing about babies. I have no choice but to either cancel this whole trip or take star (my daughter) with us. <BR>The trip was originally:-<BR>7 days london (sheraton park towers)<BR>5 days paris (Millennium Paris opera)<BR>5 days Venice (Danieli)<BR>5 days rome ( Exelsior hotel)

Take the child. You will feel better and not worry about who is taking good care of her. Start her out young enjoying travel. Take toys to amuse her. walk her up the aisles to tire her so she'll sleep and not cry.And enjoy yourselves.

Pretty pathetic when you have to ask this kind of advice.<BR>Call your priest!!!

Assuming she is not too old, a drunk or too sick - tell her to start acting like mother and grandmother ASAP! Even the older folks are getting selfish these day's. Its like riding a bike - you never forget once you learn.

22 days is too long to leave a ten-month old anyway. Take her, and take your mother along to babysit for several hours at a time.

Since you are staying in luxury hotel I take it you can afford a nanny with you to help.

Just because they are staying in some luxury hotels does not mean they can afford to bring grandmother or nanny along. They may have been saving along time to take this first class vacation, using FF miles, or hotel &quot;points&quot;. If you can afford to bring along help, that would be ideal. If not, bring the child along anyway. Just be prepared to have your schedule slowed down and not getting to see everything you had planned. Bring along a back carrier and/or a lightweight stroller. Italians especially love children and when we bring ours, hotel and restaurant employees dote on them and bring them special treats. Don't be surprised to have a waiter scoop up your child and bring her into the kitchen so that you and your husband can dine in peace. Above all, don't force your mother to take care of your daughter. If she feels uncomfortable in doing so, she has her reasons and it is probably best that she doesn't undertake this responsibility if she is not going to enjoy it. There is no law that says grandparents must babysit for an hour, let alone 22 days.

You were going to leave your 10 month old for over 3 weeks just so you could go on vacation overseas?! Why didn't you take this vacation before you became parents? Why don't you put your kid first and reschedule this trip. Having kids does not mean the end of traveling and having fun but come on, ditching a baby for 3 weeks?!?! BTW, I waited until my kid was 8 before I felt comfortable leaving him behind with grandparents while I was 8,000 miles away from home.

While trying to ignore the morons with their opinions about children and child care, I wonder, <BR>1- have you already booked with deposits, the hotels?<BR>2- did you get airline tickets yet?<BR>3-do you and your mother have a good relationship, before this?<BR>4-does she have any idea what this can cost you if she screws it up for you?<BR>If she is just not the kind of mother that any of us want, then my advice would be take the baby.<BR>Obviously, if your own mother leaves you in the lurch like this, you shouldn't really want to go to Europe and leave the baby with her. <BR>It will make a difference in your trip-but it needn't cancel it altogether.<BR>I would cut out a country/city if I were taking a small child though.<BR>Just replan, with baby in mind. If you can afford a nanny (a teenage mothers helper daughter of a friend?) that would be the best of all worlds.<BR>Good luck!

Cancel the trip unless you bring along a sitter. Three weeks is a long trip to take by yourself much less with a ten month old baby. The stress levels for you and all around you will be sky high. The logistics alone will be staggering, and then one of you is bound to get sick ..... . Save it until you can enjoy yourself.

And I smell a good troll.<BR><BR>Anyone asking for actual advice would have provided the one crucial piece of information. When is this trip?<BR><BR>I can think of plenty of good answers to this, if it were a true problem.<BR><BR>But no one plans a three week trip to Europe, planning it for &quot;the last year&quot;, during the first year of their first baby's first year of life.<BR><BR>Not without having major, major reservations and/or serious contingency plans long before now.<BR>

How dare momofstar's mother screw up momofstar's European vacation! She must have absolutely no life of her own to have the time to devote 3 weeks to an infant. An infant who will probably be crying a lot due to separation anxiety. Well all the marriage experts say marriage comes first, then the children. It is momofstar's perogative to decide whether to leave her baby behind or to take her along on this trip but to blame the grandmother for changing her mind, get real. Grandparents are not obligated to care for grandkids while parents vacation. Sometimes vacation plans go awry but it's always someone else's fault, isn't it? Maybe momofstar can sue.

