Do French people dislike Americans?
 

I would love to travel to France, but my husband is against the idea. He has heard from multiple sources that french people do not like americans and are rude to them. It seems like such a beautiful country and I want to go! Has anyone had negative experiences when they were over there? Thanks!

No.

Though I suspect your husband's attitude will make it look as if they are.

I have been a member of this forum since July 1993 (used 3 different names throughout the years)-- possibly one of the oldest members to date. I used to see this question posted and discussed more frequently in the past. In a synopsis, if I was to answer in general terms the answer is that absolutely NOT, the vast majority of the French people that I have come across after 7-8 visits to various parts of France have been very pleasant and not one instance of rude behavior. God honest truth. Go to France, if you don't you will be missing out on one of the most beautiful, interesting countries on the Globe.

No the people of France do not hate those of America.

Sometimes busy waiters with too much or too little education may not observe all the usual attitudes you may be used to but does not mean they hate Americans.

Unless, of course, you are your husband are bankers, when, of course, all bets are off. :-)

Aboslutely not - thats like asking if all Americans hate the French. Complete over-generalisation.

If you are polite and respectful of them and their culture they will treat you the same as I am sure you and your husband would treat a visitor to the US.

If you are obnoxious and rude (and definitely not saying you or any other american are) then you will be treated as such as I am sure you would treat a visitor in the US being rude and obnoxious.

You do need to be mindful of the differences in culture however - service is not the same friendly service you get in America as it just isnt done that way in France generally. You have to request the check and can be ignored for long periods if you dont ask for something. You dont get ice in your drinks generally. So as long as you are aware of what you might run into and not consider these things rude then you should be absolutely fine!

Enjoy France!

We were there last month and the people were friendly and very nice.

What the French dislike are loud obnoxious tourists, not restricted to Americans. More and more French speak passable English and are quite willing to be friendly and helpful.

NO. As Viajero says, this used to be as regular a question as restaurant in Paris.
With regard to waiters, we've had a big dose of attitude from time to time--have had it in the US also.
It is courteous to try to speak a few words of French, observe THEIR custom of saying hello and goodbye and thank you upon leaving a shop (as I do in the US!).
Manners make you nice to know. France is a wonderful place with nice people.

Now that the basic fact has been established (though doubtless someone will come on the thread to allege French xenophobia) perhaps the discussion could focus on "What I need to know about France & the French in order to have a pleasant holiday"

You've had good advice about cultural differences. They are subtle and they are important. The French are scrupulously polite, IME. Politeness expresses itself differently: through reserve, formality, deference... in short, through "correctness". Not the American style at all.

That may make them seem cold or brusque. As a people, they are not.

They can also be scathing in response to what they see as rudeness in others.

I've never experienced the intense hostility or the menace of violence I sometimes observe as a visitor to the US. But I've been told off, in no uncertain terms and in a tone of high dudgeon. I generally deserved it.

We have been to France 8 times and have traveled all over the country. I do not recall a single instance of rudeness and certainly have had no indication that the French "hate" Americans. To the contrary, if you treat them with respect, they are quite friendly for the most part. It is nice to greet them when you enter a store - (Bonjour, Madame). They prefer to help you rather than have you pick up the merchandise. Restaurants do not rush diners in and out to turn tables - the table is yours until you are ready to leave so you normally have to specifically request the check, etc.

I do find myself a little baffled by tedgales characterization of Americans as intensely hostile and violent. As an American I haven't experienced either.

I have had many extremely pleasant interactions with French people in Paris and in provincial France, with never a hint that anybody disliked Americans.

I think some of the perceptions of rudeness among the French come from misunderstandings of the fundamental differences between our rules of courtesy and theirs.

I have sometimes had conversations with French people about the differences in manners between US culture and French culture, and they have always been surprised that things that are second nature to them are not second nature to us. Saying bonjour and au revoir upon entering and leaving a shop fall into that category. In fact, saying bonjour before engaging in any conversation seems to fall into the same category. It seems to appear rude to many French people if you just embark on a conversation without a preliminary greeting.

I have heard people say that the French are rude because they refuse to understand our attempts to speak French and answer any comment we make in French by speaking English. In my opinion, what is going on here is that the French people are as eager to practice their English as we are to practice our French. In my experience, an attempt to communicate with me in my own language is a sign of trying to be helpful, even if from my point of view I would rather be speaking to them in my flawed French.

"Sometimes busy waiters with too much or too little education may not observe all the usual attitudes you may be used to but does not mean they hate Americans."

Most French waiters are career waiters who have trained for the job so never say they lack education! Their attitude is different to an American waiter's yes, but that has nothing to do with their education level, it is to do with cultural differences, and respect.

Accept that things will be different in France (or anywhere in Europe for that matter), no ice, no airco, small beds, meals taking hours, service being "slow" (at least by US standards!), food sometimes not what you are used to, and if you can accept all that you will have a wonderful holiday.

Go for it!

What are planning on wearing?

We spent 8 days in Paris last year, as an add on to a trip to Scandinavia. My husband didn't really think he would like it.

