Feeling Guilty About Trip?
 

I know the economy is circling the drain and today in the travel section of our paper was an article about the concept of naycations. Thats like the staycation, where you vacation at home, but this, you just don't do anything!

I truly believe this life is not a dress rehersal and no one knows what tomorrow will bring, yada, yada...But I REALLY hold those truths to be the real thing, so I'm planning trips!

We found a repositioning cruise that begins in London and then spends 2 full days in Amsterdam and drops us off in Oslo. Wow, that's a trip we've never taken, and Amsterdam & Oslo are 2 places we want to see. With an inside cabin and ff miles this trip is beyond cheap. We'll have to pop for hotel rooms for a night in London and 2 nights in Oslo. And in London I'll use Priceline.

So why do I feel so guilty telling family & friends we're going? We aren't doing any better or worse then everyone we know, and I'm not spending a cent on anything that we don't really need right now. But I think when a deal like this presents itself, I've got to jump on it. Hopefully, I'm still going to be here in May (that's when the trip is)and whatever the economy, my life is going to go on. Right? I wish I didn't feel like this, but I do. Anyone else having these guilt feelings about planning trips?

I've felt guilty about every trip I've taken. I doubt if our two children will ever get to go abroad-they have young families and don't make that kind of money. They didn't go after finishing college, backpacking as many do. On the other hand, I'm very frugal and always plan my spending in terms of how much a trip costs as opposed to a new car, haircare, movies, etc. We try not to mantion our plans except to a few good friens who also have the travel bug. Go and enjoy!

No guilt-and I travel to Europe 3 times per year. I think most everyone has a love of something they spend their money on. Mine happens to be traveling and my husband's weakness is cars and motorcycles and tractors.

Nope, I have never felt guilty about a trip. But I'm self supporting with a small extended family and no dependents of my own. I'm not sure why you're feeling bad ;-)

Yes I am feeling very guilty and somewhat fearful about our upcoming trip to Spain - given the economy. That said I booked the flights several months ago and we will be meeting up with our daugter who has been studying abroad. I am telling almost no one about the trip except for a few close friends. At least at the moment the dollar has been stronger than it was. Let's hope it holds until the end of January when we travel.

Have a great trip and enjoy - travel feeds the soul.

The President and leading economists are begging those who can safely spend, to do so. The worst thing would be for everyone to pull in their spending. The economy would collapse. The $600B>>$800B>>$1Trillion stimulus package is designed to compensate for those who are afraid to spend (perhaps for good reason). You are being downright patriotic.

Regards, Gary

Gary

Another reason to travel-we are helping the economy! I am flying on American owned planes.

I feel the same way. I've taken a trip every fall since 2005, all of them abroad except one. I didn't used to feel guilty. I'm a single female in my 30's with the lowest income among my girlfriends. I have a travel fund I consistently contribute to and my trips are paid for before I go - it doesn't go on credit.

I can't count the number of times my friends have planned a group trip only to back out once it becomes clear I'm the only one who has saved any money. It's happened again and so I'm thinking about putting my savings toward my first solo trip. I found a great deal on a flight to Spain. I don't want to tell anyone and even have this notion of saying I'm going out of town on a work trip and go without anyone having an idea.

Maybe it's not guilt so much as not wanting to have to answer all the questions I'm sure to get from both family and friends. Even my coworkers have made cracks about how I could afford my most recent trip. And now there'll be all the questions about why I'm flying solo this time.

To me, life is short. I want to explore as much of this world as I can, and who knows how long I'll be able to. As long as I can afford to travel without causing too much budgeting stress, I will.

I know what you mean.
Sometimes I feel guilty because of family "pressure" - we travel approximately twice per year to see our parents, but every time we go on a bigger trip (usually every other year) we feel like we should be going to see them instead. In fact my dad (who hasn't taken the one hour flight to visit me in over 12 years) has even said so - "you seem to find the money and time to go to Europe but not to come and see us".

