Help! 25 yr. old female travelling alone? Am I safe?
 

I graduated college in December and about to embark on my first time to Europe. Problem is I have tried for years to get friends to go and no one will. (Have dull friends I guess...!)

My question is, will I have fun? Will I be safe? I think I am a pretty smart and adventerous person so I have no problem travelling alone. I just need some reassurance, I think my parents would appreciate it also.
My plan is to fly into London and then go wherever it takes me. I need help from all you experienced travellers!!!

Thanks!

Hmm, next week, my 20yr old son flies to London, and he too is pretty much travelling solo, "going wherever it takes him", for a 4 month period (taking a break from college).

You don't state budget ... my son used these budget oriented sites & forums for more info:
http://www.bugeurope.com/
http://www.eurotrip.com/forum/
http://www.letsgo.com/
http://thorntree.lonelyplanet.com/
http://travel.roughguides.com/

Even if your budget is higher, you should find useful info on personal safety, travelling alone, etc, all geared toward younger travellers.

My daughter was 22 when she went to Italy to sing.

She'd never been out of North America, and had not travelled much here, either.

She flew into Nice, found the train and took it to Lucca, found the hotel where she had reservations, (this is an important point for the first night; make at least a one-night reservation so you have a base to starat from)and over the summer took a few short trips by herself, and then after the performances foundher own way to paris by train, spent a few days there, and got home safely.

No reports of any real problems, at any time, and she had a wonderful visit, in addition to doing the work she went to do.

You'll be fine, unless you do something really silly.

BAK

My 21 year old daughter is going to Italy for Spring Quarter and will be travelling before school starts by herself, and possibly afterwards. I'm really happy and excited for her--I feel more comfortable about her travelling alone in Europe than here in the U.S.

Have a great time--I'm sure you'll meet up with other young travellers. Also, do some research before you go--other good websites that seem more geared to younger/student travellers are slowtrav.com and lonelyplanet.com.

We have two daughters who are now 31 and 28. We live in Australia and 10 years ago at the age of 21 our eldest daughter went on a trip to London. Prior to that she'd never lived away from home and whenever her friends asked her if she was interested in moving into an apartment with them, her stock standard answer was always that it was too good at home and she wasn't interested. She'd just turned 21 when a close girlfriend who had travelled to London three months previously kept pestering her to go, so off she went intending to return home within six months. 10 years later and she's still living in London, she comes home each Christmas for a couple of weeks. She's had several jobs in London and for the past 4 years has studied accountancy with the company she's now working for. Several years ago she also met a wonderful young man from Durban, Sth Africa and their wedding is in April this year. She's travelled to many countries throughout Europe, England and Scotland in her spare time, she's had lots of challenges along the way, and with it all she's grown and developed into a delightful young woman, strong-willed and determined. Our second daughter also went to London on her own when she was about 23. She lived in the UK for two years and had many different jobs, did lots of travelling and again it wasn't without its challenges. When she returned to Australia she applied for a position at an outdoor swimming centre and she was the only female up against several males. The males were all out of college with degrees, she on the other hand had lots of work experience behind her. She won the position and is now the operations manager of a large outdoor swimming centre in charge of about 20 or so staff, some who are older than her. Are our girls perfect? No, but we're very proud of them both and of their achievements and we can see that they've both benefited tremendously from their travelling experiences. I see other young people who haven't left the comfort of their homes and families, and they pale into insignificance in comparison. As a parent it's not easy to let go and there's been moments when we've spent anxious moments waiting to hear from the girls. I think every young person should go overseas and learn to fend for themselves, it's the best education you can have and I'm sure you'll never regret it. We're off to our daughter's wedding in South Africa in April and after the wedding our youngest daughter is setting off once again for 5 months travel around the world with her surf boards. Will we worry about her? Probably, but she goes with our blessings and in the knowledge that she's out there doing what she wants to do and taking on more of life's challenges. There are many young people doing what you're about to do and you'll make friends along the way. You'll be safe if you're sensible and don't take any unnecessary risks, be alert but have fun and enjoy the challenges. Life is full of choices, and I'm sure for those who choose to spread their wings and travel the benefits far outweigh the risks. Go for it and enjoy.

