Do people ask about your trip only to talk about theirs?
 

This is bugging me. We just got back from a two week trip to Europe. A fabulous trip to Ireland and Paris. So many people say "and how was your trip?" only to go on and on about their trip to Paris five years ago after you give them a two minute report. It is so aggravating. Or they on about their next trip and all of their plans. Why do they even ask...I know, I know, so they can talk about themselves, which is so much more interesting, right? UGH!

haha I'm guilty of this! It's why I joined these forums so I could talk based on my experiences and actually help people instead of piss them off ;) but yes, I notice this a lot... I think it's human (frail) nature to want to talk about oneself and connect things to what they themselves experienced. be patient -- and when they come back from their trip, do it to them!

well, you want to talk about yourself, don't you? I think it triggers memories that they enjoy reliving and they like the place so enjoy talking about it.

It sounds like you don't like these people very much, you are saying not very nice things about them. So, avoid these people and find other people you like, I'd say, instead of complaining about your lack of audience.

I think people mean well, but they get reminded of their own trip and it can bring back memories. I try not to do this, but sometimes its hard not too, especially when you can relate to something the other person is saying about a place that you had already been. I understand your point though, and always try to be mindful and not overtake the conversation when I hear about someone else's trip.

Tracy

Its called the Me Me Me , syndrome! very common in society these days!

Just try to ignore them Heavens, they are just sad, little people.

I know some like that alright! They keep going on about how their trip was so much better than mine, how they got better value, they ate nicer meals, they stayed in nicer hotels..... I just yawn and yawn and try to change the subject!

Heavens,

Welcome back! Hope you had a fantastic anniversary. I remember your many questions prior to your trip snd am eagerly awaiting YOUR trip report. I promise not to turn your thread into a discussion about my trips. When can we expect a trip report?

A good lstener will be remembered long after a long-winded talker.

I can't blame people.

I think few of us have the narrative skills to make a good story out of "What I Did On MY Summer Vacation."

And even if we do, there is the old line from Oscar Wilde to consider: "If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible."

You know how your eyes glaze over while they're talking? Watch their eyes when it's your turn! Keep it short and sweet and they may return the favor. Either that, or work up a really good routine and take it on the road. Mark Twain did well with that.

Oh, it is human nature, don't worry about it. Have you noticed it with other subjects you bring up? It is a way of connecting, sometimes it makes a good conversation, where you can compare stories. Basically people are more interested in themselves anyway.

Just talk about your trips here, write a report, refer to your own experiences and we will all read it and roll around in it and compare it to our own experience.

Travel is no different than telling the same pereson about something your kids did or that you bought a new car. After your first 30 seconds they go right into how theirs was blah, blah, blah.
The great thing is you are the lucky one that went to 2 of my favorite places, Paris and Ireland. Waiting to hear all the details.

It's simply a conversation. You're lucky that your friend wanted to talk about travel. I know it's difficult not to go on and on about a recent trip but really, that can easily be boring.

Travel stories to top one's own, while annoying, do not begin to approach the sick/dying/while I was in the hospital/let me tell you about MY operation/ stories. Prattle on about Paris, please! :)

My pet peeve is when one is when they say, "did you go here?" and when you say no, they say, "Oh, you need to go back. You missed out."

and often their visit was 30 years ago!

I agree completely with L84SKY. I am usually happy when I get someone interested enough to have a conversation with me about my trip, even if it includes details about theirs. I have a few friends who would care less, and get bored within seconds. I have a really good friend who probably doesn't even know where Europe is, let alone any of the countries it in. I come home anxious to tell her all about it, and all she wants to talk about is her pregnancy, which I had already been hearing about for months!

Tracy

Hmmm. Are you saying you don't want to hear about their trip to Paris -- even if it was five years ago but still as important to them as your recent one was to yours? I guess I don't get the complaint. It seems you are saying "I want to talk about my trip but I don't want them to talk about theirs."

Let's be honest. Probably the only reason they even asked about your trip was because theirs was so special to them, and they like to be reminded of it. Why would they care more about what you saw and did than about what they saw or did?

Hi H,

It's better than having them talk about their kids, or their grandkids, or their operations or their aches and pains. :)

By the way, did I mention my recent visit to Paris?....

((I))

Kind of like coming back to work on Monday and a co-worker asking "How was your weekend?" solely as a pretense to tell you about theirs. Which I suppose is more polite than "Let me tell you about my weekend."

