20th Anniversary-Leave Kids Alone In Hotel Room?
 

hello,
Next year will be our 20th wedding anniversary. We are planning a trip with our two daughters who will be 14 and 18 at that time to Paris. Would it be considered a bad idea to leave them alone in the hotel room for one evening while my wife and I go to dinner/show?
We'll be there over Christmas for one week.
Thank you. B

I've never been to Paris, but at 14 and 18, I see no reason leaving your girls alone would be a serious issue.

By alone, I mean alone in the hotel room.

I wouldn't leave them alone in a hotel room - what a bore! I'd send them out to explore the streets of Paris! Mine were all over Paris alone at those ages.

They are certainly old enough to be left alone, and yes, certainly old enough to be out ON their own while you have a celebratory dinner. Have you asked THEM what they think about this idea?

I agree with the caveat that I would only leave them alone in the hotel if I were comfortable leaving them alone at home. You know your kids, I don't.

At 18 though, I expect someone to be an adult and capable of accepting adult responsibilities like watching over a 14 year old.

Let them go have a pizza or something in a restaurant nearby. An 18-year old is an adult, she can look after her sister.

And congratulations on your anniversary!

>> <i>We are planning a trip with our two daughters who will be 14 and 18 at that time to Paris. Would it be considered a bad idea to leave them alone in the hotel room for one evening while my wife and I go to dinner/show?</i><<

I'm sorry -- but why on earth would this even be an issue? One of them is 18 years old after all. She is an adult - she can go any darn place she wants (or stay in for that matter).

. . . Unless the older daughter has a mental disability of some sort and the 14 yo is the care taker when you are not around . . . but if that was the case you likely would have mentioned it.

I actually understand your concern-if your kids have not traveled alone in large cities before at night, I could see be a bit nervous. I think a great idea would be for you and your wife to arrange a dinner in an area not to far from where your kids could also enjoy a movie and pizza out for instance.

The best wood fired pizzas in Paris IMO are served on rue de Canettes in the Latin Quarter near St. Germain. Two of the well known ones are:

Pizza Positano 15,rue des Canettes, 75006 Paris
Chez Bartalo 7, Rue des Canettes, 75006 Paris

Although I prefer one called Santa Lucia 22,rue des Canettes, 75006 Paris because it has a bit more space. When we have friends visit with teens we always go to pizza one night since it is economical and everybody seems to like pizza :)

There are tons of movie theaters near there as well and also that area is well known for student shopping since it is really pretty much of a student area. If you and your wife stayed in that same area-you will find some really nice restaurants as well and you might not feel like you are too far away.

The elder is certainly old enough to go out to student cafes and pubs - and when our were similar ages they spent a good part of a trip in Paris doing things THEY wanted while we did others - including in the evening.

If you feel they are too naive (isnt; an 18 year old away at school?) - or the 14 year old won;t follow the rules - then you will need to sort it out. But at 18 mine were adults living at school - as I had been at that age - and running their own lives.

Much better that they have a plan for the evening - where to eat dinner and a museum or ballet or something to go see/do.

Well, when we celebrated OUR 20th anniversary in Paris we took all 3 of our children that age WITH us to a wonderful celebration dinner. And actually we did it again for our 40th in Paris.

The second time the kids had their spouses with them!!

An 18 year old is a full on adult. They can't keep her in if they want to. Now, she may be 'unworldly' and still seeks her parent's permission to do things. That is absolutely fine. That is between her and the parents. But she is an adult and to ask if it is 'OK' for her/both girls to be in a hotel room alone just doesn't seem a serious question.

If you trust them, I also think they could go out somewhere safe given the older is 18, She would be doing stuff at night, anyway.

I was in a hotel once where the owners let their teen kids alone in the room, and the kids were very noisy and I complained to the hotel. Don't let that happen. DO you know how noisy your kids are when you aren't around?

Perhaps we are underestimating the OP. Since his name is modestobruce, I'm going to guess that he's from Modesto, and not Podunk.

I'm also wondering if mb was thinking of letting his kids do what they want for dinner, and then go back to the room alone. Maybe he just didn't take the time to spell out all the circumstances.

Bruce, leave those kids alone.

Let them go to a movie or just explore the city. You will have probably been in Paris for a few days already before this event, so you will see what a simple and safe city Paris is.

And frankly, the 18 year old -- do you really think that she would stay in the room all evening no matter what she promises you?

Thanks for the replies!!! The older one is a naive young lady albeit very intelligent. Maybe I'm projecting my fears. My parents left me alone in a movie theater in New Orleans when I was 12. Some seedy, creepy guys were sitting near me and one made a comment about where's my friends and family? I like the idea of a nearby pizza place but walking around Paris without us at night isn't going to happen.

>>walking around Paris without us at night isn't going to happen.<<

IMO that is silly. Have you been to Paris before? - wait til you are there and you'll see. (BTW - I'm from the Central Valley - Paris is <B>MUCH</B> safe than Modesto, 10,000% safer than Stockton.)

Do realize that a huge numbers of 18 yo's travel to Paris . . . <u>all by themselves</u>.

And projecting what happened to you at 12 on an 18 yo - my goodness.

Maybe I watch too many Liam Neesan (sp?) movies, lol. I suppose my attitude will change as we get over there but you don't know my daugher, she has a very innocent view on life. The younger one will be the protector. Yea, Modesto/central valley has gotten pretty dangerous.

Things are going to get a bit romantic when you return from a 20th anniversary dinner. Send the teenagers out for a walk at midnight.

