I agree with Liz2005. And to ensure that you will be paying, either you or your husband should get the waiter/waitress on the side and tell them to make sure the check comes to you.

Is this just a food thing, or do they also control all destination, hotel, sightseeing and timing issues as well? If they feel they have the right to make absolutely every single decision on the trip because they are footing the bill, then I think you are very patient to spend even one week every two years with them!! Being treated like a five year old at a restaurant would not go over well with most adults. The look on my face would speak a thousand words:)

If this is just about food, I would tell them that you and your husband are paying for the meals. If your inlaws decide not to eat for a meal, don't worry, it won't last. VERY few people voluntarily starve themselves for any length of time. They will cave in and eat eventually.

And repeated comments about someone's weight are impolite. Period.

Maddie, apart from the fondue, order raclette; available everywhere in the French Alps, and it's usually all-you can eat. You get a plate of potatoes, charcuterie, and melted raclette cheese. If you leave the charcuterie to your in-laws it's even vegetarian.

nytraveler and I posted at the same time. What a hot topic....

I think it is gross to go on a travel with 2 old nuts who sipmly torturing you and when you object throwing a fits by not ordering anything.
I think if you are going for freebie trip and do not mind embarrasement - do not complain and split your french plate 5 ways (why 5? anyway - isn't it 4 of you or they inviting people from street?)

I am with ira
Assuming that this is not just a troll"

What makes you think this is a troll?

ALL ABOVE and trolls DO post long stories, search if you care,W.

What a brain teaser post! Or wait - maybe they got married at 14 and they are still teenagers? It is certaintly sounds like this.

Have you tried laxatives?
No not for you but for them, sneak a few in their drinks a few hours before dinner and whey hey !! Dinner alone.

;-)

Muck

If they are paying, order what you want. If they don't like it, they won't invite you again. But (as we say in France), tune your violin with your husband before sparks fly.

I'm with Ira. Don't go. I had one of these trips with the inlaws. It's an insult to me to be told what I should or how much I should eat. I'm an adult, I can take care of myself.

If this means that much to your DH, then have him go with them. This is the way we do it. A free trip is not worth all the stress and drama. At least it's not for me. As a matter of fact, DH is in Cape Cod with his parents this week. I have never been there and would have love to have gone but again, it's not worth it when I have someone marking every step I take.

I think you have a good attitude about it Maddie, it's only a week. It's not just food, it's a whole family dynamic. This is time your husband gets to spend with his parents and I wouldn't stop going. Most people only have a couple of weeks of vacation per year. Heck, it's a great thing that you get to see Europe AND get the in-law visit out of the way. It could be worse, imagine if they lived in some small town in the Arizona desert with only a Circle K as an escape.
It did sound as though they had some issues, "they think we are gluttonous free-spenders who are being taken advantage..." There are members of my family who can be like this and I simply start off these conversations by asking investment advice.
Sometimes a good relationship requires a little butt kissing. I like to get along and I found out that sometimes it's just doesn't create happiness down the road to stop doing something like this.
I remember the year I called a moratorium on Christmas. Whew!

I don't think Maddie sounds at all like a troll. She sounds like a woman who needed to blow off some steam. And provided us with an interesting thread.

Could you maybe head them to more casual places? Rather than a "prime table in a French restaurant"...

Try to find some more "Mom & Pop" type cafes? Or even some picnic meals like sandwiches from a bakery? Street fairs where food is sold are always fun. Open air farmer's markets when some hot food stands have offerings. Like that.

You might be able to branch out more without having to make a big stink about it.

I just spent an uncomfortable weekend with the inlaws when I thought I was having a romantic weekend with DH. I'm so glad I found this thread. I still feel like a bitch for the way I feel about my inlaws but I don't feel alone!!!

amwosu, you are not alone, and don't feel bad!!! I only visit the in-laws on special occasions (big anniversaries, family weddings, etc.) My SIL used to go more often. This summer, the climax of her "why I'm not going to visit the in-laws anymore" story involved being told not to order her own food because the portions were large and she could share with her daughter.

Maddie,
This story is a potential classic. I suggest that you write a screen script. I would like to see the movie.

"Gaining points with the DH" is what disturbs me, I would dump him if that is the case.

>>I just spent an uncomfortable weekend with the inlaws when I thought I was having a romantic weekend with DH. I'm so glad I found this thread. <<

Amwosu, I think this deserves its own thread! :-)

Lee Ann

Pardon the expression but...

Tell your husband to "sack" up and deal with his parents.

From your post, Maddie, it sounds more like it's about control and less about money. Frugal is one thing - controlling and cheap is quite another. Of course, it's easy to go along with things sometimes, but here, you (and really - your husband) should stand up. Your in-laws are not treating you like adults. Your husband isn't standing up for himself or for you. Sure, as they're his parents, he should be the first one to try to explain to them that while you appreciate their hospitality, your dining habits work just fine for you, and that you prefer to order what you please, and accordingly, you'll pay for the meals. If he refuses or backs down, then, yeah, it's time for you to take one for the team. I'd give it a couple of patient explanations, but if his parents insisted after a rational and compassionate discussion, I'd simply refuse to keep going on trips with them.

No offense, but by just going along with it, and continuing to cherish these really awkward vacations with his parents, your husband is only reinforcing and supporting their treatment of you two. I know it's difficult, but you may have to be pretty direct about this. It's too passive-aggressive just to order fondue for a whole week.

Good luck!

"I don't know what a troll is, but after reading this I can't believe it is real." My take exactly. This kind of forum is a magnet for wannabe satirists. Either that, or the op's got personal issues that no travel forum can begin to resolve.

Maddie, I don't think your a troll, I and many others have to adjust to others especially in our families.Food is really one of the most enjoyable things especially when traveling,if you can't deal with hurting them ,pick up the tab,let them know how grateful you are,and picking up a few tabs would make you feel wonderful.The other possibility is to go with your husband alone have a nice meal meet them later and split everthing.I hope during these trips your not committed to them 24-7 ? Good luck and I think your really sweet and considerate.Good luck,

What do you all mean by"troll"?