Yes - why wouldn;t you be?

Every place you're going will be full of young single women living their own lives. Unless you plan on engaging is very risky behavior (does it really seem sensible to wander down that dark alley at 2am?) you should have no problems.

I believe there's an average of about one thread per week with the same Message/Question: "Travelling Alone, Am I Safe?" Has there every been a response that in essence said No so Stay Home? JUST CURIOUS!!! BTW, You'll be Safe so Have a Great Trip!!! Mike

Thank you to all that answered. Especially magimay. It sounds like your daughters have pretty interesting lives so far. Have fun at her wedding!

I made my mom sit down and read all the replies. I think she has finally come to terms that I am going away from home.
I find people who have travelled to be far more interesting than others. Thank you again!!!

Have a great trip, check out this website:

http://www.journeywoman.com

Here is from a mother who's son went to Europe at 19.

Make sure you have worldwide health insurance coverage. Always let your parents know where you are, and how to reach you in case of emergency.

Do they have e-mail AND know how to use it? Do they have your e-mail address?

Financially - what if they need to send you money? Maybe a joint account with at least one parent is a good idea?

Of course it's safe to travel, but remember - your parents never hear from you often enough. At least it seems so :)

You don't detail your itinerary, but if it includes Paris, it may be reassuring to know that it's a relatively safe city. But .... there's a Latin side to the character of some young (and not so young) fellows here, and it is not too unlikely that you'd be wooed, verbally, if you spent a while in Paris. My wife, who ran a study abroad program in Paris in the late 1980s advised her female students to: 1) Ignore (totally) any conversational openings from guys they did not want to meet -- specifically, do not say a word -- and 2) Never smile in such situations. A smile is taken as encouragement.

Have a wonderful trip, and shame on your friends! They don't know what they're missing.

It's impossible to guarantee your safety or even predict if you will have fun without knowing you. Have you ever traveled before? Do you live alone? Do you have experience in cities or have you lived a more sheltered life? Do you enjoy your own company? Do you have enough money saved to afford reasonably safe places to sleep, transportation when you need it, a return ticket home if you want to end the trip, etc. Do you have your passport yet (just kidding!)?

25 and a college graduate is not exactly way young (many people in their late teens or even high school do what you describe).

I've traveled female solo a lot but on shorter trips and I am older. I always have a blast and never yet had a problem of any sort.

I would recommend having a plan and reservations for the first couple days minimum. Especially landing in London, it is a huge city to be winging it IMO. After a transatlantic (assuming from the US) flight it would be nice to know how to get there & where you were going to stay at least the first night.

I feel it takes MORE research ahead of time to <go wherever it takes> you, if you want to get the most out of your trip, and have it be all you want it to be.

Wandering around with no plan sounds romantic but in reality you could end up in boring places, paying more than you expected, for not so nice places to stay.

Suze is right about doing some planning at least. It doesn't mean you have to book the whole trip in advance, but do some research, have a list of possible places to stay, and which cities/towns you want to visit. The perhaps when you are getting tired of one place, you could book a few nights in your next destination. Using the internet you can book just a little in advance and so still have a lot of flexibility, but not be arriving in each city without someplace to stay.

Get a cell phone so you can stay in touch with your parents. Doesn't mean you have to use it every day, but it's nice to know you can, and it will definitly make them feel better.

There are quite a few threads on this forum about solo traveling. Do a search and you'll find lots to read. Here are a couple of threads to try:
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threadselect.jsp?fid=2
andwww.fodors.com/forums/threadselect.jsp?fid=2&tid=1370305

I think the answer is, generally, yes, you will be safe.