Here's another idea-book them on the night tour with Fat Tire Bikes:

http://paris.fattirebiketours.com/to...ight-bike-tour

I know the company pretty well because a friend worked for them-it was started by a guy from Austin TX, so almost exclusively English speakers since it is geared for tourists.

I don't think it's silly to not want two teens, one only 14, walking around a big foreign city alone at night. And the idea of a 14 yr old girl going out "clubbing" is a bit much IMO.

You never know which way the wind blows on Fodors, not long ago, people were crucifying that English couple for leaving a child sleeping in a hotel room when they were not that far away outside. It would have been perfectly normal if they were at home and there was that distance from a child sleeping in a bedroom, but because it was a foreign place, and a hotel or villa or something, lots of people posted that they should be charged with a crime.

Christina - that was a <B>THREE</B> year old - not an 18 yo adult . . .

modestobruce: What area are you staying - then maybe we can make some other suggestions, but a Fat Tire tour would be fabulous fun. (and totally safe ;) )

Modesto...I fully understand your question and sorry for all the parenting advice that you did not ask for...none of anyone's business. And honestly going out for pizza and a movie is probably not a very good idea either...you will be touring and walking and busy all day no doubt and my guess is that your kids would love some down time with their "devices" and if available watch a movie in your hotel room. They need nothing more for the evening and yes they will be safe...hopefully you have some phone communication with them in case of any emergency. As usual this thread has gone really off topic. The simple answer to a simple question is yes and enjoy your dinner out.

Bruce- Please ignore the posters here who are questioning your parenting choices.

I can absolutely see why you would not want your daughters walking around a large city in a foreign country where they don't know the language or the laws.. Just sayin'. (I have daughters and I'd have felt the same way.)

Stick to your guns! Dinner nearby for them, then back to hotel is a good thought. :) I'm on your side!!!

Happy Anniversary! Have a great trip!

@dulcius: "Come to that, I wouldn't walk around NYC alone at night at any age."

You're joking, right? This isn't the 70's.

I like gretchens idea of the whole family going out together to celebrate.

I would want downtime away from mom and Dad at that point. Wait till you check out your area.

Take the kids with you. Otherwise, you're likely to be anxious and won't enjoy yourselves.

Kerouac- define "some advice". Perhaps I'm wrong, but I AM a parent and I get a definite vibe that some posters here are putting the OP down for even asking the question.

To each his own.

Only you know your daughters. Why not set them up for an evening in the hotel room, if you think they shouldn't be out alone. Like get pizza IN, or set up a picnic, have them watch French TV or read a book or something.

As others have mentioned many 18 year olds are backpacking Europe on their own. So clearly there is no one correct answer here.

<I like gretchens idea of the whole family going out together to celebrate>

nanabee, If they wanted to do that, they wouldn't have posted this question in the first place.

Considering that many 13 and 14 year olds - all over the US - are babysitting younger children - and many 17/18 year olds are living at college - I really don't think it makes sense to lock these 2 in their room as if they were 8 or 9 years old.

If they are very naive - this is a chance to broaden their horizons (not just this night but their entire visit to Paris). Allowing young adult children to grow up is not neglecting them - that is the proper role of parents - to let them grow and set them free.

Unless there are specific concerns about the 14 year old - running off away from her sister - I can't imagine not letting them have a kids night in one of the gazillion perfectly safe place in paris.

As for being afraid to walk the street in New York oneself - well that's just ridiculous. I mean you can be as terrified as your want - but if you keep heading in that direction you'll never leave your house.

There is no doubt that you can leave them in the room without concern. I suspect that once you settle into the neighborhood you will feel perfectly comfortable with them wandering down the street to either eat or get some takeout and I suspect the girls will be thrilled to chill in the room if you have been going hard for several days.

Our 13 and 16 did just that over Thanksgiving, getting some food in the Rue Buci area, wandering back to our apartment and catching up on photos and electronics after an exhausting day. Frankly, we would have been comfortable with them doing more but they were beat! Anyway, you will be fine and it will be a good experience for all, however far you are comfortable stretching.

I wouldn't leave any kid alone in a hotel room in Modesto, but we're talking about Paris, where teens are safely out and about until late at night in all parts of the city with no worries whatsoever. Maybe the OP will wise up to how safe the city is and how kids are fine out on their own after dark once he gets there and actually sees it. It's astonishing to me how Americans, who live in one of the most dangerous places on earth, where any nutcase can carry a lethal weapon, worry about Europe.

LOL, Tuscan. We do have aliens here, but they are born and bred DCers.

When will you be in Paris? In June it is light until 10 pm. It will really not feel like sending your kids out in the dark in a strange city.

I must say that my kids quite enjoy an evening of room service with a movie, even if old enough to go out on their own.

When my daughter was 17 she went back packing around Europe for 3 months. This was in the day before cell phones and internet and our only means of keeping in touch was letters to American express offices on her route, and the occasional (and expensive) international phone call. Let your girls plan what they will do with their evening, go out and enjoy your anniversary in fine style, and you will all be the better for it.

My daughter inter railed at 18 with three boys. The first we heard from her was a phone call from Budapest

I had a first timer to Orlando on the plane Sunday night. I told him where not to go in the city beautiful. Orlando is a crime infested jungle where they will shoot you before even getting your money. Paris is very safe. You might get pick pocketed but you will live to tell about it. Once modestobruce gets there he will be ok and feel safe for his girls.