But I REALLY feel guilty about this next trip - I am going to England in less than three weeks, without my husband. I went less than a year ago to London. And I'm currently unemployed (although that will change in late Feb I believe). I have spent the extra money to bump up my points so I can go business class and I've got a good PL rate for a 5* in Mayfair... so I'm not even going cheaply, and it's not the best time for us economically. But I have had a miserable, stressful year, and I have to have a little surgery in February/March, and I NEED this getaway desperately. Luckily my husband is supportive. However, my guilt is weighing so heavily on me that I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my parents and sister that I am going...

Unless you are expecting someone else to support you how you spend your money is your business and not anyone elses zwho. That has always been my thinking and it will continue to be my thinking. I don't critique and worry about how others spend their money and don't worry about what they think about my financial decisions. Go and enjoy!

Zwho: I just have to add my two cents to this discussion. I agree with other posters that it is your business how you spend your money.'

But think, also, about how much you learn on a trip to another country, about how you are adding to your own knowledge about other cultures and people, and how that experience can result in change and growth in you, which in turn can help others in your family and your circle of friends.

Sounds like a downright mandate to me, for personal growth.

I see that happening to fodorites all the time, just by reading their travel inquiries and their incredible travel reports.

I'm older, and want to keep traveling. We haven't done much since last Christmas in Oaxaca, and I hope to go to California in February and Italy in September.

We haven't got much money left at the moment, and income is down, but going on the cheap is an option we can use, and it can be fun. If you can manage business class, go for it. That's what I'd do, and hope to do again.

Keep on traveling and keep on learning and growing.

You guys are making me feel a little better. Atleast I know I'm not alone. I have stated on this board that I am a Fodors addict, which means I'm also a travel fanatic. I love it, and it's what I would rather do over anything except maybe spending time with my kids. I even get s#$% from them about it. I said I'm saving so next year I can take everyone to Spain for a trip and my newly married, financially strapped son says, " why don't you just give us what you would spend taking us on your trip". No way! Let them quit smoking and buying Big Gulps everyday! I'm saving to take them with me!

Each one decides what is of value worth spending money. The value of trips increased significantly for me after a health scare. After spending two years not knowing if I could travel again, every chance to travel abroad is a not-to-be-missed opportunity.

I have a colleague at work thinking about postponing his first trip to Italy this year due to the economic uncertainty. He has not had a health scare, so the value of ability to travel physically remains out of this mind.

When I hear one thing old people regretted was not having taken more risks when they were young, I know I am on the right track.

I'm with LI; if you meet your responsibilities and aren't expecting others to foot the bill, it's no one else's business.

Taggie, I'm surprised your father doesn't know the planes fly in both directions, something worth reminding him when he complains you visit Europe instead!

We have friends who take incredible trips every year--they're off to Egypt and Africa for a month right now; they've been to Antarctica, Easter Island, Russia, Panama Canal, Alaska, Korea/Asia, South America--not even getting into European travels. They work hard as MDs, but they value travel and time off more than just about anything. Some of their trips are as ship docs (adventure cruises, not the big ships), so they work their way, but otherwise they use miles, and then earn the dough for the rest.

I'm sure people wonder and make comments about their trips, but I've seen first hand how frugal they are--she buys her clothes at thrift shops (she can get away with it, working in a very casual chemical dependency clinic), they saved enough to install solar and get off the grid, they grow some of their food -- they live well but as frugally as anyone I've known. They highly value their travel, and they subordinate other expenditures to support it, without guilt.

When I had the guilt factor was when we went on a long overdue and much needed vacation (we are both in health care and get little time off) and arrived at our respite place, Lake Como, only to watch in horror as Hurricane Katrina unfolded--on the news, in the papers, etc. It was horrible to think about what people were going through. We sent money to Red Cross and tried to have as restorative a trip as possible (also it was going to be our last one until this last September!), knowing we would be back in the trenches in a couple of short weeks.