Or my favorite: the people who never ask about your kids unless theirs did something amazing (at least to them), at which point they say "So how are your kids?, then get your kids' names wrong, then wait a good 15-20 seconds before going into what their kid did.

But this is God's way of reminding us to not do the same, and to keep it short.

You all are so funny and it really helps me when you make me see the funny side of things. I was talking to my friend yesterday..."how was your trip?" I go on for about a minute..."well, did you stay in any castles? Did you go to Hermes? Did you do any of the 15 things that we did on OUR trip when we went?" In other words saying that bc we don't have her over the top budget we couldn't possibly have enjoyed our trip as much as she did hers five years ago. Actually I had already heard about most of the trip. And then she goes on about how badly the French shopkeepers treated her wonderful children (she does have wonderful children) when they went inside the tres expensive shops, yada yada.

HECK NO, I don't want to hear about HER trip. I want to prattle on and on about MY trip. Hers was so boring compared to ours...LOL.

OK, trip report coming. Had to jump back into work so not a lot of time for the computer. Will post soon.

Suffice it to say that I am sick for having to leave Paris and counting the days until I can return again where I rightly belong, cruising the Seine and eating every crepe in sight, finding corner cafes to wash the chocolate down with. WE loved it. I am IN LOVE with Paris and France...more later. Thanks, good Fodors friends.

Just yesterday I had a similar experience re. a trip I will be taking in two days. A friend asked me to call her when I get back to tell her and her husband about my trip to Wales and England; they will be travelling about the UK in about four weeks, and are still finalizing plans; she wanted to know if the places that I plan on visiting (and esp. the walks I will be taking) might be appealing to them. But of course another woman at the same party jumped in with, "Let me tell you about my trips," even though (a) her trip had been at least 100 miles distant, and (b) she likes to do very different things than this couple.

no different from anything else...some people are far too eager to put out their "credentials" on whatever topic is being discussed.

Gee, Heavens, now that you describe it, I think I want to hear about your friend's trip instead of yours. That castle sounds neat and what did they buy at Hermes? What are th 15 things they did that you didn't do? No offense, but I really can't blame her.

Sorry, only joking, but you DO get the picture, don't you?

This is just our human nature.

Don't you hate to tell people you have headache only to hear their stories of aspirin, migraines, etc... ?

So, you see,it's not only trip-related.

Yes, I do it all the time.

I also bug people to tell me all about their trips even when they don't volunteer any info. "Where did you go; where did you stay; can I see your pictures?" It's an illness.

Neopolitan, can I give my friend (Cindy) your number so she can call you and tell you ALL about her trip to Paris five years ago? And about ALL the shops on the Champs Elysees they went into for presents? I am sure she would love to share her Louis Viuttan story with you. And you sound like you are dying to hear it...

All I can tell you is that no one has ever enjoyed Paris as much as we did on our trip. It was the BEST ever trip thanks to my wonderful Fodors friends advice...

Well, I suppose in the best of all possible worlds, conversation would proceed like a well directed play, in which the actors cooperate with each other to ensure that the performance is a good one, instead of jumping cues and upstaging their fellow cast members.

But even in the professional theatre; even when the actors are both talented and generous with each other; even when they have good material to work with - actors often have to contend with bored/unimaginative/rude audiences. Example: despite the entreaties of the management, it still transpires that some audience members will flip out cell phones in the middle of a performance - and a performance that they have paid to hear, to boot! So, take comfort, Heavens: you aren't alone in finding that people ask to hear something, then proceed to direct their energies elsewhere.

So, where's your trip report? And don't tell me your dog ate it - that's my excuse. :)

Heavens, you sound offended. I hope you are joking just as I was. But surely you get the point? You both went to Paris. You both had a wonderful time. Why is she supposed to listen with glee at your report, but you don't want to listen to hers? Please tell me you "get" it. You actually sound like they must have had a horrible time because of what they did, and you seem determined to prove your trip was better than theirs.

There are people who talk about their trip, and then there are people who <b>talk</b> about their trip.

I'm neither. I just don't talk about my trips, although I do want to talk about it with someone. But I also understand that sometimes I might over do it, so I just listen until I'm asked. Then my cup runneth over! :D

Well, people are people and we are all pretty much into ourselves. I learned a quite some time ago that there is a very, very small circle of people that I know that I can truly share my travel stories with. (I think that number now stands at about...uh...2)

The rest of the world? When I'm asked how my trip was? My pat response: &quot;It was great/terrific/fabulous. I/we had a wonderful time and I think you would have a great time there as well.&quot; That's all. If they want to know more, they'll ask. If they want to talk about what they did 5, 10, 30 years ago? That's cool with me. I like to talk travel, any travel. I travel for me, and to create my own memories. If others want hear about it, great. If not, hey. Life's too short, yanno?