A lot depends on you. Have you ever been away from home before? I say this because I know some very old kids who lived at home while attending college, and still live at home, and I think they would be very nervous about travelling. If you have never been away from home, I think going to Europe for a first trip might be a bit much; in that case, my suggestion would be to take some more local trips to get a little experience before travelling to more exotic lands.

I think it's great that you want to do this - travel is the ultimate education. The only real regret I have about my younger years is that I didn't travel more before I became encumbered by all the responsibilities that modern adult life brings - have a great time!

Your question is like asking "if I go to the mall am I safe?"

Who knows? You may be and you may not be safe at any place at any time. A plane may crash into your house when you are in bed.

It is up to you to accept the challenge of traveling and accepting whatever may happen with intelligence.

You could be a ninny as far as we know. What does your family say, they should know you fairly well.

Ral04- Way up top tom_h suggested The Lonely Planet and their excellent BB called The Thorn Tree. I really want to point this out, because here on Fodors (as you notice) you are getting responses from parents and older adults responding to your question. On TT you'll be hearing from your peer group directly.

Being able to reach you by cell phone would certainly reassure your parents (yes, I'm another parent - I have two daughters working overseas). But you'll need one that works on the GSM system used in Europe, most of the world for that matter. [American posters can correct me on this, but I believe that although GSM is used by some US carriers it operates on a different frequency?] Search this forum and you'll find plenty of discussion on that subject.

Also I'd suggest buying (after in London) a prepaid phonecard that provides cheap rates for calls home from payphones and other fixed line services.

I second the recommendation to register at Lonely Planet's Thorntree forum. I think your best bet will be to use youth hostels, where you'll meet lots of other young travellers whose brains you can pick and where you can join tours, find out where the action is, etc. You can join the International Hostels Association before you leave and qualify for discounts. I think their site is www.IHHostels.com and from memory it has extensive info on member hostels all over the world. My son, who made his first overseas trip (to Japan, Korea and China) found the hostel network an invaluable way of finding his feet in a new city.

Ral04 - sorry, I had that website wrong. It's www.hihostels.com.

I'm going to bite my tongue on the entire "I'm 25 years old and have to prove to my mother that I won't get raped and murdered in Europe" idea. I think of it this way (by the way, I have 2 boys and 1 girl... they are all raised that when you graduate, you backpack Europe for the summer and then go to college... one son did this at 16). I always think my kids have a much, much smaller chance of being hurt in Europe than they do if they stay home and spend the summer driving our winding mountain roads with their friends. As far as money management - my son has a Visa debit at the same bank where I bank. If he needs money, I just transfer some into his account.

Ral04 -

IMHO the fact that you are 25 years of age and have these concerns - as well as your mention of your mother's involvement in the planning/decision - sasy to me that you have probably been extremely oversheltered up to now. Don;t you have your own apartment? Don;t you go away with your friends for the weekend or vacations? Does your mother follow you everywhere?

If so - escape! Escape now! You need to start living your own life right now - or you will never have one.

(In my experience the only way to deal with super protective parents - and I have had to helpt two firends do this - is to clearly draw a line in the sand - and then just let them deal with their unrealistic anxieties/fears/need to control on their own. Perhaps suggest therapy for them.)

ral04, I went to Europe alone for the first time last summer (I was 26) and had a great time. I had several friends that always told me that they wanted to go to Europe and bla..bla... But when I said, "Let's book the tickets today", nobody committeed to it, so I finally went by myself.

You asked, "Will I have fun? Will I be safe?" It's really up to you, what you define as "fun". Some people that I've talked to, told me that THEY would have had more fun if they travelled with someone, so that they have someone to share their experiences with. Well the truth of the matter is, I don't have anyone that would travel with me and I made the choices to go alone, because I don't want to be 35 one day, and wished that I travelled more when I was younger, and had the money, stamina, and opportunity to do that. I got lost and yelled at in Paris, had some crazy dudes whistling profanity at me in Amsterdam, and got sick for the entire 3 wks of my trip to Asia ... and I was alone the entire time. Did I still have fun? Yes. Because while I might not necessarily have someone that I could say, "Hey, do you remember that one time in Paris when we saw ..", I know that I was able to see the world through my own eyes, and that's important for me.