LoveItaly said it best. I don't justify my spending to anyone. When "they" (whoever they are) pay my bills, they get to have a say in what I spend.

I live in a tourist destination & daily I see frail, doddering elderly people going on their "trip of a lifetime". The trouble is, they would have enjoyed it so much more when they were 20 years younger & healthier.

What exactly is it you're feeling guilty about? The spending or the visibility of the consumption?

If you're spending within your means, that's nobody's business but yours. If you're spending what other people might have a legitimate claim on, that's rather different, but I doubt if that applies to many people.

If you're just worried about being seen to find a way to enjoy yourself when others can't, that's more complicated. But as long as you're not swanking about it every five minutes, it really shouldn't be anything to feel guilty about.

Sitting at home doing b-all so you can feel superior in your misery, on the other hand, ought to be something to feel guilty about at the best of times, and especially now. But that sort of self-righteousness is sadly impervious.

We travel frequently to Europe, for vacation. It's something I can't seem to give up. We find low airfares usually or use FF miles. In France we'll stay in gites, and find B&B's in other locations. We're leaving for Ireland in mid January with very low priced tickets ($360 round trip). Still, I feel guilty, but that won't stop my addiction!

I'm trying to include our family in our travels, instead of them feeling left out. They know they can join us if possible. We've decided to bring each one of our grandchildren on a trip once. I want them to experience new cultures and find that they'll be able to do this on their own someday! We took our first grandson to France and Italy this past spring and it went very well!

In September his Mother wants to go with us. She has 3 children but her husband will pitch in more, and her in-laws will also help. All the kids are in school now so it's easier to leave them for 2 weeks, but we also took a short trip together when she had preschoolers. If it's important, there is a way to overcome the obstacles.

We felt SO guilty telling people we were going to Paris for Christmas/NYE. Even my 15 year old mentioned she felt it when telling her friends. I do understand what you mean. It was hard to try to explain we had a 5,000 credit on Airfrance that had to be used or lost by 1-2-09 - that the apartment had been paid for since last Feb. That our son's friend was paying his own way to get there... So I do understand.

We generally use miles, stay for free from points on Amex or Marriott ect and travel is a high priority.

Go and enjoy yourself.

More than guilt it's a tinge of discomfort.
If we view our trips as an investment in global relations and world diplomacy, maybe it becomes easier.

I don't see any reason to feel guilty because you can afford to take a trip. There are always people who can't afford to take a trip--at this moment in time there are more than there were a couple of years ago. I certainly wouldn't flaunt it in front of someone who can't afford a trip, but there's no more reason to feel guilty about traveling than there is about eating when there are people who don't get enough to eat around the world.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't feel compassion for those who don't have as much as you do, or that you shouldn't be sensitive to their feelings. But guilty? No way.

I feel no guilt. I've been taking overseas trips, annually, since 1973, back in my freshman-university days, and this isn't the first recession that I've lived through.

Bottom line, life is short and tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. And I'm not totally planning my life around a recession if I don't have to.

So, my philosophy is that if one can budget in a trip without going without food, housing, and taking care of one's other financial obligations, then take the trip. Personally, I just came back from Buenos Aires a week ago. Instead of my normal 3-week vacation, at this time of the year, I took an 8-day vacation. But, it sure the heck was better than staying at home. I had a ball.

If it's going to be a financial strain, however, then don't take it.

And for those who are trying to dump guilt onto you, just ignore them. They're probably jealous and misery loves company.

My friends travel like I do, so we have no guilt when it comes to travel. We've, of course, had to cut back on our travel expenses like less shopping and sometimes a step or two down in accommodations, but we stayed in "flea bag" hotels all through our university years and most of our 20s and 30s anyhow. So, we can readopt. Smiles. So, go and have fun! Happy Travels!

Also, these people who try to dump guilt on those who travel have a lot of nerve.