Neopolitan, thanks for caring to clear this up. I was being very sarcastic, sorry, just my way. Yes, I get your point. But trust me, HERS is always better, but, wink wink, WE know mine was better...and the proof is in the puddin', as they say...I don't have ANY horror stories from our trip. Only stories of the wonder of Paris. So there, that proves it. Ours was better, right? LOL...

I will sit through other people's slide shows, vcr/dvd shows, look at their albums, anything about their trips.

If some friend tells me they just returned from a trip I talk to them so long about it that they have to continue on another day.

I throw in a few of my &quot;interesting&quot; incidents too, unless I can see that I am starting to &quot;one up&quot; them, then I stop. I don't think I used to stop though, lol.

Heavens,

I look forward to your trip report of Paris. I will be going for the first time in October.

And I bet my trip will be better than yours!!!! LOL (wink, wink, nudge,nudge)

Seriously though, I work with many folks who have traveled all over the world. Most of them were interested on my'take' of Italy. I am currently picking my friend Eds' brain about Paris(he went to school there, and hate him for it! LOL)

Tom

Well, that attitude can sometimes work to your advantage. In my 20s, I came back from studying in Paris broke and in desperate need of a job. On one interview at a bank in New Jersey, my prospective supervisor asked about the time gap in my resume, I said I had been studying in Paris. His eyes lit up and he started telling me about his honeymoon there three years earlier. He did 90% of the talking during the interview, but those fond memories left him feeling so good that I got hired even though I'm SURE I wasn't the most qualified candidate. He was a really nice guy and funny, not self-centered at all, just dying to talk to someone about stuff other than sports scores, lottery jackpots and week-ends at AC casinos.
Alas, after nine months, he was promoted and transferred elsewhere, my replacement boss was a sports fanatic with no interest in travel, so my ongoing incompetence at the job could no longer be ignored for the sake of decent conversation.

Btilke

You might just have inspired me to create a new consulting business:

&quot;Will listen to travel stories. $ X an hour....&quot;

LOL, BT.

((I))

Jolie...I agree it is an illness...I guess that's why we are all here on these boards....to listen (read) about other peoples travels. Not only to glean information about a particular place to stay or eat but to hear of their wonderful times.

I personally rather listen or read other peoples stories then tell my own. I have been to numerous countries and have yet to write a trip report, I guess I feel that compared to some I have read here mine would seem boring or blase. Also, although I go on my trips and enjoy them more than life itself, I can't seem to remember every little detail and in what order we do things. I once thought of keeping a travel diary on one trip and started to only to find it too much effort and took too much of my time that I would rather spend doing things or sleeping when too tired to write. I want to think of my trips as pleasure not homework after all I finished schools years ago and don't plan on being tested.

So IMO everyone can keep telling me their travel stories and I will gladly listen.

I too love to listen to other's travel stories. Consider it research bc I might want to go there next. Plus, I just think &quot;magic&quot; happens when you travel. And so many people discover little out of the way places or restaurants that are not in the guide books.

Yes, it is the one upmanship aspect that bugs me...some people just have to do that.

No, they seldom even ask, and when they do they don't listen. I know this and so I don't detail. As posted several times, it's just human nature.

There are two people that like to ask me about details of any particular place and I know who they are. I will detail with them, if asked a specific question.

I find that many people, just as on health issues, ask to be polite. But they really don't want any answer beyond 3 to 5 words.

Most people no longer even ask about my dying mother or stroke recovering father because they are living their own lives and find the short answers are too painful. I can tell because they tend to avoid the normal small talk. And so such is the pulp of life, I guess, and it might have always been so- to protect our own positive outlooks and outcomes. That's probably how we all survive emotionally to enjoy the good days.

With travel, I honestly think many people just have absolutely no interest.

Oooooooo....I hate the game of oneupsmanship! I've stopped talking to a few friends whose only goal in life is to constantly be one-up on me and it's annoying to me.

Listening to travel stories is great. Talking about it is better if it helps both sides with future plans, etc. Being here is the best, as we can all use our experience to help someone with a question. :D

So...how was Paris and Ireland? ;)