Guess who's heading back for 6 weeks later this year?? He absolutely LOVED it and now we will spend 2 weeks in Paris and the rest of the time exploring southern France.

The suggestions above are all good; common courtesy and good manners go a long way towards feeling welcomed - in France or anywhere for that matter.

We are planning our 9th trip to France this fall. Many people have said the same to us that the French are rude. Our comment is always the same---"When was the last time you were there?" Their answer is the same---"We'll we've never been there, but we've heard that."

Read the common courtesy tips in the above posts and you will be treated kindly.

Of all the places we've been, we feel the most welcome in France----enough said.

Hi rol,

Your DH's friends are at least a decade out of touch.

Not only are the French not anti-American, the government has spent a number of years working on teaching those in trades popular with tourists how to be more welcoming and friendly.

The perception of dislike for Americans comes mostly from those visitors who don't bother to take the time to learn what is expected of guests visiting strangers.

They really do think that it is important for someone to say "bonjour" (or bon soir) prior to doing or saying anything else.

They expect "s'il vous plait" and "merci" as a matter of course.

They think that people who offer to pay in US dollars instead of Euro are dolts.

Despite what your husbands acquaintances might have told him offers of nylons, chocolate and American cigarettes will not be met with approval. :)

Enjoy France.

((I))

"french people do not like americans and are rude to them"

I have to say that never in my life have I seen this phenomenon. Not just by Frenchpeople towards Americans, but by anyone anywhere towards visitors from an unpopular country.

Some people in once-occupied Europe, or those former British Empire nations that brainwash their young into believing all their problems are the fault of a nation that stopped governing them 50 years ago or more, often mutter behind their backs at a foreigner from a country they believe has damaged theirs (or, late at night, after a few drinks, tell them what they think). But I've never, ever, seen this turn into rudeness during routine tourist activity.

If rolfene's husband is hearing different, he's socialising with "multiple sources" of restricted social skills. There are lots of reasons an American might choose to regard some French behaviour as rude (Nikki's excellent note lists some of them). Only the truly crass will assume that what they perceive as rudeness reflects someone else's attitudes to his nation.

The experiencer of rudeness might just be wrong (he might think that not being given the bill in a restaurant within 0.3 milliseconds of arriving is "rude"), he might be unaware he's just offended someone (handling fruit at a market stall is ill-mannered in France) or he might just be the kind of obnoxious git who invites rudeness (Parisians suffer boors and fools about as graciously as New Yorkers). Or a gazillion other things.

One true lesson about the husband's "multiple sources" is that many Americans do leave France convinced they're being victimised. In 100% of cases, they would do better to examine why they think that than passing on unfounded explanations for a phenomenon they may well have misunderstood anyway.

<< He has heard from multiple sources that french people do not like americans and are rude to them >>

I've had this said to me as well. Every time I ask the person what towns in France they have been to where they have been treated poorly. Without fail, every single person has then stated that they have never been to France.

Tell your husband to go back to "those people" and ask them where and when the French were rude to them. I guarantee he will receive the same answer as I.

Yes, I have experienced rudeness in France. I have also experienced rudeness in America. And, on occasion, I am rude.

Have been to France (Paris several times, Loire Valley, Provence, Strasbourg and a few other cities) a number of times over a 40 year period; have never been treated rudely or unkindly so far, as a matter of fact, just the opposite most of the time.

We had rented a car in Avignon and on the day to turn it in, we put the wrong gas and it stopped in front of a tire place that was ready to close.
The tire guy put it in his store (pushed it in--I speak VERY VERY little French--can read well).In the waiting room was a couple, who at first didn't say much, but after apologizing for their bad English, said they would take us back to our hotel.
In the meantime the tire guy was talking to EuropaCar or whoever. Having to make MANY phone calls. Staying past his closing.
The nice couple returned us to the hotel. The car got picked up 'sometime" and there were no charges to our credit card for any of it. That doesn't seem very rude to me.

Need to add, the couple became our go between with the tire guy, explaining our situation, etc. Their English was quite proficient but they were apologetic.

My wife has had quite a few problems in France and she is French. Okay French Canadian. On many, many occasions the French have asked me (native English speaker) to translate for them what my wife has just said to them in french. I love translating my wife's french into french. It really pissses her off.

I strongly suggest your husband not learn Canadian french before you go to France.

I can't believe this is a serious question.

I don't think the French dislike Americans, but we were paid what the speaker said was a BIG compliment when we used our French in restaurants - that we seemed like Canadians!

Ah my point about education might have been missunderstood

too little - then may not understand what the tourist is asking for so does the wrong thing, brings the wrong drink etc

too much - is keen to show his outstanding skills at understanding and may offer too much information. bring too much ice as he knows that americans like ice, when the customer thought he had made it clear, etc

As you say in France being a waiter is a career, not a job for those waiting to be actors etc.

Some say that Parisian are a bit distant. I've never had a problem.

It might help not to be too loud and learn a few starter words such as hello, good-bye, thank you and you're welcome. That usually causes a smile and go from there.

We were once in a train station when we saw a bit of a commotion. I believe a trainmaster was accusing an American student of changing the date on her train pass. She was just starting to cry.