I know folks who say that they wish they could travel, but don't have the money. Well, maybe it's because of the car payment on the BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, etc. Or because they spend all of their money running to Vegas every other month.

I just got a new car, a year ago, after 17 years of driving my old car. I bought a $21,000 car and paid cash and expect to keep it for at least 15 years. A car is a necessity here in L.A., but a super expensive one is not. But, to each his own. I don't down anyone for what he/she purchases, or how he/she spends his/her hard-earned money, as we all have different interests. Happy Travels!

Dancingqueen, if you do not mind a (very) unsolicited opinion :), please try to feel that you deserve this wonderful opportunity to share Spain with your daughter. You have nothing to feel guilty about! I felt sad when I read your post. My "little one" lives 3,000 miles away and the trip we took to Italy with him after college graduation continues to be such a treasured memory.

Zwho is completely correct about yada yada yada :) and there are some things that should not be foregone or regretted or apologized for! Your trip is one of those things. Please do not waste one iota of the enjoyment that you and DD deserve. Buen viaje! I hope you like paella and Spanish tortilla is amazingly delicious, considering what a simple dish it is.

If you've got the time and money I don't see why you care what anyone else thinks. Honestly this is one of those life choices that is truly no ones business other than your own.

For lifeofmytimes, if you start traveling solo on a regular basis people get used to the idea (trust me on this one). But I would not sneak out of town, it's good for someone to know where you are when you're traveling abroad & on your own.

Realize that most non-traveling people just do not get the importance of traveling (as far as opinions of others). It's one of those things in life either you got the travel bug or you don't. I don't know why people want fancy cars, homes, furniture, clothes. They don't get why I'd spend my money to go traveling. I'm lucky in coming from a family of "gypsies" where everyone's always moved around a lot and traveled regularly, so they don't find it weird. They'd more be worried if I hadn't taken a big trip in a while!

suze

My son is going to buy me a tracking GPS so that he can follow my solo travels. He worries about me being alone. Many people do not understand the "solo" travel idea. I am just happy to travel alone or with others.

zwho
Where did you find such a neat cruise? Sounds great!

The very people who will make a remark are those that don't like to travel, or are afraid to leave home, or spend their money on other things.

If they don't understand the extreme joy you find in traveling, then there is no explaining it to them. If you find bargains and watch what you spend while traveling in Europe it isn't that expensive. I just wish that I had started traveling a lot sooner than I did.

Go and enjoy your trip and come home planning the next one.

We are having similar thoughts...should we spend the money and go or not? My rationalization is that 2009 is our 50th anniversary and we are still healthy & can get around easily. This is a special trip and I think we should treat ourselves. I don't want to delay and then realize years later that we should have gone when we had the opportunity. I'd rather spend it on us than leave it to an heir. We are generally careful with our expenditures so it's not as if we're tossing money to the wind. I just wish I could get air for less that $2k!

NO ONE is making me feel guilty. It's in my head. I know I'm lucky and don't want to flaunt my luck, or make someone feel badly or even worse, jealous. I'm good at finding deals and travel is so important to me. I'm probably transferring my feelings onto my friends, when they could care less! I'm like that with stuff they spend their $$ on that isn't important to me. The cruise I found is on Royal Carribbean.

Do not feel guilty!!!!

I am a very frugal person. I don't like jewelry all that much, I don't want a fancy car or fur coat, I am not a big spender. BUT, I love to go places and see new things. I really love to travel and would like to do more of it.
We have traveled many places on points for air tickets and points for hotels. My DH is not as much of a travel buff as I am, but has loved all of our trips.

I am concerned about the times. My DH's good friend at work was just let go. So, it does scare me what tomorrow will bring. Since DH had a heart attack this year, I haven't planned any trips. I am hoping to plan something for the summer. It is hard to not be planning like crazy. It is what I dream about. :)

Anyway, I say go for it and don't look back. Other people live beyond their means every day and are jealous of your travels. They just don't understand the need to see new things or lay on a beach once in awhile! I think it is a very important part of life.