Everyone thanks for responding. I am shocked with the hositility coming from some threads. <BR> It looms like my husband and I will be taking Star along with us. I think 4 cities for a baby is too much so we might cut out Rome. We will also ask the babysitter we have if she can come along with us on this trip. <BR> So far, we have 2 business class tickets on Virgin airlines that are paid for. We have booked our hotels but have not paid any deposit. Also, if the maid does come will we have to get her another room? I think 2 rooms will be expensive so should we be looking for cheaper hotels?

Stay at Home Mom - no disrespect intended, but you sound like a bit of a nutter. <BR><BR>Of course, &quot;my mother was supposed to take care of (the baby)...&quot; is ambiguous - I take it to mean that the MOS's mother agreed (or even offered) to take the baby, and now has changed her mind. If that's the case, I'd try to find out what it is she's worried about and see if you can help alleviate her concerns - if she did agree, then it IS rather unfair for her to back out after all the plans are made, unless there's some material reason (e.g., sickness or the like). If you just assumed she'd take the baby, then obviously that wasn't a good assumption - but I find it hard to believe that someone would make concrete plans without making sure the baby would be taken care of.<BR><BR>As far as taking Star on your trip, it's not un-do-able (although it would slow you down) - a ten-month-old, in my opinion, is easier to travel with than, say, a five-year-old (or a badly-behaved 10- or 15-year old).

I forgot to mention that my mother has changed her mind becuase she thinks she is too old(61) and taking care of Star would be 24/7. She says she can handle a few hours but not more.

Come on guys, this woman only wanted inforamtion on how difficult it would be to take the childe. She didn't need a guilt trip, just some advice on whether she should go or now. Why not lighten up and stop using this to blow off steam.

Still pathetic!!! How oldis momofstar? Now she's asking if she needs an addtional room if she brings a sitter!! <BR>I'm surprised she could make a decision to have Star

I do NOT get you people!!! When a mother decides to take her baby along you all post telling the mother the baby will not remember the trip and to leave the baby behind and then when the mother does that you give her a guilt trip by saying how selfish the mother is!!

While you folks are bickering, I'm off to Europe with the nanny.<BR>Ciao!<BR>Star

This sounds like a troll - only a yuppie SUV driving frappacino ***** would leave her 10 month old baby - aren't these suppose to be precious months of joy? - a little too easy to condemn, no? And who in their right mind would leave their child with their mother? Maybe it would be a great experience for one of your brother's - is it that different than taking care of a puppy? ( LOL ). This is a troll - if you can have a child you can make such decisions without asking strangers, no?

I agree. Her story doesn't hold together very well. Is she bringing a babysitter AND a maid? And she wants to know if she needs a seperate room for her (or them)?

Well, I have taken a nanny before and I usually get her economy seats and a single room in a hotel. If the rooms are connecting it is better for you.

momofstar,<BR> I still think 3 cities is too much for a baby. Why don't you do london and paris this trip and leave venice and rome for another trip?<BR> Also, since you are deciding to take a nanny why dont you rent an apartment instead?

Now she has added the maid, let us see if she adds the chaufeur.

Maybe she could put the child with another relative. A 61 year old mom of his mom sounds selfish anyway so I wouldn't trust her. The brothers must have girlfriends who could help and even if they are gay, some are better than women.

