jsmith, my boyfriend has nothing to do with the trip. He's not going and never had any intention of going. I provided my ex with an itinterary, copies of the tickets, the phone numbers of the places that we're staying, a letter from my mother.

I've never, ever denied a request by my ex to see my daughter, nor have I ever threatened to take her away. He has no reason at all to believe that I would flee the country out of the blue, to live in a place that I've never been to. I have a job that I've had for five years, my own small buisness, a house. I'm firmly rooted. I find the whole idea ridiculous.

Even if my boyfriend was going on the trip, I still think it's ridiculous. If I end up marrying this guy we will be making trips to visit his family. Yeah, that's going to go over well! LOL!!

I can understand that he would have some concerns about the trip. I would too. But I believe that he also has a right to travel with his daughter and unless there was some reason for me to believe he had some ill intention (i.e. quitting his job, selling his house, not bringing daughter back after visits) I wouldn't deny him that right. I have bent over backwards to try to make him comfortable with it. And he still says that he doesn't trust me when he has no reason not to.

I also believe that this is a good opportuinity for my daughter. I want her to be exposed to different cultures, languages, art, and she's excited about it too! :)

Eeek...what an uncomfortable situation.
My DH does not have the best relationship with his ex, but she did not stand in the way of us taking the2 daugthers (my stepdauthers), mostly because they were so excited about the trip they would have annoyed here to death if they could not have gone.

With regards to the notarized letter...we had one with us signed by the ex and were NEVER asked to show it either leaving the US to fly to Italy, or when entering Italy. I think if you are travelling as man/women & child, they just assume both are the parents.

It sounds like your father and daugther (and you!) are going to have a great time! Enjoy...and good luck working out this other stuff beforehand.

Good luck, Redhead.

For what it's worth: my parents were traveling with my niece to Mexico. They had a notarized letter from her mom, who has custody. The airline wouldn't let them board without a letter from her dad, who is non-custodial. Better safe than sorry.

When we booked a Disney cruise earlier in the year, my travel agent advised me to get a notarized letter from my ex-husband granting permission for me to take my son out of the country. When all tickets arrived, there was an official form included to allow such authorization. I went ahead and had my ex complete it and I'm glad that I did as they did ask for it. I can't imagine how upset my son would have been if we found at that moment that we couldn't go because I didn't have the proper authorization. On a previous trip to England, I didn't have one, and they never asked but just in case, I always will in the future. Good luck to you and have a fabulous vacation with your family!

BlueSwimmer, that's awful. I really don't want to get into that kind of situation. I guess they would have needed documents saying that the mother was the sole custodian? In that case she wouldn't need his permission for anything.

Ugh! It just drives me nuts that these days it's pretty much assumed that you're up to something devious unless you can prove otherwise. I mean, I know why, but damn, how many hoops do you have to jump through just to go on vacation?? *sigh*

Hi redhead, I think this started when the story entitled something like "Not Without My Daughter" came out years ago. Believe (someone correct me if I am wrong) the movie was played by Sally Fields.

An American woman married a man from Iran. They married and had a daughter. The husband took the daughter to Iran to visit his family but refused to return to the US.

It seems to me that is when the publicity came out regarding one parent leaving the US without any intention of returning the child to the US.

We all pay one way or another for the few that do illegal things. That is why security is so stringent (but maybe not efficient) at airports. After April 14th no lighters or matches will be allowed on planes. Evidently because of the British citizen who had matches and tried to make a bomb out of his atheletic shoes on a flight.

We pay more for goods in stores due to shoplifters and employee thefts etc.

We pay more then we should in insurance premiums because of
insurance fraud.

And IMHO some (not all of course) exspouses have a control issue. Even if they were the major factor in a divorce they still want to control their exspouse.

All one can do is follow the law, in your case somehow getting that notorized letter from you ex by whatever legal means you can and then just go about your business and with your plans. Again I wish you the best of luck.

LoveItaly, you are right about the movie and Sally Fields playing the lead. That was a wonderful film, and the book was even better. It is a shame that things can become so difficult with travel, but in this day and age I can also see why.

I am an American living In London with four children. I have travelled in and out of the US many times with kids but without my husband. I have also flown around Europe with the kids sans husband.

Only one time have I been asked about my husband and that was coming INTo the US. The kids have been asked at check in once or twice "does your dad know you're flying today?" Kids say yes, day goes on.

Is there something in her passport that "marks" your daughter as a child of divorced parents? I agree that it doesn;t hurt to be safe, but I've never had any trouble.