As far as your parents; well my mom doesn't even like the fact that I'd go out and get a take out at Wendy's after midnight, so if it were up to her -I wouldn't have seen the rocky mountains, the empire state bldg, the Eiffel tower, etc.

And for the 2nd question, you said that you were pretty smart, so you should hopefully have an awareness that travelling solo for anyone, at any age, anywhere, not just in Europe, would require extra precautions. I personally combat my worriness prior to all of my travels with planning (sometimes too much), so that at least I have an idea about the place.

Plan ahead, read as much as you can before you go, and enjoy your time off. I assure you, it would be the best time of your life, with or without a travelling companion :)

25? That isn't 15, is it? Forgive me but I'm going to be brutal, why do you think that your ADULT age is going to make any difference to anything? Or don't you consider yourself to be an adult? Get yourself a passport, a couple of guidebooks, pack your bags and go! I know 16-18 year olds who do it or have done it - perfectly safely - and have a ball.

Quite frankly, whether you have fun or whether you'll be safe is entirely up to you, my dear. And to be worrying about your parents view is...well...simply worrying, at your age.

for h2babe- what a beautifully honest, helpful and perceptive reply!

ral04- i'm afraid i agree with the camp of folks who are questioning someone 25 still needing parental approval. but more kindly, maybe you can make some new interesting friends on your trip!

Reading these last few replys, I think some of you are being a little harsh. Ral04 didn't say she needed parental approval, just that her mom would "appreciate some reassurance". Maybe accusing her of being overprotected and unable to make up her own mind is not exactly fair. I am way older than she is and I try to take my mother's worries into consideration when I travel (or do anything). Doesn't mean I don't do what I want, just that if I can help her to worry less, that's a good thing. My own children are almost approaching Ral04's age and as a mom I definitly appreciate it when I know I can get in touch with them, that they have made plans to take safety into consideration, etc.

I'll repeat what I said before, and what several other people are also saying. You should do some planning. I traveled solo last year for the first time and I defiitly felt I was safer because I knew the layout of each city I went to, I had an idea of what areas I wanted to be in and which ones to avoid, I had good maps, and I had prebooked accomodations. Your original statement that you want to "go whereever it takes me" kind of sounds like you plan to just wing it - backpack your way around. That's fine for some people, but since you are asking about being safe you might want to conisder the more conservative approach. You don't have to book the whole trip day by day in advance. But research your destinations and book the next city before you leave the previous one.

Ral,
No it is not safe to travel alone. It is also not safe to be in Times Square after dark. Also do not even THINK of crossing the street after midnight - those buses come careening out of nowhere and WHAM you're pavement butter. Thinking of flying a red eye flight? ARE YOU KIDDING? Those pilots are one sleepy blink away from disaster.

Life is full of potential catasrophes dear, but you can't shy away from a potentialy incredible experience out of fear of 'what if'. To help you decide, ask yourself this question: Five years from now what will be your overriding thought: Oh my, I'm so glad I didn't risk doing that...OR...Wow, what an incredible experience that I'll remember for the rest of my life???

If you are smart and take precautions (see above posts) you'll prolly be fine. Be careful whom you trust, keep your wallet close and always know who is around you and behind you and you'll be fine. Good luck and God bless...

Let us know how trip comes out, k?

Oh, one final piece of critical advice: Call your mother...

LOL because I use to deal with parents worrying and now it seems like I deal with grown children worrying about me.

Life is strange. But I make sure now if I am going out of town I let one of them know - and if going for more then a couple of days I let them all know. Otherwise they call, leave a message, they don't hear back from me, then they start worrying.

But it sure beats not having anyone care about you! ((*))

There's a big diffreence between being considerate to those who care about you and catreing to overprotectors.