You know what?<BR><BR>This mother should be blamed for dumping a 10 month old baby, for 3 long weeks. My God, I thought mothers of 10 months old babies want to be with them as much as possible, see them change and develop every day. Why have kids if you don't feel the urge to be with them?!?!<BR><BR>Her husbandshould be blamed for taking such a passive approach. &quot;yes, dear, anything you decide, dear&quot;.<BR><BR>Grandma should be blamed for promissing something and then backing off. Not a very credible grandma. Not to be trusted in the future.<BR><BR>Some posters here should be blamed for treating this baby as if it was a dog, or a cat. A pet that we need to find some kind of an arrangement for, while we're gonna have fun in Europe.<BR><BR>And I must be blamed for even bothering with this whole STUPID issue.

I'll babysit Star in Europe if mom provides me a business class seat and my own en-suite room. However if Star makes a fuss in the business class cabin, mom must handle the icy glares and derogative mutterings of the &quot;Upper Class&quot; passengers.

Oh shut yer hole, ami. all of you are so self-righteous, like you wouldn't do the same thing if you could.

FEE FIE FO FUm I smell the blood of a troll/Rex...........

Dear SickOfUsAll:<BR><BR>No, I wold NOT do the same if I could. NO DEAR.<BR><BR>I was in the entertainment business before our first child was born. Every week we had at least 3-4 invitations to previews of shows, special screenings of movies, and many many opportunities to travel. We took advantage of them all.<BR><BR>After the baby was borne, that was IT... we stayed home for the first year or so, went to maybe 2-3 movies (asking my dad to baby sit for the evening) and only then started, very slowly, to accept invitations to shows and parties. The first time we traveled was when the baby was 3 years old -- and we didn't even consider traveling without her. Today she's 18, in college, and she is still very happy to travel with us.<BR><BR>But that's us. I know some mothers have a different approach to motherhood. I also know kids that grow up to be totally alienated to their parents.

I really hope this is a troll post,because if it is not this person sounds like a very self centered very very bad mother who only cares about herself.Also who in their right mind calls a child Star.

I can't believe people on this thread are blaming the Grandmother for being selfish!?! Hello! She has done her share of childraising in bring up momofstar &amp; her 2 brothers for goodness sake! If this is not a troll why would any first time parent (mother or father!) want to leave behind a 10 month old for a whole 3 weeks, dumping the child on the grandparents?? ...And to the person who suggested her brothers girlfriends could take care of the baby - OMG, are you for real...this is the 21st century after all!

I just want to keep everyone updated. We have spoken to the babysitter and she is more than happy to come with us. We have bothdecided that she will have the evening time free each day. ALso, luckily my husband found her a seat in economy class. <BR> Our new trip will be 2 weeks london and 8 days Paris. We have managed to find an apartment in london in mayfair that will be free during that time. We are still looking for Paris so any ideas would be very helpful. <BR> This trip is going to be our first vication not only as a family but also as husband and wife because we had to cancel our honeymoon (also to paris) due to a death in the family. <BR>

No amount of money can buy common sense - I pity the child!

What is wrong with being called Star?

I do not get why everyone is giving momofstar a hard time?! Since she is a new mom why dont we give her advice instead of putting her down?!

Well, I, for one, am really impressed! At 7 p.m. last night, monofstar's itinerary was still London, Paris, Venice and Rome. By this morning, she had managed to change the itinerary to 2 weeks in London &amp; 8 days in Paris (making all needed hotel cancellations, etc.) and even managed to find an apartment for the time in London. WOW! All in 12 hours - she should change her name to supermom!

I think this whole trip is actually going to be in Kentucky (London), Tennessee (Paris), Georgia (Rome) and Florida (Venice).<BR><BR>That's how supermom was able to get all the changes made so quickly.

gigi,<BR> My husband called an agency called london serviced apartments and they had a 2 bedroom apartment in mayfair that was available for our stay. I never said I cancelled the hotels? I actually still have to do that. In otherwords, I wanted to book my new accomodations before I cacel the old ones.

You will still need to book a seat for Star and get her a passport. You cannot just show up at the airport without a reservation for her. Even if she sits in the babysitter's lap (poor babysitter) she still needs a res.