I do not feel guilty about traveling. We all make choices of how to spend our money, and my husband and I choose to be very selective and careful about spending money. Our income, thank goodness, has not gone down, so we are not having to cut back.

This year we will have our 40th wedding anniversary and I want to be on a trip to celebrate the occasion. We need to make some decisions soon on where to go. I need to have a hip replacement and I'm thinking we will go on a trip first even though I won't be able to do everything. I will need some down time during the trip because of pain, but we will just move slower and not do marathon days. I find that a break now and then with a nice glass of wine can help relieve pain. When I do have the replacement, my traveling will stop for a while, but I will just have to deal with that.

So we are going to travel while we can and not care what other people think.

Susan, I know this is OT, but why not have the hip replacement first, and then travel? The recuperation time is not that long and you'll be so much better for it. I know 3 people who've had them done in the last couple of years, and they all say they should have done it sooner. P.s. My BIL, who had the procedure last year, traveled to Russia and Turkey this year.

Life is short. My mom passed away when she was fairly young, and although I certainly HOPE to live a long life, that isn't guaranteed. I hate it when I hear people say that they will travel "someday," "when the kids are older," or "after we retire." Unfortunately, no one is guaranteed a "someday."

I'm going NOW! Having said that, I do feel guilty sometimes, but I shouldn't.

Zwho - I also read that article about the naycation and I was so disgusted by the idea that I emailed the writer to tell him that people still want to travel and he should not focus on the negative. He responded very nicely saying he'd write something positive next time.

Now, I posted a question similar to yours a few weeks ago and the overwhelming response was to GO to hell with feeling guilty or anything else. If you still can't manage it, you could always tell people you won a sweepstakes prize! :)

Sorry, I just assumed you were catching 'attitude' from family and friends when you posted... "So why do I feel so guilty telling family & friends we're going?" I didn't realize that they weren't saying anything negative, that you were making it all up (lol).

Life is too short...GO! It's only money.

Go while you can still walk.

I don't feel guilty. I love to travel. It's my passion. I don't live extravagantly because I'd rather spend my money traveling. I don't need to justify to anyone what I spend my money on.

Is the economy bad? Sure. But I'm not going to be so scared that I stop doing the one thing I love to do.

I still save for retirement. I have emergency savings. I have long term savings. I'm not in debt except for my mortgage. I put aside money in my trip fund and when I've saved enough money I go.

Susan33-please consider going after the hip replacement. My dad had hip replacements and although he gets around slower, he said the relief from the pain was incredible. You might enjoy the trip more, pain free albeit slower.

I don't feel guilty about traveling, either. Even my husband, who can be quite frugal, and is a bit freaked out by the paper loss of our stocks, has no qualms about us paying to take 3 family vacations next year.

We can only travel with our teenagers now - they won't be teenagers in 10 years. Some of our best times as a family have been on our vacations.

My friends and family are used to hearing about us going away, so no one really makes comments. But, truthfully, it wouldn't bother me at all if they did.

My sentiments are that you travel while you can. We've been to France and Italy 5 times since 2003, and although we have had to cancel our much anticipated trip this August/September to France(the economy), we'll plan for next year. Since we're basically retired,we've taken a big hit with the market. If I could go, I would, but, unfortunately, reality is, what it is. Hopefully, next year, we're going for it. I'd give up almost anything else, to travel. I think most on this board feel the same. As for other people, and what they say, let them keep guessing how you do it, it's none of their business anyway, unless of course, they're paying for it. I wish, we had travelled more, certainly not less!! Have a great trip!!

My only guilt is regarding the limited resources I am using. But I don't use very many at home, where I spent the majority of my time.

I think it's a good idea not to broadcast trips or other extravagant expenditures when in the company of others who could never afford whatever it is you are talking about.

Happy guilt-free travels to you all.