My mom is in her 80's - and I'm - well approaching the big 50 - but she has a thing about flying and when I go to europe I always call her to say I've arrived safely. But this is a lot different that discussing with her whether or not I should be going - which I definitely didn;t do the first time I went to euope at 19 - never mind at 25.

While it's true most parents worry always, I don't believe it should influence what we decide to do. And I am lucky to have a Mom who is a silent worrier.

My example, recently I visited Hawaii for the first time. When I returned she said "I don't know why but I didn't worry about you like when you go to Mexico." Mind you, she had never said a WORD about her concerns and I had vacationed in Mexico 16 different trips!!

I'm getting that sneaking "trolled" feeling again. Clues: the style and tone are similar, certain spelling suggests the poster is Canadian, awkward and inappropriate use of English, spelling error ... and strange, not to say dopey, questions. I think it's all starting to add up.

Ah, tell me Ral04. In October 25, 2003 you were going to go to Europe in 2004 with a girlfriend as a graduation from college celebration. But you said your boyfriend was very worried about your safety.

How did your trip to Europe in 2004 go? Did you have any problems? And how is the worried boyfriend?

My 18 year old daughter backpacked through Europe alone for four months between high school and college and the worst thing that happened to her was her retainer fell through a drain in a Paris bathroom. She met lots of people on her travels and had the very best time of her life up to that point. She was glad she had her first destination set up in advance (Paris hostel) because she hadn't counted on being so tired when she first arrived. After that, she winged it, really getting into the flow of European life, meeting people from all over the world. This trip formed the basis of her essay when she later applied to medical schools.
"A ship in harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."
Go and have fun!! You'll never forget it.

Sheesh, have we been had??????

Think so hightide.

Oh well, everyone had a nice chat with each other.

It will be interesting to see if Ral04 comes back to post.

dang - oh well, you're right LoveItaly, was a nice chat - back to bad re-runs on TV and perusing Italy info!!!!

Still stand by my advice: no crossing streets after midnight - those buses come out of NOWHERE...I hate that...

hehe

Good to see that LoveItaly's troll radar is working. My batteries must have been flat.

Ral04, I forgot to mention that I did manage to call my mom twice when I was in Europe. I also wrote emails to her and a few friends, and my mom, proudly, forwarded my emails to our relatives :) Everyone was happy at the end.

In Paris one summer, a girl, attractive enough that she got my attention, got on the Metro and sat across the aisle from us. Without hesitation she sat next to a young man. Much to my amazement, he did not start "hitting on her."

Can you see that scene in the US? Two young adults, both nice looking, not even speaking? I was surprised.

The young lady went to the Musee d'Orsay walking ahead of us directly to the entrance. We glimpsed her several times in the museum taking notes, obviously studying an assignment.

The point is this: If you go about your business in a straight forward manner, you will be OK.

Now in Italy, as a single girl, you will get attention. Che bella being the standard greeting. But in Austria and Switzerland, you can go on about your tour.

Our attractive Italian friend who was single for a long time drew her share of "Che bellas" during her first 40 years, but she said she never felt threatened. I will leave that one to your judgment.

Of course, you know as well as I that safety is often a function of where you go. But compared to the average bar in a college town, I think you will be safer in most places in Europe. So if you went to the average party school university, you know what I mean!!
(I live in a college town where there are more watering holes "up town" than there are anything else, except lawyer offices!! I think it is a tie between lawyers and bars.)

As said earlier, I would not go wandering the streets at 2 am. Even as a single male, I would not go wandering through Bois de Boulogne at 2 am to see the signts. I don't think I need to explain that one.

Oh dear, I DO believe you guys are correct that we have been trolled again! And here I was feeling a little bad for my own comments, making fun of a 25 year old person for being so immature and insecure.

Wellllll...No Ral04 in sight, imagine that. Seems like they scurry and run when exposed to the light of day, huh? (Kinda like cockroaches????) Oh well...