Hi Statia, I found the book fantastic too, but what a scary story, especially knowing it was true.

Thanks for the verification that it was Sally Fields. Do you ever feel like your brain has so many facts that sometimes it just shuts down?

LoveItaly says: "Do you ever feel like your brain has so many facts that sometimes it just shuts down?"

All the time my dear, all the time.

Hihgledge, I'm not sure that there's anything "marking" my daughter as a child of divorced parents. I don't know if there is such a thing. But my ex said in mediation that he had put a "hold" on it years ago though, meaning that I wouldn't get it because he told them not to issue it. But it turned out to be a lie as I got the passport in four days with the expedited service.

I'm going to do my best to get the letter anyway. I won't feel good traveling without it knowing I might get asked for it. What a headache.

I'm sorry for your troubles and I hope everything works out for you.

I took my 9 yr old daughter to Italy last year and no one asked for a letter. I'm really glad because I never even thought about getting one! My husband had to sign a form for her to get the passport so it never occurred to me that I might also need a letter.

I do remember boarding a flight to Cancun, Mexico and a mom/teen aged daughter weren't allowed to board without the ex's permission. She had the divorce decree showing she had full custody but that wasn't enough.

Thanks for bring this to attention of everyone and good luck.

Hi sundowner, from what I have read and learned Mexico is one of the countries that insist in every case that the single parent has a notorized letter from the other parent giving permission for travelling into Mexico. Some other countries also in Central and South America.

But I cannot remember which ones.

See, seetheworld, a brain drain again! Thanks for making me feel better. LOL!

From what I understand when travelling with a child into western Europe you may or may not be asked for the letter.
It seems as though the countries that have had a problem with a parent taking their child into their home country without permission of the other parent are the countries that you can expect to be asked to produce the notorized letter.

But, any country does have the right to. And evidently airlines do also. It is up to the airline to make sure all documents are in order before they allow you to board.

So I would not want to take the chance of being at the airport and have the problem of being refused boarding a plane for lack of this letter.

Yes, sundowner, why would you think that you needed a letter in addition to a passport? Afterall the person you need the letter from had to give consent to get the passport. I don't think it's widely known that this letter is needed. The airline certainly isn't telling people that they need it. And it's barely mentioned on the State Department website and not mentioned at all in the passport application. I don't think I would have known about it if I hadn't had the trouble I've had getting the passport because I wouldn't have been looking up info on the web.

Hi redhead, one question (although it is of course none of my business) but I can't help but wonder.

At least in California most divorce agreements and children issues state in the final divorce agreement that the parent has to have a notorized letter from the other parent to take the child even out of the state they are residing in.

Now perhaps that is not true in other states. But I couldn't help but wonder if your final divorce papers spell this out.

I notice that no-one has tried to answer your original question. 24 hours - and lots of answers to quite different questions - later, no-one has surfaced to say they've been asked by a European country to demonstate an arriving foreign child's freedom to travel.

From which we might safely conclude that no European country has such a rule.

But, if you're still worried and you're planning only to travel to Spain, wouldn't it be (and wouldn't it have been) more productive simply to telephone your nearest Spanish embassy or consulate? Or, if they're closed, to consult their website?

Put me down as another single parent who has never been asked for such a letter, though we haven't been to Spain. I travel with my late husband's death certificate (and the kids' birth certificates to connect it all) just in case.

Looking at my kids' passports (issued in early 2001), I see no evidence of parental marital status, etc. In fact, there's not even a complete address, just our state.

If I were in your shoes, and couldn't get the letter, I'd go anyway. If questioned, I'd just tell the airline that this nice older gentleman I'm traveling with is her dad (but get your stories straight first).

LoveItaly, no we don't have anything in our agreement about taking her out of the state. We were divorced before this law came into effect about having to have both parents consent for traveling out of the country. And actually our agreement states that as the primary custodian *I* get to make decisions involving travel and if ex doesn't like my decision than he can take me to court over it. But getting him to sign something or provide a letter that he doesn't want to, isn't so easy and I've had to face the possiblity of taking him to court over it. Luckily it hasn't come to that. Yet.

Flanneruk, the US State Department website states that you "may need" a letter to enter Spain. I've tried emailing the Spanish consulate and no one ever responded. I tried calling them (in Miami) once at two different numbers I found on the web and there was no answer. I don't know why. I've looked at a few different Spanish government sites and can't find any info about it.