She seemed to have a growing crowd on her side until she decided that the way to go was to curse at him. That definitely turned the crowd against her.

Ah, a teenager behavior carried onto adulthood. Less one knows about the situation, the more one is certain about the situation in black and white terms.

OK, I think we've nailed this one.

mamcalice, I did not characterize Americans as hostile or violent.

But I've never seen a streetlight in France, nor been given the finger nor been shouted at in public (except once in Paris, by a crazy). I've experienced all 3, mercifully rarely, in the US. (And here in Canada too, btw.)

During our first trip in 1972, we were admiring the wrought iron work on the doors of Notre Dame. A well-dressed elderly mqan engaged us in conversation and bought us a coffee. He was from the WWII era and was still thanking Americans, even those who were obviously too young to make any contriburtion.

The French were anti-American during the civil rights era and the US involvement in Vietnam. That animosity was filled with historic irony.

We made a trip in the 1980's when the people were universally extremely rude and intolerant. After the Albertville Olympics and the national campaign to act human, the problem has seemed to disappear. There is still a problem with the Parisians and the way others speak French.

No streetlights, Ted? What is the proper etiquette for bumping into a Parisian on a dark street corner?

Damn android autocorrect. I wrote streetfight - guess I should have typed street....fight

In my experience the French men are some of the most polite and courteous people I have encountered. It never fails if I am on a bus or train or going on stairs, a French man will reach down and carry my bag every time. And I certainly appreciate that!

what? those cheese-eating surrender-monkeys? Darn them all. Darn them all to heck!

(It's the Brits and French who don't like each other, sort of, we've been having jolly wars for and against for centuries. I'm not aware of the French not liking Americans. I thought some Americans turned against the French a few years ago - remember 'Freedom Fries'?).

There's also some confusion I've seen in people's minds on this forum between not necessarily approving of a country and its actions, but that not effecting how you view the individual citizens. America's foreign policies do get a lot of criticism in Europe. If you are a certain type of extreme patriot American it seems that you are able to translate that into 'doesn't like Americans'. You know, can't bear to hear a word that's 'anti-American' in all the meanings of that phrase. We are not so hung up on our national identities in Europe. Criticise our country and we don't imagine you are criticising us personally.

Go to France. Mind your Ps and Qs. Have a lovely holiday.

Everything depends on your perspective.

I have been to France numerous times and had only one or two contacts that I consider rude (no more than you would find anywhere else).

However, the French in general are more reserved than Americans and service staff tends to be more professional and less gushingly friendly (and silly IMHO) than you often see in the US. Also, people do not go areound grinning all day - or shout have a nice day at everyone they encuonter. Some people thinks that means they are rude. These are the same people who think New Yorkers are rude - when we are merely busy and moving faster than they are.

However, if he really beleives the French are rude I'm sure he will find someone who is.

It bears repeating: France really is a lovely place (for the most part). Even if the French people were as rude as they are reputed to be in certain circles, their country would still be well worth visiting.

Fortunately, they are not. So go!

Colduphere - too funny re: French Canadian. We recently flew through Montreal on the way to Paris, so of course started to hear French much sooner in the journey than usual. Being most used to hearing Parisian French, Canadian French did sound funny to my ears, though I couldn't pick out exactly what the differences were. Glad to hear I'm not the only one...

<<We made a trip in the 1980's when the people were universally extremely rude and intolerant. After the Albertville Olympics and the national campaign to act human, the problem has seemed to disappear.>> Strangely I made a trip in the 80s as well, spending a month in France over a summer. People weren't universally anything - so many were very nice and engaging. I had a lovely time. As much of this post seems to point out, whenever you make a blanket statement, you go down a dangerous path. I'm certain there are plenty of others with great experiences from pre-Albertville. As others have said, if you go looking for rudeness, you'll probably find it.

i did research before my trip to France on this very subject. After visiting i came to two preconcieved conclusions that were justly vindicated:

1. The French are simply a very proud people. any effort to speak a few key phrases goes a long way and met with smiles
2. Parisians are in just as much of a hurry as New Yorkers.

That said, i've encountered far worse attitudes in DC or NY than anyplace i traveled in all of Europe. (All you have to do is fly back to JFK and have Keesha scold you for not having your passport already out) Some Americans tend to stick out like sore thumbs by talking loudly, wearing ridiculous fanny packs with gleaming white sneakers, and complaining how everything is different. Every Parisian i encountered outside of service industry was pleasant and accomodating. I'm not saying go buy Rosetta Stone... just make an effort to "fit in" and you'll be among us that can't wait to go back

Nona1 makes a great point. I've had several conversations with French people (and other Europeans) over the years about US policies, politicians, government, etc. The conversation typically doesn't last long when I tell them I agree with what they're saying. I certainly never took it personally.

Dunia - my favourite example, as it happens every trip is ... Quelle heure est-il?

In France it sounds like ... Quelle heure est-il?

When my wife says it, it sounds like ... urtil.

Which leads to the person saying something like ... Excusez-moi madame. Je n'ai aucune idée de ce que vous avez dit. Monsieur, comprenez-vous ce qu'elle a dit?

It makes my holiday.